Louis POV

I wake up and I'm hot, too hot. As I come to my senses, I realise I'm not alone in the bed. That I'm in someone's arms, against someone's chest. Harry's smell is everywhere, and his arms are so warm and safe, I know it's him before I even open my eyes. Last night comes rushing back to me. I fell asleep with Lacey when I was meant to drive home. Dam it, I then remember my dream. Harry was in a car crash, and he died right in front of my eyes. Why the hell did I dream that and why did it affect me so much? Harry calming me down comes back to me as well as the stupid panic attack I had. I can't deny having Harry here and being in his arms last night was what I needed. I felt so safe and when he called me baby, the pet name he always called me when we were together, I instantly relaxed. I missed being in his arms, his tight hold on me so comforting. God, I miss him, but I can't have him, and I can't face him again in the light of day it's all too much.

I remember the boys last night suffocating me, it's like they are trying to force Harry on me, and I hate it. Don't they understand Harry made his choice when he left, it's like they are trying to blame the whole thing on me, like it's my fault he left, and I should be quick to welcome him back with open arms. Don't they remember how hurt I was? They seem to think Harry was my saviour and they think I'm going off the track again and I need Harry to bring me back. They can all go fuck themselves, it makes me so angry. I'm in control of my own life not them. I can't take being here anymore.

Before I can change my mind I'm slowly getting up off the bed, trying not to wake Harry, he stirs but rolls over. I look towards his gorgeous sleeping form. I ache to be in his arms, but I'll deny myself that pleasure for eternity if it means Harry is happier and has a much better life like he wanted, without me. I sigh. I grab my bag from the corner. The clock says 4am. I sneak out of the room and out of the house and into my car and I start the long drive back to London alone. So many emotions and feelings swirling around my head, I don't even know where to begin to sort them out.

The next two days are spent ignoring calls from the boys and it works until Cameron turns up on my doorstep on Tuesday morning.

"Hi" he says.

"Hey" I reply looking down at the floor.

"Can I come in?" He asks.

I sigh.

"Not if you are going to treat me like a child and like I can't look after myself" I say back.

"Lou, I'm sorry ok. I was just worried, but you are right I should trust you and I'm sorry" he says.

"I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have yelled at you and gotten so angry" I say.

Cameron smiles at me and we share a hug in the doorway. We walk back into the apartment and to the Lounge room where I was camped out watching TV under a blanket, drinking some tea.

"So, how was the party on the weekend?" Cam asks

I sigh and explain everything, I delve into the story of Harry and the boys and how I left without a goodbye.

"I've been avoiding the boy's calls" I tell him.

"I know, they call me too you know" Cam laughs "I told them you were fine though just working heaps" he finishes.

"Thanks Cam" I say smiling.

"You should call them though Lou" he says.

"I know I will.... just later okay" I respond.

Cameron nods at me.

"I don't mean to kick you out, but I've got to go get ready. I have a photo shoot today for H&K, to start the campaign" I tell him.

"Awesome Lou, well have a great day okay, see you later let's go out for a drink tomorrow night?" He asks.

"Yeah, sounds great!" I reply.

He leaves and I go to get ready for my shoot.

When I turn up at the shoot I'm greeted and taken straight to hair and makeup. I'm fussed all over and constantly asked if I need anything and if I'm hungry or thirsty. I politely decline everything. I'm given my first outfit to change into, a black suit and tie with a white undershirt. After I've changed, I'm taken into the studio.

"Alright Louis, I would like you to meet our photographer for our campaign, you will be working really close with him, this is Zach" Laura the head of H&K introduces me.

When I look towards Zach, I Immediately acknowledge how good looking he is. He is tall and muscly with short brown hair. He looks more like a model in my opinion than I do. He has a very warm smile and I relax around him instantly; I feel comfortable.

"Hey there Louis, I've heard a lot of great things about you mate, really looking forward to working with you!" Zach says.

"Likewise, I really hope I don't disappoint" I say smiling as we shake hands.

"I doubt it, if your other photo's I've seen are anything to go by" he smiles.

Zach looks about mid 30's, he is confident and takes control of the shoot Immediately.

"Alright Louis show me what you got" Zach winks when I'm standing in position ready to shoot.

I go for it. I give everything I have to this shoot and campaign hoping I impress. Zach is shamelessly flirting with me the whole time, but he makes me laugh and we have a good banter.

Four hours and nine outfits later, it's time for me to take my shirt off and pose in my underwear. I'm standing in my outfit with my robe around me when I'm asked to drop it. I hesitate, I don't want to look fat. I drop my robe and hand it off to the side. I'm wearing black briefs with a white elastic on the top with H&K written in black the whole way around. At least I'm tanned is all I keep thinking to myself. I do a lot of ab work in the gym, so I have abs, but I really don't think or see how I'm anything special. Zach seems happy though and even winks at me a few times. An hour later and the shoot is finished, and I go to get changed in my black skinny jeans and my grey jumper. As I'm packing up to leave Zach approaches me.

"Louis, that was fantastic mate, we got some amazing shots. You are very very talented; the camera loves you. I could shoot you for hours" he says to me.

I can't help but blush and look down as I place my wallet and phone in my back pocket.

"Um thanks" I say shyly.

"It's true Louis, I don't think you took a bad photo" he says.

"Well, that's because you're such a great photographer, nothing to do with me" I smile.

"Oh, so he's gorgeous and modest, my type of guy" Zach flirts with a wink.

I can't help but smile at him. It's nice to be complemented, especially by such an amazing industry photographer.

"Listen Lou, there is a bunch of us going out to club Snitch tonight, would you like to come? Celebrate an amazing shoot?" Zach asks me.

I hesitate, I haven't really been asked out by another guy before, besides Harry. Zach seems really nice though and I need to make a good impression.

"Sure um, I would love too" I say.

"Great, how bout I pick you up from yours at 8?" He says.

Shit, then he will know where I live, and I don't know if I'm comfortable with that. Also, that means I won't be driving. I don't want to seem like a looser though and I need this campaign to go well, and I need Zach to tell everyone how good I am to work with, so I reluctantly agree. We exchange numbers and I give him my address. We part ways and I can't help but be nervous the entire way home.

When I get home it's 5:30pm I decide I will skip dinner so as I look better in my outfit tonight. When I'm trying to decide what to wear my phone starts ringing, an unknown number flashes across the screen. Thinking it could be my agent or a client I answer.

"Hello?" I say.

"Lou?" Harry's deep voice asks.

"Ha-Harry?" I ask surprised.

"Yeah, Lou it's me, I got your number from Drew" he says.

"Of course, you did" I whisper out.

"Lou, I just please, can we talk. I woke up Sunday morning and you were gone, and I just want to talk please" Harry asks.

I sigh. It would probably be best to get the torture over and done with, so we can both move on.

"Okay" I say.

"Okay?" He asks surprised.

"Yeah, I'll talk to you Harry. I'll let you say whatever you feel you need to okay, just...not tonight I'm going out" I tell him.

"Out? Like on, like on a date?" He asks and his tone sounds panicked.

"Well, um I dunno, not really, just to a club with some people really" I say.

It's not like I should be feeling guilty, but I do. Harry left me though and I'm allowed to go out and have fun.

"Look Harry tomorrow, I will talk to you tomorrow, just message me a time and place and I'll be there" I say.

"Okay that would be great Lou, I'll message you and thank you" Harry says sincerely.

"Okay... bye Harry" I say quietly.

"Bye Lou" he replies, and we hang up.

Part of me really wants to hear what Harry has to say but the other part of me just doesn't want to be disappointed and I don't want to open old wounds. If I didn't agree though, Harry would keep hounding me and if I ever want to be able to move on properly, I guess I need proper closure.

I try and push my conversation with Harry aside and concentrate on my night ahead. I decide to wear a pair of Black skinnies and a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to my elbows with my black and white Vans. I'm just finishing my messy fringed hair in the bathroom when I hear a knock at the door.

When I answer the door, I'm met with a very good-looking Zach in tight blue jeans and an olive-green button up. He smiles at me when he sees me.

"You look amazing Louis" he says.

"Thanks, you too" I say shyly. He just smiles at me.

"Should we go? " He asks me.

"Yeah, I'll just grab my wallet" I say as I reach inside and put my wallet and phone in my back pocket.

I close the door behind us and lock it, I slip the key in my back pocket, and we begin walking down the hallway. Zach puts his arm around my waist. I flinch at first then relax into him. When we are nearing the lifts, the doors open letting two people off and I make eye contact with one of them, it's fucking Harry. He is in his hospital scrubs and must have just finished work.

"Lou?" Harry asks and I see him look at Zach's arm around my waist and back to Zach. He gives him the biggest death glare around.

"Harry? What are you doing here? How did you know where I lived" I ask.

"Um I didn't, I um I live here too... on this floor. I didn't know you lived here too" he says back.

He keeps looking at Zach's hand around my waist and he looks livid.

"Yeah, I'm number 28" I say quietly.

"I'm in 30" he says.

"I'm Zach by the way, nice to meet you" Zach says reaching out to shake Harry's hand.

"Harry" Harry replies coldly, he looks disgusted to have to shake Zach's hand.

"Well, we better get going we're running late" Zach says glaring back at Harry.

"Um sure, be um, be careful Lou" Harry whispers to me so only I can hear, his eyes are pleading with me.

I just smile and Zach and I walk into the lift. As the doors close, I watch Harry's face and he looks ready to murder someone.

"Wow he seems like, and arrogant asshole" Zach says.

"Um, he's okay" I reply.

Zach smiles at me and pulls my closer to his side tightening his grip on me.

"We are going to have an awesome night Lou" he says into my ear.

I smile but inside I feel uneasy. I'm not sure I agree and I'm a little bit nervous to be going to the club with Zach.