It's so late
i can't process...
no I can't think straight
caught up in music i don't listen to
not really anyways
drifting in thoughts i don't want to hear
not really anyways
It's so late
or at this point would it be considered early?
i want to be a lover
but 2 am is not a time for lovers
for happy souls
so of which, i am neither
2 am is a time for the tormented
for those who watch helplessly as their delicate flesh is torn apart like tattered petals on a chrysanthemum
a foolish child plucking to the words "she loves me, she loves me not"
she loves you, just not as you thought
i am tormented
my petals find new homes in the hearts of those around me
leaving me bare
It's so late
i just want to find another flower
but barren leaves leave me falling to dead grounds
restless thoughts burn through my psyche
It's so late
It's too late
2 am
Is a time for listening to the pitter patter of rain on your roof
Wondering where everything went wrong
But then you think
At least the sky is crying instead of me.
2 am
Is a time for playing with lighters
And wishing you had something to burn
Because at least then it wouldn't feel like you were on fire.
2 am
Is a time for nostalgia
And imagining things are better than they seem.
That dreams just remain dreams
but by dreams you must mean nightmares
because the waking world hides demons more frightening than anything my thoughts could ever conjure
2 am
should never have been for me
But it is
It's so late
And I find myself writing the best at ungodly hours in the morning
So does that make my writing ungodly
Or simply tired?
An overused trope, of which every writer has utilized
It's so late
How can I be unique when everything has been done at least once
How can I overcome a past that I tell myself I'm glad is done but I wish would come back to me
How can I deal with these thoughts of insecurity, that I'm not good enough, that my friendships won't last
That I'll never truly be happy, that the one will never be found
That religion is a lie, when religion is alive
How will I deal with this thought that I'll never go anywhere
That I'll never be successful
With anything
It's so late
And I don't want to be awake
If you read this far I commend you, you're literally just reading my soul on this screen
And it feels good to let it out
So thank you
I think...
I think I'm finally going to go to sleep
-2am