Two weeks after I picked up Ralph, we got some good news regarding Kate.

Tinawagan ako ni Tita sa office para sabihin na bumubuti na ang pakiramdam nang anak niya.

I was glad to hear the news not only because it was a good sign na gumagaling na si Kate but mostly because halata ang relief sa boses ni Tita Cristy.

Mula ng kunin ko si Ralph, lagi kaming nag-uusap sa text.

Minsan umuwi ako at sinabi ni Destiny na dumaan ito sa bahay.

May hinabilin itong freshly baked lemon cake at nagdala din nang isang bag nang cat food.

"She was surprised to see me." Kuwento ni Destiny habang naghuhugas kami ng mga pinagkainan.

Who wouldn't be? Naisip ko.

Malamang nagtaka si Tita kung bakit may kasama akong babae sa bahay.

"I was going to tell her I'm your cousin or something but then I remembered what you said about incest so I told her I'm your friend."

"I'm glad you didn't add the words...with benefit," Pabirong sabi ko bago inabot sa kanya ang plato na bagong banlaw.

"I should have done that. See what her reaction is." Sinakyan niya ang sinabi ko.

"Then her mind will spin with ridiculous ideas that's for sure. She can be a gossip." Kinuha ko ang mangko na nakalublob sa planggana.

"Can? Or she is a gossip?"

"What made you say that?" Binuksan ko ang gripo at binanlawan ang mangko.

"Experience." She took the bowl at pinunasan.

"That and the fact that when I opened the door, she had that look. A look that says, who the hell is this girl?"

"That's Tita Cristy all right." Binuhos ko ang masabong tubig bago binanlawan ang planggana at sponge.

"Other than that, she's really kind. She also likes me."

"Do you think she knows why you and Kate broke up?" Sinampay ni Destiny ang towel sa handle ng oven door.

"I don't know. Maybe?"

"Do you think she'll like you less if she knows the truth?"

Tinaob ko ang planggana sa lababo bago ko siya sinagot.

Lumakad si Destiny papunta sa sala at tumabi kay Ralph na nakaupo sa sofa at nanonood nang bird videos sa TV.

"Not a lot of people know about it and..." Pumuwesto ako sa tabi niya, "I don't know a lot of people."

"What about your dad?"

"Oh yeah. He doesn't know anything."

"If you really want to do this, you have to let him know." May bahid nang sermon sa tono niya.

Pareho kami ni Destiny nang kuwento pagdating sa pamilya.

When she was sixteen years old, umalis siya sa bahay nila at tumira sa lola niya sa Saskatoon.

She grew up in an abusive home.

Alcoholic pareho ang parents niya.

She has two other older siblings—Dallas and Brooklyn.

Ang kuya niya fall prey to the same vice.

Ang ate niya naman, lumayas kasama ang boyfriend nito.

Naiwan si Destiny to take care of herself and to endure the abuse.

Pero dumating sa point na hindi niya na nakaya.

Ako naman, I grew up with my father.

Separated sila ng mommy ko dahil mabisyo si Papa.

She met someone when I was fourteen and she filed for divorce para pakasalan ang boyfriend niya.

Sa Vancouver na nakatira si Mommy and she has two kids with her new husband.

Close ako kay Papa but I had difficulty telling him I was gay.

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin sa kanya ang tungkol kay Jesse kaya naghintay ako until seven months into the relationship.

I was worried na baka idaan niya sa pag-inom kapag nagsabi ako sa kanya about my relationship with a girl.

Hindi nga ako nagkamali.

Si Papa ang tipo na hindi kikibo kapag galit siya.

Dinadaan niya sa inom o sa sugal.

That was what happened after I told him about Jesse.

I texted him a few days after I came out.

Nang hindi siya sumagot, I came by sa bahay.

Sure enough, he was passed out on the couch with the empty liquor bottles all over the living room.

"I wish everything is easy. Just like us." Inakbayan ko si Destiny habang naghahanap siya ng mapapanood na movie sa Netflix.

Nakakaduling dahil ang bilis niyang mag-scroll.

"Just because I slept with you the first time we met does not mean I'm easy."

"I wasn't talking about that." Depensa ko.

"Then what are you talking about?"

"Being with you is less complicated. I can tell you about stuff and you get me."

"Then why aren't we together?"

"I don't know. Brenda asked me the same thing."

"You tell her about us?"

"She's a friend and we're really close."

"Do you tell her about...?" She let the words trail off.

"Do you think I kiss and tell?"

"I don't know. I hope not."

"Would you be offended if I told her about what we do in bed?"

"Depends on how graphic the details are." A small smile formed at the corners of her lips.

Natawa ako.

"If you can share intimate details about us to Brenda, then you can tell your dad about you." She challenged.

"First, I don't tell Brenda about what amazing things goes on in my bedroom when I'm with you. Then, if I tell my father that I want to change my name, he's going to lose it. Or he's going to drink it off. The most possible scenario will be, he would no longer consider me as his own. I have no doubt about that."

"Is that really what you're worried about? That he won't be able to handle the truth?"

I met her stare.

"Jack, I know how important this is to you. But if you're not going to confront your fears, you would not know what others are capable of handling if you keep giving them excuses not to face the truth."

Since I came out, nagbago ang treatment sa akin ni Daddy.

We used to be really close lalo na nang iniwan siya ni Mommy.

Ang tawag niya sa akin sidekick niya.

Ako daw ang kakampi niya sa lahat nang bagay.

I took that role seriously.

Magkatulong kami sa mga gawain sa bahay.

I did the laundry, made sure the house was tidy but there was one thing na siya lang ang gumagawa—cooking.

We bonded while gardening or shoveling the snow kapag winter.

Pabilisan nang pagpapala ng snow.

He made things fun lalo na ang pagsashovel dahil that was not easy to do lalo na in subzero temperatures.

I tell him stuff about school but when it came to my feelings for the same sex, I find that I couldn't.

Nagdadalawang-isip ako.

It wasn't only because I was afraid of what he will say but also because I did not want to disappoint him.

My father relied on me on a lot of things.

I was his support system.

I grew up too fast because I knew someone was counting on me.

It was one of the things na napansin ni Mommy kapag nagi-stay ako sa bahay niya during summer vacation.

Ang sabi niya, I'm a kid.

Dapat daw i-enjoy ko ang pagiging bata.

I once told her that it would have been easy if she didn't leave us.

Hindi siya nakakibo.

Kapag dumadalaw ako sa kanila, I feel like a celebrity.

I get the first class treatment.

Bukod sa pinagsashopping niya ako at sinasama sa mga mamahaling restaurant, kapag kumakain kami, ako muna ang pinagsisilbihan niya bago ang dalawa niyang anak or ang asawa niya.

Minsan, nagtanong ang stepbrother ko kung bakit ako ang laging nauuna.

Why do I get the best part of the food bago daw sila?

Ang sagot ni Mommy, dahil daw sa ako ang eldest.

That time, gusto kong mawala sa kinauupuan ko.

Hindi nakatingin si Mommy kaya hindi niya napansin ang pag-ismid ni Rick.

"I will be your sidekick." I turned my head to see Destiny staring at me.

"When the time comes and you're ready to tell him, I will be right behind you."

"Promise?"

"Yes."

"You're not just saying that because that's what I wanted to hear?"

"No. Besides, I don't make promises lightly. When I make an oath, I take it seriously."

"Alright." Inabot ko ang cellphone na nakapatong sa coffee table.

"What are you doing?" She leaned closer and watched while I swipe down on the screen.

"I need proof of this conversation." Tumayo ako at kinuha ang black Sharpie sa halos walang laman na bookcase.

"Give me your hand." Inalis ko ang takip nang permanent marker.

"What are you going to do?" Kinuyom niya ang kamay. Natakot.

"Trust me on this."

"You're not going to do something stupid aren't you?"
"Of course not." Sagot ko.

"Now, give me your hand so we can seal the deal."

"Okay." Nakakuyom pa din ang kamay niya.

"Open them."

"What are you going to do?" Ayaw pa din niya buksan ang kamay.

"Just open your hand and you will see."

"Fine."

"Now close your eyes."

"What?" Babawiin niya sana ang kamay pero nakahawak ako sa braso niya kaya hindi siya makawala.

"Now I'm starting to get scared."

"Promise. This is not going to hurt."

"Come on, Des. You have a tattoo on your ribcage. This is way more painless."

"Do I have to close my eyes?"

"Yes."

Her breath was shaky when she exhaled but she close her eyes.

I began to write on her palm.

She would occasionally pull her hand back but I told her to be still.

"You don't want to mess up my masterpiece."

Pagkatapos kong sumulat, I told her that she could open her eyes and look.

"What the hell?" Natatawang sabi niya ng makita kung ano ang sinulat ko.

"Now, I have to take a picture. It will last longer."

"I don't know what you're aiming for but okay."

"You have to raise your right hand."

Napailing si Destiny pero sumunod din naman.

"Ready," Inakbayan ko siya and then I press the shutter.

"Let me see," She grab the phone and we both look at the image.

It looked like I have her in a chokehold with the way I was holding her tight but we were both smiling.

On her palm were the words Jack's sidekick forever punctuated with a black heart.