So. I was listening to Atl's cover of True Colors, plus my heart has a ton of emotions at the moment, so it resulted in this sappy oneshot. Enjoy.

Jack's POV: **TRIGGER WARNING**

The most frustrating feeling in the world is feeling distance develop between you and the one you care about most, but you've tried everything with no success to fix things.

Alex and I have been dating for almost a year. We graduate high school fairly soon, so that means we'll be able to move in together. That is, if we don't break up before then. I know it's extremely unhealthy to think about that, but, lately, it had been the only thing on my mind.

He and I would spend extensive time together, but now, we barely see each other in the halls at school. He shut himself off. At first, I thought something was wrong, but now, I'm convinced he just lost feelings for me. In all honesty, it might be best if we just break up.

I grab my keys and walk into the crisp Saturday night air, getting into my car. I pull out of my driveway, deciding to go see Alex. He barely responds to texts, anyway. We have a lot to talk about, and it would be better done in person. I love him so much, and I don't want to end things with him unless I need to.

I park on the side of the road, approaching his front door. His parents usually go out on Saturday nights, so I can easily slip into the house using the key under the doormat. I enter the silent house, wondering if he was still awake. I close the door behind me, tip-toeing up the staircase that I used to walk up and down on a near-daily basis. I don't knock before opening his bedroom door.

I'm not sure if I wish I would've knocked or not because nothing could have prepared me for what I saw next.

Alex, my Alex, was sitting against his wall in the very dimly lit room, knees brought up to his chest, body shaking, head down, eyes squeezed shut. He was breathing as fast as someone who had just sprinted. On his face, I could see teardrops shine on his cheeks.

That's not the only thing that shone in the limited light.

There's something shiny in his hand.

I don't have to think twice to know what it is.

I rush over to him, taking the small object from his hand and throwing it all the way across the room, hearing it hit the wall and fall to the ground. He snaps his head up, looking at me with the widest, most petrified pair of eyes I've ever seen. I take his hand in mine, turning it over to look at his wrist. As I'd expected, blood is still seeping from the wounds.

In my panicked state, I rush to the bathroom and grab toilet paper, running back and pressing it against the wounds gently. He hisses in pain, but I need to stop the bleeding.

How had I not noticed? In hindsight, I remember him wearing long sleeves on a daily basis, the smile that no longer had the same livelihood behind it, and the way he averted his eyes to avoid eye contact. Why didn't I piece it all together?

"Why didn't you tell me?" I blurt out, my voice barely a whisper.

"I couldn't," he cries, still shaking. I keep one hand pressed to his wrist while I wrap my other arm around him in an awkward hug, rubbing his back in hopes it would calm him. "I wanted to, but I just couldn't get myself to do it. I thought you'd hate me. You probably do hate me, and I don't blame you for breaking up with me over this. Who would want to stay with a fuck-up like me, anyway?"

"Alex, stop," I say sternly, not being able to hear any more of his nonsense. "Do you really think that I'm going to leave you over this?" He locks his watery eyes on mine, nodding ever so slightly. "You couldn't be any more wrong. Alex, I'd travel through Hell and back as many times as it took if it meant I could be with you."

"But, I'm so fucked up," he sobs.

"The fact that you're self-harming hurts, of course, because the person I love more than anything has been suffering for months all alone. That doesn't mean I love you any less, okay? You have me. I don't care if you think it's stupid, or that I'll leave you because of it. You're wrong, and I'm right here."

"Do you promise?" he whispers, his voice so broken that I feel my heart shatter a little.

"I swear on everything, Lex. I love you so much. Life isn't all sunshine and roses, it can be complete shit sometimes. I want you in my life; I want you there for the times it is sunshine and roses and the times when it's absolute shit. I so badly want to do the same for you." I remove the toilet paper from his wrist, snaking my arm around his waist and pulling him to his feet. He leans against me, and I turn my head to place a quick kiss on his tear-stained cheek. I lead us to his bathroom, turning on the sink.

"What are you doing?" Alex asks me.

"We need to rinse out the wounds. We can't let them get infected," I reply, waiting for the water to get warm. "This is gonna sting, okay?" He nods, so I gently guide his forearm under the steady stream of water. He flinches, but that is to be expected. Slowly and extremely softly, I glide my thumb over the cuts, rinsing them of the blood that was drying there. When I'm done, I turn off the tap and pat a towel repeatedly on the sensitive skin, as rubbing the skin would just hurt him.

"Why are you doing all this?" Alex questions.

"Because I love you more than anything else on this damn planet," I reply, finishing drying his wrist. I look into his eyes, seeing tears welling there. "What's wrong, Lex?" I ask softly.

"I don't deserve you," he whispers.

"Don't ever say that. Of course you deserve me. Everyone deserves someone who cares as much as I do. Everyone deserves someone who's going to stay through every high and low. Everyone deserves someone who assures them that they're never, ever alone in the harshness of life."

Alex's hands move to grab the sides of my shirt, pulling me into a kiss. My hands travel to either side of his face, holding him there. There was nothing needy about it; just two boys in love. They say one kiss is worth one thousand words, and I can assure you it's true.

Alex pulls away, his forehead and nose pressed to mine. "I love you so fucking much, Jacky," he murmurs.

"I love you, too," I reply, just kissing him again. "I was wondering why we were getting distant."

"That's my fault," he says, defeated. "I was scared we were going to break up, and it would be all my fault because I isolated myself. I was just so scared-"

"You don't need to isolate yourself anymore. I'm right here. Don't be afraid, okay? I love you no matter what."

"You've told me you love me like five times in the past twenty minutes."

"Are you complaining?" His eyes widen, and he shakes his head. I chuckle before saying, "I just felt like you should know, I guess." He nods, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and hugging me tightly. I hold him there, one hand around him and the other running through his hair. "Thank you for not pushing me away," I whisper.

"Thank you for staying," he replies.

"Are you tired?" I ask him. He nods into my neck, so I put my hands on the back of his legs and hoist him up, carrying him back to his room while he remains clinging to me like a koala to a branch.

I place him on the side of his bed, pulling my phone out of my pocket as he gets under the covers. I send my mom a text telling her where I am, then place my phone on the wooden nightstand.

"Don't you have to go home?" Alex asks as I climb into bed beside him.

"There's no way I'm leaving you alone tonight," I reply, pulling him against me. He cuddles into my chest, my arm securely around him as our legs intertwine. I missed nights like these.

"Thank you for everything, Jacky," Alex mumbles, his voice saturated with emotion and meaning.

"Anything for you," I murmur in reply, kissing the top of his head. "I love you."

"I love you more."

"I love you most."

"But that's not possible."

"It is now."

"Fine," he says with a sigh. "I do love you, though, so much."

"And I love you just as much," I whisper, squeezing him tightly.

"I promise I won't hide things like this from you anymore."

"Whatever makes you comfortable. I'm right here, no matter what."

"I know, and I should've realized that before."

"That's in the past. We can only move forward from here, okay?"

"Okay."

"Goodnight, Lex."

"Goodnight, Jacky."