As the darkness of sleep was falling away from me, I had to blink a few times to adjust to the light of the morning. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. I sighed quietly, knees pulled up so that I could rest my elbows on them and look around. I was in a tan tent, Henry sleeping in a cot on the other side of the bed just as I slept in one over here. It was early. So early that my younger brother wouldn't dare be awake yet. Quietly, I got to my feet and made my way out of the tent, pulling the hair tie off of my wrist to tie my hair up and away from my face.

Mornings in NeverLand were always a bit chilly and I rubbed my bare arms a second before looking around. It seemed I was the first one up again. Except for maybe Pan, who was around here somewhere.

Peter Pan. NeverLand.

Was I even allowed to be surprised?

Sighing to myself very quietly, I moved to the dead embers from the night before and sat in front of a log, leaning my back against the thing behind me. I pulled my knees to my chest and closed my eyes, my arms staying crossed over my chest. I'd changed out my town clothes for the forest garb the other Boys all wore. Henry had been severe about me being helpful and joining in on a lot of things but I didn't see the harm in it. Everyone would tease me as the only girl on the island. Playfully, but still, my pride wouldn't allow it. I didn't really know why Pan had kidnapped me along with my brother, as I was no True Believer or anything special. So, to prove myself, I worked and I trained and I did things because otherwise I was a burden and that was unacceptable.

"Goodmorning," A thick voice greeted me. My smile dropped away as I opened my eyes, the peaceful quiet of the forest-jungle was shattered. I looked over to see Pan with his foot up on a log, his arms crossed and his usual smug expression on his face.

Looking forward again, I became stoic. "Morning, Pan."

The older boy chuckled, moving from his position to sit next to me, taking the same arms-crossed, legs-pulled-up position I was in. "What's the matter, Love?"

Of all the things that had been happening on the island, Pan's stark difference between the fun but strict leader he was to his Boys and the kind friend he was to Henry was nothing compared to the total flirt he was with me. I mean, I wasn't as surprised as I'd thought I'd be when it all began. The Boys never really flirted with me, but they were friendly enough. Pan was ragingly flirtatious though and Henry despised it. Pan had grown to like the morning as I did, waking up before my brother and even before the other Boys as I did so that he could have a conversation with me without my protective brother hovering or the Boys interrupting, asking for orders and approval and other things that came with him being a leader.

Really, I'd skip the morning session and just sleep in if I could, but my body refused to let me get more than five hours of sleep a night. My time in the Enchanted Forest had been solicited by twenty years racing to school every morning, waking up the exact same time on the exact same, repeated day. My body had established a very strict schedule. So, even though a part of me very much wanted to, I was too proactive to be able to just lay in bed for long periods of time and wait for the Boys and Henry to wake up. Plus, Pan always got grumpy if we skipped our morning sessions and they weren't that bad really, so I didn't min them enough to make it a problem.

Pursing my lips, I tilted my head. "I like NeverLand," I whispered without thinking. Pan looked at me and I was surprised I'd admitted it myself, but I didn't meet his eyes. Calmly, I explained. "It's got the most wonderful cool mornings. Not overly cold, like some nights, which can also be nice actually, but just a little chilly. It's very easy to wake up to it. And the forest is gorgeous and the Boys are pretty good kids. I like the routine and the lack of adults and expectations. The lack of the glares and the judgements-" My throat formed a lump and I stopped talking to swallow it.

He reached over to lay a hand on my knee, comforting me. He'd done little touches before so I pushed it aside. There was no point in liking Peter Pan. No way he would get anywhere past this little flirtiness he held now. There was no way he'd really like me. Not me. If anyone at all. If it wasn't for this fact, I would have fallen for Pan's smile and smirk and laugh and the glint he got in his eyes when he was in the middle of action or the look he held when he was ordering his boys or the way the fire glinted off of the green color when it was dark and the boys were hollering and dancing around the bonfire. I would have fallen for the way he looked at me, touched me, and said my name. His pet names and his flirts...

But I hadn't. That would be dangerous, for both my heart and my family. I wouldn't want to go home, which was insane... and he would never like me back.

"It has to be hard," Pan whispered. "To be the Evil Queen's daughter."

My eyes met his and his look was so gentle that I wanted to lay against him and feel the softness I saw. I forced myself to stay still but he seemed to sense my want as he always sensed the want of the people around him. His hand moved from my knee to put his arm around my shoulders and he scooted closer. I looked at my lap. "Yeah." That's all I said.

I'd heard the story of my life countless times.

When I was born from my mother's first and so far only real, true love, Daniel, my grandmother Cora was ashamed. My mother refused to give me up so Cora had to rip me from her, hiding me away deep in the forrest, frozen in time. My mother knew I was alive somewhere, but didn't know where. She looked everywhere but couldn't find a single trace of me. Apparently, though, something happened to Cora because my spell was broken and I was found by a nearby woman and man who lived in a nearby home. By the time the curse hit, I was almost eighteen years old. When my mother saw me in every day, completely oblivious in the Enchanted Forest as I was in StoryBrooke that I was her daughter, she knew who I was. She didn't know how or why I was so much older, but she knew that I was hers. I had too many of hers and Daniel's features to not be her daughter. People pointed out the similarities between me and the mayor constantly. When the curse broke, I went to find my "parents," but when my mother found them first and brought the four of us all together, she explained that I was actually hers and they confirmed it with the story of finding me in the forrest. She told me about Cora and how she'd adopted Henry to make up for the void of missing me...

The thing was, after she claimed me, she made no effort to really make a relationship with me. I knew that she'd doomed me by letting me know I was her daughter because everyone else hated me - except Snow and Emma and, of course, Henry, who accepted me as a sister immediately as he knew who I was and had treated me as such for as long as he'd had that book - because she'd already replaced me with Henry and now I was the outsider to everyone and everything. Pan had gotten my whole story from Henry, who was only too willing to tell about the stories in his precious book from his hometown.

His thumb caressed my arm and I leaned back into him, enjoying the touch. I hadn't been touched like this by a boy since I was fifteen, in the Enchanted Forest, when a town boy kissed me on the cheek after weeks of flirting and running around with each other and the such. This seemed so much more real, though. This boy had authority and power and I was the daughter of a Queen; we weren't just two silly town kids chasing unrealistic daydreams. With all the coldness I'd been receiving these days, I'd come to enjoy Pan's warmth even more.

Okay so maybe I did have a little crush on him...

He leaned close, his nose ghosting my neck. My stomach flipped. "What are you thinking, Love?" This he hadn't done before. It seemed every few days he took the flirting to a new step, tiptoeing slightly closer each and every time. I couldn't say that I didn't like it. I did. It made me feel guilty how much I liked it afterwards when Henry talked about going home and all I could think about was the glory of NeverLand mornings and the wonderful touch of Pan's hand on my skin.

I looked over, our faces inches apart. "I'm thinking about the sunrises," I whispered as we looked at each other.

Pan smiled. "You know, Henry brought a bunch of pixie dust to life. I have three vials now. He's been good to me... Do you want to really see a NeverLand sunrise?" My eyebrows shot up and he chuckled, standing, offering me his hand. I paused only a second before I took it. He pulled me up, interlacing our fingers. "Hold on tight, okay?" I nodded and he walked, pulling me after him. We walked into the woods, away from the camp. We went for a while until he brought me to a cliff edge that jutted past the trees. I gasped and my eyes went wide. The sunrise blasted over my skin, painting the sky and warming me to my bones with soft, gentle light.

My feet took me forward but Peter laughed, the hand of his that wasn't holding mine wrapping around my waist, pulling me back into his chest. "It's beautiful," I whispered, dazed.

His breath fanned over my skin as he spoke. "Yes, but don't walk off the edge of the cliff, Love." He chuckled, swaying just ever so slightly, making me grin. "Not without this." He let go of my hand, still keeping his arm around my waist, holding up a vial of green, glowing dust.

Surprised, I turned to him. His arm was still around me and we were incredibly close. "You don't have to use that one me," I insisted. "I know there isn't a lot."

He rolled his eyes, grinning. "Thanks for the sentiment, Darling, but Peter Pan doesn't ever have to do anything. I only do things I want to do." He popped the lid and sprinkled us and I was stunned by this new side of him I'd never seen before. He leaned close, tucking the empty vile in my pocket. "Think happy thoughts."

At first my mind went blank. I did not have many happy memories but even the happy ones weren't very strong... But then I thought of Peter's hand on my arm. His breath against my skin. The sunrises and the cool mornings and the comfortable cots and the fun light of the bonfires and the wonders and beauties of NeverLand I had come to love. And Peter, who gave me something I adored but was terrified to accept. My eyes opened and I looked at him. Wind pulled at my clothes and hair, enough to move them each just a bit. His arms went around my waist, holding me against him securely, and my hands snaked up his chest to interlace behind his neck. I looked up at him and he smiled. "Are we going to fly?" I asked quietly, lost in the green of his eyes.

Peter grinned even wider, nodding to the side. I looked around and gasped, pressing even tighter into him as I realized we were already in the air. We were flying! He chuckled. "Don't worry, I've got you. I've got you." He tugged my waist. "But look, Love. Look at NeverLand in the morning sunlight." I looked over to see the pink and purple and yellow sky sink into the browns and greens of the forrest below. I gasped agains, this time awestruck at the beauty of it.

"It's beautiful," I whispered. "Peter, it's glorious." I looked back at him and he looked at me, eyes soft and wide and a small, startled smile on his face. I felt my face get warmer than it was just with the sunlight. "What?"

His hand rose to touch my face. "You're blushing. And you called me..." He tilted his head.

My eyebrows came together and I frowned. "Do you not like me calling you Peter?"

He chuckled softly and it was strange to see such a quiet side to the boy. "No, I like it. I've just never thought I'd hear it before. You get used to be called Pan when that's what every living person calls you, you know? It feels more... personal. Intimate."

That took me off guard. My eyes searched his. "You like to be intimate with me?" I barely got out. Pan grinned and leaned close, pressing his lips to my forehead. Surrounded by light and a brilliant view, in the arms of a boy who could hold me right, feeling his lips on my skin, I was at complete peace.

"Come," he said quietly as he leaned back. "Let's fly." He pushed us apart, still holding my hand. He showed me the feeling of flying through the air, fingers grazing the clouds and wind blowing wonderfully through my hair and against my face. I whooped and he laughed. There came a point where we let go of each others' hands, racing through the sky and spinning around each other and loopty looping like crazy.

Eventually he nodded to the ground and we both dove, twisting our bodies at the last second to land on our feet on the same ledge we stood at before. "It'll last the next day or two," he told me. "You can fly now. But beware. It will eventually run out. So save it as long as you can." I smiled, remembering how the Boys had captured me when Henry and I first came here and I watched Pan and Henry fly away into the sky, neither of us yet knowing it was Pan. I nodded and he took my hand, pulling me after him again as he went back to the camp.

My hair was a bit wild and I dropped his hand to fix it. My face was wind whipped, red and flustered, but my grin was wide and my eyes were alive with light and color. The two of us entered the camp to see the Boys look over at us, smirking and smiling at our appearance and the obvious change between us. Peter nudged me and I stumbled, laughing. The Boys had obviously not seen much of this side to him as I hadn't because they all seemed pleasantly surprised. Henry, on the there hand, was fuming.

"Where have you been?" My younger brother demanded, hands on his hips. "I've been worried sick."

I rolled me eyes. "Gee, thanks mom," I sassed. Peter covered a smile, trying not to piss off Henry any further. "Come on, Ree," I half whined. "Can't you be happy to see me happy? I'm safe and fine and you knew I was with P- Pan." I stumbled over his name, not wanting to call him Peter in front of others. Peter was right, it was more of an intimate thing.

Henry huffed. "You realize you're more of a Lost Boy than I am, right?" he demanded.

My shoulders popped up in a shrug. "So?"

For a moment Henry seemed genuinely horrified. "We're going home at some point, remember? We're leaving NeverLand. Our mom is coming for us."

Anger flared inside of me. "NO!" I seethed. "Your mom is coming for you. Your moms are coming. They don't care about me, Henry. You don't get it! Regina hasn't cared about me for years! She feels obligated to me!" I shoved him and he stumbled back. "YOU are the chosen one. YOU are the one they love and care about. I'm a BURDEN. So go do your true believing somewhere else because even if by some miracle they DO find us, they won't be looking for US, they'll be looking for YOU!" I shoved him at the last word, so hard he fell on his butt. Roots pushed through the ground grabbing at his hands and feet and the boy screamed. My eyes went wide and there was a jerk in my stomach and the roots went limp. Henry looked up at me, eyes wide. I immediately regretted the bout of aggression I'd shown the younger brother I'd treasured forever. My best friend. The only real friend who'd always stuck by me. I looked at my hands a second as purple smoke curled off of them ever so briefly before it dissipated.

Henry was breathing rapidly. "Your... your hands."

I looked up at Peter for comfort but what I saw instead made me curl into myself. There was a cruel glint in his eyes, a hungry smile on his face. This, my brain told me. This is why he wanted you. Nothing else.

Choking back my tears as my magical morning shattered, I clenched my fists and turned, booking it the opposite direction. I was into the woods before anyone could stop me, Henry calling my name desperately.

-

Eventually Pan found me again. Pan. I refused to call him Peter after I was reminded that he was evil. Bad. Bad Peter Pan. As evil as my mother.

As evil as you could be... If only you would let it flow.

No, I chided the voice in my brain. I'm not evil and I never will be. I had to stay nice and friendly and good. The only person I had left was Henry, and he was good. He was good and so was I. Henry told me that it was dangerous to encourage and play with my magical abilities that I had, so I hadn't even thought about it - even before we knew there was no magic in Storybrooke. But now, on NeverLand, my magic seemed to be wanting out. It had been caged up so long inside of me that once I'd accidentally let it out, it was so much more demanding and harder to control, like a living thing clawing its way to freedom.

Every night I'd go back to the ledge where Pan and I made the happiest memory I had in my banks, finding comfort in it as if it was a dream and not a memory. A story I'd simply imagined. There, under the protection of the moon and stars, hidden from the sun, able to lie to myself that the whole Peter ordeal HAD been just a figment of my imagination, I could use my magic. I didn't fly so I didn't run out of dust. I just sat and did little things. Made roots grow and wrap around my hands. Make the dirt swirl up in the mind, creating a little tornado. It was all harmless things but I found myself only at peace there, by myself under the night sky, close to the happy memory but distanced enough that it didn't consume me, purple misty magic rolling off of my fingers.

Really, it was only a matter of time before Pan found me.

Lost in the purple vibrance agains the green foliage, I didn't even notice him until he spoke. "You've gotten good at the magic thing." I looked over slowly, my eyes cold and my face hard. He'd come to me later that day, the friendly softness from that morning back on his face. But I'd called out the expression on his face I'd seen before and accused him of only taking me here because of my magical abilities. He'd seemed genuinely offended, pointing out the he didn't need anyone else's abilities. I'd demand to know why then. Why he'd taken me. He'd insisted that it was because this was the Island of the Lost. NeverLand housed those people who were broken and scattered and needed a place to be free without the weight of the world they were in when they felt the crushing pain that broke them in the first place. He'd told me I was just as much of a Lost Boy as the other Boys were. That I belonged here. I was here because this was my real home. Henry was here because Pan had a purpose for him. Because Henry needed to save that home. That was the only reason Henry was here. Then he'd left as I'd refused to speak and the two of us had kept our distance ever since.

Now he was here and he was quiet and soft again and we were alone. But I was colder too. I was harder and grumpier, because for quite a few moments I'd allowed myself to believe that Pan could like me as I'd grown to like him - though I wouldn't admit it out loud - and it had broken a part of me to see him look at me like that. I had a distinct feeling he was still hiding something from me. He couldn't really, properly explain why he'd given me that hungry, twisted look and I was on edge because of it.

My eyes trailed back to my hands and he sighed. "Are you going to ignore me forever now?" Pan asked, crouching next to me. I stayed quiet. His hand rose, his pointer finger caressing my cheek. The first time he'd ever done that I'd jerked away and he hadn't since. Now I stayed still, a girl fallen hard for the boy touching her, scowling because she hated herself for feeling as she did. "And yet you don't flinch away from me," he whispered. "You don't hate me."

My eyes narrowed even more into a deeper glare. "I should hate you," I insisted.

"But you don't," he pointed out again. I looked up at him and realized instantly that had been a mistake. We were less than inches apart, staring each other down. My eyes were hard but his were soft. A green bed of leaves waiting for me to fall into them and lay down in their warmth. My eyes were dark and cold and the two gazes contrasted making a tornado of tension between us. "You don't hate me," he whispered, his thumb brushing my jaw.

Repulsed at myself, I couldn't argue. "I wish I did," I spat instead. He smiled, his expression growing a little more like the smug, evil thing I knew him to be. This expression wasn't one of an evil boy, though. It was one of a confident, sexy boy who knew he had the girl he liked wrapped around his finger and was quite enjoying it. Except, he didn't like me. He couldn't. I had to go home so he couldn't like me. We sat there like that for a very long time until my gaze softened and he won. His smile widened and he stood, leaving me alone to wallow as he had nothing left to prove. I curled in a ball, staying in the only spot I felt safe. The fact alone that I felt safe in this ledge on Neverland... proved to me enough. Despite all my efforts, I was crazy about Pan. And, as the days passed, I wanted to go back home less and less and less.

-

I rolled over, spinning and twisting my body around the boy I was fighting so that he collapsed, me on top so he softened my land. I pushed myself up and twisted his arm. He screamed in pain and I immediately felt a surge of power. Exhilaration burned in me and in that second I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to hear the satisfying sound of his bone breaking under my fingers. And I smiled...

"Y/N!" Someone screamed. I looked up to see everyone watching us. The Lost Boys looked at me with begrudging but genuine, serious respect. They looked at me like they looked at Pan. Henry looked at me with horror. Pan looked at me with a smile, an eyebrow rising. His smirk said it all: he was impressed.

Having won enough, I stood. I didn't feel sorry. I felt GOOD. I looked at Henry. "I'm sorry, Henry." My younger brother looked back at me, unsure if he wanted to stop me or join me. He may be on the edge of the precipice, deciding if he truly wanted to jump, but I'd already launched myself over the edge, flying through the air and whooping and hollering. Pan offered me his hand and I took it without hesitation.

He guided me away, looking at me with an expression I couldn't quite read. "Very, very impressive," Pan mumbled.

My smirk grew and I rose an eyebrow of my own. "You haven't seen anything yet."