Louis POV

"Louis, answer my god dam call"

I sigh, another text message from Drew. I'm still avoiding all calls from the boys and now they have resulted to messaging. I'm still ignoring them.

"Louis, Kimberly called and said you missed your appointment, call me NOW" Scott messages next.

I really feel like I want to change my number, that's the tenth message from the boys in the last 30 minutes.

I'm lying on my bed trying to sleep off my latest comedown. It's been a week since Andy called me telling me to get home. I haven't spoken to Cameron either, I'm avoiding everyone but Zach and Harry. I've been partying and getting high every night with Zach, but I've managed to hide it pretty well from the media and Harry. I've only been papped once more leaving the club and I was alone, so it didn't make big news. I'm still not really eating either, but again it's not an issue, it's keeping me employed.

Partying every night is actually starting to take its toll on me though and it's getting hard to distinguish what's a comedown and what's withdrawals and what's a problem because I'm not eating. Regardless though, all I know is that I'm having fun and I feel so amazing when I get a hit. Zach is starting to become a little aggressive and controlling with me though and I don't really understand why. I've made it perfectly clear that I don't want anything serious with him and he seemed fine with that. We have snogged a few times but that's really all.

There is a knock at my door that breaks my thinking, but I try to ignore it, my head is pounding. Whoever it is doesn't let up though so I reluctantly get up off the bed and head to the door. I open it and find Harry on his phone in his work scrubs looking hot as fuck.

"Yeah Scott, he answered the door, he is okay" Harry says, Looking at me with concern.

I roll my eyes and walk back into the flat, leaving the door open for Harry to follow in. I flop down on the couch and turn the TV on.

"Scott wants to speak to you" Harry says as he hands me over the phone.

I grab the phone angrily.

"What do you want Scott?" I say angrily.

"Louis, for fuck sakes kid I have been worried sick, you won't answer any of our calls or respond to any messages. What the fuck is going on" Scott yells.

"Maybe I'm sick and tired of being yelled at for living my life" I yell back.

Harry makes his way to the couch awkwardly and sits down.

"Louis, why did I get a call from Kimberly telling me you didn't show up to your appointment?" Scott asks, calming his tone.

"Probably because I didn't go" I say back sassily.

"And why not Louis, this is getting out of control, you are getting out of control Louis" Scott yells.

"I am not Scott, I don't need Kimberly anymore, I'm completely fine" I spit back.

I'm so sick of having these conversations, it just goes back and forth and all they do is yell at me, they never listen. Scott continues to yell through the phone, but I get sick of it and just hang up on him.

I missed Kimberley's appointment because I really don't need to go anymore and it's no doubt the boys have been in her ear about what's going on with their irrational concerns. I don't feel like delving into that, I don't have the energy and I just don't care anymore. I look towards Harry, and he is eyeing me warily.

"Don't even think of starting Haz" I tell him.

He lifts his hands up in surrender.

"I'm not saying anything Lou, don't shoot the messenger" he says.

"Sorry" I say, as I look down at my pants and play with the string on the front.

"Do you want to talk about anything?" Harry asks.

"No.....yeah.... I dunno I'm just. I feel like all they want to do is control me, they don't listen to anything I have to say it's just, do this! do that! and they won't even listen to my side of things. They are making me feel trapped and I hate it" I finish, looking up at Harry.

"Have you spoken to them about this Lou?" He asks concerned.

"No, I've been avoiding them because all they do is yell at me, I never get a single word in" I say frustratingly.

"Well maybe I can try and talk to them" Harry says.

"Thanks, Haz, but I don't want you to have to fight my battles" I say.

Harry just nods but he holds my eye contact for a few minutes.

"Can I ask about Kimberly? About why you didn't go? Scott said it's the first appointment in four years that you have missed" Harry says warmly.

"Yeah......I don't think I need to go anymore" I say looking away from Harry.

"Are your nightmares still happening Lou? I've noticed you haven't been home at all this week; you've been out clubbing with Zach" Harry says hesitantly.

"My nightmares have been okay and just because I've been going out, doesn't mean it's a reason to see Kimberly." I say.

"I understand Lou, I do, but it's not really helping your case avoiding everything" Harry says.

I look down and don't answer.

"When was the last time you ate?" Harry asks tentatively.

And I'm done.

I get up off the couch and walk into my room, Harry follows but I don't care. I walk into my wardrobe and put a pair of my skinny jeans on and a blue jumper. I grab my vans and slip them on. I need to leave; I don't want to have this argument right now. I walk out of the wardrobe and go to walk past Harry, but he grabs me by the arm gently.

"Please don't walk away from me Louis, I'm begging you" Harry says.

I look at him in the eyes and I can tell he is desperate for me to let him in, I want to, but I'm scared to let him. I'm scared of being thrown away. I break our eye contact and rip my arm out of Harry's grip. I turn around and walk about three steps but as I do, I'm hit with a bad dizzy spell and see black spots in my vision. The room is spinning, and I feel like I'm going to pass out, I can see the floor getting closer as I begin to fall.

"Shit" I hear Harry exclaim; I'm caught in his arms before I hit the floor.

"Louis?" Harry asks.

He lays me down on the floor, I can hear him but I'm still dizzy.

"Louis, can you hear me? Open your eyes baby" Harry says.

I groan and open my eyes; Harry is on his knees leaning over me. He is in doctor mode and checking my pulse. I try to sit up and as I do I get lightheaded again.

"Lou, just take it easy okay, I'm assuming your blood pressure is really low" Harry says trying to stop me from sitting up.

"I guess that answers my question about when you last ate" Harry adds. I sigh.

I eventually sit up slowly and then Harry helps me stand.

"I'm making you something to eat okay, no arguments" he tells me.

I sigh, I guess I do need to put something else in my system to last me a few days.

"Okay" I say weakly.

Harry leads me to the kitchen and places me in a chair at the dining table. He starts rummaging through my cupboards and fridge and of course finds nothing.

"I guess we will go to my place to eat then" he says smiling.

"Don't you have to work or something?" I ask sassily.

"Yes, but not for another hour, so let's get going before I decide to bring you into work with me to monitor you" Harry smirks.

I roll my eyes at him and follow him to his apartment.

After I've had something to eat, I start to feel a bit better, Harry cooked me scrambled eggs again. He didn't even need to ask me, knowing that I don't have a problem with eating them. I smile slightly at the fact that he takes notice of these things.

I still feel really weak, and I'm really shaky even though I'm sitting down, I try to hide it from Harry, he doesn't need to worry.

"You're looking pale Louis; I should take you into work with me" Harry tells me seriously.

"Please no Haz I'm fine, I've eaten now, and I just need to sleep okay" I say back pleading with him.

He looks at me for a minute before he sighs.

"Okay, alright" he agrees. I smile at him slightly.

"Thank you......and could we maybe keep this between you and me?" I nearly whisper out.

"Louis" he warns.

"Please Haz, I'm fine I promise. I'm not, not eating on purpose, I've been really busy, and I just haven't gone grocery shopping" I say.

He can tell I'm lying but doesn't say anything.

"Okay but if it happens again, Scott is the first person I'm calling Louis" he says sternly.

I nod my head at him.

"I've got to get to work, I can stay if you need me too" Harry says.

"No Haz, I'm fine I promise" I smile at him.

We both get ready to leave the apartment, Harry walks me to my door and when we say our goodbyes Harry places a kiss to my cheek. I blush like crazy.

"Thought we were taking things slow, just friends" I smirk at him.

"I just had too, I'm sorry" Harry smiles.

"Go save some lives Haz" I say shoving him lightly.

Harry grins his goofy grin at me and walks down the hallway. My cheek is still burning from his kiss and my body still feels like it's on fire. I definitely still have feelings for Harry and it's so confusing.

I walk back in my apartment and straight to my bed, I curl up under the blankets and I fall asleep again. I'm woken three hours later by Zach calling my phone.

"Louis, babe, club tonight in an hour" he says happily into the receiver.

I don't know how they can do this every night, apart from the fact they are twice my age they don't even seem effected by the drugs. I feel like my body is falling apart, like I'm pushing it to its limits. I don't think I want to go out tonight.

"Hey Zach, I'm not feeling the best so I might skip tonight" I say tiredly.

"Louis I've got something new for you to try, you have to come out, you don't want to disappoint us Louis" Zach says and he sounds a little angry and kind of like he is threatening me.

"Okay yeah I'll be there in an hour" I say.

We hang up and I sigh, I don't know how long my body will be able to handle this for.

I turn up to the club in my black skinny jeans and a dark grey T-shirt, with a dark great button up shirt over the top that I've left open. I skip the line like always and walk straight in. I find the guys in the usual place; they greet me with smiles and we all head to the back room. This time there is no white powder but five syringes lying on the table. There is no way I'm going there.

"What is that" I ask uneasily.

"Just trust us Lou" Nathan says.

"I mean... yeah I trust you, but I'm not shooting up... There is no way I'm doing that" I say.

I begin to back out of the room when I'm grabbed around the waist by Zach.

"Louis, you said you could handle it babe, don't let me down...... You know, I'm very influential in this industry Louis and I would hate to see the H&K campaign go back to the drawing board because it's top model pulled out" Zach says wickedly.

I gasp.

"Wha?" I say looking back at him.

"That's right Louis, I need you and you need me in this industry. Everything comes at a price babe" he says.

"You're blackmailing me? Why do you even care if I take drugs or not, why does it matter to you?" I ask baffled.

I don't understand why he is doing this.

"Because Louis, you are relying on me to get your fix and I need you to expand my career, like I said tit for tat"

"That's stupid, I'll give you what you want, I will hang out with you I'll do other drugs, but I'm not doing that" I say waving my hand towards the table.

Zach lets me go and walks towards the table.

"Boys, I don't think Louis understands what I'm saying" Zach says to the others.

Suddenly I'm grabbed by Noah and held around the chest. Nathan grabs my arm me holds it out, I'm completely stuck I can't move. I start to panic.

"Get off, seriously get the fuck off me" I yell.

They just laugh. I try my hardest to get out of their grip, but they are holding me so tight.

My eyes go wide and as Aiden grabs one of the syringes and brings it closer to my arm.

"Let me go Zach fuck" I yell.

Suddenly I'm let go and they all break out into laughter.

"Louis we were just joking babe" Noah says.

"You should see your face" Aiden says, laughing.

"What the fuck! That wasn't funny" I yell.

"No Louis, it really was" Zach says smirking.

I just glare at him. He comes closer to me and grabs me by the waist.

"Come on babe let's get your usual hit if you don't want the hard stuff" he says with a wink.

I relax a little, but I'm still a bit tense. That was really scary, my heart is still beating quite fast as I try to calm myself down.

"I meant what I said though Louis, don't fuck with me" Zach whispers into my ear so only I can hear.

"Come on Lou, relax babe" Nathan says.

Zach pulls me over towards the tables and sets me up a hit. I stand and watch as they all shoot up whatever the fuck that stuff is. My body is really not going to respond well to this hit I just know it, especially after nearly passing out from lack of food. I sit down and I hesitate to snort the cocaine. Suddenly Zach forces my head towards the table hard.

"Take the fucking hit Louis, don't waste my drugs" he spits, his grip on the back of my neck is painful.

I snort the powder quickly and it's really strong, my mouth is forced open, and two pills are put inside. I instantly feel the effects and it's not the same as the last few times I've had something, I just don't feel right.

"Good boy, it's best when you listen to me Louis, you will learn that a lot more" Zach says evilly.

I don't like him right now and I really don't know if it's the drugs or what, but he is being such a dick and I'm a little scared of him and what he might do.

"Zach, I feel really fucked up, that wasn't a normal hit" I say shakily.

"Nah, it was laced with shit, can't tell you what though, you'll be right don't worry" Zach says.

I can feel my heart in my chest and I'm panicking, I need to get out of here. I'm starting to sweat, and I feel really paranoid.

Zach and the guy's head out to the main club, I trail behind them and when they are preoccupied with some girls I decide to sneak out of the club. I need to leave now before I get too fucked up, that I can't think properly and do something stupid, like take more drugs from Zach. I quickly find a cab without being papped, it's too early for them to be out. I manage to get to my apartment and up to my floor safely. I feel like I'm being watched and I'm on edge, instead of going to my place though, I find myself knocking on Harry's door. My breathing is heavy, and I feel like I can't breathe, like I'm not getting enough air.

Harry answers the door in his pyjamas, and he instantly knows something is wrong.

"Lou, fuck come inside are you okay what's happened?" He panics.

He ushers me inside and I see Cameron sitting on the couch, just what I need.

"Ummm I think....my drink was spiked I think, at the club" I lie.

I can't let them know what I took I will never hear the end of it, especially from Cameron.

"What?" Harry asks concerned.

"I dunno, but I feel really weird and like I can't breathe and....make it stop Harry please" I panic.

"It's okay Louis just relax" Harry says, calming me down by placing his hands on my shoulders.

"I can't and Cameron hates me he is going to hurt me, he doesn't like me" I say looking at Cameron.

I know what I'm saying is wrong, somehow, I know it's not true, but it's like my mind is taking over and I'm certain Cameron hates me.

"Lou, I'm not going to hurt you bud, just calm down" Cameron says. He looks at Harry concerned.

"Cam, can you go get some ice water, like really, really cold water and come into the bathroom" Harry says.

Cameron nods and Harry walks me to the bathroom and sits me on the toilet seat.

"I'll be right back Louis okay" he tells me, and I nod.

I feel so dizzy and tired and I'm freaking out. Harry walks back into the room with sweats and a T-shirt, Cameron is following him with a glass of ice-cold water in his hands. They both kneel down in front of me. Harry starts undressing me and changes me into his comfy sweats.

"Fuck Harry he is tiny; this is not okay" Cameron says worriedly to Harry like I'm not even in the room. I'm too fucked to care what's being said though.

"I know Cam, but this isn't the time for that. Right now, I need your help okay, we will deal with that later" Harry says sternly.

"Yeah, yeah sorry.... tell me what to do" Cameron says.

"Get me a wet washer as cold as you can get it" Harry instructs.

Cameron goes to the sink to get the washer and Harry reaches for my arm and starts taking my pulse.

"His pulse is through the roof" Harry States more to himself than anyone.

"Okay Louis, I want you to drink all of this water, every single drop okay" Harry instructs.

I nod and take the glass from him; I then start to drink. It's so cold but it seems to help me with my breathing.

"Good job Louis" Cameron tells me when I'm nearly finished.

"I can't drink anymore" I tell them, I feel like I'm going to spew.

"Yes, you can Louis, you can do it for me baby, I need all that water gone" Harry tells me gently.

I whimper but bring the glass to my lips and drink the rest of it. Cameron brings the cold washer back and places it on my neck. Harry walks over to his bathroom cabinet and takes out a small vial and a needle. He comes back over, and he fills the needle with the contents of the vial.

"Is that legal H?" Cameron asks.

"Yes Cameron, I'm a doctor for crying out loud" Harry says smiling slightly.

"Okay Louis, I'm going to give you something to help you okay but it's going to make you go to sleep. I won't leave you though. The cold water is going to help with keeping your blood pressure up for me while this drug works to counteract what's happening to you okay" Harry says.

I just nod as Harry grabs my arm and injects the drug into my shoulder. I feel myself slipping, I welcome the darkness and I begin to feel safe once again as I fall asleep.

Harry's POV

I pick Louis up and lay him in my bed. This has got to stop, this Zach guy is bad news and I'm worried for Louis, really worried. He is never home at night anymore and he is coming home completely fucked up most mornings. He thinks I don't know but I do, I'm trying not to freak out in front of Cameron. I need to talk to Louis myself before taking this to the boys.

"What did you give him H?" Cameron asks me, as I walk out of my bedroom turning out the light.

"Honestly, I just made all that shit up about counteracting or whatever, it's just a plain old prescription sleeping drug. He was becoming paranoid and this way he will sleep it off and wake up okay" I tell Cameron. He smiles slightly at me.

"Do you think his drink was really spiked?" Cameron wonders.

"Well, that's what he said, we should give him the benefit of the doubt and he came to us, so that's a good sign" I say.

"Yeah, you are right" Cam replies.

Eventually Cameron leaves and after much convincing he promises not to call Scott before I speak to Louis. I lay awake again most of the night making sure Louis is okay, I'm glad I don't have work tomorrow. This is getting really out of hand. I need to get Zach away from Louis and I need to get Louis to open up and trust me. When he asked me not to interfere with his life, I really didn't think he was this bad. I understand he wants to party and have fun, but he is doing it with the complete wrong people. He is at such a fragile point in his career at the moment and I feel like he thinks he has to hang round Zach and get his approval to move forward in the industry, It's just not true.

Louis got himself where he is and I'll be dammed if I sit back and watch him throw his reputation away, for some fucking asshole who doesn't give a shit about him. I want Louis back so badly and I know he is coming around to the idea of us being together again! I just know it. I'm not trying to change him or fix him I love Louis so much; I will do anything I can to see him smile and be happy.

As the light peaks through the window and night turns into morning Louis begins to stir next to me on the bed.

"Haz?" He asks sleepily as he sits up in bed.

"How are you feeling?" I ask.

"Okay, I feel okay" he says.

We sit in silence for a few minutes before I can't take it anymore.

"Louis, I'm sorry but I really need you to talk to me and tell me the truth about what's going on" I say lovingly.

He sighs and looks away from me.

"Louis, you walked into my apartment last night clearly fucked up and asked for my help. Please respect me enough to tell me what happened" I say calmly looking into his eyes, he takes a minute before he responds.

"I.....I went to the club and... and Zach gave me some cocaine and I took it" he tells me and looks down ashamed.

"It....... it wasn't like the normal stuff; it was laced with something, and I started to freak out" he finishes.

"Louis" I start but he interrupts me.

"Harry please, I don't need a lecture about how I shouldn't do drugs, the fact is I've tried a few and I've taken some and It obviously doesn't agree with me, and I don't want to keep doing it" he says.

"I'm not here to give you a lecture okay, I'm not. I just want you safe Louis, I need you safe and I can't let this happen anymore. I'm not going to let you ruin your career and everything you have built, do you understand" I say.

I move closer to him on the bed so I'm sitting next to him. I reach out to grab his chin gently and lift his chin up, so he is looking at me in the eyes.

"I'm not going to go on and on about how dangerous this is especially the fact that you are not eating properly, mixed with taking drugs which is just asking for trouble. I just want to help you to stop this and be happy, you are too good for this Louis, and you know it's true" I tell him sincerely.

I can see his blue eyes well with unshed tears as he looks at me so innocently.

"I can't stop Harry; I love the way I feel free and confident and like everything that's difficult in my life disappears when I'm high" He says.

"I know Lou, but you know you can feel all those things without going down this path. I'm here, I'm going to help you, let me help you please" I say desperately.

"How Harry... how??" He asks getting upset and frustrated.

Before I'm realising what, I'm doing I cup Louis cheek and press our lips together. Fireworks explode through my body, God I've missed this, I can't believe I lasted so long without this. Louis is everything, he is all mint and tea and home and morning breath that I want to taste forever. I want this feeling forever. Louis returns the kiss eagerly and it's like we can't get enough of each other. Four years' worth of emotions is poured into this one kiss and it's absolutely amazing.

We pull away from each other completely breathless, we just stare at each other, I can't help but smile. Louis looks completely shocked but sated.

"Let me in Louis, let me be with you" I plead.

"Harry, I love you I really, really do, please.... please just give me some more time please. I'm so confused, and I just need some more time, I'm sorry" he says back.

He gets off the bed and he grabs his phone and runs out of my flat. I sigh. Good going Haz.

Louis POV

I run straight back to my place and just break down. That kiss was incredible, and I am still feeling the effects of it. I want Harry in my life so badly, but I just need time to sort stuff out. I'm still a little broken and he doesn't deserve that. I'm brought out of my thoughts by my message tone on my phone. I take it out of my pocket and frown. I have 10 unread messages from Zach and the guys.

"Louis where did you disappear too?"

"Didn't even think to say goodbye Louis?"

"Louis WTF is wrong with you, why did you leave?"

I message back Zach quickly saying I was sick and had to leave. He sounds completely pissed. I really don't like hanging out with him that much anymore, especially after last night. Like he said though, he could break my career and I can't let that happen. He replies with a 'hope you feel better' message and I tell him I will see him at the shoot we have scheduled In three days. I definitely need a break from him and his friends. As I'm closing my phone a message comes through from Harry.

"I'm so sorry Lou, please don't be upset at me" it says.

"I could never be upset at you Haz, just let me get my head around it all xo" I reply.

I walk further into my flat and forgo a shower and food again. I fall flat on my bed, I'm just exhausted. The campaign for H&K starts in two days and I need to get my shit together for it. I need a break from Zach, and I need to try and eat something. I notice my right-hand side of my back has a dull ache and I'm not sure what it's from. My body is sending me such confusing messages and it's hard to sort it all out. All I know is I'm tired and I need to sleep and wake up prepared for this campaign. Everything else I can deal with later.