Jungkook's POV

I am standing in the balcony and I was saddened at the thought of my deceased child. I pressed my lips in a tight line.

Oo nga pala. Hindi siya akin.

Ji-hu...

Sa totoo lang, gusto kong hilingin na sana ay akin ang bata. I was there when he was born, it was me who named him and I was there with him till the moment he had left us. Minahal ko 'yung bata, I stood as his parent, and didn't abandon him unlike what my own parents did to me.

I chose Ji-hu. At kahit na sising-sisi ako sa ginawa kong 'yun, pinili ko parin siya.

At sobrang sakit dahil paulit-ulit saaking pinapamukha na sobrang mali nang desisyon kong 'yon. Si Ji-hu ang nagsilbing karma ko sa lahat nang ginawa kong pananakit kay Jimin-hyung.

"Jungkook,"

Natauhan ako nang marinig ko ang boses na 'yon. I turned to look at his direction, Jimin-hyung waves his hand. He was looking at me with a blanket wrapped around his small frame.

"Malalim yata ang iniisip mo." Puna niya saakin, hindi agad ako nakasagot.

"I'm guessing, you misses your child." I felt myself tenses sa sinabi niyang 'yon. He guesses what's on my mind.

"He's probably cute, just like his father." He said chuckling. Hindi parin ako makapagsalita. I know he's trying to lighten the mood.

"You're right with that." I lied at hindi ko magawang tumingin sakanya.

"I wanna see his pictures though." Bahid sa boses niya ang pagka-excite. "I don't have my phone right now, I'll send you one later." I assured him.

"Great!" My heart warms, sa kabila ng mga nangyari ay tanggap niya 'yung bata. Nakikita ko 'yung excitement sa mga mata niya and honestly, ayoko sanang putulin 'yung excitement na nararamdaman niyang 'yon but I have to tell him.

"But... hyung." Pareho kaming napalingon sa isa't-isa. "He's not with us anymore." His eyes widened. Iniwas ko agad ang tingin ko. Tumahimik ang paligid. Bumigat bigla 'yung pakiramdam ko.

"I'm..." Jimin-hyung trailed off. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to bring it so casually."

"No," umiling ako. "Don't apologize." Hindi parin ako makatitig sakanya. Heavy silence filled the air.

Ito lang ang kaya kong sabihin sakanya. I couldn't bring myself to tell him that, Ji-hu isn't my son. I don't want him to pity me. Ayokong mag iba ang trato niya saakin at gawin itong rason para ibigay niya ulit ang tiwala niya saakin. I'll earn his trust sa paraang kaya kong ibigay sakanya. I won't be using Ji-hu for that.

"It must've been hard... I mean losing a child." Hindi ako makasagot at piniling makinig lamang.

Agad naman akong napatingin sakanya when he spoke again, "Again, I'm sorry. Hindi ko talaga alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko sayo. I know I should comfort you but I can't think of anything to make you feel better." Nakikita ko 'yung pagka-bothered niya. Hindi ko maiwasan ang mapangiti na lang.

"Hyung," I called out para pakalmahin ito. "Okay lang. I'm fine." Malungkot lang itong nakatitig saakin ngunit pinili niyang huwag na lamang magsalita, nginitian niya ako apologetically at iniwas ang tingin niya saakin.

"It's cold out here." Jimin-hyung broke our silence, "and you're just wearing a shirt, get back inside now." Puna niya at bigla naman akong natawa.

"You're right." Sabi ko, agreeing.

"Good night, then." Sabi ko.

"Say that while looking at me." I laugh and faces at his direction. "Sabihin mo ulit saakin 'yon." He demanded.

"Goodnight, hyung." Sabi ko ulit habang nakangiti.

"Goodnight." He mumbled and gestures me to get inside. Patawa akong tumango sakanya at pumasok narin sa loob.

***

"Thank you." I muttered and took the freshly baked bread. Lumabas ako nang shop at dumeretso sa kaharap nitong flower shop.

I bought a bouquet of pink roses. Inilapit ko 'yon sa ilong ko para amuyin habang naglalakad pabalik sa apartment. I still remember how he reacted when I gave him one. Tiyak matutuwa ito kapag ibinigay ko 'to sakanya.

Nang makarating ako sa harap ng kanyang pintuan ay sa hindi malamang dahilan ay bigla akong nakaramdam nang kaba. Na para bang bumalik ako sa panahon na, ito 'yung unang beses na gusto ko siyang ma-impress.

"Hey." Bati ko sakanya and he still had this surprised expression on his face. He was staring at me wide eyed with his pouty lips, naka-bed hair pa ito. He absolutely looked stunning.

Kumunot-noo siya, "Jungkook?" I chuckle. Ibinibaba niya ang tingin niya sa mga dala-dala ko.

"No way," Bulong niya saka itinaas ulit ang tingin niya saakin. Sinagot ko lang siya nang ngiti at ibinigay sakanya ang bouquet of pink roses.

"I got you these as well." I hand the paper bag to him. Tinanggap naman niya 'yon at nagpasalamat ulit saakin.

"Sige, enjoy your breakfast. Alis na ko." Paalam ko.

"No, wait! Nag breakfast kana ba?" Habol niya. Ngumiti ako.

"Wala pa nga eh."

"Come in, ipagtitimpla kita ng kape."

"Can I?"

"I told you we can't date just yet, di ko naman sinabi na hindi ka welcome pumasok." And then he rolled his eyes.

Isinarado ko ang pintuan at nakita ko siyang inaamoy ang bulaklak. He likes it.

Pumunta kami sa kitchen, maliit lang 'yon at magkaharap lang sila halos ng living area.

"Have a sit." Utos niya. Inilapag niya ang bouquet of roses sa mesa pati ang binili kong bread.

Nakatalikod ito habang humihikab at hinihintay na uminit ang kettle. He was wearing a plain white tshirt, at hindi ko sinasadyang mapuna ang katawan nito. Manipis ang shirt, at nakikita ko ang hubog ng katawan nito- I scolded myself internally, hindi ko dapat pinagnanasahan si Jimin-hyung.

"Fuck." Mura ko nang maramdaman ko ang pag init ng leeg ko. I touch it and felt how hot it was.

"Jungkook?"

When I looked up. Nakita ko itong nakatingin saakin.

"H-huh?"

"May problema ba? Are you okay?"

"I am!" Halos pasigaw kong sambit. Nakita ko ang pagka-gulat sakanyang mukha. Ngumiti ako.

"I am okay." Ulit ko.

"Owkay?" Patawa niyang tugon.

"Go," Sabi niya sabay turo sa living area. "Just stay there." Sumunod na lamang ako sa sinabi niya. Nahihiya na kasi akong tumingin pa. Sa lahat kasi ng pwedeng isipin, bakit 'yun pa.

"Here." Aniya at tinanggap ko naman ang kape na inaalok niya. Umupo siya sa tabi ko at inilapit sa bibig ang mug na hawak hawak niya.

"Hindi ba dapat nagpapahinga ka?" Tanong niya sabay tingin saakin.

"I know, but I usually wake up at 5 am. Hindi na rin ako nakakatulog pagkatapos." Tumango-tango siya.

"How do you know this bread is my favorite?"

"It's your favorite?" I asked surprised. He chuckle. "So, di mo pala alam." Tugon niya.

"I asked them what the famous bread in this town is and told me this one." He hummed in response.

Maya-maya pa ay biglang nag-iba ang ihip ng hangin sa tinanong nito.

"I'm curious," Paninimula niya. "How did you get to know, Sunoo." Napahinto ako duon at tinignan ito ng mabuti. I was looking in his eyes- and when I didn't see anything. I felt myself being at ease.

"We happened to meet at Han River. He recognizes me as someone you knew."

"Okay, that made sense." He nods his head. He didn't sound disturbed.

"But Sunoo hide the fact that you are... you know, alive. He cares for you and didn't want you get hurt, again-"

"But then decided to tell you in the end." Jimin-hyung cuts in, I nodded weakly.

"Sunoo, does have trouble on keeping things secret anyway." Patawang sambit niya. "Did you treat him well? Mabait saakin 'yun, sila ng Kuya niya." I chuckled.

"I heard a lot from him." Sagot ko naman, "And yeah, I did, of course." Pagpapatuloy ko at nakita ko naman kung papaano siya natuwa sa sinabi ko.

"I cut contacts with them." Bigla niyang sambit, I bit my lower lip. "Miss kana nun." I added.

"Wala na akong balak bumalik pa sa Seoul." And he was looking directly at me with a serious look on his face.

"He can always visit me here, I assumed everyone knows already-"

"Your brother doesn't know." Pagtatama ko. Seokjin, Namjoon, his family doesn't know. I told them not to... just not yet.

"Brother?"

"Seokjin-hyung, your brother." As soon as it escaped from my lips, his expression immediately changes. He was now looking at me with cold expression.

"I don't have a brother, Jungkook." He said sarcastically, "He abandoned me so technically, he isn't my brother anymore." He scoffed and glared at me. Natakot ako bigla sa pinapakita nitong reaksyon, nag-aalala ako na baka anu mang oras ay palayasin niya ako't hilingin na wag na akong makita. I shouldn't have said that, 'yan ang paulit-ulit na sinasabi ng utak ko.

"Nakakatawa ka." He spat out. "Don't mention him again. Ever." Pagalit niyang sambit. Iniwas niya ang tingin niya saakin at tila pinapakalma nito ang sarili niya. Hindi ko magawang magsalita, lapitan, o ibuka man lang ang bibig ko para humingi ng tawad. I was too stunned to speak.

Nagulat ako ng bigla niyang inilapag ang mug niya sa mesa, I saw it spilled, I looked at him worried dahil napaso ang kamay nito.

"Hyu-"

"You are so fucking stupid, Jungkook!" He shouted at padabog na tumayo. Sinundan ko siya at hinawakan sa braso pero agad niyang binawi 'yon at hinarap ako.

"Jimin-hyung,"

"Don't fucking touch me! You're so stupid. Stupid! Stupid! We were having a good time but you just have to ruin it! Putangina!"

"Are you happy?, does hurting me makes you happy?! Why did I even ask when I knew the answer for it!" He stated firmly. I felt a lump forming in my throat, at ang biglang pagsikip ng dibdib ko.

Dahan-dahan namang nawala 'yung galit sa mukha niya at napalitan nang pag-aalala. He inhaled sharply, nakikita ko ang disappointment sa mukha nito and then he turned his back on me.

"I... I'm sorry." He whispered. Maya-maya pa ay nakita ko ang panginginig ng balikat nito. Nilapitan ko siya.

"Hyung," He lifted his head, eyes full of tears.

"Sorry, hindi ko napigilan ang galit ko sa Kuya ko. I should've control myself- but I can't! Di ko sinasadya. I know you're trying and hindi ko dapat sinabi sayo yun- I... I'm sorry-" Hinila ko ito at niyakap nang mahigpit.

Masakit na nakikita siyang nagkakaganito and I felt so helpless, dahil hindi ko alam kung papaano siya tutulungan. I can't stand it yet wala akong magawa.

"It's okay," Mahina kong sambit. "It's okay." Ulit ko, calming him down.

"It is not." I heard him mumbled. Humiwalay siya sa yakap at tinignan ako sa mga mata. Nakakunot-noo itong nakatitig saakin, his eyes glistening with tears.

"It is, Hyung." I stresses. Hinawakan ko ang magkabilang pisngi niya at pinunasan ang mga luhang nagbabadyang tumulo.

"Tahan na." I told him and smiled silently telling him everything is fine.

even though it was actually the opposite inside.