"Jacob.", as you called his name in the dead of night Jacob almost fell from his chair that he had been sleeping on for the past few days.

A cold shiver crawled down his spine as he rushed over to the bed and lit a small light to be able to see your face. His hand looked for yours, grabbed it gently, almost too gently for him and held it.

"Pup.", his voice was so soft.

He hated it. He hated the way his heart was beating in that moment, he hated the excitement that made his body tingle. He hated the feeling that was slowly growing inside of him.

Was that... relief?

Or was it nervousness?

It was hard to tell. It had been long ago since he had felt this way. How much he hated that it had returned.

And yet.

He was kneeling there, right in front of his bed, holding your hand as if he was holding his dying partner.

What a ridiculous thought.

A soft breath escaped your dry lips. Your tongue licked over them, the taste of salt filled your mouth.

"I'm thirsty.", you whispered, tired and exhausted at the same time.

Jacobs hand flinched, he wanted to reach for a cup of water that he had placed at the edge of the bed a few days ago in case you woke up without him being present.

But now he hesitated. He didn't want to show you special treatment. However, at the same time he was treating you special. After all, you were laying in his own bed, covered in blankets and all patched up.

Slowly, he reached for the cup and placed it at your lips.

"Slowly. You'll get a stomach ache if you drink too quickly.", Jacob warned while holding your head up with his other hand. "How are you feeling?"

Greedily, you chugged down the last bit of water before taking a huge, shaky breath. It felt like as if you had been falling down a hill for days.

Your limbs were sore, breathing felt like it out pressure in your chest.

But in the end it could have been worse, you thought. You woke up, something that was considered a privilege in this place.

"What... what am I doing here?", you asked and managed to look him in the eyes.

The sight of his ginger hair and beard made your heart jump. But the way he looked at you was sad, almost guilty.

"I took care of you.", he admitted.

"Why?"

Silence.

For a second, he chewed on his lips, almost like a little boy that was unsure if it was smart to tell his parents the truth.

"I felt like I owned you one.", he said after a moment. "And I didn't feel like getting rid of you yet."

A soft laugh escaped you. It made your chest hurt and chased a sharp pain through your lungs. Coughing, you twisted and turned before breaking down.

Jacob watched, helpless and a bit concerned. In that moment he regretted that he had no real medical knowledge whatsoever.

"Pup, lay down. You need rest.", slowly, he pushed you down into the soft sheets. "I'll get you some food."

He got up and twirled around, embraced by his sudden softness that he had for you.

Why was he acting this way?

His work was simple, culling the herd. The weak had to die. The strong were allowed to live. It had happed many, many times, the same procedure and the same punishments.

Death and violence.

Never before he had shown mercy. To nobody.

So why?

After all those times, where did this sudden weakness came from?

Why was he crumbling?

As Jacob wanted to leave you managed to grab him by the wrist. It was a weak grip, almost not existing.

But your touch, skin on skin, chased a wave of thunder through his body. The touch made him shiver. The last time he had felt something this clearly on his numb skin had been before the war.

He stopped in his tracks, slowly turned his head and threw a glance over his shoulder.

"Jacob.", his name tasted bitter on your tongue.

No, not bitter. The fact that his name was something dear to you, that fact tasted bitter.

"Hm?", he grabbed your hand with his, not wanting to let go of the feeling. "What is it?"

"Jacob.", your lips trembled, speaking hurt. "You're getting soft... don't. Just... end it..."

His eyes flinched.

"Don't talk nonsense."

"You're... acting irresponsible..."

"And you? Do you know what you're saying? Do you know what it would mean?", he came closer again.

The expression on his face was a gloomy one, a mixture between anger and disgust. The anger was dedicated towards the audacity that you had to call him out like this. The disgust was dedicated to himself, because he knew that your words were nothing but the truth.

He was getting soft. Even if it was just for you. It was a flaw, big enough to be a target for blackmailing. Hell, he had bargained with his own fucking brother only a few days ago, out of fear to put you in danger.

Why?!

Why was he so afraid to hurt you?!

And yet. Every time he was able to play his mind games with you, he enjoyed it. He enjoyed the fear in your eyes, the sweat on your skin. Even the flinching movements of your body when in trance. He loved every bit of it.

Maybe he was just afraid to loose his favourite toy. Yes, that must have been it. He just didn't want to let go of his new toy.

Not yet.

"Jacob.", your voice made him snap out of his thoughts. "I don't want to... anymore. Please. End it. Kill me."

Those words. Those fucking words.

As they left your weak lips with a soft breath it made his body shiver. Suddenly there was this scream in the back of his head. Something was screaming, crying even.

It was furious. Oh, so fucking furious.

Slowly, he lowered his gaze, wasn't able to look into your eyes no more. Clenching his hands into fists, he tried to keep himself from shaking.

But it was no use.

His fist tightened so much, the knuckles turned white. His shoulders began to shake and he had to bite his lips.

Suddenly, he tore his arm into the air. It was such a quick yet powerful movement that you had no chance to react.

All of a sudden, his hand was stuck inside the wall. Little pieces of concrete fell out, cracks danced over the plain walls and into the air.

As he looked at you, your heart almost stopped beating.

"I decide when you die.", he growled in a cold voice. "And I want to keep you. So stop asking me for things like this. Or I'll punish you."