i think i'm dreaming when i see you standing in my doorway.

i blink so many times,

you ask if something is wrong with my eyes.

i want to make a joke about one of them being partially swollen,

but i'm so surprised that i stammer a "what are you doing here" instead.

you click your tongue. "should i leave then?"

"no!" i say too fast, sitting up so quickly i think i pulled a neck muscle. "no. don't... don't leave, please."

you take a hesitant step into the room,

look down at your hands,

twiddle your thumbs.

i have so much to say to you.

"i'm sorry," i say as sincerely as i possibly can. "i never meant for any of this to happen. i never--i never thought any of this would happen."

"it's okay," you whisper.

"no. no, it isn't." i stand despite being sore still and walk towards you. "you don't understand. i've been driving myself crazy over this--all of this. i screwed up. i know i did, trust me. i was hoping you would answer your phone so i could explain and--"

"max, shut up."

i close my mouth.

you sigh heavily,

and meet my gaze.

"i forgive you. and no, not because you literally got beat up for me. i didn't make things easier by avoiding you. i was just hurt. i was your best friend and you just... you just left. and for sasha, at that. hell, it would've been easier if you left me for another guy!"

i decide to push my luck,

and step closer to you.

i can smell your cotton candy body spray.

i bought you an entire year's supply for your birthday once.

you were so excited i might as well have bought you a car.

"i never should have abandoned you like that," i say quietly, reaching for your hand.

you let me take it.

"i just. i felt like i needed something, you know? i thought that something was sasha before, but now... i know what i needed now. it was always you."

"max..."

"why are you crying?" 

instantly, i cup your face to wipe your tears.

you slap me in the chest.

"because you're the blindest, stupidest person i've ever met and i hate you for waiting so long to notice."

"notice what?"

you roll your eyes and then--

you kiss me.