Have you ever wondered which hurts the most; saying something and wishing you had not, or not saying nothing and wishing you had?

Chapter Eighteen: Ex's and betrayal.

The minute Char stepped into her room, she took her phone out and sent a text to Daniel.

Char: I never got to thank you for your help yesterday...so thank you. But you can go eat shit for leaving me here to face mom alone.

It was one of the reasons she loved Daniel. His generosity. He was always eager to help people. Maybe it was a doctor thing, but she didn't care. She loved him for it. Also for his kindness, sense of humor, sinful body, that face... yum.

There's always a but. And in this case, it was Abby. They were divorced. She didn't know if she should be happy or sad. Her mind travelled to her conversation with Daniel the night he'd taken her to the park ran through her mind.

Now she stared at the ceiling in her bedroom. She felt as though someone had pulled the rug out from beneath her feet.

Abby and Daniel had been teen sweethearts. They'd moved to Boston to attend college together. To be together. They'd loved each other. Their future was all mapped out.

And now it was all over. Abby had an affair, broken Daniel's trust.

Goddamn.

Char simply couldn't get her head around it and it'd been almost two weeks since he'd told her. Daniel was so loyal and loving. It made her chest tight to think of how betrayed he must feel. How disappointed and hurt and angry. There was no way he'd made his marriage vows four years ago expecting them to have such a limited lifespan. No. Way.

She thought back to the night before the wedding, to the things he'd said to her in the voicemail he'd sent.

“ I’ve been thinking about this for a long time Char,” there'd been a pause. “Getting married. Buying a place of our own. Staring a family.”

She'd smiled, even though her grip tightened on her phone. “Always were a big planner, Miller.” she whispered.

“I don't have it all mapped out. I know stuff will go wrong. But I also know we'll make it work. Because we love each other and we know each other.”

She nodded, even know he couldn't see her, mostly because she didn't know what to say.

“I know you won't pick my calls, but that won't stop me from talking to you.” she felt a tear slip out.

“You've missed a big opportunity, you know. We could have had a double wedding if you'd played your cards right.”

“Why can't you understand that I don't want anyone but you?  I love you, Goddamnit!” she yelled into her phone.

“Tomorrow's going to be a great day. The best day of my life.” she heard him chuckle.

Her heart ached with sadness and happiness as she listened to him, the two emotions so hopelessly mixed she knew she'd never get them untangled.

“You don't have to say it, I know I'm going to be a great husband.” he said. Then they both laughed at his shameless arrogance.

She twisted in bed, rolling over unto her side. God, how she hated the idea that he was in pain, that all that hope and happiness had gone up in flames. Worse, that she hadn't been around to comfort him because she'd chosen to push him out of her life when he needed her the most.

How could Abby have done this to him? Char could still remember the way her mother smiled as she'd told her about the wedding. The way Abby glowed on the morning of the wedding. And the way Daniel looked at Abby when she'd walked up the aisle toward him. A match made in heaven, everyone had said.

And Abby had thrown all of that away. Char simply couldn't comprehend it.

She was drifting toward sleep when that insidious little thought weasled it's way into her mind again; now that Daniel was divorced, he was free again. Available.

Her eyes snapped open. Her heart kicked out an urgent, panicky beat.

Don't. Don't even think about it. Not for a second, you idiot.

But she was wide awake, and the thought was lodged into her brain, glowing like neon.

Daniel was free to love again. If he wanted to.

“Don't be an idiot,” she said out loud.

Because she'd been waiting for Daniel Miller to noticed her since she was fourteen years old. A full ten years of yearning, longing, jealousy and heartache. Long enough to know better.

She closed her eyes and pushed the weasel words down into a deep, dark corner of her mind. Because she did know better. Even if some aberrant, hope-springs-eternal, deluded part of her psyche refused to lay down and die, most of her knew the truth: Daniel had never seen her as anything other than his good friend. And nothing she ever did would change that.

Her phone vibrated and she checked to see some messages from Daniel.

Daniel: Don't sweat it :))

Daniel: Serves you right for leaving me to do all the work alone.

She chuckled. It wasn't her fault that he'd chosen to retaliate to her disses by using very horrible, dirty, and sexual words. She blushed just by thinking about it.

Though now, it didn't sound like a bad plan....

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Two chapters in one day?! I'm on a roll :))

I cried a little while writing the voicemail part. They both get to me.

Picture of Daniel on the side.

Okay.... *Drumroll* ..... Ship name!!!!!!

I was thinking Chaniel, or Danotte. I don't know. I'm not good at shipping. And that's where you all come in!!!!

So start shipping people.... I'd love to know what you all come up with.

Bye for now

Love,

~Gift