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I don't feel like arguin' tonight with you, with you

Jackson could see her from the corner of his eye. Sitting at the edge of the bed in a black crisp dress that did wanders to her body. Yet her features were sad, another round of arguments had been thrown between the two tonight. The same stuff it had been for months. Him not being there as much. And just like always, the fights escalated. Both of them trying to hold onto excuses and drawing weapons from previous fights. He could see the trail of her mascara that leaked from her lotus like eyes, and the way her lips quivered slightly as she played with her hands. This is what usually conspired after an argument. Silence. Until they were willing to look at each other in the eye again.

Just wanna be the best that I can be for you

He continues to watch in silence, but the one thing he had always hated was her tears. The pain it caused his heart was unparalleled, and it was at times like this when he couldn't understand why they argued, but then he remembered. She wasn't his. And he wasn't hers. Not officially. What they had was a silent agreement, a secret somewhat even from themselves. But all he wanted was to be good enough for her. Everything he did, from the crazy schedules to the back to back recordings he did for her. He wanted to be the very best version of himself for her. Because this woman in front of him didn't deserve anything less than that. He wanted to be more for her. Too protect her. Too love her when the time was right.

Drinkin' tequila sunrise while the sun risin' (yeah)

And when they would make up, just like tonight they would order her favourite drink. Tequila Sunrise. They would put aside the words they hurled at each other just to enjoy the moments that had been gifted to them because the fact of the matter was they were rare. Almost scarce. And it was because there lay no officiality between them. They weren't bound to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. They just loved when the time was right, running back to each other whenever they could. And these were the best moments they shared. Sipping on the liquid whilst talking and loving in between the hours they shared, waiting for the beautiful view they were blessed with each time. The sun rising. Marking a dawn of them.

I know what you like

He knew her like the back of his hand. Better even. All of her likes and dislikes, her preferences. Her true character. He knew it all, because she trusted him enough to share that side of her with him. In fact he always took intense care in listening to her, it was a trait that he had carried throughout all relationships, but listening to her was his favourite thing, her voice angelic and soothing with a spark of wisdom every now and then. And everyday he felt more then privileged to know the woman that lay under the persona of Irene Bae. Bae Joohyun.

I could probably give it all to you on side (on side)

She had always been wild. And so had he. After all he was defined as wild and sexy. And every single time, he gave it to her just how she liked it. He was a generous lover, pleasuring her the way she deserved taking her respectfully, because even if the titles were never spoken out loud. He loved her. He had fallen in love with her. And when he loved, he loved with his entire heart, mind and soul.

Take your time, we could do this all night (alright)

He never rushed her. And it was something that Irene had always loved. His gentle nature was loving and caring and more importantly it provided her with the security she had always sought for. Jackson would never do anything to hurt her. He always ensured she was comfortable, he always ensured that she was on the receiving end of the pleasure because god he loved worshipping her like the goddess she was. And every time their bodies tangled he was adamant to make the moment last. Because in each other's arms. Time stopped. Even if it was for a few hours, she was his distraction from work, from his ambitions and dreams to be more. Within those hours they spent loving he ran after his first dream. The first dream his heart had breathed when he first lay eyes on her. To make her his. And on the occasions where they lay in the sheets, tangled in each other, they made the moment last for the entire night until it was time to turn back to reality.

Fendi jacket on you lookin' so right
All bling, got you sippin' on 'Tron

Sitting outside in the cool breeze talking and laughing was always his favourite thing to do with her. Talking about the concerns and worries that ate away at his soul, he found solace in her company, and she always did try her best to ease them. To motivate him like a personal cheerleader, to sing some of his songs softly as she traced his jaw lightly. And every time he felt her shiver against his form because of the cold breeze he would remove his Fendi jacket and place it snugly against her form, ensuring her body didn't freeze in the temperature and that she didn't get a cold. And when she would turn to look back out at the sun that dipped up from the horizon he would smile. A genuine smile, watching as she got excited every time for the view but he could only think one thing every single time and that was how good she looked in his clothes.

Got me thinkin' 'bout you every single time I'm alone

It was true. Every single damn time he was alone, his thoughts retreated back to her. To their silent moments. To their short exchanges, to their hit and misses. He thought about it all. Everything and anything that had a direct correlation to her. He would find himself doing it around his group mates but it hit him more when he was alone. Even when his mind was like a labyrinth trying to focus on his work, especially then, his thoughts would simultaneously lead back to her without warning. His hands would itch to message her to. To call her. To go to her. But he would hold back. Knowing that ultimately right now wasn't their time.

This should put me in a zone, you can hear it in my tone

She had this unspoken power over him. Her name left him breathless gasping for more when she wasn't around and everything was amplified more. His boys had commented more then once about the way his tone would change at the mere mention of her, but Jackson was never the type to hide his emotions. He had been vocal about what he felt for her to everyone but her because he couldn't give her what she deserved. Not yet. Not when his schedule was so hectic, she didn't deserve half ass attempts and when he vocalised that to Jinyoung his voice cracked. Because god, she made him feel so fucking vulnerable at times.

You could tell me what you want, but I already know (I know)

He knew what she wanted though. She wanted him. She wanted to be his, openly. She would never vocalise it though and she didn't need to. Because he heard it every time when they lay tangled in his sheets. And he saw it every time their eyes locked. The yearning for them to be more. For more then what they had. But he was adamant he couldn't. Not yet. Not until he was deserving of her.

One shot, and you got me loose

Alcohol always did this to him. It always loosened him up. But the fact actually was she loosened him up. It was her secret power, the way her laughter captivated him. The way it would ring out slightly would never not release the tension in his body. It was his favourite sound alongside her soft voice that spoke words of wisdom.

Two shot, I'ma tell the truth

After the second drink he can feel the words being forced to his lips no matter how hard he tried to restrict them. He gave in. Wanting to tell her the truth because god she deserved it.

Truth is, I'm in love with you

And this was the truth. He was in love with her. He couldn't pinpoint as to exactly when it happened. He couldn't tell anyone if they had been there from the start when he was an MC at inkiyago, and he saw her, all dressed up in a red dress the first time, a black see through top with white shorts the second time or the purple dress she wore the third time, but every single time through every interview his eyes would remain set on her form. Listening to her lead with elegance, her beauty spell-bounding to the point he felt his breath get caught in his throat. He couldn't tell you if it was at all the parties he had seen her at, whether it was a twice's, black pink, or BTS's events but every single time he was in awe of her. He couldn't tell you if it was when they Mced together in Vietnam, when she stood besides him dressed as an angel, small exchanges between the two on a night that ultimately joined them forever. He couldn't tell you if it was the gym run ins when he saw her with Jennie. But it didn't matter. Because the fact of the matter remained. He loved her.

Woke up to you by my side

And the following morning when reality was supposed to hit, he paused. It was at this time she looked ethereal, her hair sprawled out against the white pillow beneath her, her form covered by the white sheets and shoulders popping out for him to kiss. And he just wished time would freeze again. To allow him this moment of pure ecstasy by her side. He would gently kiss her awake every single time, and she would moan, turning in his arms before crashing into his chest, wrapping her arms around his torso with a beg for five minutes. And every time he would smile and grant her more. Because she deserved the world. And whilst he knew she was more then capable of retrieving it herself he wanted to give it to her.

Pour up, baby, one more time
Let's do it again tonight (yeah, yeah, oh yeah)

And that was their cycle. Call it toxic. Call it pure. But it was something that kept them joined together and that was what counted because even if they couldn't be together now, he hoped that they would soon. But until god decided to gift them with that they would have to make do with the situation, because sometimes staying together is more important than how you stay together. Watching her in the morning made him want to go back and do it all again. To love her senselessly and endlessly without the looming threat of reality mixed with idol life. Neither of them could afford the scandal and nor would JYP or SM be willing to handle it either.

I don't feel like arguin' tonight with you, with you. Just wanna be the best that I can be for you

And so in these moments he was adamant to fight less and to love her more just like she deserved. The shouts, accusations, the words that they would sometimes regret, became minimal, their lovers spat decreasing as they focused on loving each other in the moment. They forgot about the past, and the present focusing on love and laughter, two medicines of spiritual healing that made everything better.

Drinkin' tequila sunrise while the sun is risin'
Drinkin' tequila sunrise while the sun is risin'

She would lean into his chest, as they sat on the balcony to their secret hiding space, drinking the same liquid. Tequila sunrise. While the sun was rising.

Yeah, uh, come and sit with me at the bar
Yeah, uh 来吧和我坐到吧台

He remembered how they had actually first started this. The way he was sitting at  a bar, wishing away sorrowfully, until she had walked over to him and pulled him from the depths of his despair. She was looking for a distraction and so was he. And ultimately they had found that in each other. Despite all sense, that this was dangerous for them both, the way they eased into something so beautiful and evergreen was what made him smile whilst they chatted casually, the formalities dropped and laughter ringing out. Of course he had heard it ring out besides him at the Vietnam Mcing gig, but this was different, personal, more intimate. Because it was just the two of them.

Stay at the bar without going tonight
今晚哪都不用去就待在吧台

That night he couldn't count the hours on his fingers, but the moment was frozen in time. And in each other they lost track of time. He saw her for the first time clearly, laughing at the way people perceived her to be a ice queen who was unfeeling, because this woman was anything but that. She was warm and full of life. Something that he really needed in that moment of time and the shy nature that people spoke about in relation to Irene Bae was non existent. He had asked her about that and her reply that she felt safe with him, igniting something within the very depths of his heart.  And they continued to talk, until they were laughing and teasing like old friends.

Accept your challenge and boldly license me
接受你的挑战大胆给我发牌

He hadn't expected her to be so bold about her feelings. She was open about her attraction to him something he was never expected nor anticipated yet she did so sweetly and the sincerity behind her words made his heart pound against his will and soon, with the subtle teasing they started their game, the flirting, he didn't know If it was the alcohol or just because she was there; but something was unlocked in him, the two become bolder and bolder by the second until he was openly accepting every challenge she threw at him.

Turn off your phone without waiting for him
关掉你的手机不必在等他来

He knew about her thing with Sehun. Everyone did. But they were long over. He was told she dumped him because she had feelings for someone else, did he anticipate that he was that someone else? No. But he could see the constant calls he was sending her. She didn't care, she remained stoic, unphased by the incoming calls as if they were nothing new  for her. It wasn't until things were growing more serious between the two did she switch off her phone, her eyes dancing into his as she smirked slightly.

Review a section of my favorite movie dialogue
温习一段 我最爱的电影对白

The flirting began again. It was easy with her. Never forced and the flow, god the flow was unlike anything he had experienced with other women that had sauntered into his life. They were soon throwing dialogues at each other. It was corny but that was the point, the two silently taking the piss out off each other: but it was in a light hearted way that caused them to double over in more laughter. Her humour had taken him by surprise especially with the way it was similar to his.

Talk about the past and share the future
聊聊过去 再 分享一下未来

They talked for hours. About the past, how they each got where they were, their family lives, how the individuals around them shaped them into better human beings. They spoke about lost dreams, lost chances, lost loved ones, a small reminisce of the past. Until they looked towards the future, talks of ambitions and where they wish to take themselves and their names. And now...their names had been included in each other's future.

I appreciate your appearance, but I love the inner
我欣赏你的外表 但更爱内在

Jackson found himself staring at her. He didn't mean to but how could anyone not. She had this spell bounding beauty that rendered everyone speechless in her presence.

I don't have to fight against loneliness tonight
今晚我不用再和寂寞打着擂台

The loneliness was a feeling that greeted him like an old friend. Especially on nights like this when he couldn't get her out of his head. But especially then he didn't try and fight it. She was home, even if it isolated him in the process it was fine, because she was his end game either way.

Not strange at all, although I met first
一点都不陌生虽然才见第一面

The feelings they shared were never strange and he remembered that first night as something familiar, even if it was the first time that they had properly exchanged words other then greetings, it meant the world. He had questioned it at first. Unable to define what they had. It was unspoken beauty.

Watching you blink makes me feel an electric shock, uh
看着你眨眼睛让我感觉到触电, uh

He remembered watching her as she talked and laugh, but his sights had remained locked on her eyes the entire time. The eyes that had been associated with coldness were warm and full of life in his presence. He watched as her eyes fluttered like a butterfly, and the feelings ignited something else in him. He wasn't sure what, but seeing her look at him so softly was enough to make this feel even more amazing then it already did.

What I want to do later appears in my brain, uh
等会儿想做的事在我大脑里浮现, uh

He remembered the thoughts that flooded his brain as hours turned into more, and as much as he tried to control them, their came moments during their conversation where he blanked out thinking about how good it would feel to have her skin on his as he stripped her from the black dress that had highlighted her ravenous figure. He remembered, thinking about laying in between the sheets, with her wrapped around him as they continued their acts under the suns gaze. And with every look that he passed towards her his composure began to slip more and more each second. He wasn't sure if it was the effects of the alcohol or merely just her presence that awakened those thoughts but god they set fire to the very fabric of his soul and he couldn't help the way his heart frantically skipped a beat in her name.

You can make a wish tonight, not your birthday, uh
今晚不是你的生日也可以许愿, uh

He could vaguely remember her talking about her dreams that night, her silent wishes to be more then a visual. She laughed telling him she knew it was silly. That her beauty should be a blessing and it was but sometimes she felt wronged. Almost like people payed more attention to her face than her true capabilities as a leader and as an idol. She wished that night for as many things as she could and amongst them, she had wished to be happy, her ultimate wish. He remembered her saying she was happy with him and god it made him blush like a teenager boy, but he wouldn't have had it any other way because with her everything felt better.

One shot, two shot, baby, don't stop
I tell the truth every time
我每次微醺的时候 就会说实话

The drinks...
He had lost count. He wasn't sure but with every single one he came undone every second until he was pouring out his heart to her. He remembered how he had vocalised his attraction to her, how he spoke about that time in Vietnam where they hosted together and he admitted to stealing glances at her throughout the night. He talked about how he had wished he was more man enough to approach her then and through it all she had softly smiled at him telling him she had felt the same way.

I won't fall after drinking the last call
喝到last call 我都不会倒下

But the reality is what loomed over them. The reality that this couldn't go that far. He promised himself after the last drink that he would stop thinking about her the way he was, that he would stop falling for her because it was not in his plan. It couldn't be in his plan. The timing was all off. And he wasn't okay with that.

I will take you back to my hometown when I get up tomorrow
明天起床我就带你回我老家

It's funny though. He remembers sitting by her, getting closer and he remembers telling her that he would take her back to Hong Kong, of course she had been there for tours but when he asked her if she had time to explore she had responded with a deflated no. He vowed that night to take her there. To show her all the best places that his home town could offer, to introduce her to all his friends both inside and outside the industry and he had even spoken about her meeting his family. He told her how his niece Amy was a massive red velvet stan and how much she adored Irene and through all of his plans Irene's smile never once diminished, equally enthusiastic to go on this journey with him,

Oh just let me make your difficulties simple, all right, all right
哦就让我把你的困难变的简单,

He remembered promising to stand by her side through all of her pain, the pain that he could see she desperately tried to hide from everyone he wanted to make all her issues non existent, to make her burden less. And he wanted her to be able to confide in him wherever and whenever.

I am the brightest star in the sky to accompany you, all night, all night
我是天上最亮的那颗星陪你,

He remembered pointing up at the stars once they left the bar, as he wrapped his arms around her to provide her with warmth, he remembered the way she had leaned back into chest in the same way she did now with a smile on her face as he told her he wanted to be her brightest star, that guided her whenever she needed the help. He wanted to be what guided her back home, back to him and he had promised just like that star he would watch over her dutifully, even if it had to be done from a far, even if it had to be hidden from the cameras around him, he was okay with that as long as she was happy and safe.

In my show time
在我的
Please don't go away
请不要走开

He remembered one night prior, when he was performing alongside his boys, he performed effortlessly whilst watching her from the corner of his eye as she bopped to the beat and sang to the words. She looked like she was his, and god it felt good. But he could remember wishing that moment would never end, that she wouldn't let go.

Give you a tequila sunrise
给你调一杯 tequila sunrise
Happy mood change
心情变更愉快

He remembered her telling him that Tequila sunrise was her favourite drink, the orange colour brought a dazzling smile to her face as it was placed in front of her, her mood lifted. She had called it her energiser, as it made her happy. He remembered laughing, telling her that it was probably just the alcohol concentration but seeing her so happy and so carefree made his heart pound violently against his chest again.

Untie my belt oh, oh, oh
解开我的皮带 oh, oh, oh

And he remembered the last half of that night. The way they rushed to his room, the way their lips met over and over again. The way he had undressed her delicately and lovingly, kissing every curve of her body as she shuddered under his touch. He remembered pushing her up against the wall as she unbuttoned his shirt, running her petite hands over his abs before pulling him closer. He remembered the way she wrapped her legs around his waist as he picked her up with ease heading towards the large bed that lay in the centre of the room. He remembered how she grew impatient as she shoved the shirt away from him pulling him closer as he kissed and sucked along her neck. He remembered her soft moans as he explored her, memorising every feature of hers. He remembered moving back untying his belt as they moved further. He remembered her begging for more. He remembered the way she arched slightly, clawing at him back. And he remembered that night as the best night of his life.

This is as good as God, and God is too good at this Ridin' in Northern Cali, we bumpin' to LudacrisLovin' this Cali weather, I want it to last forever

She was like a goddess walking on earth, and he felt blessed every time he was given the chance to worship her, the weather around them felt like a typical California day, and it was perfect, and Jackson had always wished that these moments lasted forever between them.

I know forever don't ever last, I ain't new to this
Takin' the 105, thinkin' 'bout you and I

He wanted her. Forever. He wanted to be the only man that loved her like this, and she had given him that privilege. But they were a ticking time bomb. They both had too much to lose and they were in the process of losing each other. He can remember the way he sped down the motorway, his hand resting on the steering wheel, eyes trained on the oncoming traffic yet still, he could only see her. He could only think of her. The passion that lay between them. Everything.

Hold this up by myself, there ain't no you and I

And the fact remained. They didn't have any titles. What they had was something that didn't have a name and that hurt because he had to battle with the realisation, with the knowing, that realistically there was no her and him.

I get it, I get it, I admit I ain't enterprise
Lost it when you had cried, this is how doves cry

He had remembered the way she had cried when he said that he couldn't. And god he lost it. It hurt him to have to do this, but he couldn't have her completely; not yet and as much as he hated the constant separation neither of them could risk it. He knew she knew that and he also knew that's why she cried. It was cruel. Too lovers helplessly in love but not together. In the law of the universe it didn't make sense.

Anyway, back to business

He had to get back to work. So did she.
They had to get back to reality. He had been busy with recording both his solos stuff as well as Got7 related stuff and she had been busy with her world tour. And he was so proud of her, she was doing so many new jobs, and her name was being spread like wild fire across the world, and he couldn't wait to meet her half way.

Life is so cinematic and optimistic
Less aggressive with the pursuit of women

He had always seen life as beautiful, but in her he found it picturesque. All the times he would think previously to setting down, the way he felt pressurised to do exactly that fell out the window. He had her. Even if it wasn't completely, he had her and she was the only woman for him. She was the only woman he could picture himself settling down with.

And I go the distance, but I know my limit

He knew his limits. Especially when he would ask around about her through the girls of twice and black pink. He was careful with the way he said things, and he limited himself to asking too much knowing people would grow more and more suspicious if he was to question more. It hurt him, not always knowing how she was, but he remained calm and stoic in the eyes of others, and god was he a good actor.

I love the idea of a marriage, but I'm too specific

He loved the idea of getting married to her. Even if he knew it was too soon, he could imagine her walking down the isle clad in a stunning white gown, with her hair hung within a veil. He could imagine himself as he watched her walk towards him, United for a life time and he could only see that future with her. And he would wait for the day in which he could turn her last name from Bae to Wang.

And I'm too suspicious
I like ghetto women with opinions
Then I like a proper woman with her daddy pension
And the mother features, so my children get it

But he also knew how suspicious he was. He wasn't sure if she was feeling the same way anymore. He wouldn't be surprised if  she didn't because he had strung her along for almost over a year now, and even if he did love her he wasn't sure if that was enough for her, not with the way he was treating her. But he could still only see her. Irene Bae. Being his wife, and later the mother of his children. He just hoped that she would hold on a little longer for him.

I'm in it just to win it, so I guess I want exquisite, yeah

She was the definition of exquisite and she was his endgame and he would win her in the end, because they were inevitable. They were Irene and Jackson. For now and for ever.

Jackson looked down at the lyrics he had put together, a smile on his face as he read them over. "What?" Jinyoung asked. "Nothing I just finished writing another  song." "Another one about Irene?" He asked, laughing slightly. Jackson glared at him. "Leave me alone."

The end.

Word count: 5265

Authors note:
Hey guys as promised. I was going to write this. I hope you all enjoyed it, let me know if you want to see more of these types of one shots. I'd love to hear some feedback so please do comment your thoughts. Lots of love and best wishes to you all. 😊