this chapter is dedicated to ShadowCrow44, who has kept me writing for all these long months away from Wattpad. thank you, my dearest friend. without you, I would've given up.
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30/8/2018 - edited 11/2/2019

Ian's POV

I opened my eyes, slowly, staring up at the whitewashed ceiling, aglow with the morning sun. The curtains had drifted open in the night, the windows having been opened to let the summer breeze in. I wanted to savour this moment. This rare moment of peace. I listened to the dancing and enticing birdsong from outside and decided to give into it. I sat up wearily, scar aching in dull pain, as always. I had been back with my friends for nearly 2 months, and I was growing more and more nervous and tense by the day. Why? Because, Derp had been silent. Deathly silent. It was terrifying, even more so than his sadistic memories and voice infiltrating my mind constantly. I kept trying to communicate with him, but it was like hitting a brick wall with my head repeatedly.

Firespark soothed me: 'Enjoy it! Maybe he's dead.' or 'Stop trying to talk to him, it may bring him back and then you'll blame yourself.' Sky said, 'Maybe he gave up? I don't blame him. You put up one hell of a fight, man!' So I stopped talking to them about it. Tried to enjoy myself more, enjoy life. I got back into the old hobbies I used to enjoy, sparring with Ty and the others. Slowly, but surely, the fear and sadness faded from their ashen faces, to be replaced with gently, glowing relief. I grew stronger, more athletic again, quicker and craftier in battle, no longer reliant on the animal in my head to win my fights for me. I didn't miss Derp! Hell no! I just missed knowing what the heck he was planning...so that I could stop him before it got out of control. But, this silence prevented me from doing so. It was maddening. Like someone had abruptly pulled a plug or turned a switch in my head. Nothing but the static of my brain now. I kept replaying over my last interaction with him, about 5 weeks ago now. It had been in a dream, and it hadn't seemed off for him at the time, but anxiety had me overanalysing every single word or action that had been exchanged when it had happened; searching for an explanation, for anything.

"Oh but you knew something didn't you Ian? You knew something was giving you nightmares. Twisting your, thoughts." I wriggled, trying to dislodge his grasp on me. He grinned widely. "Someday my motives will become clear to you. But, as of right now-" He slammed my back up against the wall hard, knocking the breath from me. I gripped his hand, gasping for it. He let go and I leaned over, panting. He picked up the swords I dropped and pointed them at me. "If I'm not mistaken, you seem to enjoy being in your head more than you do being in the real world."

I shuddered at the grim memory. That was a dream from about a month ago; the last time we encountered one another. Why did he leave after that? I cradled my head in my hands, sighing sadly. My brain was aching from thinking about this for so long. I needed a break, or preferably, a goddamn vacation. I staggered to my feet and stumbled to the window, yawning and rubbing my eyes. A bird was perched on the windowsill, singing softly. I smiled at it, my crooked eyes reflected dimly in the glass from the morning sun. I was slowly getting used to them; I still despised what Derp had done to me, but at least I could hide them behind my sunglasses. A haggard stretch and a few back crunches later and I wandered out of my bedroom door. I passed Sky, Mitch and Ty's rooms, before easing the door to FireSpark's one open and peering in quietly. She was curled up, facing away from the door, her side rising and falling slowly in sleep.

Part of me wanted to nuzzle in beside her and hold her in my arms, breathing in the sweet scent of her honey hair, but the other part knew it was time to take a break. We'd been doing that every morning for the past few weeks. I needed a day alone, to process and think by myself. At least not even Derp could interrupt me today. I crept down the wooden stairs, dancing around each creaking plank; I'd mapped them out in my head during the past month or so. My fingers ran over the walls beside me lazily, tracing round the smooth cobblestone lumps, and brushing through the wooden grooves of the kitchen panels, as I transitioned from room to room. The house was asleep, and a clock on the wall told me it was 4:30am. I breathed a deep, relaxing sigh of relief. It was so nice to be alone. I felt like my old self again for the first time in years. It was utterly blissful.

I tentatively poked about with the locks of the front door to open it, listening out for anyone else in the house. Nothing. My raised hackles finally fell for the first time in months, and as I pushed the door open wide, the cool breeze and warming sun fell upon me with a rich golden rush of life and nature. My body relaxed, feeling like my own for once, and my tense jaw muscles managed to arrange themselves into a smile. I was happy. I stepped out into the day and shut the door behind me, before pacing out across dew-dropped grass, dragging ever inch of fresh air that I could get into my lungs. My floppy brown hair bounced lazily upon my forehead, and I ran a gentle finger over the deep creases and lines engraved into my skin. Years of pain and years of grief and anxiety. It seemed to be all slowly fading. I jumped over a small, gushing brook, and surveyed my surroundings. My friends live in a large wood and brick house, on top of a hill, that overlooks the large town of Glassgate.

Glassgate is a traditional, picturesque place that is tucked away in a deep valley, known as, Rumbling Stones Valley. My friends lived upon a rocky outcrop, looking out over it from above. Legend has it, that it is named as such due to the many earthquakes and tectonic activity that used to take place a few hundred miles from here, hence shaking the hills about and sending their stones and boulders rumbling down the cliff-faces. There are also rather more far fetched tales of dragons and giants, but they are obviously less believed; those folk stories are more in league with the legends of the Wither and the Enderdragon. A horrible thought crossed my mind, as I stood upon that hill, gazing down upon Glassgate; long, thigh-high grass swaying and swooshing around me in the cool summer breeze, my face and skin illuminated and painted in the tranquil hues of the sunrise. What if I was passed into legend? The legend of a bloodthirsty man who murdered and slaughtered his way across Minecraftia, with no one able to stop him?

I sighed, the brilliant day greying slightly. I didn't want that. I had forgotten about Derp, since he'd gone silent in my head, but now, all of his grisly memories had rushed back to me. There was no escape. Who was I kidding? He would always be in my mind. I flopped down upon the grass, picking at the stems and sneezing a little from the seeds that exploded upon my contact with them. I fought back a wave of nausea, shuddering a little as anxiety washed through, deathly cold upon my insides and creating sweat upon my skin. I drew my knees to my chest, and watched the placid town slowly coming to life, as the morning progressed.

Did you miss me, Ian Stapleton?

Oh no. My blood ran like ice within my veins; heart thumping and stomach wrenched with crippling nausea. What had I done?! I had brought him back by thinking about him! I whimpered, shivering from anxiety. "N-no...why couldn't you have just, s-stayed gone? Leave me alone! Get out of my head!"

Look, I don't have time for this right now, Ian. This is important. Get in here with me, now.

"No! N-no! I won't! You can't make me-!"

I'll let you out, Ian. I-I, promise that I will.

I stared ahead into blank space, shoulders heaving in barely concealed panic and horror, but, my brain had glazed over in shock. Were these really the words of Derp SSundee? The renowned, merciless, cold-blooded killer of this century?
I wasn't buying it.

Ian...please. I...I need to tell you-...you really need to know something. Just, trust me-

"I'm not trusting you! You fucking psycho! Why the heck would I ever trust you?!"

Ian-

He sounded angry now.

"No, Derp! Would YOU trust you?!"

Look...get in here now, Ian. Or else, I will drag you in.

I hated the malice in his words. It was bloody terrifying, and spoke of cruel possible pain that he could easily inflict upon me, if he so decided to.

Choice is yours, Ian. The easy way, or the hard way? After all, it's your body and mind, isn't it?, he spat venomously.

I trembled, then bit my lip, and shut my eyes tight. I couldn't believe that I was letting him do this to me, again, I-...wait, no!

My eyes snapped open again; I'd changed my mind, but it was too late... I was back in my head, but this time, instead of the usual blank expanse of bright white that it usually was, I was surrounded by impenetrable darkness. It felt endless, but also suffocating, as if there were walls to it that were hemmed in around me, tangible in the air. As I stood still, observing this, my breath fogged in front of my face, but I wasn't cold. I strained to hear something, Derp, maybe, but all was deathly silent. Somehow, I felt that even if I screamed, the sound would simply be sucked away, as if I was trapped inside of a huge vacuum.

"Not nice here, is it, Ian?"

Two crimson, crooked eyes had suddenly appeared mere millimetres away from my face. Derp's hot breath hit my face. He snarled. I screamed and fell back, hitting the ground. The eyes flicked down to stare at me, half-lidded in an almost bored looking way. "Even after all this time, and I can still scare you shitless with simple ease." I scowled, baring my teeth in a retaliating, animalistic snarl. "I suppose you're going to say that I 'can't be scared of myself' or some bullshit like that again, aren't you? Well guess what, Derp; we're still not the same person, and never, ever will be!" The eyes blinked slowly. "I know, Ian." His soft tone took me by surprise. "W-wait, w-what-?" Derp sighed, then his eyes closed. I was left alone in the darkness. I whimpered. "D-Derp? Where the crap have you gone? Come back! It's too dark in here to-" "To be left alone?" I started as his strangled tones appeared in my ear, whispering menacingly.

"Yes, Ian. I know it is. I was left here to rot alone for years, and years. It. Wasn't. Fun." I swallowed hard. "Well, n-not my problem, dude." He scowled, and I bared my teeth back. We held this vicious stare for a few moments, then he drew back and blinked, laughing softly. "You have no idea of what I know, do you?... You don't...remember." I folded my arms. "Yeah, what was it you wanted to tell me again? Get on with it, will you? I have a normal, happy life to be getting on with outside of this hellhole." Derp hesitated, then I saw his eyes slowly floating away from me; he was going someplace else. I shifted from foot to foot, then sighed heavily in exasperation and followed him reluctantly. "What?! Tell me!" Silence. The eyes disappeared. I started to get nervous. "This better not be a trap! This b-body is mine now. I've gotten braver since you've been silent the past few weeks! You can't take me over. I-I won't let you." A cold breeze suddenly hit me in the face. I doubled back, gasping, eyes shutting. The air around me grew icy and I shielded my face from the sudden drop in temperature.

I became aware of a blindingly disorientating flash of red and white light. "You left me alone here, Ian. We used to be best friends...you and I. Then, one day...I was abandoned, by you... I told you before, about how I have spent years in darkness, before I saw your life appear before my eyes. I saw how happy you were, without me... You didn't need me...but, I-I needed you!" I gritted my teeth and shut my eyes tight. "What the hell are you talking about, dude?!" A shadow passed in front of me and I opened my eyes a crack. Derp was standing against the flashing red and white light, silhouetted against it, like a lanky, thin, black ghost. His icy blue eyes were wide and full of pain. He was staring right at me. I gasped, shivering from the cold, my breath fogging upwards from it from every harrowing breath I drew. His gaze dropped to the ground, eyebrows furrowing deeply.

"After we last met, I told you that you and I are no longer so, different... Well, as I said that, you may remember blacking out afterward. That's because I was hit by an overwhelming feeling that I was wrong. So strong in fact, that it knocked me out of sorts for several days. Nothing I did or felt or thought or said, felt right anymore. I wanted to know why...so, I delved into your memories." I bared my teeth. "You...what?! Those are mine, you creep!" He stepped closer, eyes now meeting mine, with a scarily intense gaze. "What I discovered, was undeniably shocking." He abruptly grabbed hold of mu chin with his hand, dragging me closer to him. We stood nose-to-nose, his pupils dilating as he narrowed his eyes. He smelt like metal, and the attic; like something musty that had been hidden away and forgotten about, for many, many years. I couldn't pull away, those crooked eyes were like a cobra's, hypnotising me into standing my ground. "Do you know what it is, Ian?" I scowled. "If I did, we wouldn't be here right now, would we, idiot?" I spat at him, every syllable laced with the purest hatred I had for him, and each word made sure to be dripping with venom. He looked almost sad though, as he uttered the words that would soon change both our lives.

"You made me, Ian."

I stared at him. "You...wait, what?" Derp stepped away, relinquishing his grip upon my chin as he did so. I straightened up, rubbing it, still scowling suspiciously, albeit slightly uneasily after he had said that bold statement. "You, uh...wanna, elaborate on that one, Derp?" Derp swivelled round on his heels, staring into the pulsating light before us. It seemed to encompass everything around us, the whole area, the very air itself seemed to be vibrating with a psychedelic frequency of colour. I found myself to be almost captured by it. It was beautiful, in a very sinister way. Almost like a freshly sharpened diamond sword, ready for the slaughter. Derp glanced at me over his shoulder. "It'd be easier to show you, really, than explain what I'm talking about. Maybe, I could jog your memory a bit." I cross my arms, glaring at him in a way that I just hoped clearly said 'fuck off'. "Cut it out, you freaking psycho! You once killed my wife, why the hell should I listen to you?!" Derp smiled bitterly. "I wouldn't of have, if I was made to be a sane person, like you." "Quit playing mind games with me, Derp, you're freaking me out now!" "Don't be scared Ian, I'll be right beside you, always."

My stomach seemed to drop out of my legs as he said that, and my heart skipped about 5 beats, lancing my chest with breathless pain. My eyes were wider than they had ever been. My throat had gone dry. I was standing stock still, but on the inside, I was trembling like a leaf. What had he just said? I could feel memories stirring, old, forgotten ones, pressing affectionately against each nerve and pulsing vein in my skull, then biting, savagely, snarling and screaming with a shrieking vengeance. Derp gazed at me, he looked vacant and worn, standing before me, my eyes straining to see him against the bright, piercing lights. I'll be right beside you, always...

Then, I felt violently sick. Cold all over. My face was wet. Warm. I was scared. Tears were dripping steadily from my cheeks. Derp was in front of me then, holding me by the shoulders; steadying me. Oh...oh, god. My thoughts turned to mush as that phrase spun dizzyingly around and through my brain, ricocheting about in all directions.

I'll be right beside you, always...
I'll be right beside you...
Friends forever, Derp!
I'd never hurt you, Ian.
They're scaring me, Derp!
Don't worry, I won't let them hurt you.

I'll be right beside you, always... I'll protect you, always...

"Ian...Ian, I'm sorry, I should've warned you better, but I needed you to know, now. I've been stuck with this since you went to sleep last night. I had to share it with you. Had to tell you - was too important - hope you understand - sorry - Ian- Ian - can - hear me-"

Derp's voice faded in and out.

I couldn't breathe. I was jerked out of the mind-space and my eyes shot open. I couldn't do it. I had had to get out of there.

I was back on the grassy hilltop. Birds, singing. Peace... No more blinding lights. Just soft, filtering, morning sunlight. Villagers slowly waking up, one by one, and beginning to go about their working days. I was shaking violently all over, my heart racing, like a beating drum in my ears. I still couldn't breathe. My chest felt incredibly tight and nothing around me felt real. I curled my fingers desperately into the soft, now sun-warmed grass around me, searching for an anchor to reality. Derp's voice was echoing soundlessly in my head, rebounding on the walls of my skull. I'll be right beside you, always... What did that mean?!

And then I realised, he had given me a choice. He could have just told me everything in one go, but he had instead simply given me one line. A trigger. I could either release it and let it wreak havoc upon my brain, revealing all to me that I had forgotten about us, or...

I could continue to repress my past. I must have done it for a reason in the first place. Surely, the now was more important than the then? That would be the better decision.

But...would it be?

I had two choices now; and I had to make one.

A horrible thought crossed my mind, as I stood upon that hill, gazing down upon Glassgate; long, thigh-high grass swaying and swooshing around me in the cool summer breeze, my face and skin illuminated and painted in the tranquil hues of the sunrise. What if I was passed into legend? The legend of a bloodthirsty man who murdered and slaughtered his way across Minecraftia, with no one able to stop him?

What if I could stop him, now?

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(A/N: Header art drawn by me, do not save or distribute it elsewhere than this chapter. I do not give permission for it to be done so. I'll try to update this again soon, I have a lot of plans for it that I need to get to.)