breathe
breathe

you don't know how to talk to them
to anyone, really
not even to this reflection of yourself in the screen

the thought of it makes you run a little colder

makes you fidgety

makes you want to do anything but that

and you know you have to do it
you have to get used to it
you have to get better at it
everyone else is

but it's still...
well
it's still not what you'd choose to do
preferably ever again

you've done this before
but this time, it's even worse
because you know you'll have to watch yourself doing it
and so will everyone else

you'll have to watch yourself stammer
and shift
and struggle to remember it all

you'd rather have been on stage, honestly
nothing to hide behind
a one-and-done operation
say whatever comes to mind, and forget

but instead you sit
in a night-shadowed room
with veins of ice and trembling feet
and hit record
and talk

and just hope you said enough