Uncertainly your eyes wandered over his face. With bated breath you let your fingers stroke through his ginger hair which felt so soft, yet so rough. As if covered in sand.

When the tips of your fingernails gently scratched his skin, Jacob closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Pup.", he whispered and reached for your hand to kiss it gently. "Are you scared?"

The touch of his lips sent a cold shiver down your spine.
A shaky breath left your lips. You shook your head.

"No.", you whispered, and breathed a kiss on his forehead. "I'm just... surprised."

A giggle made his chest vibrate.

"Me too. I didn't think I'd ever like you this much, Pup."

"Hm. Maybe you're sick.", you joked.

Again he had to laugh, while his ear was pressed against your chest and his arms hugged you tightly.

"I can hear your heartbeat.", he whispered. "I haven't been this calm in a long time. This... it feels like a dream. Ha, forget that. My dreams are neither calm nor enjoyable. But this is... great."

Your eyes grew heavy and all at once something in your chest tightened.

"Jacob.", carefully you pushed him away from you so he had to look at you. "I am not a therapist. Obviously, there are... deeper issues."

He pulled a face.

"Pup.", his hands reached out to squeeze yours. "I know I have a lot of issues. But we both also know that's never going to change. This world is not designed to change anything, but to preserve the ideal."

With a sour expression on your face, you shook your head.

"What are you talking about? There's enough help out there, you just have to go and accept it!", you protested, but at the same moment you bit your tongue. "You would only have to leave Eden's gate."

At that very moment, his expression hardened. Hastily, he cast a quick glance over his shoulder, as if he were afraid something would be watching you two.

For a moment he stared into the darkness of the forest before he stood out and pulled you with him. He pushed you onto his back and began to walk again.

In the process he forgot to pick up your shoes again. You didn't think to take them with you either and they just stayed behind.

"Jacob.", worried, you tried to grab his face with both hands, but he shook them off and kept running. "What's wrong? Did I say something wrong?"

The expression on his face was somber. He kept biting his lips to nibble on the dry skin until the taste of blood filled his mouth. But this time the familiar taste couldn't sooth his nervous mind. His eyes darted through the against, always searching for something that would confirm his unease.

When he ran past a tree and spotted a shadow out of the corner of his eye, he jumped to the side so quickly that he almost lost his footing and fell down a slope with you.

"Jacob!", your hands clutched at his chest. "Be careful. You'll hurt yourself."

An amused gasp escaped him.

"Hurt me?", he asked in a sarcastic voice. "Pup, you'll break your neck before I could think about it."

Confused, you frowned, wanting to ask him what he meant, but he was already running on. Carefully he let himself slide down the slope, stumbled a few meters further and finally stopped on the shore of a lake.

Curious, you stretched your neck to get a glimpse of the landscape, but Jacob immediately let you off his back and sat you down on the shore.

With a worried look he grabbed you by the shoulders and forced you to give him your full attention.

"Pup, look at me. Look at me!", he put a hand under your chin to keep you from looking anywhere else. "(Y/N). Listen to me. Listen to me carefully. You mustn't say things like that. Never. Not as long as you have one foot on my family's land. Their eyes and ears are everywhere. Joseph will not tolerate betrayal of the community."

A deep breath left his lips. Again he cast a quick glance over his shoulder.

Concerned, you frowned and placed a hand on his cheek to help him calm down a bit.

"Jacob, no one is here but us.", you told him, but his eyes could not find peace. "We are alone."

"That's what you think. Maybe someone followed us. For safety."

You frowned.

"You have bodyguards?"

"No. I have chaperones. Joseph sends them sometimes. Or John."

You laughed, incredulously.

"But why would they do such a thing? Don't they trust you?"

Slowly his eyes returned to you. He looked dead serious. As if you were joking about war.

"I don't know if my brother can really talk to God.", he admitted in a silent voice. "And I don't care either. God, I mean. My job is to protect the family. If there is no more protection for the family, then everything will be destroyed. Then everything was for nothing."

His chest was falling and rising hastily. He was breathing way too fast, but looked so calm on the outside.

You swallowed thickly, also looking around for a moment from the corner of your eyes.

"You don't believe in your brothers mission?", you did not dare to speak louder than a whisper.

The words made him visibly nervous. Immediately, his head snapped back and he pressed a hand onto your mouth to suppress the slightest noise.

"Pup.", he gasped, his eyes widened. "Don't. Not ever. Please. The only way to stay together is to keep your mouth shut and play the game. I love my brothers. I wish to protect them both. It doesn't matter what they stand for, they saved me, clothed me and gave me a purpose in life again. I can't disrespect the love they gave me. Even if it means I have to help them fulfil gods plan. I don't hate what I do. It's me, a part of my heart."

"But you're doing this for Joseph, not God."

For a moment, he hesitated. Then, slowly, but surely, he dared to nod. But not a single word of confirmation left his mouth.

Not ever.