Jack's POV:

I wake up in a hospital bed, but there are no needles in me, so I assume nothing must've been wrong with me. The only thing that consumes my mind is Alex. He needs to be alive, he needs to be.

"You're awake," a nurse says. "You've only been out for an hour. It seems you've gone unconscious due to extreme stress."

"Alex," I croak out. "Is he okay?"

"Hmm, Gaskarth?"

"Yes," I whisper, desperate.

"What is your relationship with him?"

"I'm his husband." He'd kept his last name, and I'd kept mine. Therefore, it wasn't obvious we were married unless we said so.

She sighs, averting her gaze. "He's alive, but there's a slim chance he'll pull through. Would you like to visit him?"

"Please," I request. She gives me the warmest smile she can muster, but I see right through it. I follow her down the narrow hallways before she stops in front of a door.

"For the record, I hope he's okay. Stay strong," she mumbles before walking back down the hallway. I sigh before opening the door, closing it behind me.

I see Alex, my poor, selfless Alex, lying there, paler than I've ever seen him. The life looked as if it had been sucked from him already. The are numerous machines attached to him, trying to keep his organs working. His body is covered in bandages. His eyes are shut, not flickering with sleep at all. If it weren't for the shaky rise and fall of his chest, it would seem he was dead.

I rush to his side, collapsing beside the bed. I grasp onto his cold hand, letting sobs wrack my body. He saved my life and almost lost his in the process. He's a fighter, so I know he'll pull through. He has to. I'll never be able to live with the guilt if he died.

"I'm so sorry, baby," I cry, squeezing his hand. "That should be me lying there. That should be me who almost lost my life protecting you. That should be me connected to all those machines. I should've gotten hit by the car, not you. You don't deserve this," I choke out before sobbing again.

"Come back to me, please. I need you. I love you so much. Why didn't I say that more? Just two hours ago we were on that hill together, my head in your lap as you sang to me. You have the most angelic voice. Wake up, baby, I need you," I whisper, playing with the ring on his finger that I'd put there just two years ago on our wedding day.

Moments later, the annoying beeping of the heart monitor turns into a flat tone, echoing throughout the room. I look up to see the little green line had flattened out completely. Alex's chest had stopped moving, leaving him lifeless. Doctors rush into the room, pulling me from his side.

"No!" I scream at the top of my lungs. "Alex! Wake up! You can't die! Wake up! Alex! Alex, no!" He doesn't move, and the doctors don't stop pushing me out of the room. The door closes, leaving me alone in the hallway. I angrily find my way to the waiting room, unable to sit down. I pace the floor, running my hands through my hair. They can save him, right? They're paid to save lives.

"Mr. Barakat?" a male voice asks from behind me after fifteen minutes.

"Yes?" I croak out, my eyes pleading for good news.

"I'm so sorry, but we're afraid Alex didn't make it," he says professionally.

"What? Are you sure?" I demand, refusing to believe he was gone.

"I'm afraid so," he states, walking back down the hallway. I'm left standing there, desperately trying to wrap my mind around what had just happened. This can't be happening!

I rush outside, not relishing the feeling of the cold air on my skin. I can barely feel it. I take out my phone, shakily dialing Zack's number. After a few rings, he picks up.

"Hey, what's up?" he asks.

"Can you pick me up?" I ask shakily.

"Woah, what happened?"

"Alex, hospital, car accident...," I stutter out, unable to form a full sentence. Saying it out loud made it feel too real.

"I'm on my way," Zack says, hanging up. I sit on the cement wall near the entrance, my entire body numb. This can't be actually happening. I'm going to wake up and this will all be a dream. I'll wake up to Alex sleeping, his arms tight around me even in his subconscious state. I'll wake up shaking with sobs, accidentally waking him in the process. He'll pull me tight against him and whisper sweet nothings into my ear until I'm okay again, and he'll kiss me and assure me he was right there.

This is just a nightmare, nothing more.

I see Zack's car pull into a parking spot before he jumps out, rushing toward me. "What happened? A car accident? Is Alex okay?" he asks, rapid-fire.

"A-Alex, he's...," I trail off. I can't say it because that will make it real.

"What? Is he alive?" Zack pushes, concerned.

"He d-didn't make it," I say all at once, clamping a hand over my mouth as if to shove the words back.

"Oh my god," Zack gasps, picking up my weak body. He carries me to his passenger seat, placing me down before walking around the vehicle to slide into the driver's seat. He starts the car, pulling onto the road. "You're staying at my place. I'm not going to let you be alone." I nod, afraid to open my mouth. I feel tears threaten to spill down my cheeks for the first time since I've heard the news.

We pull to the front of his house, Zack hastily going to the passenger seat to help my weak body to the door. I shrug his arm off my shoulders as he unlocks the door, my gaze not moving from my feet. It sinks in that this is actually happening. This isn't just some dream I'll get to move on from.

We barely step through the threshold before I collapse, a shaking, crying mess. Zack quickly closes the door and kneels beside me, pulling me into his arms. I clutch to his shirt, crying so hard that no sound comes out and I struggle to get breath into my lungs. He cries too, which makes sense. Alex was one of this best friends.

"He's actually gone," he cries.

"I can't d-do this. I-I can't live without h-him," I stutter out breathily. Zack doesn't reply, but I don't expect him to. We're two best friends, grieving over the loss of a beam of light in our lives that had abruptly faded into the darkness.

It's a total of thirty minutes we sit there, our sobs subsiding into sniffles. Zack eventually stands up, letting me know he was going to bed. I weakly nod, watching him retreat down the hallway.

"Hey, Alex," I whisper into the empty air. "Can you hear me? What's it like to be dead? Do you feel free? I certainly don't," I say, chuckling half-heartedly. "Why did you have to save me? Why couldn't it have been me, not you? What am I supposed to do without you?"

A sob rises in my throat as a fresh set of tears form in my eyes. "This all happened so fast. I hope the pain is gone, baby. I hope you're smiling right now. I won't forget you, Alex. I love you with everything I have."

I'll never get to hold his hand, kiss him goodnight, cuddle up with him, tell him I love him, or hear is voice ever again in my life.

I think that's what hurts the most.