A sigh passed my lips as I stepped onto the ground, looking at the moon as I took in the new air around me. The London air. The air of the real world, away from Neverland and Peter Pan and the Lost Boys and Tinkerbell. I was free.

My eyes closed and I took in a deep breath, a smile resting on my face. "Ah. Freedom. How wonderful. Isn't it wonderful?" I opened my eyes and looked over to the little pigeon I'd heard land nearby. The pigeon looked at me, tilted its head, and then flew off. I giggled.

Hands wrapped around me - one around my waist and one around my mouth. My eyes went wide and I screamed into the palm of my attacker as I was pulled off my feet, pulled into a firm chest. "I do love the image of your smile, accompanied by the wonderful sound of your laugh." No. No! NO! I worked my ass off to escape this couldn't be happening! I'd only been here a short while! How had this bastard already found me? "Let's go home, Love." Smoke obscured my vision and all I could do was agonize and watch helplessly as I could do absolutely nothing as my freedom and my vision of happiness disappeared right before me.

-

The second my feet touched on NeverLand soil again and the hand was off of my mouth, I snapped. A scream of pure rage and agony ripped out of me, more an animalistic howl than anything. I spun around, my arm slamming against Pan's chest and planting him hard against the nearest tree. My other hand moved to my waist, pulling out my blade and pressing that to his throat. "WHY, PAN?" I screeched. "WHY?!"

His green eyes met mine without hesitation. "Why what?" He asked me quietly. Calmly. The tone infuriated me more. He hadn't even broken a sweat. This wasn't even hard for him.

Tears filled my eyes and I pressed the tip of the blade into him enough that a quiet hiss escaped his lips, his face twitching as just a little blood beaded on his skin, smearing across my hand and the weapon I held. "Your game is up. I won. I escaped this damned island. Why did you bring me back?" I demand, fuming, crying full out now. "Why?"

He looked at me, eyebrows coming together. Despite my blade against his neck, he isn't even trying to get away from me and I don't know exactly how to feel. Insulted; did he feel unthreatened by me? Angry; he didn't think I would kill him? Fearful; did he have some kind of plan? Flattered; did he trust me? There were about one hundred more possibilities I could think of, all of them on opposite ends of the spectrum of emotion. I didn't know how to feel at all. Even though I was already off my center of gravity, he made my head spin more.

"Are you really that blind? Can you really not see how much I need you?" He looked at me with wide, honest eyes that made me sick. Oh god how I wanted to believe it. It was crazy how easy it was for me to lean into him, my mind itching to fall into his words and hang on to every bit of what he had to say, giving in and trusting him as he wanted me to.

I shook my head, shaking my weakness into a corner and controlling it. I had simply grown too familiar and comfortable with this boy. "Don't do that," I seethed through gritted teeth. He looked confused. I glared at him. "Don't pretend that you care. Don't pretend that you love me."

Pan tilted his head and it was quiet for a long time until his hand rose to touch my face, his fingertips ghosting over my skin. "But, I do." My head flicked, pushing his hand away, and he frowned. "Why don't you believe me?" He looked at me, seeming completely exposed, and I felt... off. This whole thing felt wrong. It was like staring into the eyes of a wile animal and being told that it was friendly and wouldn't hurt you. I had him pinned but it felt so much like he was the one in control. That I was cornered. I knew that any second he could have the upper hand with just a flick of his wrist.

And yet... And yet. He had let me cut him. He hadn't so much as lashed out, even after I attacked him. He hadn't raised his voice or even used a harsh tone. He sounded soft and looked honest. It felt impossible not to believe him.

A breathy grunt escaped, slipping past my lips as I pushed off of him, letting my blade fall to my side. He stayed against the tree, leaning now instead of being aggressively pinned. "I- I WANT to. Heaven, I want to." I ran my free hand through my hair in frustration. "But I CAN'T, Peter."

His eyebrow rose as I looked at him. "Peter?" He asked me.

Damnit. I was calling him Peter again.

When I was first brought to this island, Pan and I had practically been enemies. I was from a place where I was finally being accepted... but not as myself. I had been used and abused by men all my life until I buckled down and pretended to be one, going on the run and keeping my head low. A bunch of boys had taken me in and I'd been passing as a boy ever since. It was nice, but it felt... lonely. Once I'd come to this island, I'd been exposed as a girl and had to live amongst a bunch of boys agains - except this time, completely exposed and completely myself. It made me assume the worst and throw up walls and in all that time, 'Pan' had been a word I cursed more than a name. An insult, same as 'Beast' and 'Demon'.

Then, it changed. Bae came to NeverLand.

The two of us became friends and I'd come to truly integrate into the Lost Boys while he was here. The two of us were only ever friends, but there was a time we flirted and maybe considered  it. In the end, Bae left NeverLand and the Lost Boys without me when it came down to it. Pan was there to pick up all the pieces when the only person in my life I'd ever trusted left me behind on the Hell Living of an island we both loathed, without even so much as a goodbye... In that time, 'Pan' became 'Peter' and we became closer. That was all ruined though. Once Peter told me that he'd fallen for me... Once he kissed me, memories of disgusting men and hands I didn't want were all I could think about. It took time, but even eventually we had reached a place where I felt an urge inside me open. The old memories were replaced with new ones; the old heartbreaks being mended by kind words and gentle kisses. Suddenly all I wanted was him and -

That terrified me. I'd never been comfortable with a man before. It was probably what really held me back from fully entertaining an idea of anything past friendship with Bae. Forming a relationship with any male that didn't in some way put me on edge- it was new and terrifying. Like I was in a dream and would wake up any second, Never Land having never even happened in the first place. It put me on edge and I was consumed with a WAITING for something terrible to happen. A complete shut down inside of me occurred and I pushed him out. I pushed him away. I ran from him and hid from him and used every bit of resource to get off this island and once I had, it had been complete bliss. A life away from the pressure of being in love and the expectation to act on it since it was reciprocated. A life away from Pan and the feelings he ignited inside of me.

While I was gone, though, I couldn't deny that I'd missed him. I'd gone from seeing him all day every second of every day to not seeing him at all for two and a half weeks. I'd come to terms with the odd, misplaced ache inside of me and had accepted the idea that I would never be able to be with the boy I loved simply because love scared me too much.

When it came down to it, I had lived a life that had convinced me no one could truly love someone - something - like me. Love terrified me so I ran from it and refused to accept that it could ever belong to me. No matter what truth showed itself to me.

Anger and pain and frustration and fear rose in me so fast in such a big amount that I had to get it out now or go mad. My hand wrapped round the hilt of my dagger again and I pulled it out, screaming that animalistic outburst once again as I flung the blade. Peter didn't even flinch as it implanted itself at least an inch deep into the bark of the tree he was leaning, merely inches from his arm.

Peter was suddenly right in front of me, holding my face as I looked back, my expression twisted and agonized. "Kiss me," he whispered. I shook my head, whimpering. "Do it. And- Listen to me, Love. If you find that it disgusts you and is as terrible as you think, then I will personally take you back to that land you so badly want to escape to. I will personally take you off this Island you seem to hate so much..." He swallowed, pain flickering across his features. "I haven't seen you smile like that since... Since Bae was here. You've been so miserable. If you truly only find unhappiness here, then I will free you. That's what love is. Letting you be happy, even if it's not with me."

I gasped as his fingers bushed against my skin, blinking to try and clear my mind. "Peter..."

"But," he interrupted. "If you kiss me and see for a second that maybe you're causing the misery you feel here because you're just too scared to accept that you can find love and a home and a life here.... Then we'll see what happens from there."

My eyes locked on his and then on his lips, returning slowly to his eyes again. "Kiss me," I barely whispered. He nodded and did just that. This kiss was soft and passionate ad emotional. It was tender and it filled my insides with such warmth and happiness that I could no longer deny it. My body eased and I leaned against him, my knees weak.

It seemed that only a second passed but I knew that it had been enough time that my lungs were burning before he leaned back. I didn't want him to. Damned it all I could die, I just wanted to keep kissing him. But he leaned back anyway.

His eyes locked on mine. "What's the verdict?" He whispered softly, caressing my face.

My lips curved slowly in a small smile. "Kiss me again?"

Peter grinned. "So I was right?"

A shaky laugh escaped me and my eyes watered, but I smiled. "Just... please, kiss me." That he could do without complaining or being asked twice, so kiss me he did.