Chole's  POV:

       I was upset, but then I heard Sarah's screams.  I ran to her room to comfort her and Nathaniel followed me. I knew then what I did not want to acknowledge, before that he truly loves her as his child as I do. Should I ask the court to grant him joint custody of her?

     I was not so sure anymore that I could adopt her without being worried about how it would impact him. I had seen how good she was with him.  I watched her lying on her bed trembling when we entered the room. I sat beside her and he sat on the other side.

    I held onto her, but he did too. Yes, Nathaniel held onto her for dear life. 

    Should I reconsider marriage to him?   I closed my eyes and began to sing to her. I sang the same song I had the other times, trying to comfort her. I could hear Nathaniel sigh as he listened to me sing. I felt his hand graze mine, his left hand lay still by his side while his other one held her. 

    I did not flinch or look up. I kept on singing. I could feel Sarah start to calm as she stopped kicking and the screams stopped around the same time. I could hear her tears as she muttered, "Let me stay please mom, I promise I will be good."

      I heard Nathaniel's voice as he slowly spoke to her, "Sarah, I think it is best you stay with her, but I will visit, I will as long as your mom is okay with that I will come."  I could tell he sounded unsure. It must be my fault since I had hurt him. I did not mean to, but I had.  "You may come to see her and me anytime you please," I whispered.

      I moaned in pain as my head started to feel uncomfortable. I knew it was only a matter of time before I collapsed. That sort of thing always happened when I had flashbacks filled with memories of my past, especially the ones that contained my now-dead ex-boyfriend, the one who had stolen so much from me.

      "Mom, It is okay, we will not leave you," Sarah said. I could tell she was trying to help me the same way I had helped her.  "Bee, I am not going anywhere," I could hear Nathaniel say.

          I opened my eyes and looked at them. I could see love and concern for me coming from both of them. I  felt my arm begin to twitch, and then I closed my eyes and gasped as the horrid flashback crept up on me. I felt my body start to collapse under me and felt strong arms surround me.  I also felt smaller arms gently touch my right arm.

       "Flashback"  *Warning this part contains some intense trigger scenes in it (rape).

              I waited for him on his front porch. I felt like I should run, but where? Where could I go that he wouldn't find me? He was my boyfriend, and I had an obligation to him.

                I sighed. Where on earth was Jeff? Why didn't he answer the doorbell for crying out loud? What was keeping him? I had seen his car in the driveway, so I knew he was home.  I saw another one beside it, but that made no sense. Mine was in the shop, so what else was there?

                I rang the doorbell again and heard feet stumbling towards the door. The sight I saw when the door opened made me regret coming here. It was too late to turn back now. He had seen me. "Chole, what a nice surprise, my flower," He said.  I could tell his words were slurred, his eyes were red, and he only wore a shirt and boxers. I was furious, "How dare you? Jeff, you promised me you would stop drinking," I scolded him.

                Jeff pulled me inside, shut the door, and locked it. "Look, flower, there is no need to be so dull, there is plenty of me to go around," He said. I put my finger on his chest. "Jeff put on some  pants." I spat out. "No one tells me what to do at my house. It is my place, so the rules are anything I please. Right now I want you to please me," He said. I gasped. 

      "You know what I changed my mind, I am going home, and I will come back some other time," I tried to say.  He would not listen to me. He yanked my hair, and I screamed. This only seemed to make him more angry. He picked me up and took me to his room. I shook my head. 

              He kissed me and I tried to shove him away. He threw me onto the bed, yes, you heard that right threw me not setting me down gently. I sobbed and shut my eyes after he grabbed my dress and I felt the fabric tear. He laughed at me.

             I attempted to call for help, but he grabbed my hand away. He pulled the phone away from the wall and tossed it aside. "You have been naughty, Chole," He said between hiccups. 

            "Jeff, stop, can't we talk about this like civilized people?" I tried to reason with him. Only there was no way to reason with a monster. He kissed me hard and I felt my tongue start to bleed from the pain. I hit him but he grew angrier and tied my arms up with the rope. The cords cut my wrist, I whinced from the torture. I tried to break free, but he forced himself on me.

          I will not tell you all the details, but that was the first time he raped me. I felt like trash from that point on. I was afraid to tell anyone, and he knew it. He used that against me anytime I threatened to leave him. He would say, "Tsk, tsk, Chole, you are mine now I had my way with you, who would want you?" He would laugh, and sneer at me. I started to think  I deserved his wrath.

         I sobbed and he walked away to do whatever it is monsters do when they grow bored of stalking their prey.

        I tried to leave him many times after that happened, but he would always threaten my father, and threaten my best friend, Nathaniel. He would say, "If you leave me, I will tell them you are a little bad girl, and I will kill them. I will do it in front of you and make you watch. So, you see, you can't leave me."   I eventually gave up because I was too afraid to leave him.

    He would threaten me verbally, he would scare me physically, and he would turn out to be the one who made me feel unworthy of love. He made me feel unfit for marriage, but there was one thing he would never do. I swore to myself that would never happen. Even if it meant he killed me on the inside, I promised myself he would never kill my father, or harm Nathaniel as long as I lived.

  " End of Flashback..."

I felt tears fall harder than before. I tried to call out but found I could not move. It was like I was frozen or something.  I knew I had failed to keep Nathaniel from getting hurt, but I was glad I was right about one thing, that monster hadn't killed my father, and Nathaniel was alive. 

   The monster was defeated. I was glad for that because at least this way he could never come after me again. After three dreadful years of verbal, physical, emotional, mental, and sexual abuse, I was a free woman. Free at last.

   The trouble was I was trapped with him in my mind. I felt more tears fall and Sarah and Nathaniel seemed far away. Why couldn't I move? Why couldn't I say anything?

   "Ah!" I screamed. "Please, stop, stop it hurts."  "Go away, Jeff, please, don't hurt him!"

    "I love him!  I love Nathaniel!  You can take me, but let him go!" I screamed.

      I heard a small voice start to sing to me. Soon, a deeper man's voice began to join her. I whimpered and sobbed, but I could hear them singing to me.

       Soon the song was finished, and I could hear the man, Nathaniel, my Nathaniel say,  "Bee, I will be here if you need me, and it is okay, I understand you are not ready."  I felt Sarah kiss my cheek, and she whispered, "Mom, that mean old man is gone and he is never going to hurt you again. Mom, I know it is hard to understand, but Dad will not hurt you. Dad loves you. I love you."

    "Mom, Mom!" I heard her yell for me, but I could not find her.

      "Sarah, you better go to your Grandpa's tonight, I will stay with her," I heard Nathaniel say.

     "Okay, I will call him, and tell him to take me over to spend the night," Sarah says. I hear her pick up the phone. That was the last I remembered before I fell asleep.

Find out more in Chapter 42

Until then,

bye-bye,

little owlets!

Summer out!

*Author's note: What will Nathaniel say when the retired Mayor Bougerious, comes to pick up his hopefully soon-to-be granddaughter?  

   To find out the answer to the question and much more keep reading.