When I was nothing but a crazy, side-show circus attraction

Dropped from the land of the white people to the country of my origin,

People kept laughing.

I'd look down, reaffirm with my very own eyes that I was clad in the typical, horrendous school uniform that every Ali and Abu were wearing

But every time I'd look back up, my eyes - they would see more nudging and pointing and laughing as if

I'd somehow accidentally dressed myself a clown, a muse for their entertainment, their laughter, their amusement.

People were eating popcorn, not literally, but I could see their mouths were full with words to say, names to spit out.

"Alien!" they called me, "Mat Salleh! Invader! Penjajah!"

They'd whisper about me behind my back in Malay, a tongue they thought I had not mastered.

A tongue, in fact, I understood too well.

"He's gonna infect us with his Western ideals and liberal opinions."

"He'll spread the word of English and overpower our beautiful national language."

"He'll CHANGE us. For good."

"But I was ten."

Sometimes, I'd go back home with a Zinger burger and a can of coke in my hands and

The local makciks and pakciks would shake their heads, judge me for apparently being too "Western" when in reality, I was just hungry.

In contrast, they'd smile instead if I purchased some jambu or rojak or cendol to eat.

"He's finally becoming Malaysian," they'd say, as they'd finish eating their Big Macs and fries.

But the ultimate crime laid in the rejection of rice.

I had not been raised on eating rice in the cold streets of Manchester where I had been born, so

Trust me when I say it's nothing personal, except

People take it too personal, as if I was discriminating the country, critiquing the nation's culinary background and identity and tearing away my very own "Malay" label, yet

At the end of the day, it was just rice.

Once upon a time, I felt proud talking to the "white people" you seem to misjudge as a conundrum of messes and corrupted ideals

And I'd tell them the story of Malaysia, boast about our orang utans and rafflesias and tapirs,

Show them pictures of kuihs and lauks and ketupats while trying so hard to control my quaking stomach,

Happily express how we lived as one despite being of different races and ages and majors and

I'd love to tell them that everyone is just so friendly.

But now?

Now.

It's complicated.

We need a change.

And no, I do not propose we westernize our country

(There's beauty in the east too.)

And no, I do not wish to liberate our country from our own ideals, but rather

I'd wish we were all just pandas.

If we were all white, black and Asian,

God knows the fighting would've stopped eons ago.

There would have been no bad names and racial slurs and sloppy misjudgments and insecurities galore and

Maybe

I would have learned to fit in peace instead of being in pieces.

A/N: Hi everyone!

So, this is the poem I recited for the first round of the poetry slam, which initiated my whole dive into this whole thing, which is crazy amazing, haha. I don't think it'll be easy for me to forget my experience of being on stage and being pelted by so much love and applause haha. I got off the stage shaking because I felt it was surreal.

Now, I know I've received some good comments regarding my poetry, but every time I do receive another compliment, it's always shocking because...At the end of the day, I'm just your typical nineteen year old student, studying Software Engineering while writing poetry as a means of expression.

Thank you so much by the way for everyone's support, especially cleverwren and charmed-life for helping me out with all the proof-reading and giving me their comments on my recitation of it.

I'll send you the links to my performances, if you wish haha, of  which there are "Hi, I'm a Man" and this poem right here. So, when the organanizers have posted them up, I'll notify you peeps.

Until then, I'd like to thank you all again for reading and wish you all a wonderful day ahead of you! :)

P.S: As suggested by A_Poetic_Kill, I think it'd help every non-Malaysian to understand this even more if I provide everyone with a glossary of sorts for the Malaysian-local terms, so here we go. :)

Ali and Abu - Your typical Malay names, John Doe and Jane Doe if you must, except these are both male names.

Mat Salleh - A white person, basically.

Penjajah - This is a little hard to describe to be honest, haha, but if it's Googled translated, it means colonialist, except it's more strong, especially when used as an insult.

Makcik and Pakcik - Auntie and Uncle, except they don't have to be your Auntie and Uncle biologically. It's basically for every middle-aged woman/man you see.

Jambu - Guava, which is something Malaysians commonly eat. We usually sprinkle it with this orange/brown-ish powder called 'asam' for flavour.

Rojak  -   Another kind of Malaysian food that's hard to describe, so here's a picture to help you guys out haha.

Cendol - A typical Malaysian dessert that, trust me, is absolutely scrumptious. Here's a picture. Btw, those green things are rice haha:

Orang Utans - I think you might know what these are, but just in case, there are primates. Their names literally translate to "Forest Men", haha. Here is an image:

Rafflesias - Extremely large flowers that are endangered and are local to Malaysia. They look pretty but smell horrendous.

Kuih - Malaysian desserts, basically. They are of various types, and I'm not really too sure how to describe them.

Lauk - Like a side dish, kinda.

Ketupat - The cutest things ever haha. Rice wrapped within a diamond-shaped leaf pouch thing. We weave these ourselves haha.