wake up tired

(like you always do, you fool
you should know how it goes by now)

the weight in your eyes rarely fades
and when it does, you're too distracted to notice

it's been too long since you had a true long rest
and yet you can't convince yourself to sleep
too much to do
a little bit of homework
a little bit of writing

and somehow half the night slips away

but even if you didn't make yourself suffer this way
you know you still wake up tired
and inexcusably so, this time
because you had your eight hours

you ought to be well rested

well, I'm not

///

things slip my mind
more often than I know

that day I promised to call you
the letter I forgot to write
the meal I was never hungry enough to eat

people turn that against me, sometimes
and I have no real way of knowing
until I do remember
and they tell me I remember wrong

I can't trust my memory much anymore

too many flaws

too many little bitty errors

a structure on the verge of collapse

I didn't choose it for myself
I'm sorry