I used to be the master of cheese.

Used to be the symbol of sap and never looked back.

I used to crave to be the wind,

So I may surround you, tussle your ebony locks of hair in amusement,

Give you relief from the afternoon heat,

I'd wish to cover you in my chilly embrace, wrap myself around you,

Inch by blessed inch, heart to beating heart,

For it is not easy to let go.

I used to see music in your laughter,

Feel maracas shake within my stomach at every touch,

Used to nod and shake my head to every jingle you never knew you made,

Stimulated by whatever lame puns I could concoct.

And trust me.

If I could have turned myself into Google right there, right then,

I would have done so in a heartbeat.

I'd hunt jokes

Over thousands of servers per second,

Serve line upon line upon line for you,

Just to see you laugh and smile and laugh and smile and

Be you.

I used to put off wearing glasses,

To ensure I knew you for you and not simply by

Your charcoal eyes that burn bonfires of passion from deep within me nor

By your button nose which takes every conscious thought for me not to squeeze nor

By your lips I wish I can stop looking at every time we talk,

For love knows no such thing as physical boundaries.

It transcends emotions and spirits and

I want to make sure that, one day, if I do go blind,

I'll know you by the touch of your hands, your warm breath upon my skin.

I want to memorize your hand as a map, hold it close to me and

Trust me.

If I could choose to be a girl for you,

Maybe I would have

Could have

Should have?

Because it's a shame we're in a forbidden love where

Love stops being magical and

Gender roles play an actual role and

You and I are just not

Physically compatible.

"I'm sorry, I just don't feel that way around boys."

And my words ultimately collapse.

I used to be the master of cheese.