‘The saddest part was realising we could have made it work. If you were really in love with me, you would have fought for me. But you didn't. And that just means I loved you more than you loved me.’

Song for the chapter: I'll always remember you- Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana

Chapter Forty-Five: Giving Up

“Char,” he called out again when he noticed the stream of water pouring out of her eyes.

“Answer me one thing,” she said, “Why is she here?” Char gestured to the restaurant which was now a few feet from where she was standing.

Daniel tensed. “I.. I told you, she invited me out and I wasn't ready to face her alone so I decided to bring you along.”

“On our first date?” she almost screamed but kept her calm.

“I'm sorry,” he let out in a quick breath. He looked so regretful that if she wasn't seeing red, she might have felt sorry for him.

They both didn't say anything for a long time, just stood there staring into each other's eyes. The words were there but neither of them knew how to say them. It was peaceful. Not.

Daniel spoke up, “What she said back there...” he trailed off, not knowing where to go from there.

Char snapped. “Don't you get it, you moron? I'm in love with you. Have been for ten years so just imagine how I felt when you left me so many years ago.” she looked him dead in the eye as the tears rushed out. She wasn't scared anymore. She was ready to face her demons.

“Char,”

“I love you, godammit! I love you. I'm fucking in love with you and I don't how to live without you. And now you've gone and ruined me again, like the first time wasn't enough. I love you,” she cried out, her heart breaking with every tear.

Confusion was written all over his face. “H..how? I..I don't.. I don't remem—”

“Let me refresh your memory alright? I was the one who took your bullshit. I was the one who actually cared for you. I was the one who stuck around even when everyone told me to leave. I was the one who loved you even when you gave me every reason not to. And lastly, I was the one who was there for you when no one else was. I hope you can sleep on that.” she told him, despair dripping off the words.

Daniel shook his head. He raised an arm towards her as if trying to reach for her, but when he looked into her eyes and saw the hurt swirling, he dropped it. “She kissed me first,” he whispered, but he was sure she heard it, even though they weren't close.

Char snorted. As if that would change anything. She was just tired. Tired of everything. And as if that wasn't enough, the tears didn't stop. She was tired of getting fucked in ways that didn't end in an orgasm. “You never said goodbye, and I'm guessing it's because it wouldn't have been the kind of goodbye that effortlessly rolls off your tongue—instead, it would have been the kind that catches and chokes in the back of your throat and tastes like sadness and regret—the kind that aches as if all those butterflies that were fluttering around inside you just died at once—the kind you should never say to someone you care about.”

He didn't say anything. Funny enough, she didn't expect him to. They were in the own world now, the one they'd created for themselves; pain, heartache, betrayal and torture. They'd both forgotten that they were in the middle of the road, so far away from each other yet so close, where passersby could easily see. It didn't matter. It never did. It was time to get everything off her chest, once and for all.

“You destroyed me,” was the first thing that came out of her mouth after the long pause, making Daniel's eyes widen slightly.

“Char, I know you might not love me anymore but just know that I never wanted to hurt you. Never,” he said, his eyebrows furrowed together in pain. She could see he was in as much pain as she was in. But she doubt it. What she was feeling now, she was as sure as hell that nobody had ever felt that way. It was completely horrible.

“I did love you. I loved you so much I couldn't breathe. You consumed my entire being and that's why I let you treat me the way you did. I don't know what you got after destroying me time after time, but I hope you don't put anyone else through that. I waited for you. I gave you chance after chance and I left you with every last goddamn thing I had. And you took it all without a care in the world. I tried to hang on because I thought you were worth it. But one day, today, I just stopped waiting. I didn't want to hear ‘I miss you’ anymore. Although I hope you fucking miss me. Once I would have given my last breath for you to say that. I hope you see me so fucking happy that it looks like I'm about to explode and I hope it kills you. I hope you drop to the floor and feel like the breath is being sucked out of you and I hope you realise what you gave up. Because I gave you the world and I kept fighting long after I should've stopped. You don't deserve that. Fuck you,” she pointed her hand at him, venom sipping through her every word.

“And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all our memories, I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying, “she loved me more than anyone else in the world and I destroyed her.”” she breathed in as painful tears blinded her vision, tilting her head up and staring into the sky. “Maybe we'll meet again, when we are older and our minds are less hectic, and I'll be right for you and you'll be right for me. But right now I am chaos to your thoughts and you are poison to my heart,” she concluded, her gaze shifting back to him.

Daniel shook his head frantically that it would have fallen off had he not stopped and taken several steps toward her. He walked so fast she didn't see him coming, and pressed his lips against hers. “No,” kiss, “Don't,” kiss, “Say,” kiss, “That,” he kissed her forcefully, his grip tightening when she starting struggling to be free.

Where the strength came form, she wasn't sure, but she pushed him with all might. He staggered back, and from nowhere, a small hand landed on his left cheek.

She'd slapped him.

Hard.

“What? You think you can kiss me after all this? Huh?!” she bellowed at the top of her lungs, not minding the slight discomfort in her stomach. Chat could see that her words cut deep inside him, and she could see that they were slowly killing him, but she didn't care. She was already dead on the inside and that was the worst kind of death.

Still, the tears wouldn't stop.

“That's it. I'm done. With you. With us. With words that mean one thing and actions that say another. With every moment of dishonesty and indecision. I see clearly now that if you genuinely wanted to give me your time and affection, you wouldn't make me bleed or beg for them. I think it's time I let you go. And that's so hard because a part of me will be in love with you for the rest of my life. But the day dreaming, the running in place, it's not healthy. I can't do that anymore. ”

“You can't say that, baby. This past month have b—”

“This past month was nothing. Admit it, you only came back to free your conscience after eight years,” she spat. Any other time, she would have been elated out of her mind that he called her baby, but right now, right now she was giving up.

“You know that's not true,” he said, as he swallowed hard.

“Actually, I don't. People make time for who they want to make time for, so no. You won't catch me begging for you to text me or check up on me. No thanks, I'm good. But when everyone else walks out on you, don't hit me up with that ‘where have you been I miss you’ shit. If I cut you off, it's probably because you handed me the scissor. I hope whoever's catching your attention is worth losing me. I've laced up my shoes, I'm done tripping.” she gave him one last look before turning around and walking away, leaving him to wonder where it all went wrong.

And no. She didn't lose him, she had to let him go. She didn't get over him, she had to move on. She didn't lose feelings for him, she had to walk away. She didn't get bored of him, she had to do what was best for her. She didn't forget about him, she had to cut him off. She didn't want things to end, she just did what was best for her. She didn't want to break up, she just couldn't handle it anymore. She didn't want to leave his life, she just needed time to herself. It just got to a point where she put herself first for once and decided that it was time they both went their separate ways. It wasn't that she didn't want to be with him anymore because she did, it was that things weren't the same anymore and no matter how long she waited for things to get better, no matter how hard she tried to make things work, it just wasn't happening. She just didn't want to be unhappy anymore. She'd would run back to him in a heartbeat, but for now, she just needed to be on her own.

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I wasn't going to update so soon but I didn't want to leave y’all hanging.

I am heartbroken. Not literally though. That would mean death and there are still quite a few things I need to do before that happens. Like finish this book.

Char is hurting. And I'm in tears because I can actually feel her pain. Daniel...... I know y'all got your pitchforks and axes, let's go murder some bitches! Abby included...

Okay, just so you know, I won't be updating anytime soon. Calm down, calm down.... It's because I want this book to get up to 6K reads before I do. It's the only way, sorry. But, there is a solution.....
..

....wait for it.....

Read and comment and vote! Also tell your friends about this book! Thanks sommuch, y'all. I love you guys so much

Till then,

Gift.