‘I always thought there was something romantic about fighting for someone. About winning them back. Eventual happiness. But as I sit here with stones in my chest, where hope used to lie, I have come to the realisation that there is nothing lovely about having to continuously convince someone to love you.’ - Charlotte Winston, It Was Always You.

Songs for the chapter:
               It Must Have Been Love - Roxette
               I Don't Want To Live Forever - Zayn Malik feat Taylor Swift (Fifty shades Darker)
              Red - Taylor Swift
             Say Something - A Great Big World feat Christiana Aguilera

Chapter Forty-Six: Red

Char broke out into a run. She had no idea where she was going—Daniel had drove them here and she hadn't really paid attention for a location as she thought the idiot was going to drive them back.

She wanted somewhere dark and quiet. Somewhere she could at least pretend that she hadn't just confessed her love for Daniel to the whole town, as well as him.

She was convinced she could hear Daniel following her so put on a surge. It was only when she turned the corner, puffing and blowing, that she saw there was no one behind her.

It wasn't supposed to hurt but it did.

You know what they say, if he doesn't run after you when you walk out, keep on walking.

The moment she stopped running, bile burned her throat and she bent over and lost the contents of her stomach in front of someone's roses.

Oops.

She used the person's garden tap to rinse her mouth and clean up the mess. The she headed home, her feet heavier than lead and her stomach hunched.

The worst thing that could happen had happened: she'd told Daniel that she loved him... And he'd said nothing. Not a thing.

After about an hour, she stepped into the house and slammed the door so loudly one of the neighbour's cat bolted for cover, his night eyes glinting brightly. She stalked up the path and shoved her room door open, hearing it smash into the hall wall with a satisfying crash. She was lucky her parents weren't home, they would have her head if anything happened to their precious doors.

Char was an idiot. A very foolish, very naïve, self deluded idiot.

She could see it so clearly now. Talk about twenty-twenty hindsight. All the years she'd spent mooning after Daniel, loving him in perfect silence—wasted, every one. All the energy she'd expended over the past few weeks anguishing about kissing him and confessing to him—a huge waste.

Because Daniel Luke Miller was never going to love her the way she loved him.

She'd said to herself a hundred, maybe even a billion times. But until this moment she'd never truly believed it. Not even when practically her entire family gave her the hint.

But not now. Tonight, she's reached the end of her rope.

Sure, Daniel might want to kiss her. He might even be curious about sleeping with her. He might feel touched by her confession and obligated to do something about it.

But he would never feel the same way about her as he did about Abby.

It had always been the two of them. Abby and Daniel, Daniel and Abby. From the first summer when the two of them had gotten together, Amy had always been the one on the outside looking in. And she still was.

What was she thinking? They'd been married, for God's sake. They'd woken up to each other's morning breath thousands of times. They'd shared intimacies she couldn't even imagine. She could never compete with that.

He was never mine, but losing him hurt me.

“I'm done. Done,” she told her house.

She wanted to say, “don't leave me,” but she couldn't, not again. She was tired of begging people to love her.

So.

Life went on.

How about that.

Her mouth formed. She could do this. Get over Daniel. Move on, finally. She bloody could.

As fast as she could, she grabbed her phone and dialled the number. “Hey, Cat. Meet me at the club in thirty,”

                     
                                    **********

The nightclub was already crowded by the time Char arrived. Not that she expected any less—they just seemed to be too much on the particular night that she wanted to come. This wasn't really her scene, but she didn't want to be holed up in a house that reminded her of her problem, one where she could hear herself think.

Where was Cat? Char's eyes roamed the crowd as she walked further into the club, making her way to the bar. She had absolutely no idea what she was supposed to do at a club and Cat was the only one who could help her at a time like this.

As she waited, she ordered a bottle of coke. She didn't know why she didn't go for the hard stuff—that was the main reason she'd decided to come, to get drunk and forget all her problems—but she shrugged it off, concluding that Cat's absence was the reason. She hadn't been drunk before so she didn't know if she was a light head.

Better to have backup.

Char raised her bottle and swallowed a chunk of coke as her eyes travelled through the crowd. There were couples here obviously, and people that didn't even know each other at every nook and cranny of the club, grinding, dancing, making out, looking like they all wanted to jump one another on the dancefloor.

This looks fun.

Most of all, there were men.

Hot men.

Men that could help her forget Daniel in every way possible.

And she planned on doing just that.

She took another sip, and almost choked on it when Cat's voice rang in her ears.

“When did you get here?”

She glared at her best friend, “Jeez, don't scare me like that. A few minutes ago,” she turned to fully access Cat. She looked good as always, but that was the rest of her body. If you looked close enough, you could see the bags under her eyes that she'd expertly tried to cover with makeup. The radiant smile on her face was... less radiant. Char gave her a sympathetic smile, the thing with Zach must have really taken a toll on her.

Zach. Uhg, why do all men have to be such pigs?

“When did you get here?” she asked.

Cat shrugged. “An hour ago, I was already here when you called.”

Damn, Zach must have really done one on her.

She offered another smile—she was well aware that she was smiling like an idiot but it didn't matter—and was glad to see Cat returned it, even if it was fake.

“Well, I need a drink,” Char announced, turning around and ordering a bottle of beer.

“You sure?” Cat asked wearily. She knew her friend was not one to drink, much less be in a club willingly. Then it hit her. “It's Daniel, isn't it?”

Char gulped her drink halfway down, her face scrunched up from the slight burn in her throat, and nodded. She hadn't wanted to hear his name at all. Might as well get it out of her system. “Long story short, he's back with Abby.” she swallowed down another gulp and winced.

Fuck, this thing tastes like shit. How do people drink this?

Cat sighed. If Char didn't know better, she'd say her friend was tired of men.

“One shot of vodka, please,” Char called out to the bartender, causing Cat's eyes to snap up to hers as if to say, ‘Are you feeling alright?’

Char just shrugged and down her drink in one go. Seven years of friendship with Cat had taught her to know the names of different alcoholic drinks.

Three more shots later and she was itching dance. She smiled to herself as she stood, feeling a little tipsy. She was actually handling this alcoholic thing well. She'd thought after two shots, she would be drunk off her mind.

Well, time to go party.

                            *************

Char found a good spot at the centre of the dancefloor, and even though she was overshadowed by the rest of the crowd, she swung her hips to the rhythm of the song paying, not minding if she was shaking like a catfish on land.

Then, life decided that after toying with her so harshly, the least it could do was play her a song fitting with her situation.

Ciara feat Nicki Minaj’s I'm Out came on, the speakers bursting loudly as Ciara’s God-given voice filled the entire club and Char waved her arms around frantically.

‘Ladies, this your song so as soon this come out,
You should get out on the floor, go and get your sexy on,
If you know that you better than the new girl that he on,
Go ‘head and tell em now, you gon' miss me when I'm gone.’

The song continued and even though Char was sad and broken deep down inside, her plan was to live in the moment. She never was the carefree one, that was all Cat. So what she did was plaster a fake yet not-so-fake excited smile on her face and moved her hips to the beat and her lips flowed with lyrics.

‘You gon’ play me, on instragram nigga tryna shade me,
But your bitch back home tryna play me,
I'm Nicki M Weezy F baby,
Man fuck you and your lady,
Gon’ butt you, ‘cause you shady,
Now which bitch want it,
Cause that bitch get it,
I gave him to you bitch,
Don't fucking forget it.’

Chat laughed at the last line. If only Abby was here to hear the words directly from her mouth....

‘I just went thru a breakup,
but it's okay I got my cake up.
Do my hair, put on some makeup,
tryna see where tonight gon' take us.
I post some pics up lookin’ sexy, now this nigga wanna text me.
How much you wanna bet me?
You gon’ regret the day you left me... Ooh yeah-yeah-yeah.’

She stumbled into some couple of guys dancing as her feet became shaky, the alcohol gradually kicking in. But she didn't care. Now wasn't the time for caring. This was the time to not give a shit.

‘Celebrating the breakup, oh whoa,
Bartender go ‘head and pour me a little more,
Tonight we gon’ have us a good time,
Let's have a toast to our goodbyes, oh whoa,’

At that moment, a guy appeared from somewhere in the crowd to stand behind Char. She stiffened as his hot breath hit her neck, his hands trailing down her sides to her hips. She wanted to scream, ‘get the hell off me now, you moronic fool!’, but she shook her head as a no, leaning back against him, allowing him to lead as he moved their bodies to the beat.

She seriously couldn't believe she was doing this.

‘Now tell me, do my bitches run this,
Not even hammer can touch this,
We standin’ up on all the couches,
Tomorrow you gon’ hear about this.
This is what you're hearin’ thru your speakers,
That's why we're dancin’ till our feet hurts,
See I found out he was my problem,
Tonight I came out here to solve him... Ooh yeah-yeah-yeah.’

A new surge of confidence passed through her and she grinded her butt harder into his crotch, smiling when she felt a hardness underneath.

“Shit,” Mystery Guy whispered in her ears as she grinded into him more. “You really don't want to keep doing that.” he growled.

Smirking, she turned to face him and almost choked on her saliva when she saw the holy hotness in front of her. Damn, was he hot. His eyes were glinting with mischievousness... lust and Char felt an exciteness burn within her. His sandy brown hair was dishevelled, like though he'd ran his hand through it multiple times. The slight stubble on his chin was super sexy and Char wanted to run her hands through it.

“You are hot,” she blurted out before she could stop herself. Alcohol really wasn't good for her.

He gave her a boyish grin, “So I've been told, beautiful. And you are exquisite,”

The moment the words left his mouth, Char's smiled faltered. Those were the words Daniel had said to her at Vortel, the restaurant he and Zach had asked she and Cat to meet them. Why did everything have to lead back to him?

“Thank you,” she smiled, trying her best to fight the thoughts that were labeled ‘Daniel’ which admittedly, was quite a lot.

Mystery Guy reached forward to grab her waist and she let him, as he brought them closer to each other.

She decided to have fun with him, “Before anything, I just want to let you know that I'm a lesbian.”

Mystery Guy’s face dropped. “What? Who's the dick that ruined it for the rest of us?” he asked, trying to sound hurt but Char could see the small smile playing at his lips.

Why did everybody have to assume it was a guy? Couldn't she want to be a lesbian just because she found the female body attractive?

Apparently not.

She smiled in response, mainly because she didn't trust herself well enough to not start babbling about what a bastard Daniel was. No offense to Mr Miller.

‘Ladies, this your song, so as soon as this come on,
Say “Fuck these petty niggas” if these niggas did you wrong.
If he got a new bitch then tell that bitch meet you outside,
And pop her like a molly till them bitches recognize.
Grinnin’ (I'm out).’

Oh, how Char would love to kiss Nicki for those amazing lyrics. Maybe she really should pop Abby like a molly beyond recognition. Wow, that sounded a lot better. But she doubted Abby would just let it go like that, she'd probably throw Char in jail.

A new song came on, with a slower beat this time and Mystery Guy didn't hesitate to pull Char closer. Normally, Char would be repulsed by it, but no. It was actually nice. And if Daniel could go about kissing random girls, then why couldn't she?

Which was why the minute she slammed her lips unto Mystery Guy’s, she couldn't stop. She wanted to hurt Daniel the way he hurt her, maybe even more but he wasn't here now, so why was she doing this? And more importantly, why was she enjoying it?

Mystery Guy bit on her bottom lips making her gasp as he took the opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth. Their tongues danced rhythmically, both fighting for dominion. His hands slip down to cup her bottoms and he gaze it a little squeeze.

Unfortunately, they needed air. They tore apart, both looking flushed. His hair looked more dishevelled than before from when she'd ran her hands through it.

“So are you going to tell me your name, beautiful?” he asked with a smirk.

Damn, he was hot when he did that.

“Nope,” she answered cheekily, she wasn't here to exchange names. Maybe body fluids, but not names.

“Why? Do you have some weird, ancient name like Amara or something?” he asked with his eyebrows raised and Char had a feeling that he copied the name off Vampire Diaries.

Nevertheless, she laughed. “Something like that,”

Mystery Guy shrugged. “Well then, I guess I'll just keep calling you ‘beautiful’.”

She nodded emphatically. “I guess you will.”

It was so easy to talk to him, like Dani— ugh! How she hated him, creeping into her mind whenever he felt like.

She needed to forget him, even if it was for one night. She would start her grieving tomorrow. For now she needed to forget.

“Kiss me,” the words came out before she could stop them. Not that she wanted to.

“My pleasure,” he whispered against her lips as he moved in and  kissed her. Char felt her eyes moisten and she tried her best to blink back the tears. Crying over a man when kissing another was not normal. At all.

How could Daniel do this to her? After everything they'd gone through in the past month, how could he break her heart like that? Again? This time, she didn't know if she could forgive him.

That was what she was. She was a forgiver. Her heart was so large she didn't know how to give up on people, because she always believed the good in those she loved. It was until she was walked on so many times, she had no choice but to give up on those who burned holes in her heart.

Mystery Guy pulled away, his eyes darkened with lust. If he noticed the tears gathering in her eye, he didn't show it. Suddenly the place felt a little too crowded for her liking.

“Wanna get out of here?” it was like he read her mind. And Char knew exactly what would happen if she went with him. The question was, did she want it to? Honestly, she was tired of everything. She was tired of being the good girl, she wanted something more. Something different. And Mystery Guy here was more than ready to give them to her.

So what was stopping her?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

She made her decision then, praying fervently she didn't regret it later on.

“Yeah,”

———————

JOTD: Sometimes I think to myself, “do I really want a beer?”

And then I remember that there's a super volca under yellowstone that is 40,000 years overdue and when it erupts it could potentially cover most of North America in ash and create a volcanic winter that kills half the world population and I'm like fuck yeah I want a beer!

I have been itching to write this chapter for a really long time now... When I started this book, this was the first scene I imagined...finally!

So here it is guys! I know I asked for a specific amount of reads and I have to say that I'm actually disappointed that I didn't get it. Please, with a cute little cherry on top. I need more reads.

Now the next update will be 6.2K reads!!!!

Vote, comment and share! Thanks!!!

Till then,

Gift.