A/N: 

Hey guys! How ya' doing? Anyways, nothing interesting happened since yesterday so let’s just get onto to the chapter. Here's chapter 15 of It's Actually Kind of Funny!!! Enjoy!

*Phil's POV*

I came from dinner, rushing back over to Dan’s dorm to continue talking to him and holding his hand, taking in his warmth. Jason walked with me, needing to show something he had to Luke. We had casual discussion about how we got here and I realized that Jason and I weren’t much different. We turned around the corner before we caught sight of what was inside Dan and Jason’s dorm. My feet stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the sight in front of my eyes.

My mouth dropped open and Jason looked over at me with a worried expression. I felt like falling down on the ground and breaking out into tears, but I couldn’t. I was paralyzed by the thousands of thoughts and emotions going through my head. Jason quickly dashed into the room once he realized the hurt I was feeling and that Dan and this boy were making out on his bed.

“What the fuck mate!” I heard Jason yell before everything around me went mute. I should’ve known Dan didn’t want me like that; I shouldn’t have even had the smallest piece of hope. The sounds of their loud conversation muffled through my ear, all though I didn’t process anything they were saying.

Dan threw up on the floor before the curly brown haired boy that was down at Dan’s jeans almost seconds ago shouted at him. “Ugh, Dan you’re disgusting Dan,” he pointed towards Jason, “Who is he?” I would’ve understood if Dan threw up, I wouldn’t have been grossed out one bit, because I knew what it was like. I understood Dan, something this green eyed boy was clearly struggling with. He reached towards Dan before Jason dashed towards them, throwing Dan over and behind his back. “Don’t fucking touch him,” Jason had a stern look across his face, “I think you should leave, before Dan gets into any trouble.” PJ shook his head at the both of them before turning around, “I’m glad to,” he exclaimed before dashing out the room, passing by me.

Dan quickly tossed on his shirt and dashed out the room, obviously not noticing me, just like everybody else. “PJ, wait!” he yelled before slowing down his breath, thinking of something to say. I stood there, hoping that Dan would tell PJ that he didn’t know why he made out with him. That the only boy that he actually wanted was me, Phil Lester, but that obviously didn’t happen.

“I love you,” he muttered to the curly brown haired, green eyed boy in front of him. My heart fell into the pit of my stomach as the words rushed through my ears. I knew that I would only get hurt by liking Dan more than just a friend.  “Dan, sort yourself out,” PJ rolled his eyes and turned around the corner of the hallway, disappearing out of mine and Dan’s sight.

Dan turned around, with a disappointed expression before stopping and looking down at my feet. He slowly looked up until our eyes met. I felt a tear streak across my cheek and fall down to the floor before a concerned expression crossed Dan’s face. “Phil, I—“ I felt my feet loosen from their paralysis and I turned around before Dan could finish his sentence.

I ran down the hall and turned around the corner, tears falling like waterfalls from my eyes. I heard footsteps jogging behind me, knowing it was Dan trying to catch up with me. I only ran faster before I got to my room, Charlie sitting on his bed. I slammed the door behind me and plummeted onto my bed. I felt the knocks on the door and I breathed heavily, trying to control my emotions. “Don’t open it,” I managed between sobs, “Don’t get it, Charlie.”

The knocking continued, getting stronger and louder by the second. Charlie walked over to my bed, sitting by my side, placing his hand on my bag. “What the hell happened, Phil?” he asked sounding very worried. I didn’t turn myself to face him and kept my face buried into my pillow. “Dan,” I choked out, “Dan happened.” The knocking stopped and I heard Dan slide down and sit in front of my door.

“Phil?” he mumbled quietly, “Phil, come on, open up. I swear I can explain if you let me in.” I shook my head, signaling Charlie to not let him in. I really couldn’t be bothered seeing him, it would only make me more crushed inside. “What did Dan do,” Charlie traced shapes into my back, calming me down. I calmed down enough to get up, face, and begin to explain to Charlie what had happened.

*Dan’s POV*

I knew he wouldn’t open the door so I plopped down on the grown, leaning against his door. I heard mumbling begin in his room, two different voices, and I knew Charlie was in there with him. I didn’t get everything that Phil was saying and decided to block them out. I started to rethink everything that happened. When I said I love PJ, it didn’t feel right. It almost felt like I forced it out of myself. It then really confirmed that I didn’t love PJ.

I focused back onto the conversation Phil and Charlie were having behind the door, Phil lightly sobbing. I tried to make out as much as I could but it was hard, they were talking so quietly. I stayed as quiet as possible, holding in my breath; I really shouldn’t have been doing this. I shouldn’t have been listening in on their conversation.

I was about to get up and leave, to go and apologize to Jason for making out on his bed, but then Phil raised his voice. The words shot so clearly through the door and into my ears. “Charlie, I fell in love with him!” he voiced, “And even when he did that with PJ, I still can’t help but love him.” Phil was in love with me? Of course he was, how did I not notice the signs? I sat back down on the door, as quietly as possible.

 “There’s no doubt why you wouldn’t fall in love with him,” Charlie calmly explained, “The boy’s one of the sweetest people I’ve met, even though he could be a little cocky, it’s obvious that’s just a cover up.” He was right, I always seemed like this big headed guy to others, but in reality, I hated everything about myself; this place just gave me no reason to hide the real me because I knew everyone would understand. “He’s just a little confused,” Charlie calmly talked, “He doesn’t quite know what he wants and he’s taking his time here to figure it all out.”

Charlie was completely right, I was confused. I didn’t know what I wanted. I got up and decided to go back to my dorm to talk about what had happened with Jason. Before I left, I found a piece of paper and a pen at the reception desk and wrote a note on it. Phil, let me explain. I know you probably don’t want to talk to me but I need you to hear me out. Meet me in the same place where we first met tomorrow morning. –Dan

I slid the note under the door, not bothering to knock, and walked off. I came back into my dorm and Jason sat on his bed. The vomit was gone from the floor; Louis must’ve come in to clean it up. “Sorry for running in and pulling you two apart like that,” he stuttered, “I couldn’t see Phil hurt like that.” My eyes widened when I realized Phil had saw PJ and I making out, PJ unbuckling my jeans. “Dude, don’t fret it, I was making out on your bed for fuck’s sake,” I laughed and went to sit on my bed. “I really hurt him, didn’t I?” I looked down at my hands, feeling ashamed. Jason just nodded before getting up to hug me, enveloping me in the warmth of his arms.

“H-he said he was in love with me,” I stuttered, not breaking my eye contact with the floor, “And even after seeing t-that, he said he still loved me.” Jason pulled me away from him, I smile crossing his face before he patted my back. “Did you feel anything, you know, when you were sucking faces with PJ,” Jason giggled before turning serious. I had to think for a minute before I answered. “Actually, you know what,” I perked up a little, “I really didn’t, I was just horny.” Jason laughed before raising his eyebrows at me, taking me a little while to realize what he was implying.

“I felt chemistry when I kissed him,” I realized, “When I kissed Phil. It was like I was having my first kiss but it actually felt special that time.” Then it hit me, I was so blinded by thinking that I was in love with PJ that I didn’t realize what I really needed was right in front me. I only dwelled over PJ, had a huge crush on him, but I was never in love with him. I realized that if I ever actually got together with PJ, my depression wouldn’t go away. I needed someone who understood me, someone who knew what it was like, someone who could actually help me. That someone was there the whole time, ever since I first laid eyes on them. Phil, that someone was Phil Lester. I was in love with Phil Lester.

Woah. Pheels. Sorry. Did you guys like the chapter? I hope you did because I really enjoyed writing this chapter. Let me know what you think, feedback and stuff! Thanks for reading, love you all! <3