Argenta's POV

He was still lying there. Unconscious. Weak. I hated seeing him like that and felt even worse knowing that I was the reason he was in that condition.

It had been 53 hours and 27 minutes that he had been there on the one single bed connected to a myriad of machines scanning his vitals. The solemn room was only lit by two lamps on either side of the bed, and the TV was still as un-distracting as it had been the past two days. I snuggled the fuzzy blanket around myself tighter when I started having goosebumps from the chilly air conditioner. My fingers subconsciously wrapped around my crystal. I could still taste the bitter coffee I had had a couple of hours back; it was the only thing I had ingested in a day.

I jumped a little in my chair upon hearing the door of the ward open. The sound was a loud contrast to the rhythmic beeping of the numerous monitors of the otherwise solemn room.

"Rasceta will cover for us and Elysian for Octane," Reyna said as she closed the door softly.

"Go get some rest, Ar," She placed a hand on my shoulder, her voice laced with concern.

"What makes you think I'm not well-rested?" I chuckled slightly.

"The fact that you've been here for the past two days and are surviving off of nothing but coffee," She deadpanned, "Not to mention that the two hours that you did sleep, you were on this very chair,"

There was a memorisutira attack on the school while we were in the simulation. The mentors got distracted and couldn't pull Lory out of the simulation in time. The squads on duty handled the attack admirably, but Lory and Atria were still in the simulation facing spikes in their vitals. Lory was in pain, and I couldn't do anything to make it easier for him.

He died in my arms.

"It wasn't your fault, Ar,"

"Yes, it was. I put Lory up to it. I asked him to handle a fire of that magnitude. If I had found another way-" My voice broke, "If I had just found another way, maybe he wouldn't be lying unconscious in this med room,"

"He isn't here because of you-"

"How can you say that?" I intercepted her, "You weren't there, Rey."

Tears stung at the back of my eyes, and my voice became feeble, "I watched as that monster pierced his skin. He died in my arms," I choked out.

I watched him as he took his last breath, felt his heartbeat cease, and saw the crimson of his blood dry on my hands. It made me numb. Painful doesn't even begin to describe what I felt when it happened. It was absolutely harrowing.

There was something else too that I didn't tell anyone. Well, technically, Willia knew since she could hear our thoughts and everything. But she didn't say a word to anyone.

When Lory died in the simulation, I felt Tarnisha take over. But it was different this time. My conscience didn't get pushed back like it had been every time she made an appearance. This time, it felt like I was the one making the calls. This time, I knew what was happening. I was the one in control. I was the monster.

"It was just a simulation. Roger is saying that he should be awake in a few hours. And he will be perfectly healthy by tomorrow. Then you can both bicker and play fight again. Maybe even jab him a little in the ribs for dying on you, huh?" She joked and hugged me.

"He's gonna get a lot more than a jab," I joked back and hugged her tighter.

"You thought of something dirty, didn't you?" I deadpanned.

"Maybee,"

"God, you are gross!"

"Hey! I'm not gross, just a little whoremonal,"

"Good grief, get away from me, you dirty-minded speedster," I chuckled and broke the hug.

"You know you love me, darling," She sang, and I rolled my eyes while I held back a smile.

What did I do to deserve these completely awesome idiots?

Reyna got me some coffee and a chocolate bar and grabbed a chair to sit with me for a bit.

"Sean called," She said after a few moments of silence.

"Oh," I said.

"Go, talk to him. Nick and Jax are coming; Lory won't be alone,"

"But-"

"No buts, missy!"

"But-"

"Does anyone here ever listen to me?" She remarked before getting up, picking me up and speeding me into the hallway.

Finding yourself standing in an empty hallway alone when you were sitting comfortably on a chair a second ago could be termed typical Rey. Realising that I had no other option, I went to see Sean. We had gone on our second date a few days back. He took me horseriding. I haven't the slightest clue how he knew I loved horses, but I had a great time.

Really.

I did.

Fine, I didn't feel completely awesome; Sean was a wonderful guy, and I liked him, but I don't know; I always felt like something was incomplete whenever I was with him. Like when he held my hand, it never felt perfect. Maybe it just didn't exist; this made for each other soulmate nonsense. Perhaps it was just another urban legend. A fairytale for the kids; a cheesy, appealing-to-the-teens sales tactic to sell romance novels.

It was just a myth.

Then why was I still looking for it?

Hoping that someone could be as perfect for me as Mr Darcy for Lizzy as Chase was for Goldi or Augustus for Hazel?

I was crazy. Love like that could only exist in novels.

So then why couldn't my stupid, stupid heart come to terms with this and stop wishing and looking for the impossible?!

And then it started thinking of him; how his touch lit me up on fire, how his smile warmed my heart, how his hand fit perfectly in mine, and how I felt safe in his arms.

And how it was just one-sided.

Wow, I'm really good at hurting myself, huh!

I broke out of my reverie and looked at the carved woody door of Sean's dorm.

My brain instantly compared this to the feeling I had got whenever I was about to knock on Lory's door. The nervous excitement bubbling at the pit of my stomach and the uncontrollable smile were just not there. Poof.

Life is not a fairytale, Argenta!

So, I knocked.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.

Knock. Knock.

I waited a second before Sean opened the door.

"Hi, right back at ya," He smiled, with messy hair and a groggy voice.

"I'm so sorry; I didn't know you were sleeping. I'll just come back later," I turned to leave, but Sean grabbed my wrist and pulled me back.

"You can wake me up at 4 in the morning, and I still won't mind, Scout," He whispered in my ear and let me go when I nodded.

"So when are you planning to tell me?" He asked.

"Tell you what?"

"That we can't date anymore,"

"Wha-"

"Don't lie to yourself, Scout," He said solemnly, "I saw you when that memorisutira killed him. It was almost as if it was you that she hurt." His eyes held pain that I had never seen in them before.

I'm a horrible person.

"Sean-"

"It's okay." He trailed, placing his hands on my cheeks, "I really hoped that you liked me back, but you don't, and that's alrig-"

"I do like you, but I just- I love him," My eyes started tearing up.

He nodded, looking down.

"Goodbye, Scout," He smiled dolefully.

"I'm sorry," My voice broke, and a single tear ran down my left eye, burning my skin as it went.

"I know," He said and kissed my forehead before turning to go back to his dorm. Just before closing the door, he stopped and looked at me again, pain and dejection swirling in his eyes, and then he smiled.

I kept standing there, tearing up, and my gaze fixated on the carved wooden door. There are 171,146 words in the English language, but I couldn't use all of them to describe how terrible I felt for doing this to Sean.

I am a monster.

A/N:

Hellooo, beautiful people!! It's the 8th of June today a.k.a LORY'S BIRTHDAYYY.

This chapter took me forever to write, so tell me if you liked it.

Also, do you want me to add all their birthdays to the character descriptions?

Anyway, see you next chapter! Take care <3