Just the thought alone of him ignoring my calls and text messages made me feel to just drown myself in this alcohol. I can't see why he doesn't just answer me so I can profess my love. I feel so incomplete without him right now, and I need to use the bathroom. I smile at Shane as he also downed a small cup of alcohol. "I need to pee, Shane."

"I want to dance," Shane grinned, obviously just as drunk as I am. I giggle softly, "I want to pee, come with me, Shane... please."

"No... I want to dance... dance with me..." he smiled and stood up. I grabbed his hand and pulled him with me towards the bathroom. Much to my surprise, Shane didn't pull his arm away or defy me in anyway. We stumbled towards the bathrooms holding hands, just so we won't fall down and embarrass ourselves. I was so happy the bathrooms were completely empty, and even if they weren't, the guys would have left when we entered.

I begin to giggle, "Shane... I'm peeing..."

After I was finished, I quickly washed my hands. I let out a soft sigh, feeling completely free. I smile and look to Shane, who was already staring at me. I stepped towards him, and when I was close enough, I ran my fingers along his cheek. "W-what are you doing...?" he muttered.

"Do you... do you wanna dance still w-with me?" I drunkenly ask, and giggle right after. I wrap his arms around my waist and mine around his neck, then began to move slowly with him. I hate slow dancing, because I absolutely suck at it. I never actually learned how to do it and I figured since it won't ever be necessary in my life again, I didn't bother to do it.

So, I stopped dancing, and just took his hand. I pulled him out of the bathrooms and back to the bar, where I got us both something to drink. "You're d-drunk... drunk so drunk..." he muttered to me.

I laugh, "You too, idiot. Can we... can we leave?"

"You wanna leave?" he asked me with raised eyebrows and I nodded my head. Without another word, he followed me out of the party area. I completely love being drunk. Well, I hate the stumbling over absolutely nothing and falling for no reason, but it just feels so good. I could put those cons past me, because being drunk is so relieving. I never stopped grinning as we left the building and walked to the road.

Shane took a seat against the wall, on the ground, while I drunkenly tried to stop a taxi. After some moments of unsuccessfulness, I give up and walk back to Shane. From then, he got up to get us a taxi. "Shane..." I call, making him turn around to me, "I like calling your name... Shane... Sha-a-a-ane..." I begin to laugh. He walked towards me and managed to help me up. I smile at that, then looked down. He rose my head with his index finger for me to look back up at him.

As I stared into his eyes, I admired them for a second. I don't think I've ever seen someone with such a beautiful shade of green eyes. It's perfect. I want them. I could stare into his eyes from now until eternity. I notice Shane leaning in, and I subtly move my head away. I shake my head and smiled, "No..."

Thankfully, in that moment, I saw a taxi, and I rushed to stop it. We piled in when it stopped, and I leaned my head back as the taxi began to move. Shane was silent next to me, which I found really weird. I placed my hand on his thigh and looked over at him with a smile.

The taxi stopped and we exited quickly. Shane awkwardly just stared at me and began to stumble around. I laughed softly and grabbed his hand, "You should have a drink. I have drinks."

"Okay..." he says softly. I nod my head to show I approve and walked to enter my building. I decided we should take the elevator, because I feel way too drunk to climb stairs. Plus, the elevator is shorter and I want to drink something. In the elevator, I stepped to him and take his hand. "Your hands are soft... it's like... it's not like Aidan's... he's... his hands aren't soft..." I mutter, then kiss his hand.

The elevator doors opened really quickly for my floor and I begin to smile. I pulled him along to my apartment and quickly close the door behind me. I laugh softly as I push him onto my couch, then walked away to get something to drink.

"What do you want, Shane?" I ask him.

"Honestly?" he replied, "I want you."

I begin to blush insanely, then I walked back towards him, with two drinks in my hand. I began to drink from mine, until it was almost finished. I walked in front of Shane and rest down the drinks. "You want who? Me?"

Shane gulped down his drink before stood up, so we were really close, and looked down on me. Once again, he leaned in to kiss me, but I moved away. "I... I have a boyfriend... I have Aidan..." I mutter. Shane turned my head so I could face him again, and without any hesitation, he kissed me. For a few seconds, I was confused by it, but soon after I found myself wrapping my arms around his neck and lacing my fingers through his hair. He has really good hair.

Shane kissed down my jawline to my neck and a soft moan left my lips as he left hickeys on my skin. I began to smile and my fingers went to unbutton his shirt. He began to kiss my lips once again, as I completely take his shirt off. I returned his hickeys, completely loving the sound of him softly moaning. I pulled away and stared at him, then bite my bottom lip. I grab his hand and turned around, leading him to my bedroom.

"My room's a mess," I laugh softly as we entered. Shane didn't seem to mind as he pushed me onto the bed, just as I did to him earlier on the couch. I smile and stare at him as his pants came off. He climbed on the bed, and hovered over me. He gazed at me for a moment or two, then began to hungrily kiss me. I smile as he began to kiss down my chest and soon unbuttoned my pants.

~

I feel like if I yawn and stretch, my head might hurt even more, which I can't stand right now. I let out a soft sigh and turned on my stomach so I could burry my head in the pillow. I am done with alcohol. I don't want this again, I can't be an alcoholic. I groan softly, trying to remember at least one thing that happened last night. I knew I planned to talk to Aidan – did that even happen?

My thoughts were interrupted, by Aidan calling my name. I smiled, and wished to be happy, but the headache was too much. He called again and I mentally told him to shut up. He obviously didn't get the message, and he called again. I groaned and sat up in bed, "Babe, I-" my sentence was cut short, when I realize, it wasn't Aidan sleeping next to me, but he was actually calling me. My eyes widened after I checked under the covers and found us both nude.

"Josh! Will you get up and answer the door? Or I'm coming in," Aidan says. I bite my bottom lip and quickly rush out of bed. I bundled up the bedsheet to wrap it around my body, then rush to the front door.

I found Aidan looking beautiful as usual, and actually happy. I was sure we had an argument; why is he so happy. He stared at my bedsheet, messily wrapped around me, but ignored it and just kissed my lips. He pulled away almost immediately and stared at me, "Were you drinking?" he asks.

"Uh... yeah... sorry..." I mutter as I close the door. I don't even know what I'm doing right now. I have no plan, and I don't know what to tell Aidan. He can never find out. I will die.

"It doesn't matter, okay. I came out to my dad," he smiled at me. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped, "W-what did he say?"

"Every bad thing he could think of. I think he even disowned me. But honestly, I don't give a fuck. I have you, right?" he stepped closer to me and leaned in to kiss me again. He pulled away and stared at me again, this time I think he realized something, which had my heart beating quickly. Aidan's finger came to my cheek as he slowly moved it to the left, staring at my neck. He slowly stepped away from me with furrowed eyebrows.

"What the fuck is that, Josh?" His eyes then went down to my coffee table, where there were two glasses which obviously once had alcohol in them. He looked back at me again, this time with a more shock than confused look on his face. "Please fucking tell me I'm seeing wrong..." he says mostly to himself. I bite my lip.

Aidan stepped back then turned around to go to the bedroom, and I immediately shouted, "No, don't go in there!" He didn't listen to me obviously and he went into my bedroom, with me following, finding a completely naked Shane, asleep on my bed. "You aren't fucking serious," Aidan cursed and quickly made his way to Shane. He picked him up by his neck and slammed him against the wall as though he was nothing. Shane was awake by now, and all I could see was fear in his eyes. Aidan punched Shane in the face and my jaw dropped. I felt immobile for a second, but soon got over it.

"Oh, my God, Aidan, please stop!" I shout and run behind him to hold back his arm before he threw another one. Aidan threw me off him in a matter of seconds and he punched Shane once more. "Don't ever fucking touch him again, asshole!" he threatened.

"Please, Aidan, stop it, please!" I begin again, watching as Aidan abuse Shane's face. I tried to hold back his arm once more, "Aidan, please. Don't do this, okay, please. Just leave him, please..."

Aidan stared at me for a moment, with only anger in his eyes, then he dropped Shane. "Get the fuck out!" he shouted to him. Shane scrambled to get his stuff then leave the bedroom. I let out a soft breath of relief. My headache is back, but at least I prevented Aidan from going to jail.

"Aidan, listen to me, okay, this was a mistake."

"I don't want to fucking hear it, Josh. I'm done with you."

"No, please, listen to me," I took his hand, but he immediately pulled away. He stared at me, with complete hatred, and I'll admit, that is by far the most hurt I have ever felt. He said, "Don't you dare fucking touch me right now, Josh. You fucking did the one thing I despise, with the one person you know fucking boils my blood, then you have the fucking nerve to tell me it was a fucking mistake? You're so fucked up, Josh."

"I'm so sorry-"

"Save it," he stopped me, "I fucking sacrificed everything for you, Josh. I came out to my dad and got fricking disowned from my family, just so I could be with you, just so we could be together and you go and do this shit? You cheat on me with Shane, of all fucking people. And you know what's even worst, it's the fact that throughout our entire fucked up relationship, you never wanted to have sex. You found that so completely wrong. But fucking some other guy is completely right. My bad."

"Aidan, I was drunk."

"That shit has nothing to do with it!" he shouts, "You were intoxicated, not fucking mentally retarded. You know what you were doing, you knew it would hurt me, and you liked it. Didn't you?"

"No, Aidan," I answer, "It was horrible."

"I don't give a fuck, Josh. And we're completely done. I can barely stand to fucking look at you right now," he scoffed and began to walk out of my bedroom. I rush to pull his hand back, but that was a failure. "Don't fucking touch me!"

"Okay, I'm sorry, okay. I'm sorry and I'm so stupid, and I shouldn't have done it, but you can't do this, okay. You can't leave me, Aidan. I need you. Please, can you forgive me?"

"No, I can't," he says coldly as he reached the door.

"God, please, Aidan, I fucking love you and I can't lose you okay. Please."

Aidan dryly chuckled, "Love me? Seriously, Josh, you can find a better lie than that."

"I'm not lying," I sigh, "I love you, a lot. And I'm so sorry. This was a horrible mistake."

"I don't care, Josh. I'm done and we're done. It's over. This is the worst thing you could have ever done to me, Josh," he says, then left the apartment. My eyes widened, and soon tears left them. What the hell did I do?