Louis POV

When all the party guests leave, Lacey and I play tea parties in her room, and I read her a few stories. When Sammy comes in to take her for a bath and get ready for dinner and bed, she doesn't let me go.

"No mummy, I want to stay with Unca Lou!!!" She yells.

"I know Lace, let's go have a bath and then you can come back and play I promise" Sammy tells her.

"Don't leave Unca Lou!" Lacey turns to me and says.

"I tell you what, you go and have a bath and I will go and have a shower and then when we are both in our pyjamas, we can play some more before bed okay" I tell her.

"Okay, I wuv you" she says hugging me, she then turns and waddles off with Sammy to have a bath.

I walk out of her bedroom and up the stairs to where the guest rooms are. Harry is staying in the room across from me. I'm going to leave after dinner, and I won't tell Lacey or the boys. I can't stay here; I need to be as far from Harry as possible! It hurts too much.

I go straight and have a shower, so may emotions swirling around in my head. I miss Harry so much but I'm so angry at the boys and at him, I just don't understand why they did what they did. I take a while in the shower, I don't want to face everyone again I just want to go home, but I can't do that to Lacey, I have to wait until she is asleep and then I will leave. I get out of the shower and change into my comfy grey sweatpants and a baby blue T-Shirt, at least I'll be comfortable for the long drive home. When I finish my shower, I go to find Lacey. She is in the kitchen with everyone at the dining table and she is sitting on Harry's knee, I can't help but be jealous that she has taken such a liking to Harry.

Dinner is being served, homemade pizzas and everyone is digging in eagerly. I try and sneak out of the kitchen, maybe I can sneak to my car and go before anyone notices me. Lacey looks content with Harry, and I don't want to interrupt them. The way he smiles at her melts my heart and I don't want to see that; my heart can't handle it. Before I leave though, Edward spots me.

"Come eat Lou" he says, and I know he has said it on purpose, so I can't leave.

Lacey and Harry both turn around at the sound of my name.

"Unca Lou come sit next to me" Lacey says.

I smile at her and sit down at the table in the seat next to her and Harry. Scott puts two pieces of pizza on a plate in front of me. I really don't want to eat this. I'm sat staring at my plate and I miss the looks the boys give each other.

"You not like pizza Unca Lou?" Lacey asks me.

I pull my thoughts together and turn to smile at her. I didn't realise I was staring for so long at the disgusting meal in front of me.

"I love pizza Lace, one of my favourites" I say picking up one of the pieces and slowly taking a bite.

Lacey smiles at me and turns back to her plate. She leans back into Harry who snuggles her close. Of course, Lacey would like Harry, why wouldn't she love the most perfect human being in the world. I sigh and keep my eyes on my plate. I can feel everyone's eyes on me and I fucking just can't wait to get out of here. I finish one piece of pizza and get up to leave the table.

"Where are you going Lou?" Andy asks trying to sound casual.

I put my plate in the sink and turn around glaring at him.

"Are you serious right now?" I ask completely dumbstruck.

Sammy takes Lacey from Harry sensing a confrontation and goes to sit in the lounge room with her, Amy and Chloe follow suit giving us some privacy.

"You know the rules Kid" Edward says to me.

"I haven't thrown up my food in three and a half years and you're serious right now?" I ask heatedly.

"I'm sorry Lou, but we aren't convinced that you won't go and do it" Scott says matter of fact/

"So, you don't trust me? You believe those stupid gossip magazines over your own brother? I'm not 17 anymore, you aren't my legal guardians anymore" I say upset.

"My house, my rules Louis" Scott says heatedly.

"And no, it's not just the magazines Louis we have all noticed other signs okay, can you please just sit back down with us?" Andy asks.

"You are un fucking believable" I say.

I push myself up off the sink and walk towards the door to go to the lounge room.

"Louis William Tomlinson, if you walk out that door, I will pick up that phone and call Kimberly right now" Scott says in his stern dad voice that I haven't heard in years.

I stop in my tracks. Fuck, if he calls Kimberly my sessions will be upped, and I will have to do damage control which is so exhausting. I can't believe he is using her against me. I turn around and glare at him.

"Just calm down and come and sit with us Louis, if there is nothing for us to worry about then come and show us, sit down for another 10 minutes please" Drew asks me slightly begging.

"Whatever" I say crossly.

I go and take the seat next to Harry and sit down. The boys get to cleaning up dinner while I sit like a good little boy in my chair. I feel so stupid. Don't they realise I live on my own, that as soon as I get home if I wanted to throw up my food I could, and they couldn't do anything. I'm brought out of my thoughts by Harry's voice. It still gives me goosebumps.

"They are just worried Lou" Harry tells me.

"Just like you huh Harry?" I ask sarcastically.

"Louis, you mean so much to me, of course I'm worried" he replies.

"Yeah, well trust me, there is nothing worth worrying about and I'll be gone in the morning, and you won't have to worry anymore, don't have to spare me another thought" I say quietly looking at my lap, playing with the thread of my sweatpants.

"Is that what you think I want Lou?" Harry's asks me incredulously.

I look up and meet his eyes. The warmth I used to see is still there, I can see and sense the sincerity in his words, but I just can't believe them. He left me for a reason why would that reason have changed. He doesn't love me or want me. It's never going to change; I need to just fucking accept it.

"Well, I know you don't want me" I whisper out.

Before Harry can say anything, Edward is talking to me.

"Times up Louis" Edward tells me.

"Well, I'm just going to the bathroom then" I say. and the boys stop everything and stare at me.

"Louis!" Scott warns.

"What?" I ask sassily rolling my eyes. "You guys are ridiculous I was just bloody joking; I'm going to find Lacey" I snark out.

I walk out of the kitchen, and I stay behind the wall and listen to see if they discuss me and like always, I'm not disappointed.

"Well, he sat down the entire time, wasn't fidgeting and didn't seem nervous" Drew says.

"Yeah, but what about when Kimberly was mentioned?" Andy says.

"And he looked at the pizza like he wanted to murder it" Edward says.

"Guys, I don't think he is throwing up his food. Restricting maybe but he isn't throwing up" Harry says to everyone which surprises me.

"Have you not seen how thin he is?" Edward asks.

"Louis has always been thin" Harry says.

"I don't know, we aren't around to keep an eye on him anymore. We have to trust that he can look after himself. Keep him close and keep looking for signs of relapse" Andy says.

Ugh I can't hear anymore. I push myself off the wall and walk into the Lounge room. I find Lacey watching a show on the TV by herself. I lie down on my back on the couch opposite Lacey. When she sees me, she gets up and comes over to me, she crawls up and snuggles into me on top of my chest her head in my neck. She starts sucking her thumb and starts nodding off. I stroke my fingers through her hair as her breathing starts to even out.

"I lub you Unca Lou" she says.

Tears prick my eyes. I'm leaving as soon as she falls asleep, and I don't have the heart to tell her, she will be devastated when she finds out I've left, I know the look she will have on her face, and it breaks my heart. I can't stay though; I feel suffocated and like I can't breathe. I feel judged and scrutinised, and I feel like I'm going to explode. I close my eyes to try and relax and I feel myself slipping into sleep. I try to keep myself awake but as Lacey's breaths even out the more content I feel and before I can stop myself, I'm fast sleep.

Harry's POV.

I walk into the Lounge room to find Louis and see if I can talk to him alone. What I find when I walk in though captures my heart. Lacey is curled up on Louis chest and they are both asleep. I can't get over how much I actually adore this boy in front of me. I was so stupid, to think that I was actually happy with David was just pathetic. Louis is the love of my life; he is who I belong with, and I will stop at nothing to get him back. I don't know if Louis has been with anyone else in the last four years. I would be insanely jealous if anyone else has touched him. I know that's hypocritical of me, but I can't help it. David was my way of trying to move on without Louis. He was comfortable and I cared about him, and I truly thought I loved him but, I wasn't in love with him, and I know it's absolutely true now after seeing Louis again. I sit on the coffee table in front of the couch, and I must look quite creepy just staring at Louis. I reach out and brush his fringe out of his eyes. Edward, Andy, Scott, and Drew walk into the room.

"Looking a little creepy their H" Andy tells me smiling fondly at me.

"I know, I can't help it" I say back.

"Well, I better get this young lady into bed" Scott says.

He goes to take Lacey from Louis, but she latches on. Finally, Scott manages to get her free and he carries her upstairs.

The rest of the boys look towards me as if expecting me to carry Louis up to bed.

"Go on H we know you want to" Edward smiles.

I look back at a sleepy Louis. I do, I really really do want to pick him up, but I'm torn. He doesn't want me near him.

"It's okay Harry" Andy tells me. I look into his eyes for a few seconds just to make sure.

I sigh and turn back around to Louis. I put one hand under Louis knees and the other under his shoulders and I bring him into my arms. He is so light and tiny and fits against me so perfectly. He snuggles his head in my neck and I melt, he smells amazing, and I never want to let him go, my arms belong around him.

I walk with him up to the spare room slower than normal so I can cherish this moment for a little longer and I tuck him into bed tightly. He seems to shiver when I put him down. As much as I want to curl up with him in bed, I know I can't and I have to tear myself away from him, but not before I leave a gentle kiss on his forehead.

I head back to my room alone and I strip down for bed. I hop under the covers, but I can't sleep, I can't switch off. Seeing Louis again just set so many emotions off, so many emotions that I thought I had pushed away. I have never stopped loving Louis and I never wanted to move on, but for the sake of both of us I tried. I thought Louis would do the same. I try not to think too much about the past. My future is what I need to focus on, I've got the job of my dreams and I want Louis by my side for the rest of my life. I decide here and now that I will stop at nothing to get him back and to show him how sorry I am and that I will always keep him and his heart safe.

I don't remember falling asleep, but I'm woken to yelling, I Immediately know it's Louis. I'm out of my bed before I can fully comprehend what I'm doing and I'm racing down the hall towards his room. I rush in and I'm met with Scott and Drew crowded around Louis. He is sitting up gasping for air. He must have had a nightmare. He is awake, but not with it and he is having a panic attack.

"Try and calm down bud" Scott is telling him.

"It was a bad dream Louis, you are safe" Drew says.

Louis isn't responding though, and it may be crossing the line and Louis may hate me right now, but I need to help him. Scott and Drew are looking at me helplessly.

"It's ok I've got him" I say to them both.

I move over to the queen size bed and hesitantly get in behind a gasping Louis.

"It's ok Lou, I'm here you're safe" I tell him.

I pull him back against my chest and put my arms around him.

"Just relax, I've got you" I say.

Scott and Drew leave the room, giving us some space. Louis is still struggling to come down from his attack and his breaths are still raged.

"Lou, baby Shhhhh Just breathe baby" I tell him. The pet name falling from my mouth shamelessly.

Louis begins to relax against me, and I tighten my arms around him. His breathing soon evens out completely, and he passes out from exhaustion. As selfish as it is, I'm so happy I was able to calm Louis down, that he responded to me and only me. I know he still loves me deep down, I know it even if he won't admit it, this just proves he and I are still connected. I don't want to let Louis go, so I don't. I fall asleep with him in my arms for the first time in four years and I know I will never be able to fall asleep happily ever again unless Louis is falling asleep in my arms as well.