Are you still awake?
Spoken word poetry at midnight inexplicably reminds me of late conversations with you
And with every passing moment, you'd feel exhaustion sneaking up on you like the biting insecurities that persisted wherever you went
And whenever you dreamt
Are you still awake?
I knew, no I know that every time you slip into that dreamlike state, a nightmare is all that comforts you
It smothers you because your reality poisons you just as much as your heinous dreams
And you haven't any idea which one to call the nightmare
Are you still awake?
We don't talk at night, you speak and I listen because anything I have to say can wait when I don't know if the words I hear from you tonight will be your last
Before you slip into that nightmarish state where you become the most terrible inflicter of pain on yourself
Much like in the waking world, where shining serrated steel slashes sinful symphonies into a body that already deals with the wounds words do deliver
Are you still awake?
The happiness we share is effortless, at least I think
Words flutter to and fro, birds envious to the longevity of their flights
Our days turn into nights, nights turn into nightmares
Silent screams scratch the ears of a God that no longer listens
And listless days the only kind when you're out with your family
You just let everything drift away from the lazy sea of reality
Are you still awake?
You worsened, my presence no longer enough to lift you out of the sea of depression you drown in every time you're alone
You try other things to calm your mind down
Because insomnia eventually quiets down to rest when you swallow fistfuls of sleeping pills
Really I'm surprised you stayed awake
Eventually all you'll ever really drown in is drowsiness, and I'm getting tired of trying to keep you afloat
Are you still awake?
I watch you sink deeper and deeper into your pool of despair, yet nowadays it looks more like an ocean
And I'm surprised as to how long you can hold your breath
You've been down there for so long
Are you still awake?
Spoken word poetry at midnight inexplicably reminds me of late conversations with you
So this midnight I was expecting a call that never came, and simply wondered the usual
Are you still awake?
A blooming flower wilting under the sweltering heat of the sun
Soon to flourish but not given the chance, because the sun's burning rays burn too harshly for this flower, and beauty's dying petals can't seem to stay awake
In every respect you're a rose, with so many folds and creases
But these creases, these imperfections make you perfectly pulchritudinous
And so I forgot that you were hurting, or that you were broken, or that I didn't know how to fix you
Or keep you awake
Are you still awake?
I really need you to be awake
Sleeping pills bring temporary shrouds of weariness
Death was never meant to loom over you
You never wanted to stay awake, I know the only reason you ever tried was because if you went to sleep, I'd have no one to talk to
And now, I have no one to talk to
God, please wake up
If you're not awake, you let the world win
Just another thin skinned teen consumed by words, drugs and depression
Please be awake
Or I will never have another sleep filled night
My nightmares simply continuations of abysmal abnormalities
I need you to be awake, for everything in my life
For everything in your life
Please
Are you still awake?
-are you still awake?