Chapter Eighteen - Discordant

° ° ° J A D E D I C K S O N ° ° °

"Hey, handsome, it's time for me to go," I muttered into Umehito's neck where my head rested.

"Do you have too?"

I stood up and winked. "If I don't leave now, I'll never go."

Umehito Nekozawa and I were chilling in the club room since the other two members of the club had left. I loved being in the dark room, lit by candles that just barely illuminated Umehito's facial features. When we were in the dark he'd take off his hood and wig, and then I could run my fingers through his blond fringe.

"Nyo," Umehito called out the nickname he used for me as I packed up my things. "Don't forget to grab the present I got you for Christmas."

I frowned. "I'm still mad about that. I didn't want anything, and Christmas isn't for another week."

"I know that," he said. "But I just wanted to give you something special. Why don't you open it now?"

I sighed, but smiled as I grabbed the little box on the table where our freshly painted Belzeneff dolls lay. When I turned around I bit my lip, looking at the soft smile on Umehito's face. He looked so happy and so peaceful. It made me wanna tear up. I knew how hard he had it at home and at school, and to see him so care free was relieving. I peeled back the purple wrapping paper, (my favorite color), and saw a velvet box. I bit my cheek as I opened the box, and nearly dropped the present.

"Ume," I exclaimed "I can't accept this!"

Umehito Nekozawa stood up and strut over to me, wrapping his arms around me from behind. In the velvet box was a necklace decorated in diamonds. In the center was a Belzeneff charm, with a little heart in his hands. I bit my quivering lip. No one had ever been so nice to me. "Please take it as a token of my love, Jade."

"Umehito," I said, turning around, "could you put it on me?"

Wordlessly he clipped the necklace around me and I pressed my face into his chest, breathing in his musky scent. I was so lucky.

In the silence of our club room we enjoyed each others company, no need for words.

They would only ruin the peace we had.

° ° °

As I rounded a corner, I could hear voices speaking. "...So do you know something he'd like? I want to get him something really nice for Christmas?"

I frowned and backed up, peaking up from the corner. Tamaki, president of the Host Club, was talking to Sirius, Connor's cousin. Sirius seemed really irritated, but it seemed that Tamaki couldn't notice the other blonde's mood. I wanted too interupt, but it seemed like if I did I'd be intruding on something way personal.

So I eavesdropped from the shadows instead, like a fricken ninja or something.

"Why don't you go ask him yourself? Why do you care anyway?" Sirius asked in a grumpy voice. It was weird seeing his usual stoic façade interrupted by anger.

He and Connor were much alike in that way; both let their anger take control of them. It was almost funny.

"Uh, I want it to be a surprise," Tamaki stuttered. "Because we're going to the dance together, I figured...I'd give it...to him there..." Tamaki trailed off slowly as Sirius's eyes popped right out of his skull.

My eyes widened as well.

I had no idea Connor was taking Tamaki to the dance. It was cute almost, but I was almost sure he was going with someone else.

Sirius looked like he was gonna murder someone, the way his eyebrows furrowed and just that whole look he sported.

"You're taking Connor to the dance?" He said in a low serious voice.

Tamaki nodded, the smile sliding off of his features.

"What does he even see in you?" Sirius grumbled. "You're just some blonde rich boy."

"Hey!" Tamaki said offended. "I can like him if I want too! And I'm sure he likes me at least a little if he decided to go with me."

Sirius snorted.

"What do you have against me?" Tamaki suddenly said, eyebrows lifted up. "From the first day it seemed like you didn't like me. Did I do something? I'm sure this is the first time we've ever talked."

Sirius gave him this look and then glanced out the hall window. "You exist. You're in my way."

"Your way?" Tamaki questioned.

"Yeah. My way."

I suddenly cleared my throat. Sirius was going to kill Tamaki at this point, and I figured I should stop eavesdropping. I strut out from my corner and waved at the duo, smiling. My rounded glasses slid down my nose and I pushed them back up.

"Hey guys, what's up?"

Tamaki bit his lip and then broke out into an easy smile. "Nothing. I was just leaving."

I smiled crookedly at Tamaki. He waved and walked away, his smile crumbling into an upset lip bite.

I turned to Sirius and frowned. "What's your problem? Tamaki isn't a bad guy. He's really not."

Sirius grimaced. "Don't say his name."

"What why? What happened between you two-"

"Just let it go!" Sirius shouted. His voice echoed in the hall and I stared at him like he was crazy. I was taken aback. I was just trying to be a good friend and ask what's wrong, but he has to be a prick.

"Get over yourself," I muttered under my breath. "I'm trying to be a good Samaritan, and all you're doing is being a douche."

Sirius took a deep breath before composing himself into his icy mask once more. To be honest, it was unsettling how everything he did was unemotional. You could never see the wear and tear it had on him - unlike me who was an open book. If I was sad you could tell. If I was happy, you could tell. And these days, I was always happy. Nekozawa made my life happier. He made me smile, laugh, and dance. He made my heart sped up, and my breathing turn gasping.

But I knew Connor was having a hard time. Lately he's been skipping school and feigning sickness to go find his long lost relative Yoho Hotoro.

Not only that, Sirius was just stressing him. I had been hoping to talk to Tamaki about it soon, but if the dance went as well as I expected it, I wouldn't have too. I saw the way he looked at Tamaki; a cheery smile, long gazes - he had the hots for the flirty blonde!

Just the thought made me grin, albeit loosely.

"Sorry," Sirius said breaking the icy thin silence. "I've been in a bad mood all week."

"What happened?" I asked again, voice softer. I placed a hand on Sirius's back. His nose twitched.

"Connor. He...he said Tamaki's name when we were...kissing." The words sounded bitter flying off his tongue. "It made me feel so small. I've been trying my hardest to get him to notice me - to really see me as an equal. A lover. And all he sees is some cousin who he can't be with. I know he likes me! At least a little!"

Sirius looked so desperate. I could see how much he cared about Connor but Connor didn't see him that way.

"Hate to break it too you blondie, but Tamaki is the only guy on his mind right now," I said.

"I know," Sirius said bitterly.

"Life is like a box of chocolates-"

"- you never know what you're gonna get."

We gazed at each other for awhile, when Sirius sighed and slumped against the window of the hall. My brain buzzed but I kept my mouth shut. I kind of wished Connor was here now. He always gave me good advice. But I now realized that Connor needs help himself. He just doesn't know how to deal with it. He needs to put himself first. His happiness comes before everyones, and I don't think Sirius sees how much Connor puts on the line.

He crossdressed to make Candi and Kai happy.

He models to make Chou happy.

He kisses Sirius to keep him happy.

He doesn't tell me his problems to keep me happy.

He doesn't tell his family he is gay to keep them happy.

He's scared if he doesn't do what people expect, they'll leave. But I won't.

I'd never leave.

"You know, Connor's having a rough time as is," I said suddenly. "Think about him first if you seem to love him so much."

With that I walked away, fingers latched onto my Belzeneff charm.

I'd never leave. I owe my life to him.

○ ○ ○

Discordant

dis·cord·ant
ˌdisˈkôrd(ə)nt/
adjective

1. disagreeing or incongruous.
"the principle of meritocracy is discordant with claims of inherited worth"

Love you

Seriously, I love you.

G'night.

"The most I can do for a friend is to simply be his friend. I have no wealth to bestow on him if he knows I am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward. Is not friendship divine in this?"

|| Henry David Thoreau ||

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