MORE SPOILERS OF SEASON 4 LOVES

(Y/N)’s POV

The scene replayed in my head, it going dark then suddenly going bright, pictures of Izuku floating through my mind, then making impact with the ground, holding Eri. I sat on the cold floor, unable to move as Izuku quickly went back into the fight, seeing the green haired male skewered. I held onto my aching body, and Mirio limped by dragging Eri, telling her she’d be saved and I stopped him quickly, finally back down to earth.

“Lemillion!” I coughed. “We need her. She’s special.” I stated, pointing to his wounds that were making progress in closing. “I’m only alive because she saved me.” He stopped and looked at her then me. “She’ll be able to help Iz-” A voice cuts me off and Eri starts walking back towards the battle field. I hop up, trying to go after her. ”Eri! He’s lying!” I yell, staggering towards them. I watch wide eyed as Izuku yanks the spike in his leg out and yells that he will indeed save Eri, crushing the spike in his hand. In a matter of seconds I’m flown back into Mirio from a huge gust of wind.

“Sorry..” I grumble, moving off of him. I finally looked around at the scene that unfolded and gasped as I finally caught sight of Eri leap to grab Mirio’s cape. The villain and his henchman separated from her touch and I could almost feel the power of her quirk at that moment. I watched Izuku jumping up to her and she threw herself off the pillar she had been on.

“Eri!” He yelled, boosting himself up to her. With bated breath I waited till he grabbed her, watching him get torn up on the way. Once she was caught, it was almost like time slowed down before there were twisting blocks of cement that was shot about them. I couldn’t look away as I feared for their lives, I wanted to so badly, but I was frozen, watching. He has Eri! He’ll be safe! I cried internally. The determined look on his face terrified me.

“Izuku…” I whimpered, before watching him take course and start breaking through the cement meant to torture him. And as the guy was nearing Izuku and Eri they vanished, the whole area collapsing and breaking in their wake. I felt the air that was blown from their speedy escape, as the dragon hero shielded us all from the impact.

“Where’s?” I couldn’t manage to choke out his hero name, but I knew that's what I had to call him on the mission to the pro heros. “D-Deku? Where is he?” I sputtered, looking around.

“Chisaki!” I heard Ochako shout, and I looked over to the villain, realizing that was his name. He stood and fixed his arm, stumbling around talking about Eri.
“He won’t go after us… He’ll go to the surface after Midoriya and Eri, then.. He’ll kill Midoriya and escape.” Nighteye said softly through breaths. It took all my might but I stood up at the news, and Ochako started turning after them.

“We can’t let it- ugh!” She groaned, hitting the ground. I stood on trembling legs, and took a deep breath, seeing Izuku flying through the sky and started running. It was hard, the pain from my body, telling me not to, but I couldn’t. I need him, I need to get to them. I heard the guy talking to us about not going after them, but the dragon hero had started to stand.

“We can’t just hang around!”
I was quickly shifted to the side as Ochako used her quirk on small bits of scattered ground. Dammit. I groaned, hitting the ground and looking back up to see Izuku out of sight.
I turn to see the green haired male tell Froppy to go get Mirio and where he was, and he told Ochako and Ryuko to get him to the surface. I sighed, and made my way back to them.

“We gotta go now.” As I made it up to the surface I see Izuku clutching his stomach, and then Chisaki started to make the ground shoot up at him once more. He started talking about her quirk and what it does and I gasp. If he stays by her he might die. I’m pulled back to the scene as his hair starts flying and the unbearable amount of power rushes through the area from them. As the fight progressed I stayed hidden to the side, waiting for it to end. For Izuku to be safe and for Eri to be okay. It was hard to deal with it, the intensity of it all. Can I actually be a hero? It's hard just being on the sidelines.. I turned my head back and watched more, despite the nagging in my head that told me not to. I could tell from the look on Izuku's face that it was getting stronger, as it turned to slight worry.

“He’ll be fine.” I whispered, trying to reassure myself, but I know, deep down.. He’s not going to be. I looked back and saw Izuku standing and Chisaki laying out cold. My body limped as nothing but relief filled my veins. I heard the male talking about how he had seen defeat and Midoriya's death, yet Midoriya changed the outcome of his vision. But a second later I stopped, hearing Izuku cry out in pain. I looked up and Ochako had already grabbed Chisaki and pinned him to the ground, and my eyes frantically scanned for Izuku again. He was down on the ground, and once the others came up to the surface, his cries of agony stopped and Eri fell over on him.

~~

I sat on the curb, waiting for Izuku, as he was taking care of getting Eri to the paramedics. I saw all the stretchers coast by and I couldn't help but cry. I wasn’t hurt, just low on stamina and I felt terrible. I wished I had been the one in their places, they didn’t deserve such a bad outcome. I’m no hero…. I thought, the feeling and flashes back to that moment coursed through me, causing me to cry more. “Izuku… I’m sorry..” I whispered, holding my head. He went through so much more than us… And he was there, smiling as he went around checking people. Worried, sure, but you could tell with each person he was just grateful. While in my saddened trance I barely registered an arm wrap around me, and in a split second I was in a lap. I looked up to see Izuku, smiling as his eyes watered. I could almost see a reflection of what he saw at the moment that had been on my mind. I hugged him tightly, crying myself. “I’m sorry! I..I’m…” I cried into his chest as he cradled me.
“No… I’m so sorry….” He whispered back. It was a harsh reality, worse than the villain attacks on school. Way, way worse. We were hit with the realization that death is very real, and being a hero means we could face it. We just sat in silence, until we were told we’d be having to leave. It hadn’t even been a full hour, yet it felt like an eternity that the fight took place. Standing up, Izuku held me tighter. I blushed, and tried wiggling from his grasp.
“I’m not setting you down. We’re going to go to the hospital together.” I nodded slowly, letting him carry me.

~~

Sitting in the room with Izuku and his doctor was a bit hard, as I kept trying to keep my focus off his exposed torso. How the hell did I get so lucky? I thought, peering over at Izuku as he avoided the topic at hand. The door opened and Aizawa looked in, motioning Izuku to follow him. I got up determined to stay by Izuku through this. With my help, we got his suit zipped up and off we went. I followed in my own thoughts as Izuku and Aizawa talked about the conditions the others were in. As we neared a room, I looked up at the hand out in front of me.

“Miss (L/N). Stay out here.” Aizawa said sternly. I nodded and leaned up against the wall. It's no use, my quirk isn’t good for helping. The best I could have done was kill the guy. And heros don’t kill people. That's the furthest thing from being heroic. I could have maybe thrown big blocks to explode at him, but doing that could have hurt anyone else… In my sad thoughts I found myself walking back to the school. I’m just not hero material. I nodded and walked in. I’ll resign and go to a regular highschool. I sighed sadly and headed to my dorm and started to pack.
“I’d talk to Izuku, but he’s too stubborn to listen…” I huffed, sitting on the bed looking at the bag of books and other small things I already had packed. My door opened causing me to jump and look over. Shoto stood in the doorway.

“You were gone for a bit, as well as Midoriya. I was gonna come say happy anniversary to you guys. I take you guys celebrated?” It was like he hadn’t comprehended what I was doing, and I started to shake, holding my breath. Izuku Midoriya….. I looked down, staring at my hand. The hand that was 5 centimeters from him when I died. He was the last thing I saw. Twice… The worried look on his face was the last thing I saw before it went dark.. Then he was the last thing I saw before I would have descended. I died on our anniversary. I was laughing, I was sobbing, and I was the most confused I’d ever been.
“(Y/N)?” I could hear my name being called in unison, but I couldn’t stop. I rubbed my arms, as it finally sat in. How? The feeling of death was cold, it wasn’t right. And I couldn’t get over it, I never thought of how maybe Izuku felt when he saw me. I was grabbed tightly and picked up. I didn’t look. I couldn’t face anyone.

“That’s enough Midoriya and Todoroki. I’ll be talking to her.” I heard a slightly unfamiliar voice then footsteps leaving and some coming closer.

“I’m not putting her down.” Izuku… I cried harder, holding him tightly.
“Young Midoriya, please.” I was sat down slowly.

“Okay All Might…” He finally spoke, kissing my head and walking out. I moved to grab his retreating hand, missing it by a little.
“Why do I always miss it by a few centimeters?” I cried trying to bring myself to look at the small form of All Might as he sat down.

“Sometimes, it's as close as us heros can get.” He smiled. “But we mustn't get discouraged. We can always save people, even if we don’t know it.” His words reminded me of Izuku’s confession, 3 months ago. “How are you?” I gulped, thinking about it. How am I?
“I’m… sad, confused… I don’t know how I am…” I finally admitted.
“What were you thinking?” A gruff voice called from the doorway and I looked up to see Aizawa standing there with an intense glare. I backed up, wide eyed. “I got your text, I'll take care of this.” He walked in and All Might quickly left and shut the door. I played with my hair as my anxiety shot through the roof at his words. “(L/N), why would you be so reckless?” I balled my fists, fear leaving my body and my tone quickly matched his.

“I knew Izuku would be the only one that could defeat him. And if I hadn’t done anything Izuku would have been hurt.” Aizawa’s face held no emotion as he looked at me.
“So? And? Couldn’t you have used your quirk?” I shook my head.

“If I would have I could have hit him when it exploded!” I huffed. “I'd do it again. It’s going to scar me mentally, but I’d do it. It was part of the reason she was safe. Because Izuku was. I’d even do it if she hadn’t been there.”
“Listen to yourself.” Aizawa said, looking at me intently. “I mean, are you listening to yourself?” I looked down. I’d do it again? Yeah, I would…
“Yeah, I’m hearing myself fine.” I nodded, looking at him, taking a huge breath as I wiped my face.
“Then what’s with that?” He pointed to my bag. “If you’d act heroically, why are you packing?” The question quite literally froze me.
“Because my quirk can’t help…” I whispered. He nodded and I saw him grab out his phone.
“I’m going to get you into a special class, you’re going to learn martial arts.” He stated, standing up. “Unpack that pathetic excuse of leaving. And don’t talk about what happened with anyone outside of the group.” He walked out, shutting my door. I stared down at the bag and laughed. 
"Pathetic…" I unpacked, ignoring all the thoughts that tried flooding my senses. They could wait, no time to be sad. I need to think about the extensive training I'd be going through. "I wonder what type I'll be learning…" I wondered out loud, putting a picture of Izuku and I on my wall.

"Type of what?" A voice chirped, causing me to turn and smile softly at Izuku standing in my doorway. My eyes pricked as tears threatened to fall, I bit my cheek in protest as I opened my mouth to speak. Nothing came out and he walked in, shutting the door and picking me up in a hug.
"You're really here… It feels like a dream to hold you." His voice expressed that he was crying. I held him tightly as my feet dangled a little from the floor. It's real, I'm alive, he's alive. "I almost gave up when it happened…" He whispered, moving me till I saw his tear stained face. "But I knew you'd kill me if I didn't save her.." He laughed dryly, fresh tears leaking from his green hues. "I need to be stronger. I can't lose you, I need to be your hero." He kissed my face repeatedly, causing me to blush, not used to this sort of physical attention.

"I love you." I whispered after he settled down. "When.. when it happened… Memories of you filled my mind. Not even my parents.. Just you…" I looked down, unable to look at him. I felt him give me a warm kiss on my forehead.
"I'm sorry you experienced that. I wish you hadn't." He took a deep breath and just hugged me. His hugs could cure cancer… I hugged him back tightly.

"I'm sorry I scared you…." He smiled. 
"It's alright. It's over."
"So… Aizawa is going to be putting me in a martial arts class." His eyes lit up.
"That's what you were talking about! That'll be great for you." He smiled enthusiastically, causing me to smile.

2,523 words. Hell yeah!