«Jisung, can I ask you something?»

They were still lying on Minho's bed, Han with his head on the older's chest. The pizza would arrive shortly.

«Mh» Han nodded, without moving. He was getting used to being close to Minho, but he preferred not to meet his deep eyes. And the older caught him off guard as he took Han's arm gently and ran his fingers over his scars.

The younger shivered but didn't move, wondering what that boy had in mind. He repeatedly moved his eyes from Minho's face to his fingers, that were gently caressing his defects. 

Minho approached his skin and leaved a little kiss on his forearm, then he looked up and met Han's wide eyes.

«Next time, don't do it.» he whispered, making the heart of the younger skip a beat, «Next time, call me instead.»

Han swallowed dry and stared into those sweet eyes, feeling a sudden warmth invade him. A warmth he hadn't felt for a long time.

«I haven't done it for a long time» he said, looking away in embarrassment, «and I would never give you that responsibility.» he added, withdrawing the arms to his chest.

Minho frowned and continued to seek his elusive gaze: «Why?» he asked. He really wished Han would give him a chance to take care of him. He wished Jisung would give himself a chance to be loved. 

«Because it doesn't have to be another person to save me.» Han said, finally crossing Minho's eyes again, «I have to save myself. And you cannot feel responsible for another's life.»

Minho looked surprised by those words, thinking about how Han was also referring to Haneul, and nodded. The younger was right, but he still couldn't forgive himself for not saving his friend and he didn't want to lose anyone else. Not if it was avoidable.

Minho refrained from taking Han's small hands in his own, but looked at him with a serious gaze: «Will you at least promise me that you will let me be by your side, in the darkest moments?»

Han felt those deep eyes searching his soul, in places where he himself was afraid to look.

That boy knew nothing about him, he carried a very heavy burden inside his heart and yet he was capable of saying certain things. He was capable of getting close to someone again, and someone like Han among all. Anyone else would have run away, terrified, and maybe they would have made the best choice.

But not Minho. He was so strong.

Han felt a deep sense of admiration, he was flattered by those attentions, by Minho's interest, which he still didn't fully understand, but it was still too much for him.

«Are you trying to be romantic?» he grinned, unable to bear that seriousness and that look.

Minho smiled back, realizing it was best to lighten the mood:

«Oh, you have no idea how romantic I can be!» he smirked, poking Han's side.

Han jerked away and covered himself with a pillow: «If you just try to tickle me, I won't talk to you anymore!» he snapped, pointing a finger at the older.

Minho smiled mischievously, ready to approach Jisung's belly, but he was interrupted by the ringing of the bell.

«You're damned lucky, Han Jisung» he laughed, getting out of bed to go to the entrance.

Han sighed, but a stupid smile formed on his lips. He was so comfortable with Minho, he felt so safe. He felt loved. 

They ate pizza, zapping stupid, trashy TV shows, laughing at anything. Han hadn't laughed so much in years and Minho couldn't stop enjoying that sound. Jisung had such an infectious laugh, so pleasant.

Until, around 11 pm, Han's phone rang, as they sat on the couch giggling. Minho quickly turned down the volume, allowing Han to answer his mother.

«Honey, do I have to pick you up? It's late» Haru was worried. From Minho's house it took at least half an hour to walk back and you had to go through streets that, during the night, were not very safe.

«Wait, I ask Minho» Han turned to his friend, «What time do I get picked up?»

Minho didn't have to think even for a moment: «Don't make her come» he said, with a low voice, «Sleep here»

Han gulped and went back to answering his mom, unable to hold that gaze: «M-mom, we don't want to disturb you, I'm staying here for the night.» he said, trying to sound cool.

«Oh wow. Do you have condoms?» she asked, making Han blush like hell.

«Mom, what the fuck! Goodnight!» he screamed, hanging up the call, while his mother on the other end of the phone cackled.

Minho smiled looking at Han, he was fully tomato red: «What did she tell you to make you blush like that?»

«Leave it alone, sometimes she's crazy» Han mumble, still avoiding Minho's eyes.

The older looked at that sweet face for a few moments too long, passing his gaze over those protruding lips, fighting against the urge to hold him tight.

«Okay!» he exclaimed, getting up from the couch to put some distance between them, «Can you help me get the couch ready?»

Han looked at Minho, puzzled. 

"The couch?"

«You will sleep comfortably in my bed, I'll stay on the sofa» the older explained.

Han's eyes widened, his face looking more and more like that of a scared squirrel as he asked: «Don't... Don't we sleep together?»

Minho melted in front of those eyes. He tried to fight the urge to press his lips against Han's and smiled: «If you are comfortable, I would like it.»

Han simply nodded, getting up from the sofa. 

«But I warn you...» Minho added, with a smirk, «I sleep naked»

Han almost fell off, moving away from his friend, and Minho burst out laughing:

«I'm joking! Why are you so innocent?» he asked, ironically. Han wasn't innocent at all, he was far too sensitive and receptive when it came to sexual references.

«I'm not innocent» he muttered, recomposing.

«Hm, as you say, baby» Minho mocked him, pulling off his shirt in front of his shocked friend. Jisung looked away quickly, but not before taking a look at Minho's chest and blushing even more. That boy was sexy.

«Then let's go to bed» the older said, smirking. He loved seeing Han flustered.

«O-okay» the younger stammered, getting up and going to Minho's room, trying not to look in his direction, «C-can you lend me some clothes?» he asked then.

Minho opened his closet and bent down, making his back muscles twitch. Han held his breath, unable to take his eyes off his bare back until the older pulled on a white T-shirt, giving his heart some peace. Minho then grabbed a t-shirt for his guest and handed it to him.

«What about pants?» the younger asked, shaking. He hoped Minho hadn't noticed his gaze on his body.

«It's hot under the duvet» Minho explained, «and then I want to see you with only my shirt on» he added, calmly.

Han bit his lip, blushing like hell, and quickly headed to the bathroom to change.

Was Minho hitting on him again? 

He found himself hoping that was true, this time. It wasn't like in the Café, when Minho was just a good-looking boy who liked to make jokes about him. Now that boy had opened up to him, he was looking at him with sweet and intense eyes. And Han felt good under that look.

He looked in the mirror and thought he wanted to be beautiful, for Minho. He wanted him to find him sexy and cute.

But again, some unhealthy words made their way through his thoughts, the words of a certain ex-boyfriend, who once again tried to snatch his good mood.

He looked away from that reflection, that face he could no longer find beautiful, and slipped in the Minho's loose shirt, that smelled of him.

He tried to fight back the tears and gloomy thoughts and let the idea of Minho engulf his brain. His smile, his scent, his eyes, his sweet voice. 

"I'm with Minho, now" he kept repeating to himself.

He washed his face, rinsing his mouth with Minho's mouthwash - doesn't count as an indirect kiss, does it? - and came back to the bedroom. Minho was already on the bed, one arm behind his head, waiting for him.

Han appeared shyly at the door. The shirt Minho had given him was specially long and reached mid-thigh.

«Can you not look at me?» Han asked, hiding behind the door. That thread of confidence that seemed to emerge just before, disappeared at the sight of those eyes.

He wasn't handsome, he didn't feel handsome. He felt ridiculous.

Minho smiled and closed his eyes: «Of course, baby Jisung»

«Please, stop calling me like that!» Han grumbled, quickly slipping under the sheets.

«Ok, princess» Minho mocked him, opening his eyes and turning to him. 

«Don't you dare!» Han snapped, with a menacing look.

Minho smiled, trying not to think that he had Han Jisung in his bed. He'd dreamed about it so many times in the past few days that he still couldn't believe it was true.

«You're almost scary, I have to admit it» he smirked and Han slapped him on the shoulder in response.

«But seriously» he spoke again, crossing Jisung's eyes, «that shirt looks great on you.»

Han fell silent, pulling the blankets over his nose: «Thank you, I guess» he murmured, «And it's not that hot down here anyway»

Minho spread his arms with a smile: «We have to hug each other to warm up, that was my plan.»

Han couldn't help smiling and curled up in Minho's arms.

How was that possible? How could it all be so simple? After everything he'd been through, could he still get hugged like this?

Did he still have the desire to be loved? The hope to be loved?

«What are you thinking about?» Minho asked, stroking Jisung's hair and poking his nose into it. It smelled of musk and vanilla.

«Nothing» Han lied, trying not to tremble against Minho's body. It was the cold, wasn't it?

«I hear the sound of the locomotive in your head» Minho jokes, patting his head.

Han slapped Minho's shoulder again but then smiled.

«It's strange...» he started, shyly, «I didn't think I'd be able to... You know, have a friend» he said, «and even do... This.» he added, pointing to the two of them embracing.

Minho stroked Han's hair again and sighed: «I'd like to ask you why, but I'm afraid of hurting you with my questions» he confessed, still holding Jisung tightly in his arms. The head of the younger sank into his chest and Minho started caressing Han's back with his free hand.

Jisung was silent for a moment, trying to understand if he would be able to tell his life story. Minho couldn't see his face well, but he felt that small body squirm against his. The younger was tense.

«It's probably too much to tell» Han said, «I don't even know where to start and, yeah, I'd probably cry from start to the end» he sighed, unconsciously clinging to Minho.

«It's okay if you cry when you're with me» Minho whispered to his ear, without stopping for a moment to cuddle him, «but don't force yourself. You can tell me what you want and only if you want.» 

Han sighed: «Well... I was bullied a lot as a kid. I can tell you this.» he said. That was the easy part.

«And I convinced myself that I was ugly.» he added. It was damn painful to say it out loud.

«You? Ugly?» Minho moved away from Han slightly, to be able to look at his face, «You know that's not true, don't you?»

Han stayed silent, his eyes were shining. It wasn't just the words of some stupid kids that still haunted him, though bullying always leaves marks, but it was the fact that Eun said it too. And that a part of Han had always thought that the violence suffered was because of his appearance. 

Minho raised an eyebrow: «They could have told you anything! That you are an asshole, that you talk too much, but... Ugly?» Minho was trying to make him laugh and Han smiled a bit, a tear running down his face. 

«Han Jisung» he called him, making his fingers lift Han's chin, «I think you are one of the most beautiful human beings on the planet» he said, looking into his eyes.

Han looked down, a mix of emotions in his head. He wanted to believe those words, he wanted it with all his heart, like when Seojun said them. And with him, for a few moments, he had almost believed it.

«My best friend said that too» he whispered. 

«Well, he was right!» Minho snapped, unaware of the whirlwind of emotions gripping Jisung.

"And he's gone too" Han thought, sighing. He wasn't ready to talk about Seojun. Not yet.

«My father died two years ago» he said instead, with a bitter grimace. His life was a list of bad luck, the situation was almost ridiculous.

Minho looked at him with a pained look, waiting for him to go on.

«The last thing I said to him was "I hate you" because he didn't accept that I was gay.» he added, clutching Minho's shirt.

The older grabbed Han's legs with his own, twisting them together, and pressed him tightly to his chest. There wasn't much he could say, just that he knew, he knew what it was like to feel guilty about someone who was gone. He knew what it was like to want to go back in time to not live with remorse. And after his story about Haneul, he didn't even help to tell Han. He knew it too.

«Maybe you're the only one who can understand me» Han said.

He didn't look up at Minho because he felt fragile. He was fragile and he knew that, if he looked at that beautiful face of his friend right now, he would try to kiss him. He would have needed to kiss him.

And Minho held Han's little body close to him, leaving small kisses on his hair, thinking exactly the same thing: "If he looks at me now, I won't be able to hold back any longer."

«And you're the only one who understands me» he murmured instead.

They remained in that position for a long time, a few tears lined their faces, while both thought about their own life and that of the other.

And they fell asleep like this, embracing each other this time.

Yes, just like in a kdrama.

Elle's note:

Hi beauties!! I am sooo tired so please tell me if you find any mistakes!!

I hope you like this chap!! Let me know <3 

P.S. How are you, my stars?