chapter 0

Hope you know that this is your fault
I want you to feel bad when you go to sleep
I hope you're sad when you remember me
And feel bad for all you did to me

a/n: i changed vicki donovan's age in this story. she's the same age as jade, which means she was born in 1988.

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2003, mystic falls

It was a peaceful day in Mystic Falls, birds were chirping, flowers were bloom━ well they for sure as hell weren't blooming, because it's autumn, duh. For an early October night, sun was already forgotten, wind began to pick up and the whole town started to quiet down. That still didn't stop the two teenage girls for their daily meetup in the abandoned building on the edge of town.

Why there you may ask? Well, there are many deserted buildings in Mystic Falls (because everyone in their right mind leaves this hell hole) such as the old Municipal Auditorium, Professor Dickens's house - that one for sure is haunted. I mean, dude was totally bonkers, who the fuck has scream sessions at one in the morning? When Jade was in her sheriff's daughter/future detective era at age of nine, she constantly hung out behind the tree near the house with a notepad and wrote down her 'evidence for murder'. Her mum wasn't especially phased by her work, since all she wrote down was "he looks funny". Months later it turned out that Professor Dickens developed extreme schizophrenia and all he killed after all was himself. And there's of course Finnick's horse barn━oh, you mean why abandoned buildings at all? That's actually a f̶u̶n̶n̶y̶  terrifying story.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

october, 2001

When Jade and Vicki were thirteen, they watched Ghostbusters for the first time. That immediately became their new obsession and Ms. Donovan couldn't be more delighted at the news, because their latest infatuation was It, especially Pennywise - and the poor nine year old Matty was terrified of clowns. You can imagine how well that went. Girls used to paint their faces, sneak in his room at weekend nights, hide under his bed and whisper things like "Matty, do you want to float? Beep, beep Matty boo! Do you want a balloon?". Then, he would scream and cry for hours, which resulted in girls' laughing matches. Ms. Donovan then asked herself a question why she had the kids in the first place. Of course Jade bore all the blame, and Vicki's mum banned their slumber parties. Shame, she had good stuff in her liquor cabinet.

Since slumber parties were banned, and perfect Forbes household didn't want Kelly Donovan's devil spawn in it, two girls had to come up with somewhere else to hang out at night. Given that they were now obsessed with finding ghosts, they quickly came up with the idea of abandoned houses. They gathered all the important equipment, such as flashlights, walkie-talkies, notes (of course Jade had to make notes, everything had to be planned and documented to the T for further examination), homemade ouija board, snacks and two stolen cans of cheap beer. They choose the old Witch House (you know, for deeper connection or some other bullshit since it's literally called a Witch House). When they reached their destination━ all smiley and shit, because the two of them were creepy as hell for some reason━ they quickly climed up some partially cracked window and gathered themself at the centre of the dirty room. They unpacked their stuff, placing the ouija board beetween themselves. After a few tries of summoning the spirits, they gave up and opened up the snacks and beer. Then, the two friends started their talks━ usually bitching about their parents, siblings, school or boys.

When they were halfway through their drinks and an important story of how Caroline teeth started to get loose and how she tripped over Jade's skateboard and lost five of them all at once━they heard a noise.

When they started to explore the mysterious sound, suddenly they heard a door snap shut, and the little thrill-seakers almost got little heart attacks. After a few moments of catching their breath, the daredevils headed for the direction of the door, only to find a little kitten.

Kitten.

Is this kitten a fucking hulk?

The creepy door soon forgotten, since said kitty started to make the most adorable sounds. And of course the creepy cat stereotype - it was all black. After dissmissing Jade's genius idea to give it some beer, Vicki picked up their littlest companion and started to play with it. The Forbes girl started coming up with names, when the door snapped again, making the cat run away. Few heartbeats and concerned looks later, they finally went to the demon possesed room, finding nothing in it. Girls shared a confused glance, since there weren't any windows to begin with, so it wasn't the wind. They turned on their flashlights and started to explore the room━few broken furniture, glass shards spreaded across the dusty floor, some empty bottles of beer and few candles. Nothing unusal, untill Vicki tripped over something.

Jade shone some light at the floor, only to find absolutely nothing. The air started to shift and girl's breath started to get shallow. Jade, shifting her gaze to Vicki's, saw something on the corner of her vision. Donavan's eyes grew wide and she lifted her hand to point at something behind the blonde. Jade quickly twirled around herself only to find nothing. Scared absolutelly shitless, the thirteen year old looked at her best friend again only to find her supressing a laugh.

This bitch.

After swearing on everthing that's unholy that Jade indeed saw something, the two best friends turned their flashlights again at the floors and then at the walls, only to panicly cling to themselves. It certainly wasn't there seconds ago, but there it is, written in wax and ash.

"FUTURUM SANGUINUM, INGRATUM"

Gathering all their combined brain cells, the girls ran like hell to the same window, picking up their belongings on the way. After letting Vicki climb out first, Jade started doing the same thing. Being finally outside of the demon house, the blonde stole one last look through the shattered window. She widen her eyes.

There was woman standing, clearly not from this time. She was darkskinned, and wore a very outdated long, layered dress. Panic started to rise in her chest, she rapidly blinked and the woman was gone.

Jade started to run to catch up to Vicki. When they were out of sight of the Witch House they stopped in the middle of the street to catch their breath. After a few moments and intense eye contact the two deranged, soon-to-be-teenagers started to laugh.

Because that how they were━always looking for trouble, and when they finally found some, they revelled in the post adrenaline and made notes for future escapades.

Creepy writing on the wall still clearly visible in their heads.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Were they insane? Absolutely the fuck yes. Did they mind? Absolutely the fuck not.

That is why the two of them were like two peas in a pod. Of course on the outside it might seem like they should be in two whole different worlds━ Vicki coming from a broken family with only a distant mother. Having no proper parent figure, she has to step up sometimes when Kelly has too much to drink or has too much fun in town. Even if she's a bitch to little Matt, she cares about him more than the whole world.

On the other hand there's Jade - daughter of town's Sheriff and respected member of the town's councill. Perfect founding family, perfect suburban house, perfect white picket fence. Everything picture fucking perfect. Unless of course you dig a little deeper, listen little closer, see a little clearer.

Constant fighting, yelling, screaming, pushing around could be found on the inside of the ideal two floor american house. William Forbes, father of Jade and little Caroline always wanted his daughters to be this perfect, polite, charming and the most important - obiedient duo. School grades always had to be ideal, their friends had to be from founding families (or at least well respected among the population of Mystic Falls), absolutely no parties, no boys, nothing really. Just school followed by nine hours of studying, some snack if you done good and kept your head down. Then sleep and repeat.

So why the constant fights? Because Jade was having none of that shit and Bill Forbes cursed god himself for sending him a daughter from hell. She wanted to go out, have fun with her friends, have adventures and do stupid shit without getting caught. She was born with a free spirit, which yearned for action, adrenaline, danger. Her fate was to be free. Free from restrictions, limitations, rules and laws.

Although when Jade was a little girl, she looked up to her beloved daddy. Who wouldn't? She wanted to be just like him━strong, well respected, succesful with a loving partner and a beautiful house. Simply because that all that she had ever known. The Forbes family never travelled, always stuck in the same place in Mystic Falls.

Everything soon started to change when Jade started attending elementary school and met little, slightly toothless, Victoria Donovan. That girl from the wrong side of the tracks showed her that it's okay to be different. It's okay to want things that seem to be impossible to achive. It's okay to be just you. She was a wild child, always curious about the world. With a gypsy soul, reckless mind and a rebel heart. She wasn't meant to be contained. Just like Jade.

The two girls started to hang out, got to know each other. They sat together in every class, every lunch break constantly yapping and bickering. They talked, talked and talked.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

september, 1996

„What are your hopes and dreams? Come on! Get to know me Jade, I dare you." said little Donovan with a happy, slightly toothless smile. She looked up to her new blonde friend and grabbed a fry from her plate.

The Forbes girl gave her a full pearly smile and said „I just want to run away from here, maybe see the Eiffel Tower? Or no, bungee jump from Eiffel Tower! Or maybe explore the piramides in Giza? Did you hear that they have real mummies there? Or no, ski from the top of the piramides! That would be so cool." she rambled. Then she looked at her new brown hair friend, who had the audacity to steal her food and said „I just want to... go. Anywhere really. Wanna go with me?" 

Vicki lifted her gaze from the fries to Jade's. She saw the hopefullnes and exciment in her eyes and said softly „Yeah...yeah Forbes, you got it." she breathed in a low voice.

Jade then lifted her right hand and expanded her little finger in a questionable manner „Pinky promise?"

Vicki giggled and connected her finger with Jade's.

„Pinky promise, Forbes."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

When the news of the (in his eyes) scandalous friendship reached Bill Forbes' ears in the council meeting━well, he wasn't exactly delighted, you can say. He acted indifferent at the meeting, he couldn't crack his perfect image, oh no. He then came home and had a screaming match with his seven year old daughter, because why not. She always listened when he raised his voice━why persue and talk when you can be feared?

Screams turned to cries, when her father threw her to her room when she said that she won't stop seeing her new friend. She cried and cried, waiting for her mummy to come and let her out, but she never came. She had a nightshift that day, meaning that she won't be home at least until 6 a.m. You could hear little Caroline's cries from behind the wall, scared of the commotion. Then, if you listened closely, you would hear Bill quiet shushing and humming. Oh, how she envied that. She understood that Caroline need it more, since she is a whole damn baby, but what about her? About Jade? Why when distraughted and emotional she only gets scolded? Big girls don't cry, Jade. That's what their father would say.

Kinda ironic since her tears are always caused by him.

Morning came and her mother let her out of her room, she ran straight to the bathroom, having to hold it in the whole night, since her door were locked. He did that awfully often, and as a additional punishment he send her to school without any food.

But the girls didn't stop hanging out. Quite opossite really, they friendship grew even more, since they finally had someone to confide to, to have them truly listen. They finally felt content, not uterlly alone anymore.

As the friendship blossomed, and people started talking, the punishments at home grew too. Small pushing around, few slaps, locking in the same room for twelve hours, locking in the basement in the dark. You know, normal stuff right? That's what it had to be, othervise mum would do something else instead of screaming at dad. Maybe he done it to her too? Maybe she was scared too? But small kids don't see that. They don't want words, they want action. They wish it would just stop. They just want their mommy and daddy. Not this ice hearted monster and ghost of a mother.

But when Jade and Vicki got caught stealing candy from the small local shop at the age of eleven, it was his tipping point. Livid Bill Forbes threw his daughter seemingly lightly to his car, but his grip on her upper arm was pure iron. The ride home was eerily quiet, the only thing you could hear was the sounds of a car and rapidly beating heart of the little girl sitting on the passenger's seat. When they got home, her father sped them in the direction of the basement. Jade started screaming, apologizing, trying to get out of her father's grip. She even succeeded for a second, only to be grabbed again by her waist in a bruising grip. He pushed her off himself to the floor, turner around to grab something out of his bag and threw it at his daughter.

It was candy. A lot of it, in different forms, colors and flavors. She shot her father a blurry, questionable look, too terrified to ask him anything. He didn't say anything for a second, then he crouched down and tore down a bag of mini chocolate bars. Then, he roughly pulled Jade by her jaw, opened her mouth and poured it into her mouth. She started to gag and tears were streaming down her face. Bill only forcefully closed her mouth and made her swallow the whole thing.

"You will going to eat it over and over, until all you think about is how much you want to vomit. Maybe that will finally teach you to stop humiliating the Forbes name."

She was now fully broke down, eating another back of candy after another, when her so called father stood and watched. Her stomach felt like it was going to burst, her teeth felt like sandpaper, and━ her father was right, all she could think about was how much she wanted to puke it all out.

And she did, she threw up all over the floor and on her legs. You could see everything she ate that day, which was only the candy, because she was denied breakfast in the morning. She was now screaming and crying at the same time, shaking from the fear and all the sugar.

Her father simply sighed and crouched down again. He smoothed out her hair, pulling some of the sticky blonde strands out of her mouth. She turned her blurry gaze from the terrible sight of the floor to his gray, cold eyes.

She watched him hopefully. Is it over daddy? Please, I can't take it anymore, i'll be your good girl again, I won't steal again. Please daddy you have to believe me, daddy please...please, please stop....dad━

"Again."

She didn't have time to react, because in the next second he started to feed her forcefully some other pack of jellybeans. Again. She ate it. And another.

And another.

And she puked. Again.

And again.

At this point the smell of the basement was unbearable, she didn't event notice when her father exited the dungeon from hell. She was to busy laying in her own waste, puking her guts and crying hysterically. When she was done, out of tears, completely empty inside, she just layed there. Staring into space, head empty from thoughts. Completely broken above repair. She didn't ever bother to try to leave, she knew the door would be locked, as always.

Some time later, her thoughts started to appear again. Maybe she deserved all of this? Maybe it was her fault? She wasn't the perfect daughter, far from it. She didn't stood in line, always had something stupid to say. Maybe her father was right? Maybe she was worthless and an embarrassment.

But oh daddy, she's trying so hard, why can't you see that? She's still your little girl, how could do something like this to her? She just want your love, daddy, give it to her. She can be good again, she promises━she will be good, you have to believe her. She just want to be herself, why can't she? Answer her, father!

Maybe someday he could love her just as he loves Caroline?

So she imagined. She closed her empty, cobalt eyes and imagined. She would see her whole family at breakfast, she would be allowed this time, because she was good. She got a good grade in school, and started to draw again. Her daddy would love when she would stick her scribbles on the fridge. No slapping hands with sticks this time. Her mum would be there- smiling and full of life. No dark bags under her eyes and ghost gaze. She would laugh at something baby Caroline would do. Oh, sweet little Caroline. Her face would be full of chocolate chip pancakes, hiccuping from laughter. She would be full of light, the brightest star ever to exist. The whole room would be brighter, food would be tastier, and love would be seen from each pair of eyes.

a/n: so yup that happened. i kinda wanted the first chapter to be a peek inside Jade's head and explain some of the reasons why she'a a bit fucked up.

and also some backstory of jade's and vicki's friendship

vicki was a misunderstood sweetheart and deserved better on the show, period

also omg i wonder what that mysterious latin text said ??

sorry if it's a bit boring it's my first fic evURRR so bear with me ok ?? see ya muah