Autumn: Proposed what?

I had a hard time believing what I was hearing.

Jacob: To her. I proposed to her.

Autumn: Like.. Explain that to me, cause that just ain't registering.

He got down on one knee as he spoke.

Jacob: I literally got down on one knee and I asked her to marry me.

I couldn't believe it. I just could not fathom what he had just said to me.

Autumn: So you're getting married, now?

Jacob: Yeah..

He shrugged. I blinked before I could come up with the right reaction.

Autumn: Congratulations.

I hugged him but it kinda hurt to hear the news. My thing was not the news, but I was try'na figure out why I felt so bad.

Jacob: I guess..

Autumn: What do you mean, "You guess.."?

Jacob: I mean, I'm not in love with her.. I'm just doing it so that Alaina can know what a real family feels like.

Autumn: Br if you don't love her, why waste your time when you can just do the thing with trading off?

Jacob: Because I don't want her to be exposed around that type of lifestyle Autumn. Having guys bustin her momma wide open every week, niggas lookin her up and down and I can't can't do shit unless she tells me what happened! I don't want her to be thinking that giving out free sex to random niggas is okay. Don't you get that?

I thought about what he said and placed the picture on my parents lives.. Married, divorced and messed up children.

Autumn: Listen Jacob. I just don't want you to be trapped into something that you can't get out of. And I also don't want you to end up like my parents or your kids to end up like me.

Now he was confused.

Jacob: You?

Autumn: Yes me, Jacob. I have issues.

Jacob: No you don't. You're perfect..

I rolled my eyes.

Autumn: My life is far from perfect, Jacob. You see, everything was perfect at one time. It was when my parents were married and we were out in public. You don't abuse your kids in public, now do you? You don't argue and come home to bloody noses and a belt waiting to turn you black and blue in public, now do you? You see, there are many things that I can't say that aren't perfect. But I don't.

Jacob: Autumn.. I..

Autumn: No sympathy.. I don't want your sympathy. That's the last thing I want from anybody. I am who I am today because of the things I went through and that's that. I've only told you about the marriage issues. But the divorce? That's a different story. That's where the mental issues start rolling in with the-the self hate and the insecurity and the voices.. The thoughts.. The dark ones.. That's a fire you don't wanna play with. So don't do it, Jacob. Because I'm telling you right now. My mental issues are one of the reasons why I almost killed you in the first place.

I blinked because my eyes were stinging. So I wiped my eyes and that's when I knew that I was crying. The memories that flooded my head and the everything came rushing back. Now all I had to do was stop them. I leaned back against the wall as I continued trying to dry my eyes but the more I tried, the wetter they became.

Autumn: Ugh! Make it stop!

I gave up before sighing.

Autumn: Jacob, do you have any tissue?

~Jacob~

I have never, in all my life, met a strong woman like Autumn.. My mother doesn't count cause I didn't meet her, I grew up with her. But even now, when she cries, she doesn't break. I couldn't help but to go over to her and hold her.

Jacob: I may not have any tissue, but you can use my shirt as a mop for your tears.

I'm not the romantic type and she knows this. But I tried to sound with the least sarcasm as possible. She giggled and I smiled at her.

Autumn: Thanks, but I don't think you'd be able to get rid of all the..

Jacob: Oh no, I just said ya tears. I ain't say nothin about yo nose.

Autumn: Whatever, Jacob.

Jacob: You know something?

Autumn: Yes, I know a lot of things.

I laughed at her comment.

Autumn: But what?

Jacob: You know you're one of the strongest women I know?

Autumn: How so?

Jacob: Even why you cry, you don't break.

Autumn: Hmm..

She nodded.

Jacob: And you're also the most beautiful..

She smiled and looked down.

Autumn: Ans I guess it's my turn to admit that you look.. Better than most guys..

I chuckled again. This girl spoke sarcasm as fluently as my moms did.

Jacob: You know I look good.

She laughed again and while she laughed, I kept looking at her smile.. Her lips were a beautiful rich red color and I just wanted to but them. When we settled down, my attention was then drawn to her eyes. Her beautiful brown eyes could hypnotize the master magician. She could make an atheist believe in God just in the way she shines her light. And her eyes..

Her eyes you could just get lost in, just like right now.. I leaned in as the music played softly in the background and began to get flashes of what we used to be.. Pillow fights, late night conversations and the sex.. This girl's erotic world drives me crazy. Ain't no other female ever done what she did for me. She waits il the hunger in me builds for her to give it to me. And when she does.. I never regret it. When I pulled away from her, I listened to her heavy breathing before opening my eyes to watch her open hers.

Jacob: Autumn, I'm gonna be honest. I still Love You more than anything and I really don't wanna marry Helen. I just want you. You're the only female I've ever told everything to and been totally honest with. Not including when we were together cause I was an asshole who didn't know what he had, then.

Autumn: Yeah.

She nodded.

Jacob: But I do. I Love You and I just had to get that off my chest. If I didn't, something worst probably would've happened.

Autumn: Like what?

Jacob: Me popping off at the mouth on people. Mainly niggas when on the subject on females. But I just want you to know that I'm here for you when you need me. Okay?

She nodded and I could tell that she was only focused on my lips. So I gave it to her again.

Jacob: I Love You.

Autumn: I-I Love You Too.