(Sans p.o.v)

frisk's face turned so pale i thought she was going to faint and i'd have to catch her.

"Sans I-"

"kid..." i cut her off. i didn't want to hear some fake apology, her words mean nothing.

"...come on"

i walked through the bars and stopped in front of the lamp, expecting her to get the idea and go behind. instead frisk just stood there awkwardly.

"...well go on" i said gesturing to the lamp.

"Oh sorry"

...lies...

she ducked behind the lamp just before paps came. i felt more calm with him here, almost happy. pap was that kind of person, he made everything better.

i looked over to the lamp to find frisk looking out from behind it. what is she doing?? she was looking over at pap almost smiling. then she started to cry. i felt another tug at my soul, but it was immediately filled with rage. why was she crying?? was she feeling guilty? was she upset that pap is alive? that piece shit, does she hate him that much?

eventually pap went off laughing, and i just teleported away. i couldn't stand being around her.

i hated every interaction with frisk. i'd act fine for paps' sake, but the moment he leaves, i just teleport away. every time i look at her, all i can see is her ruby eyes and demonic smile, her sharp knife and dust all over her. there's a mixture of anger and sadness when i'm around her, anger for the things she's done, and sadness for...i don't know. this is how i felt when i lost him, so why am i feeling like this around frisk.

right now pap and i are waiting at the end of the bridge. pap is unusually quiet, i had expected him to be talking about his latest trap or spaghetti. instead he was just standing there looking confused about something. before i could ask what was wrong, frisk had walked up to us. she glanced at me a little scared, still with sad eyes.

"HUMAN! THIS IS YOUR FINAL AND MOST DANGEROUS CHALLENGE! BEHOLD! THE GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR!"

a spiky ball, two spears, a cannon, fire, and that annoying dog now surrounded the end of the bridge.

pap started to explain the trap, and frisk just stood there and listened. she looks so innocent at first glance. short brown hair, little button nose, blue and purple sweater, brown eyes, and the sweetest smile. but get to know her and she's not that innocent.

"ARE YOU READY! BECAUSE! I! AM! ABOUT! TO DO IT!"

there was silence as we all just stood there.

"well? what's the holdup?"

"HOLDUP!? WHAT HOLDUP!? I'M... I'M ABOUT TO ACTIVATE IT NOW!"

pap looked upset and frisk looked down sadly.

"that, uh, doesn't look very activated"

"WELL!!! THIS CHALLENGE!!! IT SEEMS... MAYBE...TO EASY TO DEFEAT THE HUMAN WITH. YEAH WE CAN'T USE THIS ONE! I'M A SKELETON WITH STANDARDS!!! MY PUZZLES ARE VERY FAIR! AND MY TRAPS ARE EXPERTLY COOKED! BUT THIS METHOD IS TOO DIRECT! NO CLASS AT ALL! AWAY IT GOES!"

before i could say anything, everything disappeared.

"PHEW... WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!? THIS WAS ANOTHER DECISIVE VICTORY FOR PAPYRUS!! NYEH!! HEH!!...HEH???"

pap then ran off looking more unsure about something. i looked back at the kid who was still looking sad. i then teleported to my room.

sighing i set down on the bed and put my head in my hands.

...do you hate her yet...did she deserve to die...

i laid down on my bed wishing the voice would go away.

...were you doing the right thing...or are you just as bad as her...

i rolled onto my side wanting to fall asleep.

...she may have killed hundreds...but you killed her hundreds of times...

with that final thought, i drifted off to sleep.

...she was standing there...without a weapon...brown eyes...and cuts all over her..."Please stop"...she fell to the ground...no longer able to stand... "Mercy...please"...i summoned multiple gaster blasters...they all fired at her...she was lying down now...i walked over to her...and crouched down to see whether she was still alive...she was whispering something "I...forgive...yo-"...her lifeless eyes stared back at me...

i woke up gasping for air.

...are you the real monster...

feeling shaky, i got up and left my room. as i was walking down the stairs, the front door opened and frisk and papyrus walked in. frisk looked at me and instantly turned pale, i guess she really was scared of me. pap was beaming and rushed over to me.

"BROTHER! THE HUMAN HAS ACCEPTED MY INVITATION TO BE FRIENDS! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A DATE NOW!!!"

...you can't escape your actions...

"uh, pap. are you sure that's the best idea?"

"YES BROTHER I'M SURE! WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN US!?"

frisk looked at pap with a panicked expression.

"nah bro, i'm feeling bone tired"

"OH YOU LAZY BONES! YOU'RE ALWAYS SLEEPING! AND STOP WITH THE PUNS!!!"

... you're lazy... and pathetic... even he realises...

"heh, come on bro. that was pretty humerus"

frisk looked away, smuggling a laugh. i forgot she actually like my puns, and for a moment i almost smiled.

"SANS!!! STOP! SAYING! PUNS!"

"sorry paps, i forgot you didn't have a funny bone"

frisk let out a laugh and so did i. a real laugh, not those fake ones a do all the time.

"HUMAN! COME TO MY ROOM SO WE CAN ESCAPE THESE TERRIBLE PUNS!!!"

pap walked past me and started to walk up the stairs and frisk followed, making sure not to make eye contact with me.

still chuckling to myself a bit, i left the house and walked into the cold. sighing, i started to walk to waterfall.

what did frisk want with papyrus, why kill him and then be friends with him again. it just doesn't make sense.

... you're trash sans... you can't protect anyone you love... you couldn't save him... you couldn't save papyrus...

groaning, i kept walking, trying to block out the fucking voice.

... and then you killed her... is the hate you feel towards her... just you trying to cover up your own guilt...

i had arrived at waterfall now. waterfall was my favorite place to be, mainly because of the fake stars. the stars were my favorite thing about the surface. i loved the way they sparked and shined. frisk, pap and i spent nights together sleeping under the stars. i miss those days.

i said hello to a few of the monsters there as i sat down at my station. i rested my head on my hand and tapped the table with the other.

... you're useless... you can't do anything right... you just make everything worse... nobody needs you... you should just go die...

my breath hitched as i thought this. i've had these thoughts before, but it doesn't make them any more scary. i remember the first time i thought like this on the surface.

it was one of those bad days, and i was hanging out with frisk playing video games. when the thoughts got louder i told her i had to go the bathroom and teleported there. i broke down and cried. i must have been there for a while because frisk came and knocked on the door to check whether everything was alright. when i didn't answer she opened the door to find me curled up in the corner sobbing. she ran over to me to me. i was expecting a rush off questions, but instead she just hugged me like she knew exactly what i was going through. when i'd stopped crying i asked her one question, 'do you think even the worst person can change?'. she stared at me for a second and then nodded her head. she said that everyone can be a good person if they tried. she wondered why i had asked her this, and i asked her whether i was a good person. she then said that i was the best person she knew, that i always did the right thing and was always kind. i believed her.

frisk was that kind of person that could make anyone feel better. i trusted her more than anyone else. i always came to her on bad days, and she'd never get frustrated at my stubbornness and depression. instead she'd always try to make me feel better even if i just wanted to be alone. she's the only one i told about my nightmares, i mean i rarely told her what they were about. but she still was kind and empathetic. i miss that...

... nobody would miss you... papyrus would be thankful to get rid of your lazy ass... and he can look after himself... he doesn't need you... and all you so called 'friends'... none of them actually care about you... and frisk... do you think she'd forgive after what you've done...

i put my head in my hands, i can't take this anymore. i faintly heard someone say "Are you alright Sans?"

...it wouldn't be hard...

when will this end?

...just get a bone...

i just want everything to go back to normal...

...and stab it through your soul...

i just want to feel okay...

...JUST LIKE YOU KILLED HER...

i'm sorry frisk...

i wanted to teleport away, but i heard frisk's footsteps. looking up i saw her stare at me with fear.

"come here, kid" i tried to make my voice as normal as possible, so she didn't realise i was dying inside.

she walked over to me slowly. getting up from behind my station i said, "let's go for a walk", and started to go further into waterfall.

~☆~

I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!!

Shout out to Tazrainbow for being my bestest friend. She's amazing and you guys should go follow her. I'm hoping if she gets more followers then she'll have the courage to start writing her own book.

Also shout out to UndertalePacifist88 for supporting the story, even though she doesn't like Frans. She's given me the motivation I've needed to keep writing this.

Also if anyone has any constructive criticism, then I'd love to hear it.

Take care of yourself, Sincerely Me!!