September 16th, 2017

Saturday I wake up feeling like crap's second sister. My hair is flat on with my sleeping cap nowhere in sight and I'm so tired that the thought of work is more saddening than when Finn left me last night-that's really saying something considering the fact that I almost thought of crying when he pecked my cheek goodbye. 

I get out of bed slowly and stretch my back. Last night my room felt so stuffy that I'd only slept in my sports bra. Now staring at the jagged lines on the left side of my stomach, I really wish I hadn't.

May 11th, 2013

"What do you want?"
Jaxson had seemed so confident, his voice was so carefree that to the common ear it would've seemed like he was talking to an old friend.

"Want is a strange word, don't ya think?" The guy in the middle snarled, flashing the light he carried in front of his olive colored face. At that moment, he had more resemblance to an angry wolf than a man.

He had black hair so long he held it in a ponytail. His blue eye, even in the darkness, shone bright with hate. What I remember most of all about him though, what I'll never forget, was the long, thin scar that ran from his black eye patch to his defined cheekbone. It set him apart from the rest. It's what burned his face into my mind.

For the first time in the six months I'd known Jaxson, he was actually quiet as he connected the dots. "Personally, I might argue that it's the strangest word in the American vocabulary," He and his minions advanced forward. They looked just as scary as their leader. Both had eyes as dark as sin. Their mouth permanently carved in vicious smirks. "Because I don't want to hurt you. I need to hurt your father. Make him suffer for taking away what was mine. So, I ask you, What better way to accomplish my task than by cutting up the only piece of shït he cares about?" With those words out, he snapped his huge fingers.

In a matter of just seconds, the huge men that once stood behind him were now in front of Jaxson and I. One roughly grabbed me like I was nothing more than a rag doll and pushed me up against the wall. His partner locked his huge hands around Jaxson's neck in a suffocating hug.

Even in our moment of despair, Jaxson couldn't keep his mouth closed. He just had to make his opinion known.
"Put. Me. Down."

"And why would I do such a thing? I have you where I want you."

"'Now you're going to eat me?'  Stop being a sick motherfućker, Tamil." Jaxson had managed to spit at the scarred man even as the man holding him hugged his neck tighter.

At that moment, as my eyes filled with tears at how close death seemed to be, I believed Jaxson had a death wish. My only desire at the time was to not have to follow through with that dream of his.

Tamil nodded to the man holding Jaxson. Without hesitation, the man dropped his hands from Jaxson's neck and as he coughed for air, the man delivers a few hard kicks to his stomach until Tamil snapped his fingers once more.

"Respect is a valuable trait, young Allen." The smirk on his face as he mocked Jaxson with his father's words was one filled with nothing but pure hatred.

"It's also a trait only shown to those with real power. You, my friend, have nothing."

In my early teen years, I had admired everything Jaxson did like he was some type of angel sent from heaven just for me. I had never felt any sort of resentment for anything he did but at that moment, I had hated him more than I'd ever hated anything because even before the man holding me did anything, I knew. With just a few words, Jaxson had brought me into the fight.

Tamil's face remained unrealistically calm as he said, "You're correct, young Allen, but also wrong. I do not possess the power of power. I possess something better. The power of pain."

Jaxson swallowed his pride down for a second and asked, "What are you going to do?"

"Ask a few simple questions." Tamil ran his hands along a wall, smirk in place.

Jaxson didn't seem fazed at all the weapons staring him in the face. As cool as ever, he stood up from the ground and stretched to his full height, 5'11. "The catch?"

"For every question, I feel is wrong, my friend, Chang, will make you wish you'd told the truth."

"What good would that do?"Jaxson raised a dark eyebrow at Tamil. "My father cares more about Lin's well being than mine. He would praise you for toughening me up."

I remember the fear that crawled up inside me as Tamil considered Jaxson's lie so clearly, that whenever I dream of this moment, I can actually sink into it.

Javier Allen cared for me enough to show me off to all his friends. He and Jaxson's mom loved to brag about how they'd rescued me from a foster home. They relied on the world thinking they were amazing people to do what could never be brought to light.  What better way to prove this than by fostering from a kid from the minority group?

"I'll eat your bait, young Allen, but only because I've always hated her." Turning to the man holding me, he growled, "Quince, Ná dāo."

"Láizì nǎlǐ?"

"Qiáng, yǎbā!"

Quince released me from his hold like I was poisonous. For a moment hope rose in the deepest part of my stomach. I'd been given another chance at life. My mind raced with all sorts of ideas of how to get out of the warehouse but I didn't pay any attention to them.

I was thirteen and smart enough to know that if one of the guys came after me, I wouldn't be able to fight them off alone. I was also aware of the fact that if somehow managed to ran away and they caught me, the punishment for running away would be worse than anything I'd ever encountered. Plus, I'd thought was a stupid last resort to keep myself in the little corner Quince had left me in, Jaxson won't let them do anything to me.

Looking back now though, I wish I'd taken that grant of freedom. At least then I could say I actually tried to get myself out of the trouble we were stuck in.

Quince came back thirty seconds later carrying a knife.

"When does the next shipment of plants come in?"

"I don't know."

No remorse covered Tamil's hard face as he snapped his figures at Quince. Everyone watched as he pushed me down to the ground. At four foot eleven and no more than one hundred pounds at most, the task couldn't be considered hard.

When my back hit the cement ground, what was happening finally really sank into my slow brain. I snapped out of whatever daze I was in and tried to move away from the blade. If I'd snapped out of mind a second earlier, if Jaxson had spoken up faster, maybe I would've had a chance.

"Thursday!"

The blade sank into my outer thigh as a scream like no other left mg mouth. Tears left my eyes at a much faster speed while Quince drew the knife out of my leg without looking at me. 

"Young Allen, at what warehouse will the trucks arrive at?"

This time Jaxson only hesitated for a minute, but that was enough for Tamil to snap his figures.

"The one in Jacksonville."

I screamed until my lungs were sore. I kicked with my good leg with all my might. I even tried batting away at his hands.

But nothing worked.

Quince grabbed a chunk of my shirt, tearing the flimsy fabric in two. The only thing that covered me was the bright pink sports bra I'd chosen to wear, back when I'd thought Jaxson was taking me for a hike. 

Quince drew a line starting at the end of my rib cage down to the top of my hipbone. He did this one more time, the second time crossing his new cut with the old.

Remembering the event now, I realize that it would've hurt less if I had stayed still instead of flailing around.

"Listen up, young Allen. I will not repeat myself. Get me the keys to the warehouse or she gets it. For every hour it takes you, she will get a new cut." Jaxson nodded as he understood, but if you looked into his eyes like Tamil and I did, you would've seen how clear it was that he had no intentions of coming back. "If you don't show up within five hours, I will personally shot her and deliver her to your bedroom." 

That said, Jaxson was set free. He didn't look back as he hurried out the door.

True to his words, with every hour that went by, Quince marked my skin with his blade. Chang and Tamil stood by and watched, Tamil with eyes filled with loathe and Chang boredom. At one point he even said,

"Boss, let me have a turn at her."

Tamil responded with a roll of his eyes, saying,

"You'd kill her too fast."

I wished with all my might, with no luck, that he would let Chang have a turn.

I passed out at the fourth cut. I don't remember much of what happened after that. Just a lot of noise, shuffling feet, and cold air.

My memory draws a blank whoever I try to remember how I ended up in the hospital.  It seems like I was just there. Magically. As heavily drugged as I apparently was, somehow I managed to feel all the pain from my stomach and upper leg. Seliah was sitting in a little chair to my right, arms wrapped around her waist as she cried. I stared at her through downcast eyes, as I struggled to look

______

Hey readers! Thank you so much for taking tune time to get this far in my book! Please vote, comment and share if you liked this chapter.

Q.O.T.C.: What did you think of the flashback? A waste of time or needed?

**It's ok to be honest, just be nice about it:)

Love you guys, Liv

DP: Nov.18.17
WC: 1,520