Requested by:gaeteol
Prompt: Got7 'If you do'

https://youtu.be/T0iPB_JyS5g

If you do it, it's GOOD, if I do it, it's the end

How can you said I'm wrong every day?You only want to win, tears are your ultimate weapon
He doesn't remember how things suddenly changed. He couldn't tell you how swiftly it happened yet all of a sudden they fall without even realising. She becomes different. Far from the woman he loved and he can't pinpoint how it happened. The toxicity that coursed through the veins of their relationship transported poison to every single fibre within their bodies. A spurt of disease know as love turning dark. He had noticed her temperamental behavior, the way her double standards increased, the way she would lash out to the point where things would become unsalvageable, the constant taunts and snide remarks she would throw...she wasn't the woman he loved, and he feared he had lost her. And somewhere under that he feared he lost himself by trying to love her. By trying to save what they had. Her tears always what hurt him the most, it was his weakness, because there was a time where he cherished every single drop that fell from her lotus like eyes, everything about her for him was sacred because in his eyes she was always a goddess. He hated seeing those tears shine in her eyes after every argument, and she hated seeing his, yet over the years, she became the reason for them, she became the one thing that hurt him more than anything else in the world. Because nothing else could hurt him in the way she did. After all he had given her the power. She used her poised words against him in every argument, she brought back wounds of the past that they had tried so hard to put run and it was what she used as her shield against him, and he was left trying to fathom as to why? Why had she built so many walls around herself? Why had she shut him out to the point his voice lost all sound? He couldn't work out where they had gone wrong. All they did was love, and even that wasn't enough any more.

At first I fell for you confidence

But every day I'm on my kneesYou magnify even my slightest mistakesAnd pushed me to the edge of a cliff
He can remember meeting her for the first time. The way the confidence oozed of her being. She was self assured, she was calm. She was peace. She was Irene after all. The way in which they fell into each other. She was always resilient, and he saw it in everything she did. The way she stood up for what she believed, the ways she held herself was exactly what drew him in, yet the flicker of vulnerability that flashed in her eyes was what drew him in the most. Yet it seemed he hadn't realised the depths of it. He had seen the way she had desperately tried to fix others, when her own hands were shaking. He saw the way she wouldn't give herself enough time to heal when she was faced with onslaught. He saw the way she sealed the wounds of others whilst she stood bleeding. He saw the way she would force a laugh so no one caught the hurt in her voice and eyes. He saw the way she gave her time to those who didn't deserve it, and he also heard the way she broke at night, and he realises that under her pretence, under they years of emotional abuse she lost herself. He was the only one trying to hold onto her. To ensure she didn't slip from his grip and so she used her words as weapons to push him away, to create a wall between them. Yet he saw the woman he loved standing next to he corpse that was left in front of him, and he had vowed to bring her back, even if it meant killing himself in the process. He took every ounce of poison she had administrated with a smile, gulping it down so she wouldn't have to. And he stood on the edge of the cliff to ensure she wouldn't fall off. And in the process, through what he called love...he hurt himself more.

Well, I still love you anyway, that's why I can bear it

He promised himself he would deal with it. For her. For them. He stood in front of her as a protector, stood behind her making sure she wasn't touched from behind and he stood by her side as a friend. As a lover. He didn't know how to love. He didn't. His first experience of love was her. Her smile. Her eyes. He didn't know how to love her right. How to make her pain stop. Yet the difference was whilst she gave up, he never stopped trying to learn how. Because in his eyes she deserved the world, and he would be the one to place it at her feet. And she smiled once again, she loved once again, and he thought everything had finally been fixed, that he had been successful in his endeavour to retrieve the woman he couldn't stop loving. Because the minute he did, he would be condemned to death. Because her name translated to love. To life.  But once again, like a light switch, everything fell through.

Every day

Every nightFeel like a foolYou gotta know
Every single aspect of his life was consumed by her. Every single day, through his own hectic life his thoughts revolves around her, channeled into his work. Into his music as an escape. As a breather. Where he could finally say what he felt. And thought of her didn't just stop there. They wouldn't. They carried on into the depths of the darkness as the sun fell from the sky, a black blanket wrapping around their world, engulfing him further into the darkness where she lay scathed and bleeding. It was at times like that, where he could finally see her raw. The soft begs, the silent pleas. The emotion that she was so used to hiding from...only when the world fell away did she expose that, only for the morning to wash away any remains of the previous night.

If you do it, it always become the right words
If I do it, I can't win
Suddenly you become a different person
When everything's okay I get even more nervous

The thing that would annoy him to know ends was the way she began to manipulate situations. The words she would say were always win in the grand scheme of things, his own accounting for nothing. And when things began to settle he felt his heart beating in anticipation for the next blow. And he couldn't understand when things had gotten so twisted. He wasn't even sure if it was love anymore.

To you they're friends, to me they're only jerks who
Could be flirting with you
If you do another mistake, it's okay, if I do it huh

He had always naturally been protective over her. Of course he would when he had such a goddess of a girlfriend, and it wasn't her that he didn't trust it was the men around her. The way they would talk to her, they way the would act in front of him hurt. And she? She didn't pay attention to the hurt she administrated, watching with a smug look as he looked on at the scene, ignoring the questions that spurred from the depths of his soul. His bruised and battered soul in her love. Was love supposed to hurt this much? It wasn't. But what baffled him more was when the roles were reversed, the way she would suddenly lash out and not speak to him for days, because whilst he trusted her. She didn't trust him.

I wish you wouldn't go this far but you just can't stop

And suddenly one day he caught something. She was openly being abused by those around her, and then he realised. The constant pushing way, the constant pain, it all made more sense. And he saw the way she began to dwindle. The way she spiraled further down the whole. And it hurt. Because she can't stop, and he doesn't know how to save her, or them.

Now I say in my sleep that I'll be good
When there's else nothing to say you always say "I'm gonna sleep"
I'm frustrated with no one to talk to
Sometimes I delude myself that I'm trapped

And when that realisation hit him, he promised himself that he'd be good. He would be better and he would give more then he was already giving to her. The depression that she fell into was something horrifying. For everyone. The spark within her eyes had diminished, her strength to live seemed non existent  and that was exactly what scared him the most. The way she would sleep for hours unmoving, the ways she would lock herself in the bathroom. Everything terrified him because he couldn't lose her. And then he made another discovery. He was just as trapped as she was. If not more.

If I do
If I do
No matter what I say
You always say "Let's break up"
So I can't get closer to you
So I can't love you more

The walls had become to high. Now the only person who could save Irene, was Irene herself. He pushed himself back into the light he had forced himself into for her, so she wouldn't be alone, and as he took a step back he prayed it would be the momentum she needed to pull herself back. He gave up. But people wouldn't understand how much it took out for him. He was the type of person to give endless chances, to always have your back and he accepted her the way she was. And so if he decided to give up on her then he hoped that she would understand that it took everything that was left in him to leave her alone.

Can we just go back to what we were before?

Months had morphed into years, and he had heard she had succeeded in saving herself. He had reprimanded himself every night for abandoning her when all she needed was something constant but he was relieved to see the woman he fell in love with shine through. Her lost confidence, her ability to love had once again had been resurrected and watching her from afar brought a smile to his face. And just a day after her birthday he ran into her. He saw the ways her eyes shone again as she spoke and he could see the love for life return. He watched as she spoke about small things she had been doing and he was grateful that she had found that. He continued watching her intently suddenly seeing the way her eyes changed as she looked up at him. "I'm sorry Jackson." She spoke. "You were so busy trying to save me from the depths I was in that I couldn't see that I was drowning you too. I'm so sorry that my love suffocated you when all it was supposed to do was be there for you. You had been there for me even when I pushed you away. And I'm thankful for that. I'm thankful that I had you in my life." He smiled at her, his heart pounding at the soft declaration that he yearned for. "I did it because I loved you Irene. I still do." He paused stretching out a hand. "Can we do this again? We were perfect for two years Irene. Beyond perfect. And even if we did fall apart, you and I are inevitable in so many ways. Because even if we turn away from each other, our destination is still the same, and it always will be. My journey started and ends with you. And you only." She stepped forward caressing his face gently. "I don't want to hurt you Jackson. Not again." "Even if you break my heart into a million pieces, nothing can change what we have..." he pulled her hand to his chest, where his heart lay. "Because this heart has belonged to you since day one. Use it, play it, love it. Do whatever, after all it's yours." He watched the way her eyes watered. "And mine is yours. Let's do this right." She spoke he hand pulling the nape of his nape closer, their lips finally meeting in a promise to love each other right because if you do love right then it's the best feeling in the world.

The end

Authors note:
Hey guys hope you enjoy this request. Next one is coming tomorrow so stay tuned. Do leave your thoughts below. Lots of love and stay safe x