Chapter 19: New Beginnings

Elijah’s Point of View

My feet kind of just carried me to her. The soft firefly glow of her hair, the freckles that dotted her face, the teeny perfect nose that I peppered kisses on—my first love. This was my Rachel, the one I haven’t seen in years. She was standing here, in front of me.

“Rachel,” I whispered, hoping she would respond back so I knew she wasn’t just a cruel illusion that my mind created.

“Eli, it’s been a while,” she murmured softly, tenderly.

‘Yeah’ was all I could respond with. I was just too shocked to articulate a normal conversation. But could you blame me? What was she doing here? She hasn’t visited in years, but when I finally get a glimpse of moving on, she shows up.

Her eyes flickered to the grass. “I’ve really missed you, you know.”

“Me too.”

“Still not good with words, I see,” she laughed, her grey eyes twinkling.

I shrugged I smiled sheepishly. “I was never into English. You know that.”

She nodded understandingly and then before I knew it, her arms were around me. I wrapped mine around her, breathing in the nostalgia (and vanilla, her signature scent) that came from this moment. But part of it felt new, foreign almost. We had grown when we apart, but it didn’t stop me from enjoying this moment. It was a natural response, hugging her. It was like a part of me was restored.

“I love you, Rachel,” I blurted, my eyes scanning for her reaction.

“I was hoping you were going to say that.” I opened my mouth to ask here what she meant, but was silenced by the fact that she was kissing me. It took me a split second for my brain to respond, my lips seemed to know what I was supposed to do. It was a little more powerful and urgent, but was still as sweet as from when we were younger. “I love you, too. So who was that girl you were with?”

Oh crap. Crap, crap, crap. Ashlyn was still my girlfriend, which meant she probably saw the encounter between Rachel and me. It’s not like I wanted to cheat on Ashlyn, but it was Rachel. I didn’t mean to. If I had known Rachel would be back, I would’ve never led her on.

I whipped around, expecting to see a cross, and maybe hurt Ashlyn, but saw nothing but the remnants of the picnic, the bear, and what used to be. What was I supposed to say to Rachel? That Ashlyn was my girlfriend and I loved her as well? It wasn’t as strong as the love I had for Rachel, but she might think differently. Do I lie to her? I didn’t want to risk losing her again. Fate gave me a second chance for a reason. I wasn’t going to blow it.

“Hm, maybe she left,” she frowned, but didn’t seem too upset about it. She looped her arm through mine and started walking towards the park exit. “Your house is this way, right?”

I nodded, forgetting about the picnic basket. I was just too excited to bring Rachel home to Mom. She would be ecstatic when she found out. She didn’t say it out loud, but I knew she missed Rachel as much as me. She was practically part of our family.

“Mom,” I called, closing the door behind Rachel. “I brought a visitor.”

I heard footsteps coming from the kitchen. “Is it Ashlyn? I made cookies, dear—Rachel? Is that you?”

Rachel smiled warmly, ready to endure my mother’s hugs. “Hi Marsha.”

I think Mom was going to be in tears. “Honey, you look wonderful.” She pulled Rachel back to get a good look at her and then pulled her in for another embrace. “It’s been so long. How are you, baby?”

“I’m doing great.”

“Why haven’t you come and visited us? We missed you.”

Rachel sighed and smiled weakly. “I’ve just been so busy with my internship and school. California is so hectic!”

Mom nodded sadly. “I’m sure it is.”

“I got a break and decided to visit my boyfriend and his wonderful family.”

“You two go up to Eli’s room and I’ll bring you some snacks. Does that sound okay? You still like snickerdoodles, right?”

Rachel nodded. “Only yours.”

She beamed and scurried off to the kitchen. I led her up the stairs and into my room. She peered around a bit, picking up certain objects and reminiscing. I couldn’t wait to ask her the question that’s been creeping in the back of the mind ever since she showed up.

“What are you doing here, Rachel?”

She seemed a bit startled and taken back, but recovered. “Didn’t you hear me when I told your mom? I wanted to come back and visit my boyfriend. It’s been so long.”

“Rachel, we’re not dating.”

“We are!” she insisted.

“Rachel, you dated the son of the CEO.”

She waved her hand dismissively. “It’s not like it meant anything. I always figured that you and I would end up together. I just wanted to get a little more experience.”

“I’ve dated other girls, Rach.”

She shrugged. “I figured. I mean, you’re a handsome devil.”

She always did know how to make me blush. I looked out the window, not wanting to make eye contact when I told her something she probably didn’t want to hear. “I’m in a relationship, Rachel.”

“With me, I know, silly!”

“No…with that girl in the park.”

Her face fell. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am. What’s the problem?”

“Well it’s just that, we both love each other, so I kind of assumed that we would be together now, you know what I mean?”

“Well I kind of have to break it off with her first.”

“So then what are you waiting for?”

' What was I waiting for? For her to break it off first so I didn’t have to be the bad guy? That wasn’t going to happen. She loved me. She was also pretty competitive, so she would want to win this battle or whatever. I didn’t know how I was going to let Ashlyn go. It was going to be difficult.

***

I angrily tossed my phone onto the bed, wincing as I heard it clatter to the floor. Why did she have to be so difficult to get a hold of her? Why couldn’t she just pick up her stupid phone or text me back? I even took the time and went to go speak to her, and she didn’t even have the decency to answer the door.

“Are you okay, Eli-bear?” Rachel asked, drying off her lion mane with a soft pink towel.

I fake smiled. “I am now.”

“You’re sweet.”

“So what happened to Mr. Big Shot CEO?”

“He wasn’t you. Why’d you leave me, Eli.”

“I—I don’t know. I didn’t leave you. I left California. I couldn’t take it over there anymore.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me? I’ve been over there thinking that I did something wrong. I thought you didn’t love me anymore.”

“I’ll always love you, Rach.” But I wasn’t sure anymore. I know we both changed, but there was something different about her.

“Good, because you’re mine.”

That’s it, she seemed clingier, more possessive. I don’t know if it was because we’ve been apart for so long, but it was kind of getting a bit annoying. Whenever we were out in public and a girl so much as I looked at me, she would grab my hand and start making out with me. I didn’t mind at first, but then it just got a little old.

And then it occurred to me.

It wasn’t Rachel that changed. It was me. And my older self just didn’t want Rachel as much as it did my gullible, clumsy, and afraid of heights summer fling. I missed how much she would stuff her face with food, insult and beat the living daylights out of me. I missed the way that she smelled like a…a really good smell. I missed my Cheeto-loving player-of-an-ex-girlfriend.

I missed Ashlyn.

I needed to get her back. I was going to do what I should’ve done all those years ago with Rachel—I had to get her back. I couldn’t let her be the one that got away. I was going to be that guy that she wanted, the one who chased after her. And I wouldn’t take no for an answer. I knew it would take a lot of hard work to do the impossible, but she was worth it.

We were worth it.

Ashlyn’s Point of View

“What is he doing here?” I hissed, jerking my thumb towards the passenger in the back seat.

Olivia smiled innocently. “He wanted to come along and the girls couldn’t.”

“You could’ve said no!”

“I wanted company. The ride from NY to Jangles is long and lonely.”

“Oh God, you two didn’t…”

“Oh my gosh! No, not at all! Ew, why would you even think that? He’s like off limits.”

I shrugged. “It didn’t stop Allie.”

“Stop sulking and get into the car. It’s not like I’m making you two share a bed or anything.”

I sighed and slid into the passenger seat. Should I say ‘hi’ to him or wait for him to say it to me? Were we just going to be strangers and sit through this entire ride quietly and awkwardly?

“Hey Ashlyn,” he said, smiling.

“Hey Liam,” I said, finding myself returning the smile.

“How have you been?”

I took a deep breath, looking him in the eye. “Honestly, not that well. I just got my heart broken again.”

A look of guilt crossed his face. “I’m really sorry, Ashlyn. If I could just take it back—”

“But you can’t,” I interrupted sadly. “It’s okay, Liam. I’m over that.”

“But I’m not.”

“Sure you aren’t.”

Olivia opened the car door before he could respond. “Ready to go home, Ashlyn?” she chirped, buckling her seat belt.

I nodded and waved to my brother and Cayden, who were waiting by the curb. Olivia hit the accelerator and we soon tore through lots of road.

“You think we should stop and find a hotel?” Olivia yawned. “I’m tired.”

I wanted to get home as soon as possible, but I guess I couldn’t force her to drive. Besides, I didn’t want to see tired Olivia behind a wheel. I didn’t want her operating anything when she was the least bit drowsy.

“I’ll drive,” Liam volunteered. “You can sleep in the backseat.”

She pulled onto the shoulder and they switched spots. “Thanks Liam,” she smacked, cozying and making herself a makeshift bed.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Soon enough, we could hear her light snores floating throughout the car. “Thanks, really,” I said softly, playing with the zipper on my jacket.

He shrugged. “I know how much you really want to go home.”

“And how would you know that.”

“Because we dated for like ever.”

I chuckled quietly. “I guess you would get to know me.”

“Yeah…I miss you. Ashlyn.”

“You missed me?”

He glanced over at me. “Yeah, I miss you, Ashlyn. I still love you.”

“You never loved me.”

“I’ve always loved you.”

“You’re such a liar! Even have to we break up you still pull this stunt. You say that you love me, but you don’t show it.”

Even through my yelling, Olivia still managed to stay asleep and Liam was still calm. “I’ll do anything to prove it. I’ll do anything to get you back.”

“I don’t want a relationship right now.”

“Fine, then friends. I can wait.”

“I don’t know how long you’ll have to wait.”

“I’ll wait forever.”

I sighed. He wasn’t going to give up. “Friends, but you know I can’t date you, right?”

“Why not?”

“Because Allie’s my friend, and more importantly, your ex.”

“She was a mistake.”

“You were a mistake.”

“I was your best mistake.”

I thought back to when I fell onto Eli. That was my best mistake. I shook my head. “You weren’t. He was.”

The blood drained from his face. “He doesn’t deserve you.”

“You don’t deserve me.”

“I know, but I need you. I thought since Allie was like you, that she would fill this void that I’ve been trying to fill, but I can’t, because you never moved out. It’ll be yours until the day I die.”

I think I’m a sucker for stuff like that, because I took him back. He seemed changed and willing to prove himself to me, why not give him a second chance? And to be honest, that was one of the only ways I could think of to get over Eli. He seemed to be making an effort, and I was proud. This was the Liam I fell for.

***

Only Liam and Olivia knew that we were back together. I didn’t want to tell anyone else, for fear of being judged for dating a friend’s ex, even though he was mine first.

“Grilled cheese? Liam yelled from the kitchen.

He was cooking me lunch, something he’s not used to doing for people. “Sounds good.”

I was lying on the couch, flipping through channels, hoping that there was something the least bit interesting on. Jersey Shore, the news, Nickelodeon, Disney Channel…

Disney.

Eli.

I mentally scolded myself. Stop thinking about him, he’s not thinking about you. Why was I so pathetic? I should’ve been over it last week. I needed to be strong. I had a hot boyfriend, my first love. He had his. It should be a win-win situation.

Olivia walked into the room and plopped down next to me. “Make me one, Liam.”

“Sure.”

“Hey Ash, anything good on? And I swear if you say Ugly Betty I will shoot you.”

I laughed. “Nope, all crap.”

She sighed and hugged me. “Still missing him, huh?”

“Yup.”

“It’ll get better soon, I promise.”

“Doubt it.”

“Way to be optimistic.”

“I’m not really in an optimistic mood right now. I’m dating my friend and my ex, and I’m missing my most recent ex. I’m not really having a good love life here.”

“Sorry?” she offered.

“It’s not your fault I’m a screw up.”

The doorbell rang. “I’ll answer it,” she said, getting up.

“Well I’m not going to answer it,” I mumbled, slumping into the couch and turning the TV off. I’d decided to take a nap after lunch.

“Ashlyn, it’s for you.”

I sighed, silently cursing the person that was making me get up. I just wanted to be lazy today. I got off my lazy butt, about to yell at the person to go away and leave me alone, that is, until I saw who it was.

He had russet curls, green eyes, and was pretty much in the same state as we met.

Eli.

Eli was here, in New York, in front of me.

Olivia retreated, giving us a little privacy. “What are you doing here?” I hissed.

“I came to apologize.”

“Apology accepted, now bye.”

He caught the door before I shut it. Sneaky, sneaky. “Not so fast, just hear me out, okay?”

“Whatever, fine. Just hurry, my lunch is getting cold.”

“I’ll always love Rachel; she has a special place in my heart.”

“Okay, I don’t need to hear this right now. If this is your big apology, then you can just leave.”

“Would you shut up and let me finish?” My mouth snapped shut. “I guess I’ll just skip to the part that you’ll want to hear.”

“That’d be nice.”

“You’re the reason why I smile again; genuinely smile. You’re the reason why I’m not with Rachel right now. You’re the reason why I love again. As cheesy as it may sound, you’re the reason why I’m me.”

“Is that all?”

“Well yeah, I guess so.”

“Alright, well I forgive you. Have a nice trip back to Florida. Good luck with your classes.”

“Wait, you’re not going to take me back?”

“I’m with Liam now.”

“You’re not happy with him.”

“I am.”

“You’d be happier if you were with me.”

How true that is. “You were nothing but a fling to me.”

“Liar.”

“Then I’m just going to stay on this doorstep until I get you back.”

“You’ll be standing on that doorstep for a pretty long time then.”

He crossed his arms. “I’ll wait, but don’t tell me you’re happy.”

“You’re putting a damper on my mood.”

“I don’t believe you,” he challenged.

That was just like Eli, but I wasn’t going to fall back into his trap. I knew that he still loved Rachel, he admitted it himself. “Just leave, Eli. It’s what’s best for both of us. Go back to Rachel, I’ll stay with Liam; everyone’s happy.”

“Except for me and you, but we could be happy. Together.”

“How many times do I have to tell you? I’m happy with Liam.”

“What’d you say, babe?” Liam piped, appearing out of nowhere and wrapping his arms around me.

I snuggled closer to him, smiling sweetly and gazing lovingly up to him. “Just telling Elijah how happy we are.”

“I love this girl, man. I can’t believe you would give her up.”

“Right back at you, and I didn’t give her up.”

Liam shrugged and pecked my cheek. “She’s mine now anyways.”

I looked at him pointedly. “Told you, now go.”

“Fine, you can shut this door, but I’m still going to be out here when you open it.”

So I did what he said and shut the door. Liam didn’t seem to think anything weird. Olivia came bouncing in, a big smile stretched across her face. She froze when she saw me and Liam. “Why aren’t you with Eli?” she asked, disregarding Liam.

“Because I have a boyfriend?”

She shook her head, pried me away from Liam’s grip, and dragged me to her room. “Sit down,” she commanded.

“That’s not really necessary, Liv.”

“Just do it.” I was apparently too slow, so she pushed me down. Then she slapped me. “What is wrong with you?! You love him. He loves you. You don’t love Liam, not as much anyway. Don’t let Eli go for Liam our of spite or pride. And before you say that you didn’t, I know you. You let those kind of things rule your life, but when it comes to love, pride doesn’t exist. In twenty years or so, you’ll regret your decision when you’re living alone with twenty thousand cats or feeding Liam and his poker buddies.”

“I don’t like cats.”

“Just shut up and let me finish my speech.” Shutting up. “This is true, real love we’re talking about. He’ll move on, you’ll move on, but then you’ll forget about the greatest love that you’re ever going to feel or have. Go to him, Ash. Go.” She pushed me gently with an encouraging smile blossoming on her face.

That was cheesy, but still inspirational. Olivia was right, she was always right. Liam must’ve overheard our conversation because when I went back out, he was gone. I just hoped Eli would still be the stubborn person he is and be waiting when I opened the door. I swung the door open, and sure enough, Eli was sitting on the doorstep, his chin nestled on his fist. He jumped a bit, but his face softened once he saw that it was me. “Ashlyn, you opened the door.”

“That’s how you usually get out of places.”

How fast his expression fell. “Oh, I see.” He scotched over enough to let me walk down the steps.

I sat down beside him. “We need to talk.”

It was silent after that, neither of us wanting to break the barrier of silence that was separating us from total breakdown. “I miss you,” Eli murmured.

“I’ve missed you, too.”

“You have?”

“Yes, you stupid idiot. I told you I loved you. I’m not just going to forget about you overnight.”

“I went to your brother’s house, but you weren’t there. I called you, but you didn’t pick up. Why didn’t you answer?”

“I just couldn’t take the hurt anymore. I knew you were going to choose her over me. I wanted to lessen the pain a bit.”

“Hey, smile. It looks good on you. Well, anything looks good on you…”

“Suck up.”

“But you love it anyway?”

“Yeah, I suppose I do.”

“So what do you say Ashlyn, Cutie. Will you me my Minnie?

“Is this the part where I say something cheesy in return?”

“Yeah, but you kind of ruined my moment.”

I sighed. “As long as you’ll be my Mickey.”

“Yup, totally ruined it.”

I pushed him. “Shut up.”

“Feisty, I like it.”

I groaned. “You’re impossible.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Oh, and by the way, I’m Team Ashlyn.”

Well, that's it. That's Jangles. Thanks for being so supportive. You guys are truly the best. :)