"There is a little boy inside the man who is my brother... Oh, how I hated that little boy. And how I love him too." ~Anna Quindlen

— - 0 - —

"We're here," Noelle announces as the sun sets. A beautiful sunset fills the sky. Gold and orange and dance in the sky while a touch of what looks like brown which are the silhouette trees and greenery.

Also falling out of the cart Kaeya quickly exits. The maids of Dawn Winery spot Kaeya the chatter birds gasp and cover their mouths. Adelaide quickly jumps into action and catches the young child.

"Are you okay, Master Kaeya?" She asks putting the child down on solid ground. Adelaide looks at the horse then at the other two maids. "Moco, Hillie, go make yourselves useful and tie the horses down."

"Yes, Adelaide."

"Of course, Adelaide."

"Where's Diluc?" Kaeya asks, jumping up and down.

Adelaide shots a glance to Noelle who just shrugs. They mentally tell each other that they guess Kaeya doesn't remember anything past his current age.

"He's just-"

The door opens revealing Diluc; the adult version of Diluc. Everyone is silent.

Young Kaeya breaks the silence. He examines his brother who is much older than he remembers. "D-Diluc...? Is it really you...?" He whispers.

Diluc glares at young Kaeya which strikes fear into the boy. The childhood memory of young Diluc calling his name shatters with the death glare.

He hides behind Noelle's dress, clutching it as if it was his life support. His eyes are in between open and closed. He cannot decide if he wants to see him or not anymore.

Trying to discuss the situation Noelle says, "Master Diluc, Kaeya is over here to study to become a knight. Please help him."

Diluc sulks, "Great another activity to add to my already tall stack. Also why can't you teach him? You're a knight."

"I may be a knight but not in the fighting aspect. I can teach him everything in the handbook, but not how to fight. That's for you to do."

Diluc grumbles. "Fine." He looks to Adelaide. "Prepare dinner for Noelle and Kaeya."

"Yes, Master Diluc," she says with a bow along with the others as they quickly walk away to make the food and prepare the table.

"I should help," Noelle says and walks toward the door, but Kaeya's hand stops her. He is still holding it tightly. "Kaeya, dear, can you please let go of-"

"No!" Kaeya yells curtly. "Don't leave me...with him." Kaeya glares at Diluc and Diluc glares back. He hides behind the Maid of Favonious's dress, not holding the skirt too tightly now.

Noelle squat down slowly so her dress doesn't fly up into the air. She removes the bluenette's hands from her dress and holds them in front of her now that she is at her level. "You're going to be okay Kaeya. Diluc is still your brother, he has changed from what you remember but he is still your brother. So don't be afraid," she whispers. "Okay?"

Kaeya catches a glance of Diluc, then looks back to Noelle who is wearing a smile. He nods. "Okay."

"I'll go get your handbook then we can go enjoy dinner," Noelle says going to the cart which is left in front of Dawn Winery and retrieving the book.

Kaeya and Diluc make eye contact. The adult continues to glare at the child. The latter has nothing to hide behind.

'Why is he glaring at me?' Kaeya thinks to himself, his curiosity taking over his fear. 'Did I do something mean to him when I was an adult? It's weird to think I was an adult. I don't remember being an adult.'

Noelle comes back with the book in hand. Kaeya grabs into her other hands and the two holding hands walk past Diluc. Kaeya didn't dare look at him or even towards him, but Noelle did. She glares at him which is uncharacteristic of the sweet knight.

A maid opens the door for Kaeya and Noelle who leave Diluc outside.

The sunset quickly lowers into a dark night. Kaeya and Noelle enjoy a delicious dinner, Noelle compliments Adelaide.

They go to bed, Noelle and Kaeya sleep in the same bed. The maids gave them some simple night gowns, Kaeya getting the one he used to sleep in as a child. It fits perfectly.

Noelle falls asleep leaving Kaeya with his thoughts, 'What did I do? Did I say something bad to him'

Kaeya's back snaps up, sweat beads on his forehead.

"No," he says out loud. "He doesn't know. Does he?"

Catching his breath Kaeya says shaking his head, "No, no, no, he doesn't know that I'm from Khaenri'ah. He would probably kill me if he knew..."

Laying back on his back, Kaeya stares up at the ceiling. 'I don't want to have a bad relationship with Diluc. I don't think I can deal with his glares. He's still my brother after all...'

***

"-up. Wake up, Kaeya it's time to get out of bed," Noelle says, gently shaking the boy awake.

"I'm awake, I'm awake," Kaeya says, pushing Noelle's hands away with his own. He yawns a wide and long yawn and gets up from the king sized bed.

"Why are you yawning now?" Noelle asks in a joking way and chuckles a little. "You just woke up."

"Normal people yawn when they wake up," Kaeya counters.

The truth was that Kaeya stayed up most of the night thinking on how to fix his friendship- or is it brotherhood?- with Diluc. He never really had friends before Ella and Klee. What would they do now that he was a mean, sulking adult? Kaeya guesses he would just go with the following for today. After all he had time...or did he?

"I guess you're right," Noelle says. "Let's go change first then go down and eat breakfast with Master Diluc."

"Okay."

Noelle leaves holding her armored, maid dress which looked freshly cleaned. Kaeya notices that his day time clothes were also recently washed, dried and folded.

He quickly slips out of the loose nightgown and into his day time clothes. Kaeya wants to look perfect for his brother. He puts on his white long sleeved shirt and navy blue shorts, then his socks and shin-high boots which have been shined to perfection.

Kaeya ties his hairs with the bow. It's sloppy. A frown forms on his face as he insects it in a mirror.

Exiting their room Kaeya looks at Diluc's bedroom door. His was the one at the end of the turning hallway and theirs was the one right next to it.

Noelle exits one of the rooms, he assumes that's the bathroom. The light sees the little boy and waves for him to come to her.

He runs to her, tears forming in his eyes.

"Hey," Noelle says, going down on one knee. She cups his face and wipes a tear with her thumb. "What's wrong?"

"I-I can't tie the w-ribbon," Kaeya says through tears.

"Aww, let me help you," Noelle says. Kaeya takes a step back so she can't tie the navy ribbons into bows. "There, all better."

"Thank you," Kaeya says through sniffles.

"Come on," Noelle says, holding the young boy's hand as they walk down the turning corridor and staircase.

Kaeya notices something new about the winery. A strange new vase. Kaeya walks to the vase entranced by how out of place it is. Dawn Winfrey is mostly wooden and white with golden accents, though this vase is colorful with green, yellow, red, and blue.

"Do you like it?" Someone says from behind him.

Kaeya turns around, and almost trips behind the man. "Oh, Diluc! I didn't see you there," Kaeya turns around to look at his brother. "I do like it. It's different from everything inside. why? Is it a gift?"

"Yeah, it's from someone...special," Diluc says, looking straight into Kaeya's sea blue eyes.

A couple of "Awww~" come from behind the two brothers.

Diluc turns around. "Shouldn't you be preparing the food?" Diluc says to Hillie and Moco. "I didn't hire you just to be chatter birds and gossip about me."

"Sorry Master Diluc," the maids say bowing.

"Let's go sit at the table."

They sit down. Diluc at the head of the table, Kaeya to his right and Noelle to his left. The other two chairs were left empty. For some reason Kaeya cannot stop smiling. It's like the Diluc from last night is gone. 'Maybe he just had a tough day,' Kaeya rationalizes.

Slowly the maids bring breakfast out from the kitchen and on the rectangle table. Nothing fancy, just some fruit and cooked meat.

As they eat no conversation is shared, but as people finish Kaeya asks a question to Diluc. "What are we going to do today?"

"I have a busy schedule, so I won't be here until the evening. I have another shipment of wine to deliver to Charles at Angel's Share," Diluc explains.

Kaeya frowns. He remembers a time he felt like this: 'Diluc- or should I say young Diluc- and I wanted to go with Diluc's father to Angel's Share. He said that if we are well behaved and responsible for the whole day before and the morning before he left he would let us ride with him this once and never again.'

'Diluc and I were the most responsible and well behaved children in miles (it totally doesn't help that we were probably the only children in miles) of Dawn Winery. But then something happened the day that Diluc's father was supposed to go to Angel's Share. Some hilichurls had blocked multiple paths to Mondstadt. If he wanted to go to Mondstadt now it would take him a day or two to leave and come back.'

'He didn't want to leave his children for a day and excepally not for two. We thought this was good now he was forced to take us! But he also thought that if he goes on a different trail then he might encounter hilichurls and they would wreck his wine. We tried to convince him that we could take on the hilichurls because we had been studying to be knights of Favonious, but Diluc's father said no.'

'To say the least Diluc and I were devastated. Our only chance to go to Angel's Share was lost to a bunch of hilichurls.'

"Well, that's great!" Noelle says. "That means that Kaeya and I can go through the handbook."

Kaeya didn't want to go through the teal book; he wanted to go with Diluc to Angel's Share.

Kaeya sighs and puts on a forced smile. "Yup."

— - 0 - —

Have you ever been promised something by your parents or siblings but was disappointed when they forgot or just ended up not fulfilling their promise? I have.

My dad said he would talk to me after noticing I had a bad day at school. I was so excited, my parents noticed me being sad; they have never done that before! But of course my depressing life said no because Dad forgot...

I never initiate conversation about myself or my belief that I might be depressed. I don't think I'm depressed anymore, but before I thought I was depressed because I was always sad and had been for weeks.

This book brought me out of it. Now I'm not sad for weeks at a time!