|Chapter Fourteen|Sirius Kisses! DUN DUNN DUNN!

-

Last time on It's Callie...

November 26. Thanksgiving.

"SURPRISE!"

My family had come to surprise me on Thanksgiving, flying all the way from America to Japan.

"I missed you mommy..."

I had missed my family. I nearly cried in joy.

And Sirius and I spoke.

Sirius stopped abruptly and turned to face me. I did the same. He never smiled much, if at all, and had these piercing grey eyes that seemed uncaring and distant.

"Sirius, we're both guys. And you're family. It's not right."

Our love was forbidden.

He was the sacred apple on the tree of sin.

I was Eve, stupidly reaching for that apple. That apple of sin.

"Even if the world wastes away, and no one else cares about you, I'll still love you. Even if everyone is against you, I'll stay by your side. I won't leave you alone," he said I knew he meant it.

I felt his face press against my back, and his hand intertwine with my own.

I willingly bit into the apple, never knowing the catastrophe that it would create.

I willingly bit into the apple, sealing my fate.

- < • • °^° • • > -

I woke up to sunshine and blonde hair, splayed around me.

I yawned and stretched, back still firmly planted on the mattress. I didn't want to move, I was so warm. Sunlight caressed my eyelids. My lashes fluttered, and I groaned, not wanting to move. And then I heard something.

Or more like, felt something.

Someone was breathing on the back of my neck.

It took me a few minutes to realize it was only Sirius, with his arms wrapped around me. Quickly, I wiggled around until we were face to face, his arms still encasing me. Sirius looked so happy in sleep, unlike his wakeful self. While he slept he looked like an angel, with his blonde hair haloing his face. I couldn't help but let my breath catch as I watched his sleep. What was I doing?

He was family.

It wasn't normal. Wasn't right. Besides, I couldn't focus on him. I need to find out who Yoho Hotoro was. If I wanted him to live, that was.

Yet I couldn't bring myself to pull out of his clutch; I couldn't deny I liked the feeling of him touching me. I couldn't deny he was absolutely adorable in sleep. I also could not deny that I felt so comfortable around Sirius. He felt familiar, and safe, and homey. I felt myself close my eyes, and laid my head against Sirius's chest. I would just relish in the moment. I'd worry about what people would think later.

What would Tamaki think?

What would Hikaru and Kaoru think?

What would Chou-san and Kanji think?

What would Ranka think?

Don't worry about it, I whispered internally. Don't worry, don't worry, don't worry.

As I stretched once again, I felt Sirius stir beside me. His back arched, yet his hold around my waist was ever strong. Sometimes I wished things Were different. It was torture to think the things that I did. Sometimes I felt really masochistic... and wondered what if?

And then my brain would bring up someone else. Someone like Tamaki, or Kaoru. And then I'd think of Sirius again.

I was startled.

Suddenly, my body was flipped around, and Sirius held onto my body, his breath caressing my neck. I couldn't look at him, but I tried.

"You smell really good," I heard him mutter under his breath. "Kind of like a girl."

I turned a bright red and sat up quicker than ever thought possible.

Down below me, Sirius was staring up at me through half of his lids. He had this sexy smile on his face, which I was surprised to see. Sirius never really smiles. Slolwy, Sirius sat up as well, he rubbed the back of his neck, the smile fading into his neutral expression as always. My face was still red as he looked at me, and he knew exactly. Due to this, he winked at me and wrapped his arms around my waist, snuggling his face into my neck.

I couldn't have been redder in my entire life.

And I haven't been as humiliated either.

Not thirty seconds later, Connie came barreling through the door. "Connor! I wanna go on a tour of your city! Aaron said it would be fun! C'mon-"

She paused halfway towards me, staring in confusion. Sirius just peeked through his lashes, and waved her away with his free hand, clutching me closer. "Connie, we're busy. Come back later," he said in a really tired tone of voice. She just frowned and turned around as slowly as possible, walking out.

I frowned at Sirius.

"Was that even necessary?"

The little fucker ignored me. "Did you know that your skin is really soft?"

I sighed, exasperated. He wouldn't listen. He was the entire reason my parents suspected I was gay.

They weren't wrong.

I wasn't sure if I'd ever get the chance to tell them, now.

○ ○ ○

My parents left. They decided to go sight seeing around the neighborhood, while the grandparents, Connie and Aaron took a trolley around Kyoto. My aunt and uncle went with my parents.

Of course, Sirius wanted to do none of those things and stuck with me.

Connie wouldn't look me in the eyes, and avoided Sirius at all costs. I would just sigh.

It took us awhile to decide what to do, but eventually we came up with with a solution. Sirius told me he wanted to go somewhere nice, but somewhere we'd be alone. So naturally I took him to the park near where I live.

The park was only a couple blocks from my apartment, opposite my school. It had paths covered in Sakura trees, and in the spring I knew that it would bloom beautifully. Sirius gazed around as we wondered down the path, his face as emotionless as ever. Even if he didn't show it, I knew he was happy to be alone with me. Even if he would smile, I could still tell he was enjoying his time with me. It was just something I knew.

"I know I said this already," Sirius started, "but I really do love you."

He stared me straight in the eye, and sat me down on a bench.

"Sirius, we can't. Do you know what other people would say? Think?"

Sirius stared at me. "Is that why you won't accept me? Because of the opinions of other people?"

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "No, Sirius, I can't love you. It's wrong! Loving a family member is wrong. Loving a boy is wrong. I feel horrible enough as a person as in, can't you give up already?" I felt tears sting the back of my eyes and I repeatedly ran my fingers through my hair.

This is why I hate it when Sirius visits.

He reminds me that I'm wrong, he reminds me that I'm not normal and I hate it.

I had enough on my plate.

Loving boys is wrong, disgusting. And I can't help it. As more pain arose in my chest, I covered my face with both hands and tried to block the tears but they somehow slipped through. "I'm sorry," Sirius mumbled, wrapping an arm around my torso. "I really am. But you're not wrong, Connor. You're perfect; flaws and all. There are plenty of boys who are willing to show you that you aren't wrong. You aren't a sin. And no matter what you do, I will love you."

I willingly bit into the apple, never knowing the catastrophe that it would create.

I willingly bit into the apple, sealing my fate.

I sobbed into his shoulder as he rubbed circles in my back. I couldn't stop the onslaught of tears. I couldn't help but think I was wrong. And my family...God what would my grandparents think? What would they say?

This is why I hated it when Sirius came over.

He made me feel and think things I didn't want to.

When I was by myself, I could pretend that things were fine. That I didn't have horrible thoughts in my head. Jade had been right since I had moved here. I wasn't normal.

Normal people didn't like boys.

Normal people didn't dress up as girls.

Normal people didn't love their cousin.

Sirius pulled me back from his embrace, and stared at me deeply with his sharp grey eyes. He leaned in close, and pressed his lips against mine. I denied him at first, when Sirius grabbed the back of my body and pushed me harder towards him. Then, I couldn't hold back. I couldn't. My lips moved in sync with Sirius as we kissed deeply, sadly, passionately. He liked my bottom lip, and I let him in, scoping the inside of my mouth. He smelled musky, and tasted sweet, like candy.

His hands tangled in my hair, and I felt happy. Or at least, I didn't feel sad. Sirius was like a drug that would kill me from the inside out, but I'd still take him because I couldn't stop.

I needed to stop.

I needed to stop.

I needed to stop.

I needed to stop.

I needed to stop.

I needed to stop.

I needed to stop.

I pulled back from Sirius, and pushed him away. My breathing was heavy, as was his. His shoulders sagged, and I could see him struggle to control himself. This always happened. We would kiss, I'd push him away, and then I'd see something I didn't want to see. Something frightening.

His tears.

"I'm not gonna stop trying," he said shamelessly wiping a crystalline droplet. If were close, Chou could take him from me, and I'd be forced to see those tears again. He walked away as snow filtered down from the sky, and landed softly on my hot cheeks. I watched his retreating back and fell to my knees.

Our love was forbidden, but I didn't care.

Didn't he see I was only protecting him?

○ ○ ○

Hope you enjoyed that chapter!

Please comment thoughts, ideas, or even criticism is welcome.

Peace!

E D I T E D