Shaahid woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his fever vanish in thin air. He threw away the blanket and sat up on the bed. He then slowly got down and walked out of the room.

The corridor was still lit. He checked time. It was only twelve thirty. Which meant he had been sleeping since evening, and it made him feel it was already dawn.

He walked upto Sakina's room. Pushed the door slightly open.

And then he saw her.

Standing at the table with her back towards the door, carefully checking on something.

Shaahid coughed out loud.
Sakina shivered and turned, the thing in her hand flew away and fell at Shaahid's feet.

He picked it up.
The strip of red pills with five missing.

He widened his eyes in horror and stared at her.

" You......you....have you taken these pills again, Sakina ji? "

Sakina now made a weird face, and went to sit on the bed. She stared at him dumbly.

" I'm asking you something!!! Did you take these pills? "

Sakina slowly nodded her head. But something was wrong with her demeanor.

" But why???? " , Shaahid screamed.

" Because.....because.... I was feeling lonely!!! You did not come to me!!! Salman isn't here!!! I was missing everyone, qdamn it!!!!  " , Sakina screamed back.
" But...... " , she drifted away.

" Are you insane? Who does this again and again??? " , Shaahid walked upto her and shook her head.

Sakina jumped down from the bed.
" Shut up!!!
I can do whatever I wish to!! If you won't pay me attention, I'll choose to die!!

But, last time when I had taken five pills, I fell asleep immediately.

How come I'm not going senseless even after two hours of taking them, this time? "

Sakina stared at Shaahid, distressed.

Shaahid too stared back for sometime.

Then, to Sakina's horror, he burst into an immense laughter.

Shaking, falling here and there, lying and cycling on the bed, running around, Shaahid returned after a tremendous fit.

Then, somehow holding his breath together, he uttered,

" Madam, those that you gulped aren't sleeping pills. They are red colored sugar coated balls, exactly similar to them. I had replaced the sleeping pills from your drawer that day, when I got its location after your fever. I knew you might do these childish antics anyday.
Look, I was so tight. " , Shaahid still caught his tummy.

Sakina stared as if she was seeing a ghost. Then crashed on the bed while Shaahid somehow balanced himself to sit on the chair.

" But what the hell led you to gulp those?
Goodness me!!
I was sick, and as soon as I felt steady I walked upto your room. There's a limit to every kiddishness! "
Shaahid said after sometime.

Sakina immediately twisted her lips and broke into sobs.
Shaahid stared.
" What now?
You want another bunch of sleeping pills to mourn the flopped plan of making me feel guilty? "

She looked at him with welled up eyes.

" Tha...a...ank....you.... " , she was sobbing.
" So...oo...oo...rry... " , she sneezed while sobbing.

Shaahid danced his legs.
" Listen. As long as I am around you, your loosened screw won't at least fall off your brain. I will take care it doesn't fall.

But if you think you can make yourself tremendously important to someone, more and more than you already are, using attention seeking tactics, you are in to desperately fail.
Because that's not how life works. "

" I.... I.... I know....

When I.... Last time ate....pills... Salman came after, three...days..
That too, when bhai went and almost forced him to... " , Sakina stopped, and wailed putting her palms on her mouth.

Shaahid stared carefully at her.
" Your bhai forced him?
Why did he not come himself?
Most importantly why did you eat pills that time?

Okay leave it.
Why did you do it today? "

" Because I was feeling lonely.

I need someone beside me. Other than my own brother. He's the only person I'm seeing since I was a baby. " , she sobbed louder.

" That's natural. We don't see our husband or wife just after birth.
We see our siblings and parents. " , Shaahid twisted his lips.

Sakina said nothing. Just cried.

" Why do you play this pretending to die game? You know very well that five pills cannot kill.
You want people to understand your worth this way. But let me tell you, no one apart from your bhai felt anything about it last time. "
Shaahid said, smiling.

Sakina still remained silent.

" You are important to people around you. In the same way, people around you should be important to you. Their well being, unwell being, their happiness, sadness, everything should affect you in the same way you want yours to affect them.

That way they'll realize your worth even more profoundly.

And you won't have to eat five pills everytime to seek importance. "

Shaahid got up and walked out of the room.

Sakina sat behind like a ghost.

____

Early morning Rubina walked into Shaahid's room with a bowl of hot soup. But he was nowhere to be seen.

Rubina looked around.

And then shrieked when she saw him coming out from below the bed.
" Oh my god! Were you sleeping there in the night? Did your fever make you cold, or mad? "

Shaahid got up and dusted his body.
" None. I lost an important letter. Was searching for it. " , he looked sad.

" Sophia would know. She's an expert in disposing off important things while sweeping.
Once she disposed off Saajid bhai's birth certificate.
He was shouting, 'Now people will say that I don't even exist, I wasn't ever born. ' "

" But if she has really disposed off this, it'll be my death sentence. " , Shaahid was almost on the verge of crying.

Rubina now raised her brows.
" Whose letter was that? "

He sighed.
" My Childhood's. "

_____

Dropping school for the first time after joining made him feel like a free lion out of the zoo.

This was how life should be. Completely under control. Without hazards.

Shaahid sat on the bed, thinking about the whole situation.

Sakina had lost her parents as a baby. Since then, she had only been in the company of her brother.
The brother took immense care of her, fulfilled every of her demands.
She was spoiled somewhat, but her introvert nature and absence of Ammi, kept her a loner as well.
A spoilt loner.

Salman was a sudden breeze in her life. But maybe she held onto him so tightly that he choked. And couldn't love her back as much as she did.

Hmmm....

He softly patted the pillow.
Thank god, the letter had just flown away to the top of the cupboard. Weird bird-ly letter. Like letter, like sender.

It now carefully resided below the pillow again.

A sound happened at the door.

Sakina walked in slowly. As if she was entering the principal's room after throwing ink at a fellow student's shirt.

" Hello Sakina ji!
How come you in my room? Wasn't I supposed to go to your room like how a tenant should go meet his landlady out of respect? " , Shaahid grinned.

Her white skin flushed. She stood tangling her finger at the edge of her dupatta.

" I.....errmm.....am....sorry to have tried to create a scene last night.

I am such an idiot..

Can you please forgive me? Please? Please? "
She twisted her lips.

Shaahid smiled.
" I don't bear grudges against anyone Sakina ji! My life is a a forgetting, forgiving and foregoing tale.

I learnt this art from someone. That person recites a quote of Ghalib every now and then.

'Kuch iss tarah maine Zindagi ko aasan kar liya,
Kisi se maafi maang li,
Kisi ko maaf kar diya!' "

Sakina's eyes shone.
She slowly walked towards him and sat beside on the bed. Staring deeply into his eyes.

He smiled wider.
" You too take up this ideal.
Life will be beautiful. "

Sakina smiled back. A beautiful smile.

And softly uttered.

" Thank you.

For walking into my life, when I needed the most. "

Shaahid did not respond.

Because he knew,
he should not respond.