Jungkook's POV

I looked at Tae's tied hands. I held his hips tighter and started thrusting faster.

Mina

I looked at Tae and imagined him as Mina. I thrusted harder and soon came inside him.

I laid beside him while letting out heavy breaths. He was crying silently. I sighed and untied his hands.

"I'm sorry", I said.

He looked away from me. I stared at his back for awhile. I moved closer to him and wrapped my arm around his slender waist.

He removed my arm and got out of bed. He grabbed a blanket and walked out. I sighed and laid on my back. I stared up at the ceiling blankly.

"I fucked up", I said.

Tae is special to me. He's the one who mostly comforts me and stays by my side the most. But ever since I had these fucking feelings for Mina, everything just got all messed up.

Tae now hates me. Of course he'll hate me. I freaking forced sex on him for the past few weeks.

I sat up and rubbed my head. I let out a deep sigh and got out of bed. I put a pair of boxers on and walked out the room.

Tae was sleeping on the sofa, wrapped up like a burrito with the blanket. I smiled softly and picked him up bridle style. I carried him to our bedroom and set him on the bed carefully.

I stared at his sleeping face for awhile. I set my hand on his cheek lightly.

"I'm sorry Tae", I said lowly.

My feelings for Mina are starting to go away, but not a lot. I still think of her and imagine her as mine. My heart started getting this heavy feeling.

I took my hand away and walked out the room. I want to stop these feelings, but I don't know how. I'm using Tae as an object to help me forget, but that's fucked up.

I want to stop this, but I can't. And I'm really sorry for Tae that I'm putting him through so much pain.

He used to say 'it's okay' all the time, but now he's gone silent. I don't like it when he's silent. I want to stop...no, I need to stop. All this fucked up shit is going to break our friendship, and I can't let that happen.

I still remember the time when I first forced sex on him. I put it in him dry, he was screaming loudly from the pain, but I didn't stop. There was blood coming out of his hole.

I buried my face into my hands. The guilt started rushing into me.

Tae couldn't walk for weeks. Even the painkillers didn't even work. I almost had to take him to the hospital.

I'm just...such a horrible person. Taking his virginity in a way like that? I can't believe he's experienced it like that...

But I just can't stop. I can't stop for some reasons. I want to, but I can't. Hurting Tae like this hurts me, but thinking about Mina makes me like this. And it's hard to not think about her.