Chapter 3- Words Like Knives

        My mom lives in a comfortable size apartment on the south side of town. In all relativity it’s about as far away from my dad as she can possibly get while still remaining in the same town as him. 

        When my parents split up two years ago my mom wanted nothing more than to skip town and find a place where she would never have to risk running into my dad and Beth in the supermarket. It wasn’t that she hated Beth or anything, but she did suspect my Dad was seeing her while they were still married because right after my mom asked for the divorce my dad moved Beth in two months later and she’s been living there ever since. She has no proof of course, but she still can’t stand to be around them nonetheless.

        I suppose I have quite a bit of respect for my mom for not uprooting our lives and tearing what is left of our family apart. She’s bearing through it for Connor and me. My mom, I love her.

         On Wednesday evening Connor and I are sitting in my room at Lander Hills Apartment Complex discussing his freshman year schedule when mom comes in carrying two plates of hotdog macaroni and cheese and sits them on my bed.

        Another awesome thing about my mom, she lets Connor and I eat in our rooms whenever we want. She doesn’t keep any of the same rules my dad does.

        My eyes light up at the plate full of food sitting before me. My stomach growls loud enough for both Connor and Mom to hear and they both laugh.

        “This looks great, Mom,” I tell her before shoveling a fork full into my mouth. I moan at the cheesy goodness.

        “What’s the occasion?” Connor asks digging into his food too.

        She shrugs and grins. “I have no idea what you mean.”

        I raise my eyebrow at her and eat another bite. “Nice try,” I say with a mouth full of food. I chew and swallow. “The only time you make our childhood favorite meal is when you have something big to tell us. So, spill.”

        She looks between Connor and I, and then grins even wider.

        “Come on, Mom. You’re killing us here,” Connor says. “Is this something a good something or a bad something?”

       I am already a third of the way finished with my food when she starts getting fidgety and nervous. She spins on her heal and picks up the horse figurine on my dresser I’ve had since Fourth grade. She strokes its main and sits it back down again. Then she finds something else there and picks it up too.

         When she speaks again she is facing us. “Okay. Just know that even though I’m doing this, I don’t love you guys any less.”

        I lean toward Connor and whisper in his ear, “We should probably be worried.”

        He nods his head in agreement. “Definitely. We should probably pack.”

      I look my mom straight in the eyes with mine slightly narrowed. “You’re moving, aren’t you? You’ve changed your mind about staying here and you want to leave.”

        I am feeling a little anxious until she starts shaking her head and waving her hands in the air in denial. “Oh, no, it’s nothing like that. I have a date Friday night.”

        Both Connor and I share the same surprised look as we stare at our mom. I don’t know what to say and when neither of us say anything she starts to get a worried look on her face.

      “Wow. Mom, that’s great, really.” Connor is the first one to speak. He still sounds just as shocked as I feel.

        It wasn’t like we weren’t happy for her or anything, it just that we were starting to think she was going to live a life of solitude for the rest of her years. She hasn’t dated since the divorce.

        “So, who is the guy?” I manage to ask after Connor nudges me in the arm to say something.

        Mom blushes. It’s something I’ve not seen her do in years. “You know Sandra, right?” We nod. Of course we do. Sandra has been mom’s best friend since before she met my dad. Her and my dad only met in college, but her and Sandra date back to high school. “Well,” she continues. “Her brother Marshall works with this physical trainer at the gym I go to and yesterday after I was finished working out Steven asked me out. Marshal says he’s a good guy and I should give him a chance.”

        I blink a few times and start to smile. “Hold on. You mean he saw you after you were all sweaty and smelly from working out and still wanted a date with you? I say he’s a keeper. At least now he won’t be disappointed when he actually sees you on a normal day. It’s all uphill from here.”

        “This is true,” Connor adds.

        Mom giggles. “You think?”

        I answer for us. “We do.”

        It’s interesting seeing mom like this and I start wonder if this is how she was in college when she met my dad. I could easily see her being an over excited teenager getting ready for a date.

       “I’m so nervous,” she says. “What will I wear? I haven’t been on a date since before I was married.”

          “For starters,” I begin, “I don’t think you should wear anything in your closet. With ever new guy, there should be a new outfit too.” Everything my mom owns is from her pre-divorce era. Boring. Most people go out on a post-divorce shopping spree- my mom never did. At least, that’s what Krista said about her mom. I think it’s long overdue for my mom.  “I think you should buy a whole new wardrobe.”

         “Summer! I don’t plan on going on that many dates.” She looks at me as if I’ve lost my mind.

          I wave my hand.“Irrelevant. You’ve finally entered the dating world again. It’s time for a change. You need a whole new everything.”

     She whips around and looks into my full body mirror on the wall and examines herself. “Everything,” she echoes. She bites her inner cheek and spins around twice. “Maybe.”

        “This conversation seems more like Summer’s thing. I’m going to go the living room and watch some TV and finish my food,” Connor says picking up his plate and standing. I forgot he was in still in the room.

        My mom quickly turns to face us again with a panicked look in her eyes. “Wait! I need one of you to go to the mall with me tomorrow and help me get a ‘new everything’.”

      “Again, that’s more Summer’s thing than mine. I’m sure she’ll be happy to go with you.” He sends an amused look over his shoulder and leaves the room with me and mom completely alone.

       She’s looking at me with desperate eyes and I don’t have the heart to say no to her. She’d be lost without me. “Okay, Mom. I’ll go. But I have just one requirement first.”

        “Okay. What?” She looks excited now.

        “You have to listen to all my suggestions and take them under extreme consideration or else this will all be for nothing.”

        She nods with a big grin on her face. “Okay, deal. I’ll pick up after school tomorrow and we’ll go.”

        At ten o’clock that night dad calls me to check in like he always does. He asks me what nights I’m staying at his house this week and confirms that mom is still going out of town next week for her job. He also tells me my order from Amazon showed up today and he put the box in my room. And then when I finally start to hang up he announces that he knows about Matt and I and Matt’s parents are really disappointed in him.

        “Sometimes, things like this happen, Summer. Don’t worry. He’ll come around. He loves you,” he says in way of encouragement for me not to give up. He’d be crushed if I gave up. If I haven’t mentioned it before, he loves Matt.

        “Yeah,” I say half heartedly. To be honest I don’t know exactly what to believe anymore. Matt is still standing by our break up, but he is also acting like a part-time boyfriend. It’s confusing.

      “Markus and Sheila are coming to dinner on Sunday and they’re bringing Matt. We had it planned since before the break-up. I can’t cancel on them now. They’re still our friends. You think you’ll be okay?”

          I sigh. “Sure.” Not that it really matters. Dad is dad. He’ll always do what he wants in the end.

          “Beth is cooking Salmon.”

         “Yum.” I pull my phone back to check the time on my phone and it reads 10:06 PM. Curfew in less than half an hour. Dad will be letting me go soon to sleep. Thank goodness.

         When I replace the phone to my ear dad is in the middle saying something “…asked about you today. Maybe we should go see them some weekend.”

        “Uh huh.” I have no idea what he is talking about. I just want off the phone.

        “Beth and I were thinking about taking you and Connor for Thanksgiving this year.”

        I yawn. “I’m sorry, where?”

        He lets out a frustrated sigh. “To Beth’s parent’s house. Summer, have you even been listening to anything I’ve said?”

        “Sure I have. I’m just tired,” I lie.

        This seems to simmer him down. “It is getting late. I guess I can let you go to bed.”

        Finally.

        “Okay, daddy. Goodnight,” I yawn again.

        “Goodnight, sweetheart. Tell your mom I called, will you? I left her a couple of messages on her phone but she hasn’t returned them.”

        “I will, Dad. I’ll see you Sunday, okay?”

        “Okay. See you then.”

        At school the next morning Krista is waiting for me at my locker. She has her books clutched to her chest and her eyebrow raised. “Morning, peaches. How did you get here this morning?”

     I open my locker and pull out my English books. “By car. The same why I get here every morning.”

        “Nice try, smartass. I’m being serious. It’s me you’re talking to. You can tell me, you know.”

        I close my locker and stare at her. “What are you going on about?”

        “Come on, Summer. I know.” She looks at me slightly disapproving.

        I’m already tired of playing this game and I sigh. “You know what exactly? Please, share it with me.”

        She rolls her eyes and switches her books to another arm. “You and Matt are back together. You could have told me, you know. I am your best friend.”

        For a moment I don’t know whether to correct her or play along the charade. “I’m sure if that were true you’d know exactly why I wouldn’t tell you. You hate Matt.”

        I watch everyone shuffle to their classes and wonder if I’m going to be late to mine with Krista grilling me and all.

        “I don’t hate Matt,” she says. “I just think you’re too good for him.”

        “Kris, don’t start.”

       “I’m serious. If you took him back you’re not as smart as I thought you were.” She looks annoyed by my nonchalance and groans. “Come on, Summer. Be smart. You can’t be oblivious to what’s going on.”

        When the warning bell rings I try to move around her but she holds her arm out to stop me.

        “Can’t this wait until later? I’m gonna be late.”

        “No.” She stands unmoving.

        Alright, time to ease her mind. “Matt and I are not back together. I swear. He just drove me home the other day, that’s all.”

        And I agreed to go to the party with him, but I’ll keep that one to myself for now.

       She stares at me like she’s trying see into my mind. “I hope that’s true because I know for a fact he was over at Teagan’s house last night. Then I come to school this morning and hear people talking about how you and Matt are getting back together again. He’s such a pig.”

        My throat starts to burn and I swallow. “H-he went to Teagan’s?”

        Oh jeez. Please don’t let me cry right here in the hallway in front of everyone.

       She nods. “He did. She’s been talking about it since she got here this morning. She won’t shut-up.”

        “So let me get this straight. Everyone thinks Matt and I are back together all the while Teagan is telling people he was at her house last night?”

        Again she nods.

       “Great.” I cup the top on my head. “What does that say about me?” I push back the tears burning in the back of my throat and a new emotion starts to push its way in- anger. “What did Matt say? Did he set everyone straight?”

        Krista gives me a sympathetic look. “He’s neither confirming nor denying anything.”

       I flinch. No. He wouldn’t do that to me, would he? Will anyone believe him? When I show up with him at that party Friday the action will speak for itself. Matt won’t have to “not” say anything. I’m such an idiot. “Why is he doing this to me?”

        Krista looks at me like I’m stupid and rolls her eyes. “Come on, Summer. Like you don’t know.”

        I give her an incredulous look. “I assure you, I don’t.”

      “It’s one of the oldest tricks in the book of plays!” she says. “How could you not know? He’s using you.”

        Apparently I’m the only one not getting this. “I don’t get it. How is he using me?”

        She shakes her head. “I can’t believe I’m the one that has to tell you this.”

      “What?” I say impatiently now and a little loudly. When my voice bounces off the cinderblock painted walls and comes back to me. It’s the first time that I take notice of the empty hallways. So I’m late. Great.

        “He’s keeping you close, but not to close,” Krista explains. “He wants to you think there is still a chance for you two so he can stringing you along. When he gets whatever he’s going through out of his system he wants to be sure you’ll be there waiting for him with open arms when he’s ready to come back to you.”

        My heart drops at her words. “What? How can you say that? That’s not true.”

        It’s not. Matt may be letting people think stuff about us, but he wouldn’t really string me along. He wouldn’t play on my emotions like that.

        “It is true, Summer. I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t.” Her voice is soft now and her tone matches her eyes. She feels sorry for me and I don’t like it.

        “The reason he is keeping me close is because he still wants to still be friends. Our families are still friends and he’s just trying to make it as easy for us as possible.”

        Krista looks disgusted now. “Don’t defend him, Summer. Don’t do it. You’re falling right into his plans.”

        I am starting to grow angry with her and I have to squeeze my palms to keep myself in check. “You’re wrong. He wouldn’t do that to me. He loves me. He’s probably just having seconds thoughts.”

        Is this what denial looks like? I feel it even as I’m saying it, and I can’t stop. If I don’t deny it, it’s true.

        “If he really loved you, he’d let you go completely. What he’s doing is cruel. If he feels anything for you at all he’ll stop speaking to you and leave you alone. God knows it’d be the best thing he ever did for you.”

        I can’t take it anymore and I’m starting to grow even angrier. She wants Matt to leave me alone, to never speak to me again. I wasn’t for it a first either, but altogether it’s made the break up a little less painful. Well, until the whole Teagan thing at least. 

        “Shut up!” I say. “You’re only saying these things to hurt me. You’re jealous.”

        Krista huffs and crossed her arms. I’ve obviously offended her. Good. “Jealous of what? Your boyfriend who’s not really your boyfriend? Yeah, I’m so jealous.”

        I feel the words rising to the tip of my tongue and they are pushing their way out of my mouth. They’re angry and want to be heard. I fight it because I know if I say them I will regret it, but when she looks at me in her challenging way I burst and they all come tumbling out of my mouth.

        “You’re jealous because you’ve never even had a real boy friend. No one’s ever wanted you longer than a week because of your control freak personality. They get what they want and they leave you. Why buy the cow when they can get the milk for free?”

        If Krista is hurt she doesn’t show it. She only watches me blankly. Her voice comes out steady when she replies. “At least I know what to expect from guys. You’ll be the one who stupidly hangs on to Matt turning the other cheek to everything he does for the rest of your life because you’ll never wise  to his crap. You’re pathetic and desperate.”

        Ouch. That hurts more than care to admit. Now I do let a few tears escape my eyes and finally Krista and I both realized what we’ve just done and she starts to show some remorse.

        “Oh, God. Summer, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it.” She starts to touch my shoulder, but then at last minute I jerk away from her and shake my head.

        “Oh no, you meant it. You just didn’t mean to say it out loud.”

        I spin on my heel forgetting my first period class and make my way for the bathroom. She doesn’t follow me and I’m okay with that. All I want is to be alone right now and forget Krista’s hurtful words toward me. At least I know what she thinks of me now. At least I know how she feels. Some friend. But then again am I really any better?

          I think I’m just as disappointed in myself as I am in her.

         I stay in the bathroom and cry. Words like knives. I can truly understand that expression now. I cry some more. I cry for my fight with Krista. I cry over Matt staying at Teagan’s last night. And I cry for being exactly what Krista said, pathetic. When I hear the bathroom door open I silence myself until the person in the stall next to me leaves then I pull out my phone and call my mom.

      When she picks up on the second ring and she sounds worried. “Summer, honey, what’s wrong? Why aren’t you in class?”

        “Can you come get me?” I ask her sniffling.

         Now she’s graduated from worried to frantic. “Why? What happened?”

        I shake my head and it occurs to me she can’t see me. “I just need to get away from here for the day. Can you pick me up?”

        She’s silent for a second then she speaks again. “Sure I can. Let me call the school to dismiss you. Can you meet me at the front on the school in ten minutes?”

        “Yeah,” My voice breaks a little. “I can do that.”

        “Good. And just hang in there. I’ll be there soon. I promise.”

        I go the office and sign myself out after giving my mom enough time to call and I go to the front of the school to meet her. She’s in her white Honda CR-V waiting for me. It’s easy to spot since she is the only one waiting. When I inside the confines of her car I let the tears fall again.

        “Oh, honey. What’s wrong?” she rubs my back and pats it soothingly.

       I wait until we are off school grounds to talk. “Krista and I had a fight. We said some pretty harsh things to each other. And Matt…he…he…” I cry harder. I’m being such a baby right now.

        Like the very protective mother she is, she’s looks angry. “What is it?”

        “We broke up, Sunday and today he was already…” I take a deep breath trying to calm my tears, but it doesn’t help. They still fall anyway and my voice comes out weak and shaky. “…he’s already with another girl.”

        “What?” she says in disbelief. “How come I don’t know anything about this breakup?”

        “It’s been a hard subject to talk about. Anyway, Kris being the overly opinionated person she is told me about it and we got into a fight and I stalked off to the bathroom to call you.”

        “Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry.” She reaches out and holds my hand.

        “I think what hurts the most is everything Krista said to me was true.”

        “I see,” she says nodding. “Sometimes the truth hurts. It’s one of life’s painful lessons.”

         I look out the window unblinking. “Yeah, it’s painful alright.”

        Mom drives into downtown and stops by McDonalds to grab us some breakfast. She pulls into an empty parking spot after leaving the drive through hands me a biscuit. I take it from her gratefully and tear into it. I am hungry.

        “Why didn’t we just go in?” I ask her though a mouthful of food.

        She bites into her hash brown and looks at my tear streaked face. “Do you want to go in?”

        I shake my head. “No. I guess not. I just thought you might want to.”

        Mom enjoys eating her breakfast to the smell of fresh, hot coffee. We do go inside normally.

        It is a busy morning and the place is full of people. It isn’t worth fighting the crowd to get a table and finish our breakfast. Mom and I finish eating in silence and then she gets out of the car to throw our trash away. When she gets back in we head further into town.

       “Where are we going?” I ask her watching the passing buildings.

     “Well, I already left work and we have the whole day to ourselves, so I thought we’d get our shopping done early. No sense waiting until this evening to hit the mall. Plus you could really use some cheering up.”

        “Wait, really?” This does start to cheer me up. Missing school to shop, who wouldn’t be happy about that?

        She nods.

        Does it get much better than this?

      “Okay. I can go for it.” I smile and reach for the radio. Sometimes my mom could be really awesome.

        “I just thought it might help take your mind off of stuff. Nothing soothes the soul quite like retail therapy.” She grins at me.

        I turn up the radio volume. “Well, I definitely can’t argue with that statement. Let’s do this.”

      Three hours and ten shopping bags later, Mom and I leave the mall with half of the merchandise. Well, not literally of course. That’s my mom’s way of saying we bought a lot of stuff.  I got two shirts and a pair of jeans and a very cute black dress. Mom got a little of everything. She definitely put a dollar size dent in her credit card for the next six months.

        When we get home just after lunch, Mom pulls all of her clothes out of bags and lays them on her bed. She wastes no time trying to find the perfect outfit for her Friday night date.

        “What do you think of this one?” she asks holding it up a red dress with matching red heels.

        I tilt my head to the side and examine it. “Eh. I don’t know. It seems a little to formal for a first date. Where is he taking you anyway?”

        “I don’t know,” she shrugs. “He didn’t say.”

        I straighten myself up and stretch out on mom’s bed. “Then at least ask him what you should wear. Like if he’s planning on taking you into the woods to kill you, you might want to wear sneakers so you have a chance of a quick getaway.”

        Mom gives me a sarcastic smile. “Funny.”

        “Sorry. Just a little first date humor.”

        The outing with my mom made me feel a world better. The distraction of all the retails stores was a mood lifter in the best way. I only thought about him once, but quickly pushed him into the back of my mind and his memory has yet to resurface.

        Mom stands in front of her mirror and sighs. “I’m way too old for this.”

       “No you’re not. You’re never too old to find your dream guy again. Would you rather be alone and single your whole life?”

        She blows her bangs off her head closes her eyes. “No. I suppose not.”

        “Alright, now when he comes to pick you up, you have to smile and actually act excited for this date or he’ll think you’re no longer interested.”

        She opens her eyes. “I will. I will. Do you think maybe I should do something to my hair too? It does look kind of flat with all these new clothes.”

        “Depends on what hair style you have in mind.”

        “A short bob cut. What do you think?”

        “I don’t know. I guess it could work. Maybes some highlights too- Oh, hold on, I got a text.” I pull my phone out of my back pocket and open the text displayed on my screen. My heart leaps when I see who the sender is. Then I remember what Kris told me this morning about him and Teagan and my heart drops.

        Matt: Hey. Didn’t c u n 1st 2day. U ok?

        I text him back.

        Me: Hey. Yes. Fine. Thanx for taking the time to ask.

        I say the last part in sarcasm, but I doubt he’ll pick up on it.

        Matt: K. Krista asked me 2 check on u. She said u were upset this morn.

      If possible my heart drops even further and I’m left staring at the words on the screen not feeling nearly as peaceful as I was earlier today. So it was Kris that made him text me. It wasn’t him at all. I suppose I should have known.

        Me: Oh. Well tell HER im fine. Gotta go. C U 2morrow.

        Matt doesn’t text me back anymore and the longer I sit and think about Matt’s words the more annoyed I become. I go into my texts again and find Krista’s number.

        Me: Why did u tell Matt 2 check up on me? Why didn’t u text me urself?

        I wait for her reply. When I look back up at my mom she’s staring at me intently.

        “What’s wrong?” she asks. “You look upset.”

        “That’s because I am upset- Oh hold on again.” I look down at my phone.

        Kris: I thought u might still b mad. Figured u would reply to Matt b4 me.

      I am surprised. She must really be worried about me if she asked Matt for anything. I am touched and still upset all at the same time. She still hasn’t apologized for earlier. But then again, I haven’t either.

        A second message comes in.

      Kris: Im sorry BTW. What I said 2day was out of line. Can u 4give me? Pretty please. Witch cherries on top?

        I begin to smile. It’s a light one, but at least it’s something.

        Me: Of course. And Im sorry 2. Ur not a control freak. Ur just organized and no exactly what u want. I love u 4 it. :)

        Kris: Thanx. :)

        Me: So I’ll c u 2morrow?

        Kris: U got it. ;)

        When I am done texting mom is looking at me expectantly with her eyebrows raised. I stuff my phone into my back pocket and stand up from her bed.

        “That was just Kris. She apologized.”

        Mom looks very pleased and nods. “I knew things would work themselves out. You and Krista can never stay mad at each other for long. You have too much to talk about.”

        I roll my eyes at her. “Okay, I get it. We’re very forgiving.” I walk to her door and stand. “I’m getting hungry. I’ll go make us some lunch.”

        She turns and looks at herself in the mirror again holding up another outfit in front of her. For a moment I start to wonder which of us the parent is and which of us is the teenager. My mom is going through articles and articles of clothing trying to find the best outfit for her date Friday and I’m the one making us lunch with absolutely no date prospects for the party this weekend unless you count my philandering ex-boyfriend who is probably only taking me out of pity.

        Wow. I am pathetic.

        After the whole Teagan thing, I should probably cancel on Matt.

        “Yeah, yeah, lunch sounds great,” mom says with only half an attention span.

        “Then I guess I’ll find something for us to eat.” She doesn’t even notice when I leave.

       I walk to the kitchen and look through the fridge for lunch possibilities and settle on some wraps using the grilled chicken strips mom made for dinner one night this past week.

        I pull the ingredients from the fridge spread them out on the counter and flip on the little sixteen inch RCA TV across the kitchen sitting under the white corner cabinets. Some news broadcast is on and I flip through the channels finally settling on some mindless TV show for background noise and start on making the wraps.

        Mom finally ambles in after I call her to lunch and we both sit in silence eating our food while watching the TV program. It’s nice. Too bad I have school and it can’t be like this every day. Drama free and Matt free, two of the best things when put together.

        “That was good, honey. Thanks.” Mom carries her plate to the sink and washes it out. I look at the dish drainer where her plate now rests and realize it’s getting kind of full. I’ll empty it tonight before supper.

        “You’re welcome. It was pretty easy to put together. It’s not like I pulled together some Rachael Ray meal or anything.” I laugh and put away all the leftovers.

        “You might one day,” she says.

        When Connor gets home from school we talk about the day’s events, have supper, and then head to bed. It’s the best sleep I’ve had in nights and I barely even think of Matt when I get up and get ready for the day.

        At school Krista is waiting for me by the locker just like yesterday only this time we wave and there is no hostility between us.

        “You look good today. Slept well I take it?” She grins at me.

        I grin back. “The best.”

        She examines me for a moment taking in my new attire. “Like the shirt. Is it new?”

        “I got a lot of new clothes for school this summer.”

        She crosses her arms over her chest. “Yeah, but I don’t remember this piece.”

        I look down at my coral off the shoulder top and can understand why Kris is so surprised. Most of my clothes are casual with boring colors that don’t stand out. I prefer not to stand out. T-shirts and jeans is my normal garb and this is just a bit different.

       “I got it yesterday with my mom. We went shopping.”

     Her mouth drops open. “That’s not fair. You miss a day of school and your mom takes you shopping. I miss school and I get a million questions from mine.”

      “She has a date Friday. I promised to help her find something to wear. It was necessary, believe me. Have you seen my mom’s closet lately? Yuck.”

        “Ahh,” she nods. “The first post-divorce date. Now I get it. Is he hot?”

        I scrunch my eyebrows together. “Um…I don’t know, I’ve never actually seen him before and besides he’s like old, so…” I figure that’s explanation enough.

        Kris giggles. “I think the older ones are the most mature. Well…not that old, but you know, College old.”

        I raise my eyebrow at her, ready to question her which college guys she’s ever dated when she jumps up and waves her arms above her head like a crazy person and yells. “Hey, Brent, over here. What’s up? Come talk to us.”

        I turn and follow her gaze to Brent standing across the hallway talking to a couple of his friends. I want to die. He waves looking a little surprised by Kris and then notices me next to her and nods a hello with a grin forming on his face.

        I look back at Kris and shake my head. “That was a little extreme, wasn’t it? You couldn’t have waited until he walked past us to say hi instead of screaming like an insane person gathering the attention of everyone in the hallway.”

        She shrugs. “It’s more fun this way.”

        He turns back to his friends and says something to them and they walk away together as Brent makes his way over to us.

        “Hey, Krista. Hey, Summer,” he says.

        Simultaneously we both say, “Hey.”

       People are walking around the hallway a little rushed, getting their things together for class, and we all watch them silently. I look at Brent again and he is looking back at me too and we both smile and blush. I don’t get it. When did I start blushing from a single look from Brent Holloway?

        “Well…this has been nice, but I uh…I gotta go do some stuff so…yeah. See you guys later!” Krista rushes down the hall and shoots me a wink over her shoulder before disappearing around the corner and it occurs to me then what she’s done.

        That girl never gives up.

       The warning bell rings and I pull my shoulder bag up further on my shoulder. Time’s wasting away and neither of us is saying anything. Maybe we should both just go to class. I start to shuffle awkwardly in front of him when he turns toward my classroom at the end of the hall.

        “Can I walk you to class?” he offers. “You have English with Ms. Huntley, right?”

        Surprised by him knowing this, I blink a couple of time. “Uh…I do actually.”

        “Kade is in your class. I think he mentioned you once.”

        I nod. “Oh. Okay.”

        Kade is one of Brent’s friends. I didn’t even know Kade knew me. It isn’t like we’ve ever spoken.

    Brent and I head down the hall together in silence both glancing in each other’s direction occasionally. Our hands hang by our sides and at one point we get a little to close and our hands brush, but I quickly jerk away again just like I did that day in gym when he touched me on the back. I immediately want to slap myself.

        Why do I keep doing that?

       Matt. Matt. Matt. My mind whispers back to me. It’s like a constant reminder of why I can’t ever be with anyone else again. I still feel like Matt’s.

       By the time we reach my classroom I am determined to prove myself wrong. I am not Matt’s anymore and I don’t know if I will ever be again. That sends a shock of pain through me and when Brent faces me in front of the door I know what I have to do.

        Brent’ cute, smart and sweet. There is no reason why I shouldn’t do this right now. I don’t think he would even mind.

        “So…I guess I’ll see in gy-”

        Before I can over think it, I lean up on my tip toes and bring my lips to Brent’s cheek. I pull away quickly, but Brent is clearly shocked anyway.

        “Thank you for walking me to class. See you later.” I disappear into the classroom as quickly as possible and refuse to look back at Brent to see if he is still standing there or what his reaction is. It’s probably best I don’t know anyway. I couldn’t take it if he looked repulsed by me.

        I take my seat behind Matt and he looks back at me with an unreadable expression and smiles though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Hey, Summer,” he says.

        “Hey,” I say. My voice holds no emotion.

       When Matt turns back around in his seat I finally allow myself to look towards the door and Brent is no longer standing there. I sink down into my seat, placing my head in my hands and wonder what the hell I’ve just done.

       I just kissed Brent Holloway, on the check, in front of everyone, including my ex-boyfriend. Now that’s just crazy.

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A/N

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