If you love someone, feel it, speak it, show it, be it.
If you don't feel inspired to show your love in this multidimensional manner.... Be kind enough to let them go, so they can find someone who will. - Steve Maraboli.

Chapter Thirty-Four: Screwed

“There you are. Didn't you hear me calling?” Char's mother asked.

Char resisted the urge to check her fly was closed, even though she couldn't one hundred percent remember zipping it up.

“Mom. Hi. Um, no, Daniel and I were busy discussing a thing.”

Leslie's gaze went from Char to Daniel and back again.

“How are you doing, Mrs Winston?”

“I'm fine, thanks, Daniel. Thought I should pop in and check on my daughter. I didn't know you were going to be here.”

Daniel opened his mouth to answer but Char beat him to it. “Things are going well. Really well.”

She risked a glance at Daniel. His hair was mussed and his T-shirt rumpled, the fabric strategically bunched in front of his crotch. He looked as though he'd rolled out of bed, which, in a way, he had.

I rumpled that T-shirt. I gave him the hard-on he's hiding beneath that T-shirt.

It was almost inconceivable, and yet it had happened. Her heart was still pounding, her body still throbbing with need. Daniel had wanted her.

Daniel.

Her wildest dream come true.

Her mother shifted the strap of her handbag higher on her shoulder. “How are you, honey?” she asked Char.

“I'm fine, mom. How was your night at the office?”

“Eventful.”

Daniel cleared his throat. “Char, I might leave you two to catch up for a bit. I've got some business to take care of.”

His face was shuttered, utterly unreadable.

“Um, sure.”

He nodded to her mother, then turned and headed for the door. She stared after him as he walked out.

“Char?”

Her mother's words jolted her focus back into the room. Char blinked, turned to her mother.

“Sorry?”

“What's going on?”

“I told you. We were discussing some things.”

Her mother crossed her arms over her chest. “I didn't come down in the last shower. I know what I walked in on.”

“Mom, nothing's going on.”

Leslie sighed heavily. “All right. Keep it to yourself. But just remember, Daniel's going through a difficult time right now.”

“I know that.”

“Men do strange things when they come out of long-term relationships, Char. Whatever is not happening between the two of you, make sure that you're both on the same page. I'd hate to see you get hurt.”

“Nothing's going on.”

“Hmm. Come on, let's go make breakfast.”

Char followed her mother downstairs, watching a little impatiently as her mother prepared some omelette.

“I hope you're following, Char. As a woman, you need to learn how to make at least one dish.”

At any other time, Char would appreciate her mother's expert opinion, but all she wanted right now was to talk to Daniel. She needed to hear his voice, to know where he was at, what he was thinking. Why he'd left the way he had.

“I'm done. I should go change.” Leslie said with a sigh. “And bring your dad down for some food.”

“Yeah,” Char whispered, her mind somewhere else. She was already fingering her phone in her pocket.

Char waited till her footsteps had faded before bring her phone out.

If her mother hadn't arrived, she and Daniel would be lovers by now. They would have been as close as two people could get. It would have changed everything.

But her mother had arrived. And Char was afraid that everything had changed anyway.

You don't know that. You don't know what he's feeling right now, what he's thinking.

But she kept remembering the shuttered look on his face before he'd ducked and ran for cover. Not exactly inspiring stuff.

She pressed speed dail and waited for him to pick up. His phone went straight to voice mail. She tried his parent's place, but the phone simply rang out. Then she tried his phone again, and again she get voice mail.

Finally she closed her phone.

He didn't want to talk to her.

It might not mean anything, Weasel piped up.

But she knew Weasel was wrong. As always.

******

Daniel had absolutely no idea how things had gotten so crazy so quickly. Sure, he'd been thinking about Char a lot over the last few weeks. Remembering feelings long forgotten. And there'd been that dream and her gaping pajama top...

But the moment he'd touched her, tasted her, felt her touching him... He'd lost it. Pure and simple. He'd felt as desperate and urgent and clumsy as the horny teen he'd once been.

He took a mouthful of beer. He was sitting on the back deck of his parents’ house. Had been ever since he bailed on Char.

She probably thought he was a shameless opportunist. And if she didn't, she should. She was his best friend. So what if she'd admitted to being curious about what it would be like to get naked with him? Since when did that signal a free-for-all? If her mother hadn't arrived, he would have taken her right there on her bed.

You have to apologise. You have to look her in the eye and apologise.

He checked his watch. He'd been gone a couple of hours. He should go back to the Winston's right now. Talk to Char. Say what needed to be said.

He didn't move. Didn't so much as flex a muscle.

He was twenty six years old, and already divorced. Was it just him, or was it a really lousy time for him to start obsessing over his best friend?

He squinted his eyes against the weak winter sun, trying to sort things out in his mind.

Char was his dearest and oldest friend.

He valued his relationship with her. Had even felt compelled to drop the L-word on her recently, despite the both of them having left the sentiment unspoken for years.

And he wanted to sleep with her, and had almost done so, despite all of the above. He replayed the conversation he had with Zach on the phone few minutes ago in his head.

“I haven't the slightest clue what I'm going to do, man. It's like my brain just automatically shut down.” he said to the phone, raising his bottle to his lips and taking a swing.

“How is that possible? I though you didn't have one,” Zach sneered.

Daniel growled. “Ha, ha. Not funny.”

“Hey, it was your stupid idea. Don't blame me.”

“Well, are you going to help me or not?”

“If you didn't like it, call if off.” he could totally imagine Zach shrugging.

“That's the problem. I did like it,” he groaned, taking another swing of his beer.

“You're not the only one with something to lose. Remember that.”

“You think I'm not? You think I'm just screwing around?”

“No, I don't. Not now. That's just the problem.”

Daniel turned to his side to glare at the phone. It was meant for Zach but he wasn't here so....

“If you were screwing around, you wouldn't have gone all mushy in there a minute ago with Char.”

Mushy? Daniel rolled his eyes. He knew he could cover his tracks better than that. “You're delusional.”

“The hell I am.” Zach retorted. “I haven't known you for a long time, but I can see the signs. You like this girl. A lot. But she's your best friend, Daniel. You need her.”

“I know that.”

“So all I'm saying is keep you're hands to yourself. Okay?”

“I have been!” And it had cost him too. Five pounds off slushy ice-water wasn't easy on a man. “I have been!”

“Good. Keep it up. Ride it out. Be a man.” Zach snorted. “In the mean time, I'll do what I can to separate you and Char. God knows you need it. The two of you are like lovesick puppies in heat.”

“Oh screw you.”

“Now are you going to leave me alone?”

“Are you going to go screw yourself?”

“Are you going to take advantage of her?”

“Take ad—” That went too far. Daniel raised a brow, holding the phone closer to his ear. “When have I ever taken advantage of a woman? Tell me.”

Zach sighed. “Well, actually you're more inclined to fall in love with them than take advantage of them.”

Daniel scoffed. Fall in love? His best friend didn't know squat.

“And then there's the fact that your ex-wife dumped your sorry ass for her boss. So I guess Abby took advantage of you.”

Low blow. That one definitely deserved a middle-finger salute. Daniel obliged with both hands.

“But on the other hand, you have been living like a monk for the past three weeks, so I'd say all bets are off.” Zach huffed. “Besides, Char is special. I don't want her to buy your bullshit and get hurt.”

“What, you're defending her now? From me?”

“Hey, whatever it takes. I know what guys like you does to a woman,” Zach said. “And it isn't pretty. I wasn't wild about this idea  in the first place, but now that I've heard this... She probably does need help staying away from you, man. For her own good.”

Shaking his head, Daniel shut his mouth. There really was noting to say so he ended the call. Zach made him sound like the freaking Toxic Seducer, ready to wreak havoc everywhere he dropped his pants.

Well, screw him. Zach was wrong about him. Daniel wasn't that bad, and he wasn't going to go all goo-goo eyed over his best friend either. Not if he could help it—and he could. He would.

Aside from which, he didn't fall in love all the time. Sure he liked women. He loved women. But he'd only been in love once—with Abby—and that had ended disastrously. He'd have to be some kind of moron to sign up for more of the same now.

Especially when his life was still so screwed up.

He had no idea what Char wanted from him. Friendship, yes. Sex? A couple of hours ago, yes. But now that she'd had time to think things over? He had no idea. Worse, he had no idea what he wanted, beyond the obvious. He'd been with Abby for eight years, married to her for four of them. There had been other girlfriends in high school when he and Abby had broken up a couple of times. There had been a six-month break when they were at university when they'd both seen other people. But other than those few periods in his life, he had always been one half of the whole.

Daniel and Abby, Abby and Daniel. Now, after nearly a year on his own, he was starting to understand that he'd lost himself in his marriage. Been subsumed by Abby’s ambition and drive, allowed her needs and wants to swamp his own.

He'd lost track of the things he considered important. A career he could believe in, a family of his own, involvement in the community, personal fulfillment. He had no idea how to bring those things back into focus for himself again, where to start.

All of which meant he had no business fooling around with Char. What did he have to offer her, after all? His life crisis? His confusion and frustration and bitterness? She deserved a hell of a lot more than that from him.

He smiled grimly at his own arrogance. He could almost hear Char in his head: Who says I want anything from you, buddy? He was being hugely presumptuous, making assumptions about what he though she might want.

He needed to talk to her. They were both adults, after all. They knew each other well, respected each other. Cared deeply for one another. There was no reason why they couldn't sit down and discuss what had almost happened between them.

He pushed himself to his feet and dusted off the butt of his jeans. Then he drank the last of his beer and went to talk to Char.