this is based on a thought I had about how both Alex and Reggie barely ask for help in the show and constantly help luke and or Julie. I'm also pretty sure they both have a large tendency to push things down sooo...here we are this prompt also the nickname blue and the whole confrontation part was inspired by the user dontm1ndthebullocks   and the book losing spirit go hype them the fuck up 

December 24th, 2020, 2:00am

Alex's POV

I couldn't sleep, it's been like this for the past few weeks now but today of all days really? If only anxiety was negotiable. Ever since we came back things have been getting worse... well for me mainly. Luke is having a blast leading the band alongside Julie and using the opportunity to swallow her face whenever it was favorable. Reggie was able to reconcile with his parents how he did that when he's translucent ill never know but good for him I guess. And then there's me, which is a tricky thing cause I told the band things that were different than what was actually happening.

I said that Willie and I had moved on and were being wary of Caleb and all that bullshit as if I had actually seen him past the... revival? re revival? I don't really know what to call it but what I know what it is scary... its a humungous change and I don't think I can handle it. It's just like what is it called, how did it happen?! Is it short or long term, what do we do if we get caught again? does Julie even know how to do it again or like on cue?!?! There were so many questions but I knew answers would come at the sacrifice of my friend's happiness so I said everything was ok that my anxiety was getting better my relationship was getting better etc. I remember this one time at the end of practice I came back after getting some air and they were talking...

They were cheering about how great life... afterlife..? revival life? whatever how great life, in general, was going and how this was their second-second chance and everything is going good in life..... then I came up and i heard luke say "I hope he doesn't ruin it for us like we know its dire times but were happy ya know i just want to be happy without constant reminders that something bad is about to happen" No one disagreed... no one backed me up all of them just nodded in agreement. So I waltzed back in they asked me how i was and i lied my fucking mouth off. But anxiety isn't negotiable, especially on birthdays... December 24th my b-day or well known as on my brain calendar as " the - day - i - got - kicked - out " young me thought that since it was my birthday it would give me the benefit of the doubt when coming out... boy was i wrong but and it's today.... try to wish me luck.... notebook, should i call you notebook.... you should have a name... b. I'll name you b 

With a swift motion and hard indents "b" was sloppily carved into the front of Alex's marble composition notebook. He carefully hid "b" in between some couch cushions and desperately tried to fall asleep...

this did not work

Reggies POV

For some reason, I kept hearing creaking and walking. But it wasn't normal it was repetitive...Maybe Julie and Luke came back from that sleepover they had with Flynn!...... Wait sleepovers are overnight

There's only one reasonable explanation for this....the repetitive nature of the steps, the fact that its only me and Alex in the house there's only one answer

zombies.

 it has to be

Quickly yet quietly Reggie jolted up. Almost comically he tiptoed out of bed, with his sights mainly on the couch

Dang, these are some quick zombies they got Alex already.....

With a confusingly sad look on his face, Reggies puts his index and middle finger together then pointing them to the sky after kissing the tips

 "I will avenge you band brother"

Suddenly a shadow passed by him

This is my chance Reggie foolishly thought and proceeded to jump onto the figure...

Which was Alex

Which Reggies realized

Quickly Reggie ran for the light and inched closely to Alex knowing full well he would kill him if he wasn't careful

"Heeeeeeeeey Alex how are yo-"

"Are you crying....... OMG YOU'VE BEEN HURT"

"what no reg... I-"

"I'M SORRY I DIDN'T KNOW I JUMPED THAT HARD IM SOOOOORY"

"REG IT WASNT YOU!!!"

"oh"

"wait"

"You walking back and forth isn't that the thing you do when your stressed

" well..."

"... so is that why your were crying ?"

" uh.."

" because you were pacing, cause you were stressed?"

"ummmmmmm I plead the fifth?"

" alex..."

" reggie, reg mystery, Reginald whats uh whats up.."

"Why are you crying, you look all tired too and you're doing the breathy thing luke told me about"

"what? noooo what are you talking about"

"Is this one of those panic attacks?"

"um.."

"is it?"

"Let's go back to bed"

"Alex shouldn't we talk about this" 

"We have practice we need to sleep so we can be ready later, I'm suuuper tired that probably why I was um sleep walking..."

" sleep walking?"

" yep..."

" your lying.. whats wrong"

" nothing is wrong..! nothing is wrong, and honestly I'm offended you would accuse me of su-"

"Alex are you ok?"

"I'm fine"

"You don't seem fine"

"I know my emotions I'm fine ok..!"

"Really?"

"Yes"

"You're a shitty liar"

"It's that bad huh"

Alex's POV

"I don't wanna talk to him about this he doesn't deserve that.. UGHHHHH  WHY AM I SO BAD AT LYING!?!? He just got better.. he's doing better why can't I just do better?!" Alex silently thought to himself. And yet though he thought this he knew he was tired he knew he wanted to say something, no not wanted to he needed to, or else he'd overflow with emotions

"Alex, please talk t-"

"I'm scared"

Said Alex in a tone so broken and squeaky that he sounded like a little boy, just as small and fragile the day they had all met. As Alex said this it was like there was a ginormous weight that had been lifted off him as he fell to the ground sobbing. Reggie wanted an answer, of course, he would who wouldn't, he wanted to know what happened, or god forbid who happened but he knew how tired he looked, how dark his bags were, and how hard he fell he also knew that's this should be a band discussion

"Reg I ne-"

"it's ok you don't have to explain anything we'll all talk later"

There was a small point of silence in Alex's mind when his friend said that. we'll all talk later... which would mean added pressure... which would mean added pressure on the band... and when they're doing so good too... he couldn't.. he wouldn't... he won't. Then he thought of luke all that lukes done for him he can hold out.. just a little longer right? he won't ruin Lukes life for this he deserves this

Through sniffles and choked out syllables Alex was able to mumble out a couple of sentences, sentences that would complicate everything

"Can you please just promise me something"

"Yes, yes of course, what"

"Don't tell luke under any circumstances"

Fuck

Reggies POV

Its been an hour since Alexs breakdown took place and ITS ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT!!!!!

WHAT EXACTLY AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!?! Do I betray his trust and inevitably get in a fight. I hate fights, I don't want a fight, I-I want alex to be happy... he said he was happy, was he lying? I don't want to fight.. but I don't want alex to have to fight either he looked so tired, how did I never see how tired he was..? and AND! I know Mr. Lucas Micheal Patterson ok! Luke prides our band on being truthful, open, and, understanding... he'll be mad... aka another fight, so two fights in a row oooor no fights and Alex suffers. I want Alex to be happy. But I am scared of having an argument with everything going so good I don't know where exactly it'll take me in the sense of my mental health, I don't want to fight... Maybe there's a way to help Alex and avoid the inevitable... YEP!! that confirms it, I will help Alex and avoid the inching doom of me having a mental breakdown over one argument. Should one argument be this much of an issue... PROBABLY NOT BUT I WILL CROSS THAT ROAD WHEN I GET THERE