It had been several days and Minho had slept at Han's house every night. Every morning he accompanied him to the Café, stopped by his house to get some clean clothes and went to the agency. He worked until late and, as soon as he could, he ran to Han to take him home and spent the night with him.

They ate together with Haru, who didn't stop smiling and had even secretly taken some photos of them during dinner. And then, they went up to Han's room, to fall asleep embracing each other.

Everything was almost perfect. Until one of those days came back for Han.

Chan was keeping watching the young boy work: Han has a dull face, his eyes were empty and for an instant the oranged-boy thought that a quarrel with Minho could have been the reason of that mood. But when he saw the trainee boy appear with a dazzling smile at the door, he realized he was wrong. Minho was making Han's days better, that was for sure, but no one and nothing, not even love, could easily defeat that pain. Chan didn't know what caused it, but one thing he knew: depression wasn't sadness. And that wasn't a movie.

As soon as he entered the Little Cupcake, Minho realized that something was wrong. It was enough for him to look at Han's face to sense that his friend wasn't in the same mood as that morning, when Minho had said goodbye to him by ruffling his hair.

He looked at Chan questioningly. In his eyes there was fear, he was scared that something bad had happened to Han.

The orange-haired boy simply shook his head, approached him, handing him his usual coffee, and whispered: «You can't save him alone, Minho. Just stay close to him.»

The trainee nodded and approached Han, who didn't even seem to notice his presence.

«Hey, pretty boy in the yellow apron» he called in a low voice, hinting at a smile.

Han's eyes finally looked up from the counter and met Minho, who shuddered seeing those brown irises so... Gloomy.

«Hey, Minho» he greeted, «I'm going to change» he just said, without even trying to smile.

The other nodded but felt his heart tighten. He tried to repeat to himself that it wasn't his fault, that Han had a story too painful to think that two cuddles and compliments could erase everything. But he didn't want to give up, he didn't want to feel completely useless.

He waited for Han and took him home, stroking his hand as usual. But this time Han's fingers didn't wrap around his. Even those didn't have the same grit.

«Do you want to see a movie tonight?» Minho asked, trying to get him to talk.

«Min» Han abruptly stopped in the driveway, letting go of Minho's hand and turning to face him. His house was a few hundred meters away.

«You better not stay tonight» he said, making their gazes meet.

Minho's eyes widened. Was he pushing him away?

Obviously. He had to expect it. He knew it was going to happen, but it still hurt.

"Don't give in, Lee Minho"  he told himself and tried to keep a normal expression.

«I don't want to leave you alone, Ji» he said, in a more begging voice than desired.

«Min...» Han sighed, looking away from the older one, «When I have these moments, there is nothing that gives me peace. I do not want to hurt you.» he added seriously, looking him in the eyes again. And that empty look scared Minho. It was as if Han was perfectly aware that he was in pain, as if he had simply accepted it and still had enough strength to protect others.

The point was that all his life no one had protected him.

Minho took Han's hand back and squeezed it in his own: «You promised me, Ji.» he whispered, while Han narrowed his gaze not understanding what he was referring to.

«You promised me you'd let me stay close to you.»

Han opened his mouth to retort but then he just sighed.

It wasn't like that, Han didn't just want to protect others. He was scared himself and he wanted to protect his heart too. He didn't want to show anyone that pain, that vulnerability, and it wasn't that easy with Minho either, despite all.

«Trust me» Minho added, looking for a spark in Han's eyes. And for an instant, an instant so brief that he wondered if he had imagined it, he saw it, before those eyes were covered in darkness again.

«All right» Han agreed, «but I'm not going to have dinner and I'm going straight to bed.» he said, in a tone that did not accept protests.

Minho nodded and they walked back to the house, the older feeling slightly relieved. At least he could sleep with him.

Maybe what he was doing was selfish. Maybe spending the night together would be more reassuring for him than for Han, maybe he simply couldn't accept being away from that boy and wouldn't have slept a wink in his house alone.

But still he was happy not to part with him at that moment.

.            .            .

As soon as Haru opened the door of her house she got the situation. She had hoped with all of herself that it wouldn't happen again, but she knew it would, sooner or later. She was finally managing to put some money aside for Han to go to a therapist, she didn't want to put it off anymore.

She glanced at Minho, feeling grateful towards that boy. He must have been scared, because no one, believe me, no one knows how to stand next to someone in pain, but he was trying his best.

«I'm going to my room» Han said simply, without even greeting his mom.

Haru sighed: «I'll have Minho bring you dinner, honey, in case you get hungry» she said, watching him trudge up the stairs.

She held back her tears and smiled at the guest, inviting him into the kitchen to eat together: «Come, dear, eat something. You should be hungry»

Minho nodded, watching Han disappear up the stairs, and followed that woman, who quickly finished setting the table for two. She sat down opposite him and invited him to serve himself.

«You know, Minho» she said shortly after, breaking the silence that was getting stale, «Since you've been here, it has happened less and less»

Minho felt heartened, but this wasn't enough. His presence hadn't been enough for Haneul and he knew there were times when he couldn't be with Han. And that really scared him.

«Soon I will be able to afford a psychologist for him, finally.» she added, with a glimpse of hope in her eyes.

Minho looked at her surprised. He'd always wondered why Jisung hadn't talked to a therapist yet, given everything he'd been through, but he'd never wanted to ask him. Now the picture was much clearer: money, always that dirty money was the problem.

«Haru» he called her, looking up from the still half full plate, «I would like to ask you something, but I don't want to offend you» he then said, meeting her gaze.

She tried not to look surprised and smiled, her face was welcoming even if tired: «You could tell me everything, dear»

Minho gulped and looked straight in her beautiful round eyes, so similar to Jisung's.

Could he suggest such a thing without making her feel bad? Could they really keep it hidden from Jisung?

«I'd like to help pay for Jisung's therapy» he said in one breath.

Haru's eyes widened and she started to retort immediately, but Minho continued: «Before you say no, you need to know two things.»

Haru closed her mouth and sighed, waiting for the full explanation. She had learned the hard way that it was always better to listen before giving answers and judgments.

«The first is that my father is an actor and he showers me with useless money to compensate for his feelings of guilt»

Haru looked at him with sad eyes. Money couldn't make up for the absence of a father, Minho must have grown up very lonely.

«And the second is that years ago my best friend died and I couldn't do anything to help him.» he said in a serious voice. Haru dropped the fork on her plate, shocked.

It hadn't been necessary for Minho to use the word suicide, it hadn't been necessary for him to specify what had happened, his eyes had spoken for him.

«Minho...»

She was starting to get why that boy was so different from the others, why he understood Han, why he was so patient with him.

«So please, at least let me help Jisung. I'm not making any use of that money and we won't tell him.» he begged her, «I only have him.» he added in a whisper.

Haru got up from his chair and gave the boy a big hug. She knew right away that Minho was a special boy, but she had no idea there was a scary story behind it and, for some reason, it seemed similar to her son's.

«You are not to blame, Minho, do you got me?» she murmured, her voice breaking, «But that's okay, I'll accept your help.» she said, pulling away from him and smiling slightly.

«You're a great guy and I don't know how much you know about Hanie's history, maybe I don't know everything myself, but one thing I can tell you.» she said in a calm voice, tears filling her eyes.

«You have to be patient with him.» she said, started to clean the table, «He will push you away, he thinks he deserves nothing. Don't take anything for granted with him.» she explained, seriously.

«I'll do my best» Minho said firmly, getting up from his chair. He grabbed Han's dinner and, after throwing a smile at Haru, headed upstairs.

The door was ajar and he pushed it trying not to make any noise, assuming Han was asleep. But he was awake, or at least he seemed to be. His eyes were open, motionless, staring at the ceiling.

Minho came in and placed the tray on the bedside table on Han's side - yes, Minho had his own side in that bed at that point. He slipped off his clothes, remaining only in his boxers, certain that Han wouldn't notice him, and leaned over in front of the bed.

«I'm going to take a shower, Ji, I'll be back soon.» 

Han nodded absently, but didn't look at him.

Minho washed quickly, eliminating the sweat of the tiring training day; he put on clean clothes and came back in the bedroom. He lay down next to Han, undecided on the type of contact most suitable for those moments.

Was he supposed to hug him? Was he supposed to let him be?

He opted for the best solution: to ask him.

«Ji, do you want me to hug you?»

Han just turned his head to look at his friend and then nodded: «Yes, please» he murmured, but did not move.

Minho sat with his back to the headboard and made Han rest his head on his abdomen, wrapping his legs around him and using his arms to go around his shoulders. It was a far from comfortable position, but that way Han could keep looking at the ceiling, but still feel wrapped up in Minho's body behind him.

«Thanks» he just said and remained silent with his gaze lost in space for an infinite time.

Minho spent another sleepless night, sitting up, with a sore back and Han leaning on him. The younger slept very little, the rest of the time he was motionless, often with his face covered by his thin arms. Sometimes a few tears left his eyes, accompanied by heartbreaking sounds.

«I'm here, Ji» Minho murmured, stroking his face and leaning down to give him little kisses on his forehead, eyebrows and the tip of his nose.

«I know» the youngest had replied once, «I feel you, Min»

Elle's note:

Hi cutieeees, sorry sorry sorry for the laaaate update, I'm working a lot and I'm trying to finish Members with benefits before!

Really hope you like this chap!!

Comment a lot, that makes me the strength to write!!

P.S. Have you already read my new minsung one shots? 

Kisses