Chapter Twenty Four - How I Met Your Father

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° ° ° M A X I N E S E V I L L E ° ° °

I could never forgive myself for letting Connor move here all on his own.

"Maxine, please, calm down," my husband's warm voice soothed through the phone.

I sucked in a short breath, trying to rid myself of tears, but it just wasn't working, and I ended up letting a choking sob out from my throat. The sound coming from me was almost animalistic in its qualities; heartbreakingly loud, powerful, and breathy. Even Dani knew that by this point, I was done with trying to calm down.

"Daniel, I don't think you understand!" I shouted into the phone, tears dripping from my trembling lips, landing on the porch of the hotel background. "We agreed that Connor was old enough to live here on his own, but he's just not ready! He either needs to come back, or we need to all be here for him because he's going through too much here. I'm not going to bury my baby," I sobbed.

"Maxine, please, please don't cry," Dani whispered.

I only wished he was here to hold me close and wipe my tears. I could just stare into his shimmering baby blues for years upon years. Although my husband was not the most expressive person on the planet, I could see through his eyes what he felt.

But I was in Japan. I couldn't see what my lovely husband was feeling.

"Maxine, are you okay now?"

"No! I'm not okay Daniel!" I sighed harshly, running a hand through my fringe.

"Alright, alright," my husband said, sighing. "But we can't just relocate to Japan. Connie has friends here. So do we. Our entire family is here, Max. Plus, Aaron is going to graduate in a few years. We can't afford to move."

I swallowed the spit in my mouth and tried my best to hold myself together. I had to be strong for my family. Connor can't see me like this. Hell, Connie can't see me. I'll be damned if anyone but Daniel sees me this way. I can't be weak for them. "Daniel, I don't know what to do," I muttered, rubbing one shaky hand over my damp eyelid. I couldn't stop the hyperventilating either; not even if I tried.

"I'm scared. The doctors already said he's mentally unstable. I can't bury my baby, I can't Daniel. It'll kill me."

There was silence on the other end of the phone. "I know, Max. He's my son too, you know."

"Nooo," I uttered sarcastically. "He's the mail man's."

"I'm pretty sure I was there the night it happened," Dani replied. I laughed through my tears and hugged myself as best as I could.

"I know you have to go to work," I said after a short silence. The timezone difference is pretty bizarre, huh? It's night over here."

"Yeah," was all he said.

"Well, I love you Daniel. Have a safe trip. Wish me luck."

"Will do," my husband murmured. "I love you, Max."

And then the phone line cut.

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"Connor, baby are you here?"

I knocked on the door of my son's hospital room, but recieved no answer. I frowned, but knocked again on the metal door to no avail. I groaned, frustrated. So, I picked the lock. I pulled my personal lock picking device (which I bought on Amazon for cases like this), and bam! The door opened like a black Friday sale. Suddenly, and satisfyingly so.

"Connor! Are you here?"

The room was dark, with the heart monitor still beeping, and a few other machines dinging and booping. I hesitantly closed the door behind me, brushing hair behind my ear, when I heard it. My mommy senses tingled, and I was led to the bathroom.

Once again, I had to pick the lock.

Once again, I'm so glad I'm smart.

1 - mom; 0 - son.

After doing a little celebratory dance, I walked inside the bathroom of the hospital room Connor was staying in to walk in on this awful, awful mess of blankets, broken mirror slivers, and a swiveling excuse for a son on the floor.

"Connor oh my God, are you okay?"

I was at his side in an instant, and was face to face with my son's red nose and puffy red eyes. He'd been crying.

"Con, what happened?" I whispered.

Connors face crumpled the instant I asked, and I was suddenly dragged into a bone crushing hug. My middle son cried into my shoulder like he used too when he was was a child, and would scrape his knee on the sidewalk, or when Aaron would steal his new toys. His heart wrenching sobs shook my soul, and as a mother, I held him closer and rocked him back and forth, whispering sweet things into his ears.

"M-mommy," he choked out. "It hurts. It h-hurts so much."

"What does, baby?" I asked, stroking his hair. It had gotten longer since I last seen him.

"My heart."

I listened to Connor's cries die out, until he was only sniffling and huffing into my chest. I nuzzled his neck, and chuckled as he made a sound almost like a kittens mew. Connor was taller than me, so when he sat up straight and hugged me, I was engulfed in his very essence. It reminded me of his father.

"Con, did I ever tell you how I met your father?"

Connor pulled away from me and shook his head, leaning against the bathroom wall, wiping his eyes on the sleeves of his makeshift sweater - which in reality was a white blanket that was strewn on the floor like dirty laundry.

"Well," I began, "I met Daniel when I was in middle school. I know right? So long ago!" Connor chuckled.

"Mom you're not that old."

"I'll be forty next year, honey I'm getting grey hairs! Next thing you know I'll be needing a walker!" I shouted, throwing my hands up in exasperation.

"But I digress," I said. "Anywho, your father was like the new kid. Or at least new to me. He was in my class, and sat at the very front. He didn't have a lot of friends because...well you know how your father is. His texting conversations could literally just be that straight faced emoji. It's really unnerving. Especially as a hormonal twelve year old."

Connor seemed interested in my story now, and huddled closer to my body, listening to my tale of how for years I pinned after Daniel...and he never knew I existed. Until that one day...

"So it was a normal Thursday...or Monday, I don't really know," I chortled. "But I remember this really fat kid dumping his lunch on Daniel. I got so angry that I stormed over to kick some ass when I slipped on spaghetti and BAM! Landed right on top of Daniel. We ended up making it on the school newspaper. I still have a copy, if I'm being honest here," I whispered, my cheeks tingling red.

"After that incident, we became friends. Blah, blah, blah, heartbreak, candy, voodoo dolls, and some romance later in college, and BOOSH Aaron was conceived!"

Connor snorted, and then shook his head.

"Mom, did you really try to curse dad?"

"...No."

Connor gasped. "Mom, you TOTALLY DID! YOU TRIED TO CURSE DAD THAT IS SO WEIRD AND CUTE!"

I turned red and looked away, trying to fight the blush on my cheeks. I shouldn't be blushing damnit. I've had three children, and sex hundreds of times. Telling a little story like shouldn't make me turn to mush.

But seeing that stray smile on Connor's face was worth it.

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"Thanks mom, for cheering me up," Con said as we snuggled up in his bed and watched Korean Dramas on my phone.

"No problem honey, but if you wanna talk, pause the episode. Switch Girl is my shit."

Connor laughed and I squeezed him harder, glad that I had this time to spend alone with my son. His sad, haunting face now had some color. The sadness seemed to have washed away his worries for now.

For now, it was just me, my baby, and Crunchyroll.

Just how I like it.

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"No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you're the only one whose heard my heart beat from the inside."

- a mother to a son

Life and death; without one there cannot be the other.
For some it's short, but they live it like no other.

For most it's long, and to be happy they don't ever bother.
Life cannot be lived without the love of others.

The second we are born is the second we begin to die.
As a child we live life and don't worry why.

As we grow it gets tougher and we don't want to try.

Like everything else, it will end and we'll have to say goodbye.

Whether it's twenty years or one hundred-twenty,

Live it with a purpose to be greater than many.

Most likely life will be long;
So live it with the future in mind

Because if you act in the moment life is never kind.

- Anonymous

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