I wonder... I wonder a lot. Will you listen to me? Will you at try to understand me? I wonder if you really take my words in consideration. Mom... why are you so against it? Why don't you like it? It's my passion and you should at least try to understand. You haven't gone to a single concert, and you tell me I'm not dedicated. You tell me that I'm just there to mess around and be with my friends. How would you know if you've never even seen me in action? Who are you to judge, when you've never even tried to see me? I wonder...do you really care? Do you really support me in this? Mom, band is my passion, it makes me the person I am now. So why pretend? Why pretend you support me? I clearly know how you feel. You don't have to hide it, nor do you have to pretend. You act like I'm the bad guy, disobeying your orders in not joining band. But how could I obey? It is something I love and i show a lot of passion when I play. I try many and many times to tell you what I really feel, but you just won't listen. So, I've stopped trying to get you to listen. Every time I open my mouth, you have to say something to make what I say backfire. First you tell me to leave band and just stay on chorus, and now you're telling me to quit both? That's unfair. I don't understand why you have to make things so difficult. All you have to do is just listen. I don't understand as to why you hate so much on things I love to do. I see you support my big brother even if he has given you as many battles as i have. I don't see why you're not against my sister, but wait... I do know...it's because you know that's their passion. So why not support me? I try to explain to you that we can solve this together, but you're just so against band that you don't even want to hear. Just because you are the parent doesn't mean you don't have to listen to your children. Mom, this is probably a message you will never see or hear from me at all. I am going to write what I've always wanted to tell yo... well... here goes nothing...

    " hey mom, I would like to tell you that band is my passion, and I will do what ever it takes to stay there. You cannot stop me from being in there. why do you hate band so much? You say I'm there just for fun? Well you're wrong. How can you say stuff like that when you've never really been to my concerts? How can you say that, when you've never even seen how dedicated I am? Mom please, stop throwing all that nonsense speech you always give me. If we don't have money we can always talk it out with the teacher, maybe he can help. He even says he doesn't want me out because I am so dedicated and so focused, and that I sound amazing. He said it was a gift from God to be able to play clarinet like that. I'm no professional, but I am always working hard to do my best. I'm just trying to make you proud, but clearly you take no interest in that. You say I don't have to be in band to just to play and instrument. Its different from being by yourself. Its not the same at all. The feeling of being in a band is undescribable! Mom, the feeling I feel in band is love, kindness, and a family. It is the best feeling in this world! You can't complete those feeling by yourself, nor can you make them by yourself. That is something you will never understand. Now to chorus. Before you would always say to get out of band and just stay in chorus, and now you're saying to get out? You said it was beneficial, you said it would help me accomplish my dreams. now you're telling me no? I don't get you mom, I don't get you at all. Sure I want to become a singer, but band is something that has always motivated me, and has always kept me standing. I know I'm one of the back-up singers at church, but that does nothing. This lady is always selfish and thinks shes the only good singer there! Shes not teaching me anything unlike chorus. Whats the point on giving up now? Didn't you always say never give up on your dreams? To keep looking forward no matter what others say, and now you're telling me to stop doing what I love? I cry for both of these, I pour out my soul in these two things, just for you to say give up? I'm trying to make you proud, can't you see? Can't you at least try to understand? I know these words are never reaching you, and I know that even if they did, you'd still say the same, because that's just how much you're against it. Mom I don't know what I did wrong, or how I disappointed you if i did, but I'm sorry. I cant just give up now, so even if you try you won't succeed, because i will pray my soul out so you wont take me out of any of them. please mom, just for once...please...listen..."

    These are all true and sincere words. I wish my mother could just hear me for once... I wonder... will you listen to me? Will you try and understand me? When that day comes, I will try my best to explain how I feel. Thank you guys for reading such a boring book like this, i hoped you enjoyed, and maybe this can also relate to someone...who knows, but what I do know, is that there is always someone out there, also going through what I'm going through. And when your time come too, then i wish you best of luck.....