When the timer finally rang, it's shrill sound cutting through the silence, she took a deep breath, stepped forward, and glanced at the results and immediately, a sigh escaped her lips, releasing the tension she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

Her hands flew to her mouth, muffling the gasp that threatened to escape as a flood of emotions surged through her. It was a feeling she had never experienced before—so many emotions, all at once.
A rush of heat rushed through her veins; it almost felt physical. It was like her breathing was stopped by something, causing her to suffocate in that moment.

The bold, unmistakable "positive" sign stared back at her, as clear as day. She leaned in closer, her elbows resting on the counter, fingers nervously clutching her neck as she struggled to process the reality before her.

She was pregnant. She was carrying a child. A visceral, soul-gripping fear took hold, her hands trembling as she reached for three more tests from the pack and took them again, her movements shaky.

Her breath came in uneven bursts, ragged and heavy, a thousand thoughts racing through her mind, too overwhelming to process. When the timer went off again, she picked up the tests and dropped them almost immediately. All she saw were "+," double lines, and a definitive "positive."

A sob clawed its way up her throat, and she slid down onto the bathroom rug, curling in on herself with her head between her knees. Suddenly, everything made sense—the subtle symptoms, the aversion to her usual favorite bakhoor scents, the easily sparked irritability, the tears she'd shed every time Imran left, the constant light-headedness and sickness she had brushed off as a reaction to the weather. Her stomach twisted, and she found herself heaving.

Tears filled her eyes as the reality settled in. She was carrying a baby. She would become a mother, grow a bump, give birth, and cradle a child of her own. Or maybe... none of it would happen. She might not survive this. She'd die.

The suffocation and ragged breathing returned instantly, wrapping around her like an invisible shroud. She felt lost—utterly lost, as if trapped in a small, narrow cave. The weight of the darkness seemed to press in on her, closing the walls tightly around her. She was gripped by the crushing confinement, merged with the walls themselves, straining to glimpse a sliver of light, a way out—but there was nothing, only the suffocating void. Like an episode of claustrophobia.

She sat there for over an hour, her tear-streaked face eventually giving way to an acceptance tinged with nausea as another wave of sickness washed over her.

When she finally felt steady enough to leave the bathroom, a message from Imran appeared.

"I'll be landing in Maiduguri in less than two hours and call you immediately, babes."

She held the phone in her trembling hands, staring at it for a long minute, unable to type. Sitting on the edge of her bed, she glanced at her birth control pills, counting the days one by one, as though that might somehow change the results.

"Safe flight, habiby," she managed to type with shaky hands, only realizing how incoherent she typed the words that auto-correct couldn't even correct, before resting her head against the headboard.

It didn't feel real. She still couldn't fully process it. She sat there, staring blankly at the wall as memories washed over her—everything from her earliest childhood, the harsh teenage years, and her university days to the happiest moments of her life: her marriage.

Every memory, good or bad, carried a weight of heart-wrenching pain, except her life with Muhammad. This marriage was the best thing that had ever happened to her. Yet now, faced with this pregnancy, there was nothing she wished she could undo more.

She sprang up from the bed, rushed back to the bathroom, grabbed one of the tests, and turned on all the lights, their brightness piercing her eyes. She held the test high, staring at the two bold lines, and let out a hiss of frustration. Painful cries escaped her as she checked each of the other four tests, all confirming the same result. They didn't change at all. Not even one of them changed as she had silently hoped.

The five tests seemed to mock her, their results staring her down. "Ya Allah!" She almost screamed "No, no, no, no, nooo, this can't be happening." she whispered, her voice breaking as she sank to the floor, crashing out all over again. "Please no." Her voice barely visible.

In a haze, she went to Imran's room and began cleaning frantically. She scrubbed every corner, washed the bathroom herself—anything to take her mind off it. The thought gnawed at her, driving her to the edge. She'd feel her senses slipping away to the back of her head as she continued to clean like her life depended on it.

A knock on the door brought her back. It was Jessica, one of the maids.

"Hajiya, I was looking for you. I just finished cleaning the parlor. I want to get something outside before coming to clean your room," Jessica said, her eyes landing on Jadwa's swollen, tear-streaked face.

"Are you feeling well, Hajiya?" Jessica's concern was unmistakable.

Jadwa cleared her throat and forced a small smile. "I'm okay, Jessica. Some incense smoke got in my eye," she lied smoothly, and Jessica nodded politely.

"Sorry, ma."

"Thank you. Go ahead with what you need to do," Jadwa replied.

"Thank you. And lunch is ready. Should I bring it upstairs?"

"No, don't worry. I'll be down in a bit," she said.

Jadwa waited, biting her lip, until Jessica disappeared down the stairs. She quickly returned to her room, placed her birth control pills back, gathered all the tests and their boxes, packed them tightly into an empty makeup bag, then layered it within two more nylon bags. She carried it all downstairs, drove to the end of the street, and threw the entire bundle into a large trash bin before driving back home.

Fortunately, only a few staff were around that day, and just as she returned, her phone rang with a video call from Imran.

She watched the call ring until it ended, then it began ringing again, but she couldn't bring herself to answer. She didn't want to pick up, yet they had an unspoken rule: they never missed each other's calls. He always answered her on the first ring, and vice versa. She knew that not answering would only make him worry, and the last thing she wanted was to make him feel worried or bad about leaving for work.

She glanced in the mirror, relieved to see her nose was only slightly red and her eyes had mostly returned to normal. She rushed to the powder room and splashed cold water on her face until she felt better and back to normal.

She saw one more missed call and called back immediately after drying her face.

"Hello, wifey!" he greeted her with a wide smile.

"Hi, husband," she replied, chuckling, though her voice came out with a slight rasp.

"Why weren't you picking?" He raised an offensive brow.

"Sorry Sir, I was in the kitchen... left my phone here." She chuckled lightly, but her throat hurt from the weight in her chest.

"Let me see you properly," he said, adjusting his sunglasses and standing still. She saw he was on a green field with a massive tree behind him, the sky clear and blue.

She adjusted her phone, tying her jilbab properly.

"Ya dai? Did you cry?" He took off his sunglasses, studying her face with concern.

Her heart dropped in that second, like a deer caught in a headlight. He knew. He always knew, and she hated it. She hated how he saw through her every time. He knew her as well as the back of his hand, her every look, her every word revealing more to him than she wanted. All it always took was one look at her, one word, or the sound of her voice to know. Sometimes he just knew, without her saying a word even if they were miles apart.

"Dai dai, I think it's allergies," she laughed, brushing off his concern.

"Hmm, are you sure?" he asked, briefly looking away to direct a staff member and ordering them to do something. She took that moment to mask her lie.

"Very sure! Or do you think I cried over you?" She stuck out her tongue, but it tasted bitter. So bitter that she wished to disappear and go back to her thoughts. She figured if she tried to joke, it'll take his mind off any of his potential worries.

"Hmm, fada mun gaskiya dai," he teased. She knew it'd work. "Crybaby. You can't stay away from your husband for three hours?" He added with a playful grin, and she rolled her eyes, laughing albeit not a happy one.

She couldn't even blame him; the first time he traveled, she had been so emotional that he had to return the very next day. Now it all made sense! the sudden burst of emotions, little weight gain, the constant hunger and overeating.

"Babe, it was just once," she sighed, pouting.

"Ittaqillah," he replied. "It was like three times, and after I came back, you were crying as if you didn't want me there," he said with a grin.

"It's not my fault," she retorted, batting her lashes as he laughed, while she remembered, and it only became obvious why she pulled that act. But her heart kept beating at a rate she couldn't control. It was beating too hard that if he was someone sitting next to her, he'd have been able to hear the drums.

"Yeah, yeah. That's what I get for spoiling you. I should start restricting some things," he said with a serious face.

He would always say that but only spoil her more. Whether it was spending, her whims, or anything she wanted, she always got her way. She had never heard him say no.

"Your wife! Your baby!" she said dramatically, digging into the creamy chicken pasta in front of her. She didn't have an appetite at all but she needed anything to help block what she's intending to from Muhammad, and if a plate of the food in front of her would, then she'll push it down.

"Yes, you! Spoiled brat," he chuckled as she took a large bite, closing her eyes pretending to savor it. That was far from the truth though.

"What did I do to you today? I'm a brat now?" she asked.

Imran shook his head, used to her antics. "Shiyasa kike kumatu ai, unhealthy food all the time," he teased.

Her heart dropped in her stomach, her breath hitched at his comment. She just couldn't comprehend anything at that moment, and she almost choked, taking the flavored water next to her and gulping it down quickly. She was sure her body froze with no any movement within her system.

"Careful babe, I know I'm a fine man but please don't choke" he choked and she couldn't stop herself from laughing while she coughed. She laughed a little too hard that she feared he'd notice she was faking it this time.

"Alright, Mama, I'll talk to you later. It's time for my meeting," he said, and she nodded too quickly than she'd had intended.

"Alright, bye, honey," she forced a smiled, and he stared into the camera for a little bit.

"Are you not going to ask for a kiss today?" he asked, putting back his sunglasses.

Jadwa had totally forgotten her kiss ritual; sometimes she even got upset over it. It was something she never, ever forgot, even when she was upset with him.

"Give me my kiss," she demanded, tilting her head at the camera with a playful glare.

"Muah!" He kissed the screen.

"Bye, big baby," she said, blowing a kiss back before ending the call. She sighed of relief for being able to pull that phone call.

Her heart started beating again as the thoughts came rushing back all at once. Tears pooled in her eyes as she pushed away the plate of food.

•••

They say early updates are the best, right? So dive in and enjoy the latest chapter! I'm excited to hear your thoughts! don't forget to comment, vote, and share your predictions with me. Your feedback means the world and keeps the story alive! ❤️