I returned to my house around dinnertime. I didn't feel like eating as a wolf tonight. I often hunted with Nessie but only ate with her because it made her happy. It also felt like less of a waste if the animal served as sustenance for two instead of just being drained of blood and tossed aside. Still, I much preferred my meat cooked and on a plate than covered in fur. I doubted my father had been wondering where I was. He had Rachel home now and the place felt a little crowded. Ever since Paul imprinted on my sister she hadn't so much as stepped foot off the res. That aggravated me to no end. She dropped out of school to be closer to him. She tried to play it off that Billy and I needed her but honestly we'd been just fine since she left for school. She and Paul were only a couple weeks away from their wedding so I wasn't complaining anymore. No one listened to me anyway. I'd miss her when they moved in together. It was nice having her back after all the time she'd been away.

I could smell meatloaf and corn on the cob. Talk about perfect timing. I trotted up to my bedroom window and phased back before jumping through. I threw on some clothes and headed straight for the kitchen. I ate with Rachel and Billy and was just finishing up the dishes when the phone rang.

"Hello."

"Jacob, where have you been?" Nessie asked with a hint of anxiety in her voice.

"I had to check in with Sam is all. Didn't Edward tell you I'd be back to pick you up later?"

"Yes. I was worried you didn't want to see me though, after talking to daddy about Alice's vision."

"I always want to see you, honey. I'm on my way now, okay?"

"Okay. Bye."

I grabbed my keys to the Rabbit and headed back to the Cullen's house. Nessie was waiting for me on the front porch wearing capri shorts and an olive green long sleeved tee. I always told her how good she looked in green. She bounded to my car with a big grin on her face before I even shut off the engine. She didn't look nervous at all now. Maybe Edward hadn't told her I that I planned on having a talk with her tonight? Edward walked by the living room window then and shook his head answering my question. God, he was annoying. He smirked at me and kept on walking. We pulled out of the drive and headed back to La Push.

Once we reached the beach I took Nessie's hand and we started to walk down to the water. The sun had set and we could see the moonlight dancing off the water. I started wondering if I was setting her up for disappointment with this romantic stroll on the beach under millions of stars… God, I was going to royally screw this up. We sat down in the sand and watched the gentle waves wash up on the sand. I took a deep breath and turned to face her.

"Ness, I want to apologize for running out this afternoon. Your dad and I had a discussion after that awkward moment in the house and I just needed some time to think." I paused to gauge her reaction. She looked nervous now. She pulled her hand back from mine and wrapped both arms around her knees just like Bella used to do when she was human. The resemblance made me smile.

"I'm sorry about making you uncomfortable, Jacob. It was just something I was considering and Aunt Alice overreacted. She relies far too much on her gift. Her and daddy, both. You're my best friend and I didn't mean to make things weird between us." She pouted her lips and looked down at her feet. I took her chin in my hand and lifted it up so our eyes met again.

"Honey, I'm glad it happened because Edward finally agreed to let me explain imprinting to you. We both think it's time to be completely honest with you." Her eyes expressed her shock and her cheeks flushed a little but she didn't say anything. She waited for me to continue.

"Okay, well, you know how Sam imprinted on Emily and Quil imprinted on Claire, right? Well, see it was the same for both couples but also different because of Claire's age. She was only two when Quil imprinted. So, for Sam and Emily it was kind of a 'love at first sight' sort of situation. They were both adults at the time and they started dating and now they are married. For Quil, he didn't fall 'in love' with Claire exactly. He felt the imprint when it happened but his feelings for Claire are more of a protector or a big brother. When Claire grows up Quil will develop romantic feelings for her, and if she chooses to love him back, they will probably get married. Do you understand the difference?"

"Yes... I know when you imprint it's like finding your soul mate."

"Yes exactly. Your whole world changes instantly and everything revolves around the other person, like an overpowering gravitational pull. That doesn't scare you? That… that you're my soul mate?" I fidgeted, waiting for her response.

"No. I guess I assumed it had to mean something different for us because I'm not even fully human let alone Quiluette. I mean, the wolf pack exists to protect against vampires, right? You're the Alpha wolf and I'm half vampire for goodness sake. I doubt imprinting would match us up for all eternity." She laughed like it was absurd. Maybe it was. I never thought of it that way before. Pack members have imprinted on pale-faces before so it wasn't inconceivable. I reminded her about Seth.

"Sarah isn't Quiluette but Seth still imprinted on her. So, you thought my imprint on you was purely a 'friends for life' kind of arrangement since we are so different genetically?" She nodded her head and I detected a hint of sadness about that conclusion.

"Ness, I don't know if this will make you happy or more upset but it's not any different for us. At least not for me it isn't. I felt the same draw to you the day you were born that Quil and Sam felt for their imprints. I'm going to develop romantic feelings for you just like Quil will for Claire. I don't know when since you've grown so quickly. But I feel it. I know it's happening, for me at least." I looked out at the water waiting for a response. When she didn't say anything for over a minute I turned to look at her. She was beaming. She took my hand back in hers.

"So what does this mean for us?" she asked me still grinning ear to ear. Oh, boy.

"It just means we are friends for now. And sometime soon, only if you want to of course, I'd like to maybe take you out on a date. Your mom and dad want us to wait a while longer. And I agree with them that we aren't ready. I just know that you are the most important thing in the world to me, Nessie, and I want you to know that I'm looking forward to that part of our relationship. Whenever it happens."

"Why can't it be now? I mean, I have feelings for you so what's the point in waiting?" She looked so vulnerable in the moonlight, her long hair blowing in the wind. Her petite hands were shaking from the nerves. She had just told me what I'd been hoping to hear for six years.

"I love you Renesmee, and you are becoming a very beautiful girl, but I don't… I'm not attracted to you like that just yet. I want to be… I will be… it just hasn't happened yet. I don't know why. I get crazy jealous when I think of boys at your school getting your attention, but I just don't feel like it's the right time for us yet. You're still like my sister." Her eyes started to tear up and by the time I spat out the word "sister" my sweet Nessie lost control and warm tears spilled over onto her rosy cheeks. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head. It killed me to make her cry. I hated the sound of her soft little whimpers knowing I was the cause of her pain. It made me want to cry too.

"I'm sorry, Jacob. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like a fool." She wiped her tears away and curled her knees back up to her chest. "There's nothing wrong with you, honey" I pleaded. "I've been waiting for this moment for six years. I am the one ruining it. I never expected you to feel this way before I did." I sighed not knowing what else to say. The wind was picking up and I smelled the rain coming. I knew we had to get going soon or we'd get soaked. "Ness, will you still come with me to Rachel and Paul's wedding? I'll understand if you don't want to, but I'm hoping tonight won't make things weird between us. I can't stand being away from you for too long." I held my breath, afraid of what she might say.

"Of course I'm coming. Alice already bought my dress" she replied with a half smile. I comforted her a while longer and then drove her home. She had fresh tears in her eyes as she got out of my car and whispered goodnight. I hated myself for getting her hopes up like that and then turning her down. How else was I supposed to say it? Well, you see Ness someday you will be like my Emily, but for now you are like my Claire? I knew it was too soon. I'd never once thought of her sexually. Of course, I never tried either because if I had Edward would have ripped me to pieces! What a mess. For a minute I envied Quil. He still had loads of time to figure out what to say to Claire.

I got home a little after ten and went straight to my room. I was still playing our conversation over and over in my head trying to think of an easier way I could have told Nessie how I felt. There's just no way to tell a seventeen year old girl that you aren't attracted to her! The worst part was I didn't know why I wasn't. She certainly looked like a young woman. Her body looked like a woman's, it was developed and curvy. Her voice had changed a lot recently and now sounded like music. Maybe it was my brain. What if my brain knew I imprinted on an infant and somehow set a mental alarm clock that wouldn't go off for 18 years? Maybe I was just deranged. I lay down in my too small bed and stared at the water mark on the ceiling. I wanted to make Nessie's pain go away. I wanted to be able to give her what she needed from me. Wasn't that the whole point of imprinting? To be whatever it was that the woman needed? Claire needed a big brother. Emily needed a husband. Rachel needed- Lord only knows what it was Rachel needed that made Paul her perfect mate. I was the one person in the world who could be everything Nessie would ever need. But somehow I wasn't. For the first time in her life I was failing her. She apparently didn't need just a friend anymore. She needed a boyfriend, her first love. I was suddenly determined to be that for her.

I closed my eyes and started rubbing myself. This was not something I routinely did. Sure, sometimes I just needed the physical release but afterwards it always felt wrong and unnecessary. My soul mate hadn't needed a lover, so why spend so much time engaging solo in an activity that did her no good? I obviously couldn't think about Nessie while I did it and thinking about any other girl just felt like a betrayal. I suppose it was the same reason neither Quil or I had given any serious thought to dating other women while our imprints were growing up. We simply didn't have the desire to do it. Tonight was different. I was determined to make my stupid brain click into boyfriend mode. As I started feeling hard I unbuttoned my jeans and slid my hand inside forcing the zipper down. I started thinking about my Nessie in the blue sundress she had worn the weekend before. The neckline was a little lower than she normally wore. Maybe Alice had picked it out. I thought about how the fabric had clung to her breasts and stomach and hung delicately from her trim waist. I pulled myself from the confines of my boxer shorts and began thrusting slowly. Squeezing my eyes tightly I tried to imagine Nessie laying next to me kissing my neck, running her soft hands across my chest, what it would feel like to touch her breasts. I stopped what I was doing and my eyes popped open. I felt like a sick twisted freak. Nessie's breasts? Good God, I had never allowed myself to think of her in this way. I was there the day she noticed her budding breasts under her shirt. She blushed the deepest red I'd ever seen in her cheeks and ran straight to Bella. Edward and I had waited downstairs like the two biggest cowards in the world. At least I just had to focus on not listening to their conversation. Poor Edward was trying like hell not to hear Nessie's thoughts and not see the images of what she saw in her mind. Emmett found that hilarious. Payback he called it. Lucky for Edward, Bella used her freaky shield power to block Nessie's thoughts the rest of that day. I watched her tiny nubs grow over just a few weeks to become the perfect mounds they were today. The soft, round, heaving masses I had pictured myself fondling just now. I felt slightly nauseous.

My body was all worked up now so I reached for a Victoria Secret catalog I had stashed under my mattress. I took a deep breath and focused on one of the young ladies in the magazine who I had not played hide and seek with a thousand times. I stroked myself harder and my breathing became uneven. I tried to force my mind back to Nessie. Perhaps just her face. Smiling at me while her skin slightly sparkled in the sunlight. Her large chocolate eyes looking at me lovingly. I felt a wave of guilt wash over me as I moaned under my breath and stumbled into my release. My thoughts bounced back and forth from Nessie to the lingerie model. I'd have to be very careful not to think about this next time I was around Edward. No wonder I was so screwed up. That leech purposely listened to my every thought just waiting for the first inappropriate one about his daughter to pass through! I cleaned myself up and rolled over to try to get comfortable. I'd be running patrol the next few nights and really needed to get some rest. Somewhere between thoughts of the underwear models and Nessie in a training bra I finally drifted off to sleep.
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