I know I haven't posted in a very very very long time but I'm going through something that you can't imagine but here we go...

   These days haven't been easy... yet I still smiled till yesterday. I don't understand anymore, and I can't take it. I'm to the point where I wish that I was never born in the first place. I feel the my mom hates me, that my sister hates me, that my whole family hates me. Sometimes I think that they always have to be troubled because I'm there. I mean, if you don't like the way I act then don't take me anywhere, you always say that yet you take me anyways. If you don't like the way I am then you should have never given me birth in the first place. If you don't like me and ignore me then why am I here?

   Every little thing about me you complain. The more I try, the more I get rejected. I feel the my sister hates me, because she never said it, not even once. Why think she hates me because she never says it? Only because every time we have to see each other we fight, every time I do something wrong I get screamed at but when she does it she doesn't. I feel like she does things on purpose to make me get screamed at. All the things she's done to me, I still had the audacity to say I love her. I've tried my hardest to not get her mad at me, to make her not fight over the smallest things. But it never works because all I do is make things worse.

   My mom told me yesterday we were going skating, so we went. My dad promised to go skate with us but when we got there, he broke that promise and never skated. I got mad, and then I stopped skating. My mom told me I'm a waste of money, that she should have never brought me there, that she was going to through away my roller blades. So I was going to start to cry and she said if I did, then she'd hit me. She tried forcing me to skate when I didn't feel like it at all. So I tried to tell my sister if she would go with me but she ignored me and went by herself. She doesn't care for me, no one does. My mom then said she would NEVER take me skating again, that all I am is a waste of money. Sure, blame everything on me without even knowing what I feel. What's the point on the lung you everything when you won't listen to me!? Why do I exist when all you do is make me feel sad, bad, and horrible!? Why did you give me birth!?

   The next day, today, they act as if nothing ever happened. Who wouldn't get even more mad because of that? I know some of you wouldn't, but I'm different. So my mom asks for soda and my sister goes and grabs a wine type of cup because my quinceñera passed, and she gives her soda there and I tell her to give her a proper cup because the last time I gave her soda in that cup she screamed at me because she said that I was too lazy to wash a cup and so on, and my sis said she didn't care and gave my mom soda in that cup... guess what... my mom drank it and didn't scream at her like she did to me. I got so mad at that, like why did you scream at me and not her? My sister goes to me and does a movement like "ha" or "nothing happed" or " see? I didn't get screamed at, that's what you get". My blood was raging in anger. I've never disliked my sister sooooo much in my whole life!!

   I feel that everyone thinks that they can only scream at me. I feel that everyone ONLY wants to scream at me. It's like they never wanted me to exist, that they didn't want me to be there. I ask to God, why me? And he only says wait. I know this all happens for a reason, I tell the lord, can't you show them what I feel? I ask that once I'm gone, that's where you'll care right? Because I do so much for my parents but o get nothing back in return. I ask my sister for favors and she doesn't do them even after so much I've done for her. So I promised to never do anything for her in my life, so yesterday she asked if I could do something for her and I told her no. She got mad after that, and I thought to myself,  'that's what you get and now you know how I feel'

   I don't understand, but now I can't smile anymore. I've tried my hardest to keep on smiling, to be happy, but that won't happen anymore because now all I feel is

                                         PAIN

Thank you for reading this chapter and for reading my story, I hope you have a great day. And while you were reading this, on the other side of the screen let me just tell you... that I was crying and in pain. If you have something in common then I would love to hear what you think too, bye-bye everyone.