A SUMMER TO REMEMBER

- this story is written for a writing contest in Dessert Graphics Page (Facebook)- 12/03/20

Genre: Teen Fiction

Unang tapon ko palang ng tingin sa kaniya ay alam kong malulusaw na agad ako.

Isang tingin lamang sa kulay abong mga mata niya, naliligaw ako mula sa reyalidad.

Everything feels surreal and good. This might sound optimistic but just even a slight glimpse of him, I felt all my problems fades away.

"May bagong student!" anunsyo ng class president namin.

Nagka-gulo ang lahat dahil sa simpleng anunsyo na iyon. I was also curious pero hindi ako makikisabay sa ingay na ginagawa nila.

"Ano sa tingin mo, Van?" biglang salita ni Cassy na nasa tabi ko.

"Huh?" wala sa sarili na tanong ko.

"You weren't paying attention! Nagtanong ako kung ano sa tingin mo ang gender ng transferee? Babae o lalaki?" hindi mawala sa mukha ni Cassy ang pagka-excite.

"Baka bakla o tomboy," natatawang sagot ko sa kaniya.

Napasimangot siya sa akin at lahat ng nakarinig sa sinabi ko.

"I hope it's a guy."

"Well, I hope he's handsome!"

"Napaka-KJ mo, Vanessa!" nagpipigil-inis na sabi sa akin ni Cassy.

Inirapan ko siya at tinuon ang pansin sa binabasa kong libro sa mathematics. Ano bang pakialam ko sa gender ng new student na iyon kuno. Ano bang pakialam ko sa itsura no'n or kung sino siya.

Wala namang magbabago sa buhay ko kung aalamin ko kung anong meron sa kaniya, hindi ba!

Maingay ang paligid pero nagawa kong tapusin ang pagbabasa sa lessons namin sa math sa darating na mga araw.

"Kailan daw papasok ang transferee?" narinig kong tanong ng kaklase ko sa class president namin na nasa harap ulit.

"Baka mamaya. Hindi ako sure, basta sinabi lang ni prof na may transferee daw-"

he was cut off when the door opened suddenly and in the unexpected moment.

Ang iniluwa nito ay si Professor Belen na may hawak na folders or whatever habang may nakabuntot sa kaniya na isang lalaki.

"Siya na yata 'yan," narinig kong sabi ng isa kong katabi.

"That's the transferee?"

Napuno ang classroom namin ng bulungan dahil sa kasama ni Professor belen na lalaking naka-hoodie at ang mga kamay ay nasa bulsa.

I have to admit that I became curious about this new student. He wasn't showing his face because of the hoodie. But his physical appearance is obvious. Ang pangangatawan niya ay sakto sa edad niya.

"Students, settle down," our professor said to everyone.

Umayos naman ang lahat, surprisingly. Maybe because they want to know the guy so bad.

"Mr. Andrada, kindly introduce yourself to everyone," sabi nito sa lalaking mukhang nakayuko lang.

I saw all my classmates are intently watching the guy and his every move. I do, too. I became curious and I hate it.

Inangat ng lalaki ang isang kamay niya na nasa bulsa ng hoodie kanina at pinatong sa nagtatakip sa ulo at mukha niya. Unti-unting tinanggal.

I want to assume that he was looking at me and it hit me.

Siya si Matthew Andrada. My ex-boyfriend!

He gave out a smirk and I almost couldn't believe my eyes.

He's the boy I spent my summer with.

"How are you?" he asked.

SUMMER OF 2018

Nakaupo kami sa taas ng burol. Nakalatag ang isang picnic mat.

My head is in his thighs, while he sat comfortably there, I was lying at him, him serving as my pillow.

This is the first time that I am able to rest after a rough high school. Weeks ago we graduated high school.

"Matt..." tawag ko sa lalaking seryoso ang mukha habang ang kamay ay nasa buhok ko.

"Hmm?" he hummed, questioningly.

"Naalala ko, hindi ka nag-paalam sa magulang mo na aalis ka-"

"I told you, don't mind them," he cut me off.

Napa-kunot ang noo ko at napa-upo ng maayos dahil sa sinabi niya.

"Stop disobeying your parents, they only want what's best for you," mahinang sabi ko. His parents think what's best for him is him being far away from me.

"I don't want what's best for me, then. I don't wanna talk about this again, Vanessa," he said ending the topic.

He called me Vanessa. It means he's damn dead serious. If I try to interfere with his decision, he won't like it.

Tumahimik nalang ako kahit ginugulo ako ng mga nag-aabang na kailangan naming harapin pagkatapos ng masayang pakiramdam ngayon.

Hindi ako bumalik sa pagkaka-higa sa kaniyang hita pero nagulat ako nang hinila niya ang isang braso ko na sumusuporta sa pag-upo ko at pinahiga ako muli sa kaniyang hita.

"I love you so much that I'm willing to sacrifice my parent's wants for me. I'm willing to give you all the things you deserved," bulong niya at pinagpatuloy ang paglalaro sa buhok ko.

Mariin akong pumikit. My parents supported me, alam nila ang lahat at hindi sila tutol sa nararamdaman at kung anong mayroon sa amin ni Matthew. But his parents doesn't like my family for some reason.

There's no point in sugarcoating every truth. His parents doesn't just want Matthew to have a better life, they also want a better girl for their son. And clearly, I will never be that better girl.

"I know you are still thinking about not being the better girl, Van. I told you many times but you can't make this words stay in that pretty head of yours. You're not better, you're perfect for me..." that sounded music to my ears.

It sent a million pleasure to me. Ang sarap sa pakiramdam, ang saya. Kaso katumbas naman nito ay dobleng sakit sa susunod kaya natatakot akong maging masaya.

Alam ko, pag malungkot ako, hahanap-hanapin ko ang pakiramdam na ito kahit alam kong hindi ko na ito mararamdaman pa.

"You will always be the one for me..." he whispered to my ear.

I was in my bed after a long day with Matthew. I felt blissful. Hindi nga lang makatakas ang isipin na sinesermonan na siya ng kaniyang magulang dahil sa muling pag-sama sa akin.

Humiga ako sa kama ko kahit medyo makalat pa ang sahig ko. Nakakalat ang mga papel at mga damit.

I put all of my hands in my face as I was rummaging around my head and my heart all the good things I felt.

Hindi ako malaya. I know that. Kahit sobrang sarap sa pakiramdam ng lahat ng bagay. Hindi ako pinapatahimik ng konsensiya ko. I don't want to have a relationship with Matthew like this.

May mga tumututol. May mga tao na may masasabi. Hindi kami natatahimik, hindi ako natatahimik.

Napabalikwas ako at napa-atras dahil sa tunog na nang-gagaling sa bintana ko.

May aswang ba? May kumatok sa bintana ko!

Sisigaw na sana ako ng tulong mula sa labas pero nakita kong may isang figure mula sa bintana ko. Parang isang tao.

Hindi ako kumilos, pati nga pag-hinga ay hindi ko na nagawa. Pinagmasdan ko lang ang pigura na nasa labas lang ng bintana ko.

Maya-maya ay kumatok ito muli, ang pusta ko ay nakaharap na ito sa binatana ko pero hindi ko siya makikita dahil sa kurtina na humaharang.

It might be a thief or anything. Pero hindi naman siguro kakatok ang akyay bahay, hindi ba?

Dala ng curiosity ko, kahit na posible akong mapahamak. Lumapit ako sa bintana. Hindi ako gumawa ng kahit anong ingay.

I heard murmurs from the window. Parang nagrereklamo kaya alam kong hindi ito basta magnanakaw.

Patakbo akong lumapit dito at itinabig ang kurtina.

Isang nakakunot at nakabusangot na si Matthew ang bungad sa akin.

"Finally!" I think I see his mouth formed this.

I sigh and gently opened my window and let him in.

"What the hell were you doing. It took you fifteen damn minutes before you open the window," he ranted when he was able to sit on my floor.

"Malay ko bang ikaw ang nasa bintana! Akala ko nga may akyat bahay!" I exclaimed. Ako pa talaga may kasalanan?

"May akyat bahay bang kakatok?" he sarcastically asked me.

Ngumuso ako. Naisip ko na iyan pero hindi na ako muling nakipag-talo pa.

Inayos niya ang sarili niya. Pati ang malaking back pack na dala niya. Nataranta ako dahil sa dala niyang bag.

"Bakit may dala kang bag? Lumayas ka sa inyo?" tanong ko kaagad.

"I'm staying here for-"

"No!" tumaas ang boses ko at pinutol ko ang sasabihin niya.

"You can't just runaway from your house, what will your parents think, Matthew?" naiinis at naluluhang sabi ko sa kaniya.

"I told you I-"

"You don't understand! Nirerespeto ko ang desisyon ng mga magulang mo. You're making this so difficult and-"

"Can you please listen to me first?" mahinahon ngunit nakakatakot na putol naman niya sa hindi matapos-tapos na sermon ko.

Tumungo ako dahil sa pikon, pag-alala, takot at iba pa. Hindi ko na alam kung anong dapat kong ramdamin.

"I will just stay here for the night. Pag-gising mo bukas, wala na ako dito. I assure you that. If this is about your parents, h'wag kang mag-alala, wala akong gagawing masama sa'yo. If this is about my parents, the heck I care about their decision. They never respected mine," he grumbled as he took his leather jacket off.

"But..."

"No more buts. This is just for the night. Uuwi rin ako bukas, mom would freak out," sabi niya at hinila ako papunta sa kaniya kaya sabay kami bumagsak sa kama.

Inayos niya ang pwesto namin. Pinahiga niya ako sa dibdib niya habang ang isang hita ko ay pin-westo niya sa kaniyang mga hita.

"We shouldn't be close like this... We're too young," bulong ko sa kaniya.

He was just staring at me while playing with my hair.

He really has the habit of playing with it. Ginugulo pa nga niya minsan kapag kontento ako sa ayos neto. Nakakapikon kung minsan, minsan rin nama ay balewala nalang sa akin. Nakasanayan narin kasi.

"17 is not young," he just said.

I raised an eyebrow and looked at him weirdly.

"17 is young! Tignan mo hindi manlang tayo pantay pa sa 18. Kapag nalaman ito ng mga magulang natin patay tayo!" mataas ang tono ng boses ko nang sinabi ko sa kaniya ito, ngunit sapat para marinig lamang naming dalawa.

"It's not like we're doing anything wrong. We'll just sleep. Patay tayo? As long as I'll die beside you, I see no problem with that," aniya habang seryosong nakatingin sa akin.

"You're hopeless..." pasuko kong pahayag. Ang hirap makipagtalo sa lalaking ito.

Hindi rin makatakas ang kakaibang kilig na nararamdaman ko sa sistema ko.

"Paano ka makakaalis dito ng hindi nahuhuli nila mama?"

"Simple. Kung saan ako dumaan pa-punta dito, 'yon rin ang lalabasan ko," sabi nito na parang napaka-simpleng bagay lang ang ginawa niya.

"That's dangerous!"

"I brought a ladder with me," may bahid pa ng proudness sa boses niya.

"You-"

"Yes, it's just hanging in there. If the wind decides to be a bitch and flew it all the way down, looks like I'll be facing your parents' wrath," he chuckled.

"Okay sana kung ikaw lang ang haharap. Paano ako!" naka-kunot ang noo na tanong ko.

"Woah. I feel the love. You're so concerned about me, aren't you?" he mocked and his other hand went all the way to his chest, pretending to feel his heart.

"This is serious, Matthew..." pinilit kong gawing seryoso ang mukha ko.

"You called me Matthew," he stared at me.

I looked him like he was so stupid or something.

"Pangalan mo Matthew, 'di ba?" naiiritang tanong ko.

"That's me."

"You- you know what? Nevermind," hindi ko rin tinuloy ang nakakainis kong explanation sa kaniya ng maalala na ang nakasanayan niyang tawag ko sa kaniya ay Matt.

"Sungit. Are you on your monthly period?" he chuckled.

Nainis ako lalo sa kaniya. Dahil sa halakhak niya pati narin sa pag-banggit niya ng monthly period ko.

"Bakit? Gusto mo ipunas ko sa mukha mo ang pasador ko?" pang-iinis ko sa kaniya kahit ako rin ay inis na inis na sa kaniya.

Wow, word of the day... Inis!

"You're disgusting, tsk. I should work on that," he tsked.

"How?"

"Every bad attitude you show, I should punish you with a kiss," he said and licked his red lips.

Namutla ako. Hindi dahil sa ayaw ko. That was a tempting temptation but, sorry for him, I'll hold back.

"Alam mo, nagiging manyak ka na!"

"Now you're accusing me of being a maniac. Let me remind you that I have never kissed you in your lips."

It was true. "But still..." ngumuso ako.

"Magiging manyak talaga ako kapag hindi mo inalis 'yang pagkaka-nguso mo," pang-iinis nanaman niya.

"Tang-" he cut me off.

"One curse word. One kiss. I dare you, continue your words..." he said and smiled wickedly at me.

Gusto ko siya sabugan ng mura. Gusto ko kaso ayaw ko naman mahalikan ng wala sa oras. I'm messed up, I want my first kiss to be romantic.

"I know you're already cursing me in your mind. Should I give you your punishment for that?"

"Matulog ka na nga lang!" napipikon at namumula na sabi ko at umalis sa pagkakahiga sa dibdib niya at gumawa ng distansya pagitan sa amin.

He just chuckled. Sa sobrang inis ko, sa sobrang inis at pikon ko, sasabog na yata ako. Kaya bago pa mangyari iyon at magkagulo kami dito at mahuli nila papa ay tumalikod na ako sa kaniya.

I fell asleep right away. Ayaw ko pang umalis siya, paggising ko wala na siya pero kinain na ako ng malalim na antok.

He was true to his words. I woke up earlier, hoping that I might catch him before he leaves.

It's 6 ante meridiem and he's already gone.

Pakiramdam ko lumamig ang pwesto kung nasaan siya kagabi. Parang walang humiga rin doon kasi maayos ang pagkakalatag ng bed sheet doon.

Did he sleep? Anong ginawa niya buong gabi?

Tumayo ako at agad na sumilip sa bintana na dinaanan niya. Baka pala nahulog na iyon kaya parang wala na siyang paramdam agad.

There was no sign of him coming from outside to inside. Hindi ko rin maintindihan kung paano siya nakaakyat gamit ang ladder niya.

I shrugged. Sana maayos siyang nakauwi. Kung nagasgasan siya o nasugatan, paniguradong panibagong sermon nanaman sa kaniya at panibagong bad point nanaman ako sa parents niya.

I stretched my arms and looked for my phone. Nakita ko agad ito sa bed-side table, so I grabbed it.

Pero nang kinuha ko ito, may isang papel sa ilalim.

I took it right away and read the note there.

'I left on midnight, sorry something came up. I love you so much, keep that in mind.

- Matt'

I was just staring at the note he left. Nalaman kaya ng magulang niya na nandito siya kagabi? Maybe they went to his bedroom to realize that he was gone last night.

Panibagong araw nanaman iyon na ang dami kong iniisip. I wasn't just thinking about I and Matt's relationship. I was thinking about what would I get in college.

I wasn't really that type of student who prepares myself on my course. I don't really know what I want in life. Maybe I just don't see myself 10 years from now, successful and yearning for more power.

"Enrollment is days from now, Van. Anong kukunin mo?" my mom suddenly asked while we were eating lunch. And for me, brunch.

"Hindi ko pa po alam..." mahinang sabi ko.

Iniisip ko rin kaso wala talagang pumapasok sa isip ko.

"Ano? Anong balak mo?" tanong ni papa pagkatapos uminom ng tubig niya at nagpatuloy sa pagkain.

"Hindi ko po talaga alam," sabi ko at sumubo ng kanin.

"You better settle out your goals and plans. Ano ba gusto mo, h'wag na mag-aral? Mag-aasawa nalang tapos magiging housewife? Mas mahirap 'yan kaysa sa pag-aaral," sermon sa akin ni mama.

Muntik na akong matawa. Kaso nakakabastos iyon. Seryosong tanong iyon kaya baka pitikin pa nila ako sa bibig.

"Hindi naman po kaso... Hindi ko talaga alam kung anong kukunin ko."

"Why don't you ask that boyfriend of yours? He can help you. Baka naman balak ka na niyang bahayin n'yan," kahit alam kong joke lang ni papa iyon, hindi maalis sa kaniya ang pag-didisagree sa theorya nilang balak ni Matt.

"He won't do that. We're too young to be in that situation."

Atleast, he won't and will never until we are settled down.

"He better. Or I'll make it hard for the both of you," my dad glared at me.

Tumango nalang ako.

That's another day of waiting for his calls and messages. It was always like this when summer time came. Noon kasing may pasok pa ay lagi naman kami magkasama since same strand lang kami.

I don't want to initiate the communication between us. It would just make me look like a lovesick fool. And he might mock and tease me for that.

Night came fast. Still, he hadn't called me or left a simple message. I was getting worried about him.

So, I swallowed my unnerving pride and I typed out a message for him.

Ako:

Matt?

That was it. I waited for him to reply. But it didn't came. So I decided to call him.

It was just ringing but it was left unanswered.

Ang daming pumapasok na hindi magagandang bagay sa isip ko kaso ayaw ko ng ganoon.

I left him several messages just in case he just left his phone or lost it somewhere. I fell asleep with worried thoughts of him.

Maya-maya ay nakaramdam ako ng isang haplos ng malamig na hangin sa mukha ko.

Noong una ay hindi ko ito pinansin kasi kalahating tulog pa talaga ako.

The wind shushed down right away, kaya hindi ko narin binigyan ng pansin.

Pero maya-maya rin naman ay pakiramdam ko lumubog ang kama ko sa isang gilid.

Kaya kahit inaantok pa ako ay namulat agad ako at nakitang may isang taong nakaupo sa gilid ng kama ko.

Dahil sa sobrang gulat ay napatayo agad ako at binuksan ang ilaw.

I was about to shout then I realized it was just Matt.

"Matt?" I called out and rubbed my still sleepy eyes.

"Shh," he shushed me while he was sitting at my bed, removing his shoes.

"What happened? I was trying to call you and I left many messages that you haven't responded to, yet," lumapit agad ako sa kaniya at tumabi sa kaniya.

"Mom found out that I wasn't in my room last night. He took all my gadgets and forbidden me to enter my bed room, so I took the guest room. I was not allowed to leave the house, too," kwento niya habang inaayos ang mga hinubad na gamit.

"Paano ka naman nakatakas? Baka malaman nanaman nila!" natatarantang sabi ko.

"I don't care. I ranaway from home," sabi niya at ngayon ko lang napansin ang malaking bagahe na nasa paahan ng kama.

Nanlalaki ang mata ko habang nakatingin sa bagahe niya at pabalik sa kaniya.

"What were you thinking?" mas lalo akong nataranta.

He pulled me into his arms and looked into my eyes. Pakiramdam ko matutunaw ako.

"Runaway with me, Van..." he gently and huskily whispered.

"I... I can't do that," iling ko at kinagat ang pang-ilalim na labi ko.

He nodded, but he didn't let go of me.

"You respect your parents and I respect your decision, I would be the one to leave this god-damned place. We will still meet on the same spot, okay?" he was pertaining to the hill that we always spent our idling days in.

"Where will you go?"

"I bought my car with me. Probably, one of my friend's house. I already called him," aniya at humiga sa kama ko.

"When will you leave?" tanong ko at humiga sa tabi niya.

"Excited to get rid of me? That hurt," sabi niya at narinig ko ang mahinang tawa niya. I can't see his reaction since we were lying straight.

"Matt..."

"Kidding aside. I'll leave while you are sleeping, to avoid any conflicts," sabi niya.

Tumango nalang ako.

That was enough for me to sleep since I was really sleepy. I felt him move from beside me and left a kiss on my forehead and a whisper of I love you.

Paggising ko ay wala na nga talaga siya. Malamig nanaman ang tabi ko.

It's another day of waking up alone.

Naghahanda palang ako sa araw nang kumatok si mama ng ilang beses sa pinto ko.

"Van! Open up!" sigaw ni mama mula sa kabila.

Pumunta agad ako doon para pagbuksan siya ng pinto.

"Ma?"

"Si Matt..." hinihingal na sabi ni mama.

Nalaman na siguro ng lahat na lumayas si Matt sa kanila.

"What about Matt, ma?" I asked casually.

"Matt... Matt got into an accident," mom dropped it out like a bomb.

I couldn't believe my eyes. I was just dreaming. I am just dreaming.

"I'm Matthew Andrada, 18 years old," pakilala ng bagong estudyante sa aming lahat.

"Matt..." nabulong ko nalang sa kawalan.

Napatingin siya sa akin kaya nagulat ako. Malakas ba ang pagkakatawag ko sa kaniya?

I don't understand what's happening! He is dead. I see it with my own eyes.

"Yes, miss?" he asked me.

Miss. He called me miss.

"Kilala mo, Van?" tanong sa akin ni Cassy.

Nakatulala lang ako sa kaniya. Hindi ko alam kung anong dapat gawin o sabihin. But I'm wishing he was true. Or maybe I was just hallucinating.

"You can sit down, Mr. Andrada. And guys, I would like to remind you that Mr. Andrada came from America. He was also medicated there so some of you may know him, and he might not remember you," our professor answered my question.

Parang pagkasabi niya ng 'he might not remember you' sa akin tumama lahat. He might not remember me.

He sat in front of me. May vacant chair kasi doon.

He settled down there and later he looked behind him, he looked at me.

"How's life, Van?" he asked me.

Hindi ko alam kung kilala niya ba talaga ako o narinig niya ang nickname ko sa kay Cassy kanina.

Hindi ako sumagot dahil sa gulat, sa inis at sa taranta.

But after all that has happened. I didn't regret all of it. He gave me memories that I loved so much. It made me a better version of me.

I don't know if he is really true. But this time, his second chance in life. I will make sure that I will still be his girl.

It was a cruel summer for me. He gave me a summer to remember.

-END-